24 episodes

A podcast for men and women who struggle with sexual addiction

SA speakeasy Roy Kim

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.9 • 21 Ratings

A podcast for men and women who struggle with sexual addiction

    Ep. 24 In Search of a Salve (with K E Garland)

    Ep. 24 In Search of a Salve (with K E Garland)

    Navigating regular life in a White world as a Black female is a lot in itself. Add sex addiction on top of that, and you have to answer major questions, such as Where do I belong? Is there something even more broken about me than the next person?
    In this episode, I have the privilege to speak with Kathy Garland, author of In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict. Some of our talking points:
    The problem of sex addiction as largely viewed as a male issue. Men get away with a lot of things. Women not so much. The importance of identifying your emotions and sitting through it. Black men and women are taught to be strong, which then leads to emotional deafness Unhealthy relationship patterns.  Christians and their difficulty setting boundaries Is God ashamed of those of us with sex addictions? What is it like to keep secrets and live a double life? Our bodies react to our traumas and our secrets. Being 40 but functioning like a hurt little 16 year old. Kathy's advice to women with sex addiction Kathy's book is a must read! Her memoir will make many of you feel you're not alone. She puts words to many thoughts that we hesitate to utter, but in so doing, releasing the shame word by word. Her contribution as a Black female is essential, and I hope you will support her!

    Music credit: George Street Shuffle by Kevin Macleod

    • 53 min
    Ep. 23 Reclaiming Sexual Pleasure After Betrayal Trauma

    Ep. 23 Reclaiming Sexual Pleasure After Betrayal Trauma

    "I have no desire for sex. I can't even hold hands or sit close to that person." "Is there something wrong with me if I can't feel sexual anymore?" "I keep comparing myself to the other people my partner cheated with"  
    It is common and normal for someone to be adversely affected in their sexuality after being betrayed. It's also quite terrible. But there is hope. Christene Lozano (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist) joins me to talk about how a partner's sexual betrayal can affect someone's own sexuality. She also provides some tips on how to start healing.
    Some of our talking points:
    How can the betrayer respond in a healthy way? Can ethnicity matter when it comes to trauma response? Why do some betrayed partners become hyper-sexual after betrayal? Many partners feel they've been robbed of their sexual self Is there such a thing as healthy masturbation? How does a partner begin to reclaim their sexuality?  
    Learn more about Christene: www.merakicounselingservices.com
    Learn more about Roy: www.newlegacycounseling.com

    • 55 min
    Ep. 22 Female Sex and Love Addiction

    Ep. 22 Female Sex and Love Addiction

    Sex and Love Addiction afflicts men and women alike. Unfortunately society places the bulk of the attention on the men who struggle, leaving women with the question: What about us? 
    Kim Hudson is my guest today, helping me discuss the topic of female sex and love addiction. She is a Certified Sex Addiction therapist practicing in the Baltimore area. 
    Here are some of the topics we discuss:
    The "Otherness" that female SLAs experience Male privilege The symptoms that female SLAs experience Women are hunters, too The horrible feeling of being a bad mom The unfair higher moral standard for women Perfectionism and shame Email Kim:
    Email Roy:

    • 42 min
    Ep. 21 Asian American CSATs Discuss the Atlanta Massacre

    Ep. 21 Asian American CSATs Discuss the Atlanta Massacre

    6 Asian Americans murdered. Doesn't that make this a hate crime against Asians? The victims were women. Doesn't this make this misogyny? This massacre happened in a year of rising hate crimes against Asians. Doesn't this crime fit the mold? Is the sex addiction statement just another example of White murderers getting off the hook? Huge questions. Huge topics. Joining me in discussing this horrible event are Edwina Reyes and Christene Lozano. They are Certified Sex Addiction therapists, as well as Asian American women. We offer our contributions to the discussion from a lens under-represented in media and social media. 

    • 37 min
    Ep. 20 Assistance If You Decide To Disclose

    Ep. 20 Assistance If You Decide To Disclose

    Perhaps you have decided to disclose to your partner (or your partner has given you an ultimatum) the whole truth about your secret behaviors, so that your partner knows everything and does not need to keep searching for answers. How do you go about doing it in the most healthy and helpful way possible?
    Thankfully, assistance is at hand. Dan Drake joins me to share about the enormously helpful resource that he and Janice Caudill created. It is a set of workbooks that guide a therapist and couple step by step through the Full Disclosure process. There is no one right way to do it, so the steps include options to consider so that every unique situation has a chance to adjust accordingly. 
    The primary book we discuss today is called Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal. It is a tremendous contribution to the sex addiction field. 
    Contact Dan: dan@banyantherapy.com
    or visit his website www.banyantherapy.com
    Contact Roy: roy@newlegacycounseling.com 
    or visit his website www.newlegacycounseling.com

    • 45 min
    Ep. 19 The COVID19 Edition

    Ep. 19 The COVID19 Edition

    Dan Drake, the founder and director of Banyan Therapy Group, joins me to talk about COVID19 and its impact on the recovery path of sexual addicts and their traumatized partners. 
    Contact Dan at dan@banyantherapy.com, and visit his website: www.banyantherapy.com
    Contact Roy at roy@newlegacycounseling.com and visit his website: www.newlegacycounseling.com

    • 41 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
21 Ratings

21 Ratings

Ross Goodman ,

Amazing, honest, and helpful

By far the best podcast I’ve listened to on addiction! I hope for more episodes !

D. Woodrow Wynder ,

Love this

I am so thankful for this podcast, it so often articulates thoughts and feelings I have. I hope more episodes keep coming.

Jar Jar in DB ,

Informative and compassionate

Roy synthesizes his training and expertises into bite-sized conversations with other specialists in this much needed field. He extends empathy to those who are hurting and ashamed, and describes various tools for recovery. This podcast is a valuable resource for silent sufferers and their partners!

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