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Sex and Psychology Podcast

Dr. Justin Lehmiller
  • 4.6 (281)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com

  1. The New Rules Of Intimacy

    1D AGO

    The New Rules Of Intimacy

    Most people think of sexual consent as a simple yes-or-no question. But it’s rarely that clear-cut. In this episode, we unpack why consent is about more than permission, how power and context shape sexual choices, and what it means to build experiences that feel mutual, ethical, and genuinely good for everyone involved. My guest is Dr. Nicole McNichols an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole’s course, “The Diversity of Human Sexuality,” is the largest and most popular course in the university’s history with four thousand enrolled students each year. Nicole is author of the new book You Could Be Having Better Sex. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are we getting wrong about sexual consent, and what’s missing from the way we typically define it? What does “intentional awareness” actually look like in a sexual encounter? Why does honesty about your motivations matter just as much as a verbal yes? Should pleasure be considered a core part of consent? If so, why? How can we practice consent not just as a rule to follow, but as a relational and erotic skill that makes sex better? You can check out Nicole’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    39 min
  2. The 5 Mindsets That Help Love Last

    5D AGO

    The 5 Mindsets That Help Love Last

    Knowing someone loves you is one thing. Actually feeling that love in your body and daily life is another—and that’s where many relationships get stuck. In this episode, we move from problem to solution, exploring five research-backed mindsets that help love land and deepen real connection. I am joined once again by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How does the “Relationship Sea-Saw” explain the give-and-take of feeling loved? What does healthy self-disclosure actually look like in a relationship? How can couples sustain curiosity in long-term partnerships? How can we approach our relationships with more compassion and less scorekeeping? How can we learn to become better listeners and stop having repetitive conflicts? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Share a little extra love this February and wrap yourself—or someone you care about—in comfort that truly feels special. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    32 min
  3. Why Being Loved Doesn't Always Feel Like Love

    FEB 3

    Why Being Loved Doesn't Always Feel Like Love

    You can be deeply loved—and still not feel it. In this episode, we’re exploring the gap between being loved and feeling loved, the myths that keep love from landing, and how modern life can amplify disconnection. If you’ve ever felt unseen, insecure, or lonely inside an otherwise good relationship, this conversation will help you understand why, and what you can do about it. My guest is Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of the best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. Her latest book, co-authored with Dr. Harry Reis, is titled How To Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More Of What Matters Most. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many people struggle to feel loved, even when they clearly are? How can admiration and praise actually leave us feeling lonelier? Why does believing you have to “earn” love block you from experiencing it? What happens to our mental health, relationships, and desire when we don’t feel loved? How is modern technology undermining our sense of connection? To learn more about How to Feel Loved, click here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    29 min
  4. Letting Go Of Someone You Can't Let Go Of

    JAN 30

    Letting Go Of Someone You Can't Let Go Of

    Limerence is an intense state of romantic preoccupation where someone takes over your thoughts and emotions. It can feel exhilarating and even spark new love. But it can also become unhealthy, especially when the feelings are unrequited, inappropriate, or tied to someone who is unavailable or toxic. In this episode, we explore when limerence becomes a problem, and how to work through it. I am joined once again by Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What keeps limerence going, and what do you need to understand before breaking the cycle? How do you shift into a recovery mindset? What practices help interrupt rumination? What should you look for in a therapist if you need help working through limerence? How does living more purposefully protect against limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    36 min
  5. The Science of Romantic Obsession

    JAN 27

    The Science of Romantic Obsession

    Have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone? They’re the first thing on your mind when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep. When they text, you’re ecstatic. When they don’t, you feel deflated. That experience has a name: limerence. In this episode, we unpack what it is, where it comes from, and why the brain can become so powerfully attached to another person. My guest is Dr. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist and honorary Associate Professor at the University of Nottingham. He has published over forty scientific works on neurophysiology. He runs the popular blog Living with Limerence and is author of the new book Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is limerence different from lust and love? What happens in the brain during limerence? Why does uncertainty fuel romantic obsession? Is modern dating making limerence more common? What emotional needs or life circumstances make someone more vulnerable to limerence? You can check out Tom’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  With Erika Lust, you get more than porn. You get real intimacy. Real stories. Get 45% off all subscription plans at erikalust.com when you use the code JUSTIN.  Firmtech’s Tech Ring will help you to track your sexual health–and keep it up. Visit myfirmtech.com/justinlehmiller and use code JUSTIN15 for 15% off your purchase.  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    36 min
  6. When The Unconscious Takes Over Your Sex Life

    JAN 23

    When The Unconscious Takes Over Your Sex Life

    We often think good sex mostly comes down to physical technique. But many people feel disconnected from their bodies, stuck in their heads, or unable to access desire and pleasure. And that’s something technique alone can’t fix. Today, we’ll explore how attending to unconscious factors like shame, anxiety, and trauma can open the door to deeper pleasure. I am joined once again by Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why orgasm is more than a physical response How shame and trauma quietly shape your sex life Why “spectatoring” kills pleasure When trying to fix your partner backfires How to reconnect with your body during sex To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    31 min
  7. What’s Beneath Your Sexual Problems Might Surprise You

    JAN 20

    What’s Beneath Your Sexual Problems Might Surprise You

    When people experience sexual problems, the instinct is often to ask, “What’s wrong with me?” or “How do I fix this?” But what if those struggles are actually meaningful signals or clues that something deeper needs attention? In today’s show, we’re exploring a different way of understanding sexual difficulties: as doorways to unconscious emotional and relational truths. My guest is Juliane Maxwald, a licensed psychoanalyst, couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist based in New York City. She has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals and couples. She is the author of the new book Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy: Exploring the Unconscious Life of Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does it mean to treat sexual symptoms as a form of unconscious communication? Why is it important to get curious about the deeper issues behind sexual problems? If someone is experiencing “out of control” porn use, what might the deeper issue behind that be? What kind of emotional information do sexual fantasies carry? What does healing or recovery from a sexual problem actually look like? To learn more about Juliane’s work, visit her website and find her on Instagram @julianemaxwald. Listeners can receive 20% off her new book, Psychoanalytic Sex Therapy, via this link. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you want to make this year less about fixing yourself and more about understanding yourself, check out Beducated. Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/pd2602-lehmiller  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit vb.health to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    30 min
  8. Why Are People Into That?

    JAN 16

    Why Are People Into That?

    When people hear about certain kinks, the reaction is often one of confusion or judgment. The question that comes up again and again is, “Why would anyone be into that?” Today, we’re exploring some lesser-known and often misunderstood kinks, not to sensationalize them, but to understand the psychology behind why different people are drawn to different things. I am joined once again by Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. Gigi is an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in work with gender, sexuality, and relationship diverse clients. She is also the author of two books, with her latest being Kink Curious. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is age play, and why are some people drawn to it? What’s the psychological appeal of pet play? Where do sensory-based kinks like balloon play come from? How can we help people think about sexual diversity in a way that’s more curious than judgmental? You can check out Gigi’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Wrap the ones you love in luxury with Cozy Earth. Discover bedtime bliss with Cozy Earth’s bamboo sheet set and loungewear. Using code JUSTIN to get 40% off your purchase.  The Kinsey Institute is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. You can help continue its expert-led research by donating to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://give.myiu.org/centers-institutes/I380010749.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    30 min
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Hosts & Guests

4.6
out of 5
281 Ratings

About

The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Justin Lehmiller
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    479
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Justin J. Lehmiller. All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Sex and Psychology Podcast
  • Provider
    Justin Lehmiller

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