Speaking of Sex with The Pleasure Mechanics

Pleasure Mechanics
  • 4.4 (388)
  • SEXUALITY
Speaking of Sex with The Pleasure Mechanics

Join The Pleasure Mechanics for explicit, honest & soulful conversations about every facet of human sexuality. Chris and Charlotte are your guides into the complex terrain of sexuality, and each episode equips you with erotic knowledge and know-how so you can experience more pleasure, joy and connection.

  1. MAR 13

    Arousal: The Dual Control Model

    In this encore episode, we share the Dual Control Model of Arousal, an essential piece of erotic knowledge to understand the complexity of turn-ons, turn-offs, and how to manage your own arousal. Explore more at PleasureMechanics.com/arousal Spotify Playlist of the Best of Speaking Of Sex Episodes Get ready to rethink everything you know about getting turned on – and what is really holding you back from enjoying more sex. Love the podcast? Ready for more? Join The Pleasure Pod & Get The Interactive Worksheet & More of the Best of Pleasure Mechanics! Developed in the 1990’s at the Kinsey Institute by Erick Janssen and John Bancroft and explored in Emily Nagoski’s book, Come As You Are, the Dual Control Model of Arousal is a framework to understand the very complicated nature of human arousal and sexual excitation. For anyone new to this theory, also check out our interviews with Emily Nagoski about the dual control model of arousal (and SO much more!) in podcast episodes 79 and 80. When you embrace the dual control model of arousal, it puts you in the driver’s seat. You can learn to manage your turn ons and turn offs to create a more arousing erotic experience every time. As Nagoski says, you can learn to “turn on your turn ons and turn off your turn offs!” Your turn ons are the gas pedal for your arousal. Your turn offs are the inhibitions that slam the brakes on your arousal. Most people focus on adding more gas – but this won’t work if your foot is slammed on the brake! Both the Sexual Excitation System (the gas) and the Sexual Inhibition System (the brakes) respond to all sensual stimuli, your thoughts, fantasies and emotions. That means essentially EVERYTHING going on in your life will influence how easy or difficult it is to get turned on. Common inhibitions include stress, resent, guilt, shame and everyday distractions like laundry in the corner. Sensitive brake, no matter how strong the accelerator, is strongest predictor of sexual problems of all kinds. Learn what your specific inhibitions are and you can more easily manage them, paving the way for more arousal and a better sexual connection. You can also learn how to avoid “arousal contingency,” a common condition where everything must be “just perfect” before you allow yourself to get aroused. Arousal contingency is a big problem for a lot of people, but it can be overcome with the right mindset. In this podcast, we share with you the dual control model of arousal and guide you in learning how to manage your sexual experience. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to arise, you can actively design your life to be more conducive to getting aroused. You can minimize distractions, eliminate active turn offs and add in more of what works for you!

    25 min

  2. JAN 6

    How To Have A Threesome Bonus Edition

    Considering having a threesome? Tune in here first! On this episode we share what we’ve learned about how to have a threesome from our recent threesome experiences, and share a classic resource from the Pleasure Mechanics archive – click here to download our book How To Have A Threesome, for free! Thanks To Our Episode Sponsor:  * Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off In 2014, we put together all of our best advice into an ebook which we called How To Have A Threesome. We self-published this resource and sold thousands of copies on Amazon and to our own community. Now, it is available for free – our gift to you. Download here.

    31 min

  3. 12/20/2024

    Bed Chem

    What does it mean to have really good bed chem? Is sexual chemistry something that happens to us, or can we learn to be erotic alchemists? What happens when good bed chem fizzles out? Join us in this episode for a provocative and engaging conversation about Bed Chem – and how we can all get more active in the lab! Thanks to our episode sponsor, SoakingWet! Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off Enroll in our free online course and get our best resources straight to your inbox. Thanks to Sabrina Carpenter’s pop anthem Bed Chem for inspiring the conversation that inspired this episode!

