Salo and Virtue Salo and Virtue

Today we get into long distance relationships all the good and the bad. Salo gets into her own experience with long distance relationships. Are long distance relationships any different than living in the same area as your partner? Do we have to take any extra consideration in long distance relationships?



References

Girls Gotta Eat

Matthew Hussey

Is it healthy to use sex to emotionally regulate? We explore the pros and cons. What are the implications when a partner wants to use sex as a tool for emotional regulation, especially when 40% of heterosexual women say they have difficulty reaching an orgasm?



Let's get into it!



References:

Angry Sex

Podcast on Men using Sex for Emotional Regulation

Cornell Research Program on Self Injury and Recovery

When we began Salo and Virtue, we started with a confession portion on our Patreon where we shared some thoughts/experiences that we worried were too risque to share on spotify. We have discontinued creating new content for that platform at the moment, but the episodes live on. Check us out.



Today we are Rereleasing our confession #3 which was released with our Virtue #3 on attachment. Double check the description for our trigger warnings. Enjoy!



Description:

In today's confession, Salo gets into how her attachment style is showed up after meeting someone at Art Basel Miami 2022 and partying in New York. 

The trigger warning in the confession has two errors please see below for the correct minute marks for the trigger warnings. 

Trigger warning: casual drug use is mentioned throughout the confession, however more serious drug use and addiction is discussed at minutes 6:30 - 8:00 and 16:15 - 18:00. 

Have you ever been confused about how some one would like to you just to get you in bed? Same here. Turns out that sciences has found we are more likely to lie when we are trying to get laid or when we are "sexually primed".



It turns out the ability to lie signifies a certain level of brain development. We don't condone lying to get laid, but now at least we can understand that it happens for a reason.



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References

Why People Tell Lies about Sex

The Art of Lying

Brain Adapts to Dishonesty

How Much do We Lie When Sex is on the Brain

Gurit Birnbaum TED talk

In our third and final part of our orgasm gap series, we talk about why pleasure is so important. Our culturally instituted orgasm or pleasure gap has manipulated how we study sexuality in women and the results we get that are sanctioned by the scientific method. 

Check out the episode for some shocking statistics about whether more men are looking for a relationship vs. women, even we were surprised by the numbers.



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References:

The Female Sexual Response, A Different Model

The Pleasure Gap by Katherine Rowland

Pew Research - % of Men vs. Women Looking for a Relationship



Show notes:

0:00 Introduction

1:05 The importance of women’s pleasure

3:32 Sex as a spectacle and fake orgasms

4:11 The normalization of women not enjoying sex

5:05 Barriers to pleasure

6:35 Understanding pleasure

7:20 Discordant sexual arousal in women

8:53 The flywheel effect and sexual dysfunction

9:42 Cultural constraints on female pleasure

10:27 The impact the pleasure gap has on relationships

13:46 The decrease in relationship interest among women

18:19 An experiment in shifting focus

Today we dive deeper into the orgasm gap experienced between heterosexual partners. We discuss the culture, mental and physical blocks.



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0:00 Introduction

1:50 Historical Context of Orgasm Gap

3:08 Reframing the Orgasm Gap

4:07 Cultural, Mental and Physical Blocks to Orgasms

10:22 Addressing Mental Blocks

11:23 The Importance of Exploration & Practice

13:42 Understanding Individual Difference

18:07 Taking Responsibility and Communicating

19:28 Practices for Closing the Income Gap

20:20 Conclusion