Psychotherapist, life coach and author, Dr Joe Kort is breaking through the taboos of the most intimate of subjects, to bring leading experts together to talk all things sex and relationships.
There’s always room for improving sex and together, Joe Kort and his guests delve deeper into the most personal of human behavior, getting right under the covers to discuss the different paths we take towards pleasure. #pleasure #sex
Smart Sex, Smart Love – Episode 52 Charon Normand-Widmer on Somatic Psychotherapy and Sex Therapy
On this episode, Joe is talking about somatic psychotherapy and how it relates to sex therapy, with Licensed Master Clinical Social Worker, Charon Normand-Widmer.
Charon practices at The Center for Relationships and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. She specializes in working with individuals seeking support navigating erotic, gender and sexual identity challenges; alternative relationships; and trauma, utilizing a strengths-based, psychodynamic, mindfulness-based approach. Charon uses Somatic therapy seeks to help individuals learn to self-regulate, “I teach clients how to track their own bodies.”
But what is somatic psychotherapy? And how is this therapy helpful for couples and individuals? Charon believes that our bodies hold to the key to our mental sexual stance. “How embodied are you?” she asks. “We withhold things in our physical body. Anxiety is a body memory of a time that we felt useless. You have issues in your tissues. So, asking yourself how ‘IN’ body you are, helps those issues in the tissues!”
Smart Sex, Smart Love – Episode 51 Brian McNaught on Intimacy and LGBTQ Older Adults
On today’s show, Joe is joined by certified AASECT sexuality educator, presenter and author, Brian McNaught, to chat about Intimacy and LGBTQ older adults. Forty percent of Americans age 65 to 80 are sexually active. Before the COVID containment, sexually transmitted infections were on the rise in nursing homes. Even if they’re unable to perform sexually, most older people never lose their desire for intimacy, in whatever form it might take. “Regardless of how their bodies look on the outside, inside they feel young and want intimacy,” says Brian. Named “the godfather of gay diversity training” by The New York Times, Brian McNaught is considered one of the world’s leading corporate diversity consultants dealing with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer issues in the workplace. He is also the author of seven books on LGBT issues. When services are created for LGBTQ older adults, we think about their physical and emotional health. Does it occur to us, though, that maybe we’re failing to address a most important component of senior’s emotional health, the need to feel intimacy? “Before you help an older person out the door, let’s help someone through their door,” says Brian. “Give them their moment of bliss!”
Smart Sex, Smart Love – Episode 50 Bradley Birkholz and Jason Villarreal on ‘Side Guys’ – Gay Men Who Enjoy Sex Without Anal Penetration.
On this episode, Joe is talking about ‘Side Guys’ - Gay Men Who Enjoy Sex Without Anal Penetration with YouTuber, LGBTQ+ activist, and writer, Bradley Birkholz and Latino nurse practitioner, Jason Villarreal.
Gay men are constantly referring to and defining themselves as “tops”, “bottoms”, “Verse”, Top Verse, Bottom Verse”. When they consider dating or simply hooking up, gay men typically ask the other guy what he is, as it relates to anal sex.
Gay men are rigidly defined by penetrative sex. There’s so much talk and discussion about who gives and who receives. I’ve had straight people tell me that they assumed that most gay guys simply take turns. Yes, some do, but some don’t. But what if a guy isn’t a top, a bottom or even versatile? What about gay men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever? What if they tried it and didn’t enjoy it and never do it again?
Joe thinks they deserve a name of their own. He coined the phrase, “sides.” As Bradley says, “Love and intimacy can exist without the lens of penetration.”
Sides typically struggle with tremendous feelings of shame. They secretly believe that they should be engaging in and enjoying anal sex, and that something must be wrong with them if they are not.
It’s high time for sides to come out and feel proud and secure about their sexuality. As Jason says, “The more visibility there is for sides, the better.”
