Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

Jay Dee - Marriage Educator
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Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

Jay Dee from the blog UncoveringIntimacy.com explores married sexuality from a Christian perspective. Each week we'll explore topics relating to married sexuality from psychology, physiology and also explore what the Bible says about sex, and how to apply that to our lives. We'll also take listener's questions and answer them with frank, but informative answers, drawing on our communities experiences through surveys when applicable. If you have a question you'd like answered on the podcast, please visit UncoveringIntimacy.com to submit your anonymous question on our Have A Question page. So, if you want a healthy, vibrant, active sex life but have questions that are holding you back, please tune in and learn about how amazing and fulfilling marriage can be.

  1. 2月16日

    SWM 147 – How do you know if you’re sexually compatible

    SWM 147 - How do you know if you're sexually compatible? Check out the blog post here for more details and links. The most common argument I hear for premarital sex is, "You need to know if you're sexually compatible before getting married. Otherwise, you might end up stuck in a sexless, unfulfilling relationship." And it sounds like sound reasoning.  We test-drive cars before buying them.  We have probation periods for people we hire at work.  We sample foods before purchasing them.  Shouldn't sex, which is one of the most intimate parts of marriage, be tested beforehand to make sure you're a good match? It's a compelling argument that convinces many people to abandon their principles.  It makes you question your morality.  It promises both immediate and long-term gratification. However, it's based on a flawed premise. Links in the episode: Becoming More Sexually Engaged (Course)The Art of Edging (eBook)Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage (podcast)National Longitudinal Lesbian Family StudyLet's talk about sex... and ADHDDeterminants of female sexual orgasmsShould Couples Live Together Before Marriage?Cohabitation Experience and Cohabitation's Association With Marital DissolutionThe Pre-engagement Cohabitation Effect: A Replication and Extension of Previous FindingsFollow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful supporters! If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference. Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

    19 分钟

  2. 1月24日

    SWM 146 – Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage – Shifting from Rules to Relationship

    SWM 146 - Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage - Shifting from Rules to Relationship. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. In my work as a marriage coach, I often see couples transition from one type of marriage to another. There’s no clear line between these states, no set of rules that definitively places someone in one category or the other. Yet, by observing how they handle conflict, express themselves, and interact in small ways, you can often tell which state their marriage is in. A big part of my job as a coach is helping people shift from one type of marriage to another as most issues in marriage are resolved by doing so. Free webinar for Christian wives - Jan 26, 8pm ESTMarriage CoachingFollow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful supporters! If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference. Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

    13 分钟

  3. 1月5日

    SWM 145 – AQ – Handjobs, sex on a full stomach, routines, sex tapes and more

    Oct, Nov, Dec 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Talking about a lack of sexNot drive due to cancer treatmentsWife doesn't want to use lubeOur sex life is routineStrap-on to help with premature ejaculationDo husbands like handjobs?Can a married couple film themselves during sex?Is sex better on a full stomach?How do you start anal sex?Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast: SWM 002 - Getting rid of veto power in the bedroom (podcast)Sexual Frequency - Why I don't worry anymore (post)SWM 125 - Rethinking duty sex (podcast)Coaching (service)My wife wants me to tie her up?! (post)BDSM Survey Results (post)Some rough sex statistics (post)The art of edging (ebook)MarriedDance.com - Hollow strap-on (toy)Where did my sex drive go? (ebook)Do Christians make sex tapes?The way to her heart? Response to romantic cues is dependent on hunger state and dieting history: An fMRI pilot study (study)Ghrelin is related to lower brain reward activation during touch (study)Becoming More Sexually Engaged - for Christian Wives (webinar)Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference! Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

    15 分钟

  4. 2024/11/15

    SWM 144 – Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it

    SWM 144 - Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life. This led into a larger discussion about why women tend to have more hangups about sex than men do.  I shared my thoughts in the forum in a bit of a rant and then realized that I don’t know if I’ve really tackled this a whole lot on the blog and podcast.  If I have, it’s been a few years, so it’s time for a refresher for the new people. So, I’m going to try and make it a little less ranty and a little more coherent and see if maybe I can teach some other wives and women out there a bit about what many men think regarding sex in the hopes that it might help some marriages, present or future. What does the Bible say about hell (and our souls)(blog post/podcast episode)Becoming More Sexually Engaged (course)Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful supporters! If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference. Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

    20 分钟

  5. 2024/10/18

    SWM 143 – Redefining sex – How to have a thriving sex life despite sexual dysfunction

