Sex and Psychology Podcast

Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Sex and Psychology Podcast
SEX & PSYCHOLOGY PREMIUM

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The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com

  1. Understanding Sexual Fluidity

    1D AGO

    Understanding Sexual Fluidity

    Are you attracted to different types of people than you used to be? Has there been a shift in your go-to fantasy? Do you prefer different activities in the bedroom than you did before? Human sexuality is incredibly flexible. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the subject of sexual fluidity in order to better understand how and why our sexual attractions might change over time. My guest is Mark Cusack, a sexuality and relationship coach supporting people who may have complex, fluid or undefined sexual orientation or gender. Mark’s latest book is titled Fluid: A Guide for People with Flexible Sexuality. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does it mean to be “sexually fluid?” How often do fluid people experience shifts in their sexuality? How is sexual fluidity different from bisexuality? Why are some people more likely to experience sexual fluidity than others? How is gender fluidity different from sexual fluidity? You can check out Mark’s latest book here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    41 min
  2. Rewriting Your Sexual Script

    5D AGO

    Rewriting Your Sexual Script

    When you have sex, do you kind of already know how it’s going to play out before your clothes even came off? If so, you’re not alone. Most of us follow sexual scripts that feature a predictable sequence of activities. However, these scripts can limit our opportunities for pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to rewrite your sexual script and cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life. I am joined once again by Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy private practice in Chicago. Some of the specific questions we explore include: What is a sexual script anyway, and what might a typical script look like? How do sexual scripts limit our experiences with pleasure and connection? How do sexual scripts contribute to the orgasm gap? What does it mean to rewrite your sexual script? How do you rewrite your script when you’re not entirely sure what you want? You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

    37 min
  3. 5 Questions Sex Therapists Are Constantly Asked

    MAR 18

    5 Questions Sex Therapists Are Constantly Asked

    What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? In this episode, we’re going to dive into five questions that come up over and over again. We’re also going to address when you should consider seeing out professional help for a sex problem, as well as explore a few tips for maintaining a happy, healthy, and exciting sex life. My guest is Rachel Zar, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy, a sex and relationship therapy private practice in Chicago. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What should you do if you’re having difficulty orgasming during sex? How can partners navigate wanting different amounts of sex? How do you tell your partner you want to try something new sexually? If sexual frequency declines in a relationship, does that mean there’s something wrong? How do you know if your fantasies are “normal” or not? You can check out Rachel’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

    38 min
  4. Life Is Too Short For Bad Sex (Essential Listen)

    MAR 14

    Life Is Too Short For Bad Sex (Essential Listen)

    Nothing makes us lose desire for sex faster than having bad sex. Indeed, many cases of low sexual desire are simply due to people having sex that isn’t worth having. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the three main types of bad sex, what it means to have good sex, and how to stop having bad sex. Today, we’re revisiting a fantastic conversation I had with Dr. Kelly Casperson back in episode 128. Kelly is a urologist, sex educator, author, and podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She combines education, humor, and candor in her book and podcast, both of which are titled, You Are Not Broken. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are the three main kinds of bad sex? How can we stop thinking of sex as something we’re obligated to do? Why is it bad idea to think of sex as a bargaining tool? What kind of sex should we be aiming for? How can we get closer to having good (or “good enough”) sex? You can check out Kelly’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

    43 min
  5. What It's Like To Try Sugar Dating

    MAR 11

    What It's Like To Try Sugar Dating

    Sugar dating is a type of transactional relationship in which sex and companionship are exchanged for some type of compensation. Reports suggest that there are millions of people engaging in this. In today’s show, we’re going to explore sugar dating relationships, including what draws people to it, the advantages and disadvantages of sugar dating, and who holds the power in a sugaring arrangement. I am joined once again by Kate Metcalfe, a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of Texas at Austin and a member of Dr. Cindy Meston’s Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory. Kate’s research broadly focuses on sexual agency and motivation across different contexts and life stages. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is sugar dating defined? Is it a form of sex work? Is sex always a component of sugar dating? What are sugar babies and benefactors looking for from these relationships? What are the biggest perceived benefits and drawbacks of sugar dating? Who do sugar babies and benefactors see as having more power in their relationship? You can connect with Kate on LinkedIn to stay updated on her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

    43 min
  6. Are You Having "Duty Sex?"

    MAR 7

    Are You Having "Duty Sex?"

    Think about the last few times you had sex. What was your main reason for doing it? There are myriad reasons that people report, including pleasure and horniness. However, a common motive that we don’t talk enough about is when people have sex out of a sense of duty or obligation. So let’s talk about “duty sex,” including who has it and what effects it has on people and their relationships. My guest today is Kate Metcalfe, a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of Texas at Austin and a member of Dr. Cindy Meston’s Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory. Kate’s research broadly focuses on sexual agency and motivation across different contexts and life stages. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does it mean to have “duty sex?” Who is most likely to engage in duty sex? How are sexual satisfaction and sexual pain related to duty sex? How might a history of nonconsensual sexual experiences contribute to duty sex? Is duty sex inherently bad? You can learn more about duty sex by reading Kate’s study that was recently published on the topic. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

    35 min
  7. The Biggest Change People Want In Their Sex Lives

    MAR 4

    The Biggest Change People Want In Their Sex Lives

    If you could change one thing about your sex life, what would it be? In this episode, we’re discussing the biggest changes people want to make and the new things they want to try in bed based on insights from Arya’s new study of Couples and Intimacy Trends, which included data from more than 100,000 respondents. I am joined once again by Nicholas Velotta, a PhD student at the University of Washington who researches intimate relationships and sex. He is also the head of research at the couple’s wellness platform, Arya.fyi. You can find him online at mindonlove.com. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What do people wish was different about their sex lives? Why does it seem like everyone is having less sex than they used to? What are the most common new things people want to try sexually? Why is kink becoming more popular? How can we leverage technology to improve intimacy and enhance eroticism? You can check out Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

    38 min
  8. What's Your Erotic Persona?

    FEB 28

    What's Your Erotic Persona?

    How would you describe your personality in the bedroom? What do you like to do sexually? What do you need from your partners? What turns you on? In today’s show, we’re going to explore erotic personas. New research based on a survey of more than 100,000 adults sheds light on the 4 main types of erotic personas that exist. My guest is Nicholas Velotta, a PhD student at the University of Washington who researches intimate relationships and sex. He is also the head of research at the couple’s wellness platform, Arya. You can find him online at mindonlove.com. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is an “erotic persona” similar to or different from a love language? What are the main characteristics of each erotic persona? Is it possible to have more than one erotic persona? Can our persona change over time? Why do most people end up in relationships with partners who have different erotic personas? How do you maintain sexual compatibility when you and your partner have different erotic profiles? You can check out Nicholas’ website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  While most dating apps are all about pursuing someone else, Feeld has carved out a space for you to find yourself. Explore your desires and go on a journey of self-discovery today with Feeld. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

    40 min

    Hosts & Guests

    4.6
    out of 5
    246 Ratings

    About

    The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com

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