Smart sex, Smart Love – Episode 48 Michael Vigorito on Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior
"There’s no such thing as an eroticectomy! People want to be sexual, but they don’t want to feel shame about it," says this week’s guest, Michael Vigorito. "So, we (therapists) are not un-wiring the sexual gas pedal with our clients. We are working on how to manage it.”
On this episode, Joe chats about the out-of-control sexual behavior model, with licensed marriage and sex therapist, Michael Vigorito - Co-author of ‘Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Rethinking Sex Addiction.’
The truth is, that in trainings for sex addiction treatment, there lacks a mandatory sexual health and sex therapy component. Without a sexually informed model, it is easy for therapists to pathologize sexual behaviors and not provide effective treatment. The term ‘sex addiction’ is thrown around like confetti, and that needs to stop!
“We need to walk through these moments of being ‘ping-ed’ by your desire,” says Michael, and not stand in judgement of one’s sexual problematic behavior.
Smart Sex, Smart Love – Episode 49 Joe Kort on My Online Romance Fraud Hell!
Today’s episode is a topic very personal to Joe and close to his heart: Online Romance Scamming.
Millions of people turn to online dating apps or social networking sites to meet someone. But instead of finding romance, many find a scammer trying to trick them into sending money. And Joe knows, exactly how that feels, because he too is a victim of romance fraud hell!
About 10 years ago, Joe got a very curious message.
It was from a woman who said she was in love with him, or rather in love with the person who had been claiming to be Joe Kort, sending her photographs he had posted over the years, including those with his nephews and nieces (who were minors at the time). “Would you be willing to talk to me?” this woman asked. She wanted to process what had happened to her and felt a connection to me since all of the pictures of Joe were stolen from his social media accounts. Joe said he was a therapist, a happily married gay man, and would be willing to speak with her in the context of a consultation. Beyond that, she should report this scam to Facebook.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t the first time this happened. Since then Joe has been the unwitting victim of more than 100 romance identity scams!
He turned to ScamHaters United for help. And his guest today is Ruth Grover, founder of ScamHaters.
Ruth is a widow from the UK, who was a victim of online romance fraud herself, which led her to set up ScamHaters and expose these vile fraudsters. She has supported thousands of scam victims over the past eight years.
Last year, people reported losing $201 million to romance scams. People reported losing more money to romance scams in the past two years than to any other fraud reported to the FTC!
Romance scammers are cruel. For the women, the victims and the men used like Joe. Cruel especially because victims like Joe, have no choice in being used and we can do little about it….
Smart Sex, Smart Love – Episode 47 Renelle E Nelson on Infidelity & Betrayal
On this episode Joe is about Infidelity with licensed marriage & family therapist, and certified sex therapist, Renelle E Nelson.
Relationships are sometimes complicated, and finding out your partner is cheating on you can be devastating. It can feel like the relationship is over and nothing can be done to save it. The truth is, current studies show that recovery from infidelity can happen successfully, and your relationship will be better than ever on the other side.
Renelle, who works in Arizona, is an infidelity/intimacy recovery strategist, and believes we need to take responsibility for our feelings. “Often we want the person that hurt us, to heal us,” she says. “But you’re hiding in your righteousness. Couples don’t grow apart, they stop communicating. You can’t assume monogamy. Couples need to discuss what they want in their relationship, because infidelity breeds in darkness. Cheating is a choice. Never assume. Discuss!”
So, how do you deal with, and recover from infidelity? Let’s find out….
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Enjoy Smart Sex, smart love
Dr. Kort and his guests keep the conversations moving. They take topics that many might find challenging and make them engaging instead! I am a huge fan of Dr. Kort generally and this podcast specifically!
BEYOND ENLIGHTENING ... And it ain't dirty either
These podcasts are short, informative, concise, direct, open, real and true. WOWeeeee- do not let the titles fool you, confuse you or stop you. No matter what you sexual orientation or preferences are.... if you open-up your ears these podcasts will try to open-up your mind and expand your horizons and knowledge base. They will increase your personal understanding--- of something we all enjoy ..... and need in our lives --- sexual Health