    25 min

  4. 12/06/2024

    Full Body Oral

    Full Body Oral is an invitation to start exploring more oral play – on EVERY part of the body! Full Body Oral is a reminder that we can create so many different sensations with our mouths, adding depth of stimulation, unlocking emotions and intimacy, and adding new dynamics to the kinds of play you already enjoy! Full Body Oral is one practice we cover in our online course on Oral – an immersive exploration of oral pleasure for all bodies (and all of our bodies!) – get 69% off the oral course here! Thanks To Our Episode Sponsor * Feeling dry or out of balance? Try Soaking Wet probiotic supplements & use the code PLEASURE for 20% off “I am writing to say an unexpected THANK YOU. When my husband told me he had enrolled us in your online Oral course, at first I was confused, because I always thought he enjoyed the blowjobs I give him. But I know he has really gotten a lot out of your podcast over the past year or two, so I thought I’d give it a try. We were both blown away by the depth and usefulness of what we found there. But the biggest surprise was the invitation into Full Body Oral – prompted by the course we started exploring using our mouths more like in general, not just for kissing and oral. And I have to say, I am amazed how much has opened up. We have both found a few places and ways of kissing one another that are like electric hot spots of arousal. I was also able to admit to some of my own “icks” and that felt like letting out a long held tension. Our oral sex has benefitted to, but what I really wanted to take the time to say thank you about is the expansive ways you approach these topics – we both send thanks for this course – it made a difference.”

    28 min

  5. 10/12/2024

    Rethinking Refractory Myths

    Let’s bust the myths around the refractory period that self-limit so many of our erotic experiences. Join us for this myth-busting episode where we cover the basics and beyond of the refractory period and all the myths about it that get in our way. Learn how: Ejaculation and Orgasm are NOT the same physiological event, and Ejaculation does NOT have to result in a refractory period! In addition, experiencing a refractory period does NOT have to be the end of that sexual encounter! Thanks To Our Episode Sponsor * JOYMODE combines 4 powerful ingredients to increase blood flow, sensation and stamina. Go to TryJoyMode.com and use the code MECHANICS for 20% off your order! * Train Your Touch & Uplevel Your Sexual Skills in our Foreplay Mastery Online Course Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Episodes: * Afterglow * Expanding Erotic Horizons

    26 min

  6. 10/04/2024

    Lasting Longer In Bed

    Want to last longer in bed so you can keep the pleasure going longer? Want to satisfy your partner and offer the kind of endurance they crave? You are not alone! We get a ton of emails from people wanting to make sex last longer and experience more satisfying intercourse. This Best Of Episode is full of strategies and techniques to support you in lasting longer in bed and having the stamina you want. * JOYMODE combines 4 powerful ingredients to increase blood flow, sensation and stamina. Go to TryJoyMode.com and use the code MECHANICS for 20% off your order! * Train your touch and level up your skills with our bestselling online course Foreplay Mastery Share your wins, aha! moments or questions for future episodes by leaving us a voicemail at PleasureMechanics.com/hello

    29 min

  7. 09/27/2024

    Building Stamina

    Here’s how to last longer, go harder and enjoy MORE of the pleasures you enjoy. Stamina is as much about sustained focus and managing distractions as it is an athletic feat, and the skills of stamina can be built with practice! This episode offers practical strategies for building your stamina for life’s greatest pleasures, in and out of bed! Big thanks to our sponsor for this episode! * JOYMODE combines 4 powerful ingredients to increase blood flow, sensation and stamina. Go to TryJoyMode.com and use the code MECHANICS for 20% off your order! Train Your Touch & Expand Your Erotic Horizons : Enroll in our online erotic touch training and master the art of foreplay! Continue The Conversation With More Speaking of Sex Episodes * Getting Off Script * Getting The Touch You Want

    26 min

  8. 09/20/2024

    Responsive Giving

    How we offer and give our time, gifts and attention matter in all of our relationships. And when we cultivate the skillset of becoming responsive givers of erotic pleasure we are able to offer our lovers more specifically what they want and enjoy and can then offer more sexually satisfying experiences to our lovers. In this podcast episode we cover what we can train ourselves to payattention to in order to become more responsive givers. And when weare receivers of pleasure, how do we practice authenticallycommunicating what feels good to us instead of exaggerating ourpleasure. This way we can give genuine information to our lovers thatallow them to be responsive to our authentic pleasure so they canlearn specifically what builds our pleasure and sexual satisfaction. However you currently experience your skillset of giving pleasure,cultivating your responsive giving skills can create more satisfyingand pleasurable experiences with your lover in bed as well as in yourother relationships outside of the bedroom. Thanks to Our Episode Sponsor: Find discounts and offers from all of our sponsors at PleasureMechanics.com/Toolbox Soaking Wet probiotic supplements use the code PLEASURE for 20% off Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Episodes * Episode 388: Before Pleasure Comes Safety

    38 min
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    Join The Pleasure Mechanics for explicit, honest & soulful conversations about every facet of human sexuality. Chris and Charlotte are your guides into the complex terrain of sexuality, and each episode equips you with erotic knowledge and know-how so you can experience more pleasure, joy and connection.

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