Serenity Now

Valentine's Day, for most people, is a day to celebrate love. For the more neurotic among us, we might be inclined to spend the day analytically dissecting our romantic lives and partnerships. There are conflicting truths about modern relationships: we have to accept that our partners are special, sacred and worth fighting for; and, at the same time, that modern marriage was never meant to be like this. Throughout history, our co-parents, best friends, cooks, nannies and confidants were different people; today, we expect everything from our partner.

It's no surprise that couples therapy has risen dramatically, and that the shifting role of men in society—more depressed, anxious and lonely—has played a role in this.

Daniel Oppenheimer knows this well. The writer and podcaster recently published a lengthy personal feature in the New York Times Magazine, "How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me", in which he details undergoing couples therapy quasi-publicly with the acclaimed therapist Terry Real. He joins Bonjour Chai, our weekly current affairs show, to discuss the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions and the complexities of modern masculinity—especially through the lens of Jewish identity.

Credits

• Hosts: Avi Finegold and Phoebe Maltz Bovy (@BovyMaltz)
• Production team: Joe Fish (producer & editor), Michael Fraiman (executive producer)
• Music: Socalled

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