    I feel like I have some explaining to do.  A couple of weeks ago, I shared that lately, Christina and I have started having sex a lot more than usual.  We had more sexual encounters last month than there were days in the month.  We’re at about 30 for this month already.  This has led to some questions by some people.  I wrote a large thread in our supporter’s forum to try and answer them all and thought it might be helpful here.  Because it goes beyond just an “ask me anything” sort of post.  It’s really about how we’ve adapted sex to deal with sexual dysfunction in a way that’s not only positive but actually ends up being more fun and connecting than I think most people’s sex lives are.I’m going to try to adapt a forum thread into a post and see how it goes.  If you want to read the original, then you have to become a supporter, and you can search for the thread called “Sex with erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation” because there’s more to the thread than this topic, but I’m just pulling out the topic I wanted to hit today in this post.To start off, we’ve dealt with some sexual dysfunction for our entire marriage.  Christina has had vaginismus (pain during penetration). I deal with erectile dysfunction most of the time and also delayed ejaculation, which means it’s hard for me to orgasm.  Christina also suffers from post-coital depression, which means after she has an orgasm, she tends to get depressed for the next day or two.As such, we’ve had to redefine sex.  Most people, I find, tend to have a fairly narrow expression of sex.  They often have the same routine – some sort of initiation, some sort of foreplay during which the wife might orgasm, then penetration until he orgasms, then they’re done.It might change a bit, but for a lot of people, that’s what sex is. When they say “sex,” they often only mean the penetrative part, and foreplay is a separate category.But what happens when penetration doesn’t happen?  What if you have ED?  What if you have vaginismus?  What if he can’t orgasm (like I can’t a third of the time) – when does it stop?  What if you’re the wife and you don’t want an orgasm first because then you get depressed/bored and aren’t really interested in continuing?  Sorry, Ian, not every wife wants to come first.These are all things we’ve had to deal with.  So, how do you still have sex with all that going on?  Well, I’ll tell you.  What counts as sex?For us, sex isn’t solely defined by penetration.  In fact, only about half of our sexual encounters include PIV sex.  Instead, we view any activity that involves arousal and g******s as part of our sexual life.  A night might only include manual sex, or it might include oral sex.  It might include blindfolds, cuffs, toys and more, and still not have any PIV sex.  We still consider it sex, though.This broader definition helps us keep intimacy alive, no matter what happens. If I can’t get hard, that’s okay because we’ve built a sexual repertoire that doesn’t require an erection.  We have many other options, even before we get to toys, which don’t come out that often anymore.When does sex end?For most couples, it seems sex ends when the husband has had an orgasm.  This is part of the reason for the “she comes first” advice we see everywhere because if she doesn’t have an orgasm first, then she might not get one at all.For us, orgasm is not the end of the fun.  It’s not even the goal.  For me, it’s often not even possible.  Delayed ejaculation can make it so that you run out of energy before you get to orgasm.  For Christina,

    10 分钟

  6. 2024/10/11

    SWM 142 – AQ – September 2024 – Exhibitionism, no sex in 4 months, rough sex and more

    August 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: ExhibitionismNo sex in 4 monthsShould I disclose previous porn struggles to fianceeOther resourcesWhat qualifies as mutual masturbationNeed rougher sex to orgasmHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Dealing with differing sex drives in marriage (page)MarriedDance.com (store)RomanticBlessings.com (store - US only)LoveHopeAdventure.com (blog)HotHolyHumorous.com (blog)Gary Thomas (substack)BDSM for ChristiansThe art of edging (ebook)BDSM survery results (post)Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference! Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

    17 分钟

  7. 2024/10/04

    SWM 141 – AQ August 2024 – Transactional sex, no sex due to birth, lube recommendations and more

    Agust 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Wife trades chores for sexHow to handle no sex due to birthWater-based lube that doesn’t cause UTIsGuy’s relationships always end in affairsPost-childbirth and penis size preferencesWife is a gatekeeperHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Sliquid H20 Lube (product)How does breast or penis size affect sex (survey)Responsive desire is a blessing (post)Desire vs willingness (post)Where did my sex drive go (ebook)Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference! Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

    19 分钟

  8. 2024/09/21

    SWM 140 – AQ – July 2024 – A wife can’t decide if she loves him, someone calls me a Pharisee, positions, outdoor sex and more

    July 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Wife’s love dependent on moodWhy don’t you direct people to God?Can’t seem to manage other positionsWife rejects exploration and being seenNervous about sex outdoorsCrossdressing rehashHere are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Responsive vs Spontaneous Desire - The Lion Within Us (podcast)Your definition of gross changes when you're arousedSWM 068 (podcast)SWM 070 (podcast)SWM 099 (podcast)Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress? (post)Healing from crossdressingFollow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference! Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

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Jay Dee from the blog UncoveringIntimacy.com explores married sexuality from a Christian perspective. Each week we'll explore topics relating to married sexuality from psychology, physiology and also explore what the Bible says about sex, and how to apply that to our lives. We'll also take listener's questions and answer them with frank, but informative answers, drawing on our communities experiences through surveys when applicable. If you have a question you'd like answered on the podcast, please visit UncoveringIntimacy.com to submit your anonymous question on our Have A Question page. So, if you want a healthy, vibrant, active sex life but have questions that are holding you back, please tune in and learn about how amazing and fulfilling marriage can be.

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