Tough Love For Men

Ryan Ginn and Luke Adler
  • 5.0 (4)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Tough Love for Men is a podcast hosted by Ryan Ginn and Luke Adler that explores modern masculinity, emotional intelligence, and conscious relationships for men who want to grow—not retreat—when life gets hard. Through honest conversations, real-life stories, and practical insights, the show helps men develop emotional maturity, relational leadership, and inner strength without losing their edge. Topics include relationships, marriage, communication, personal growth, nervous system regulation, intimacy, and what it truly means to lead with presence and integrity. Tough Love for Men is for men who are done with avoidance, defensiveness, and surface-level advice and are ready to build deeper connection, confidence, and purpose in their lives and relationships.

  1. FEB 3

    From Viciousness to Compassion: Navigating the Inner Critic

    In this episode of the Tough Love podcast, we explore the inner critic and its powerful influence on our relationships and sense of self. We discuss how this critical voice is shaped by early experiences with caregivers and rooted in a primal need for safety and belonging. When left unchecked, the inner critic can become harsh and shaming, fueling self-doubt, chronic inadequacy, and even depression. Ryan and Luke emphasize that overcoming the inner critic doesn’t mean silencing it, but meeting it with self-compassion and understanding. We explore how supportive relationships—especially men’s groups—can create the safety needed to soften shame and transform the inner critic into a more encouraging, grounded inner voice. This episode invites listeners into deeper self-awareness, connection, and the work of cultivating a more compassionate relationship with themselves.

    29 min

  2. JAN 20

    From Tantrums to Connection: Transforming Reactivity in Relationships

    In this episode of the Tough Love podcast, we explore reactivity in relationships—why it’s a natural part of being human and how it can impact connection if left unexamined. We discuss how our primitive brain and conditioning shape instinctual responses like fighting, shutting down, or withdrawing, and why normalizing reactivity is an important first step. Through personal stories—including a humorous moment with my eight-year-old daughter and a revealing dream of my own—we highlight the importance of consciously feeling and processing reactive emotions rather than acting them out in our relationships. Reactivity itself isn’t the problem; bringing it unprocessed into partnership is. We emphasize relational maturity: tending to our own inner child while staying inclusive of our partner’s experience. This can mean finding healthy outlets for big emotions, validating our inner world, and seeking support when needed. Ultimately, reactivity is a vital life force that, when worked with consciously, can deepen intimacy rather than erode it. We invite listeners—especially men—to engage this work with curiosity, courage, and community as part of the ongoing journey of love and connection. 00:00:00 - Understanding Reactivity in Relationships 00:02:00 - Normalizing Our Reactive Nature 00:04:30 - Childhood Examples of Reactivity 00:06:00 - The Importance of Acknowledging Reactivity 00:08:30 - Conscious Tantrums and Emotional Expression 00:10:00 - Navigating Inner Child Anger 00:12:00 - The Challenge of Feeling in a Body 00:14:30 - The Connection Between Reactivity and Shame 00:17:00 - The Role of Relationships in Processing Emotions 00:19:30 - Bringing Reactivity to the Surface 00:21:00 - The Importance of Articulating Feelings 00:23:00 - The Oil Spill Metaphor for Hidden Emotions 00:25:00 - Creating Intimacy Through Vulnerability 00:27:00 - The Sequence of Healing and Sharing 00:29:00 - Tough Love: Courage in Relationships 00:30:30 - The Need for Support in Emotional Work 00:31:30 - Invitation to Join the Community

    32 min

  3. JAN 6

    The Urge to Exit: Understanding Emotional Responses in Marriage

    In this episode of the Tough Love for Men podcast, we explore a common yet often unspoken reflex in relationships: the urge to leave when faced with intense emotional situations. We talk about the challenges of navigating a partner's emotional storm. Luke shares a story about an Airbnb situation gone wrong, and we discuss some of the keys to staying present when the urge to exit shows up. In This Episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Tough Love Podcast 00:00:14 - The Reflex to Leave in Relationships 00:00:58 - Normalizing the Experience of Wanting to Leave 00:02:10 - Real-Life Example: Vacation Challenges 00:04:24 - Accepting Your Partner's Emotional State 00:07:34 - Radical Acceptance and Love 00:08:42 - The Importance of Presence in Relationships 00:10:02 - Understanding Emotional Storms 00:12:13 - Navigating Emotional Experiences 00:15:25 - The Fallacy of Vacation Expectations 00:18:06 - The Challenge of Emotional Labor 00:19:10 - Recognizing Core Adaptations 00:21:25 - The Energy Preservation Instinct 00:23:17 - The Shared Human Experience 00:25:35 - Saint Mode vs. Suffer Mode 00:27:46 - Allowing Emotional Flow in Relationships 00:29:15 - The Journey of Learning and Growth 00:31:01 - Embracing Imperfection in Relationships 00:35:05 - Conclusion and Invitation to Join the Journey Want More from Tough Love for Men? Visit our website at www.beingmen.net Follow us on Instagram @toughlove.formen

    36 min

  4. 12/16/2025

    Tough Love: How to Stop Playing Defense and Lead with Heart

    In this episode, we explore what it really means to “toughen up your love.” It’s not about being harsh—it’s about leading with courage, maturity, and heart. We unpack the defensive habits men often fall into—the pleaser, the fixer, and the avoider—and how these patterns keep relationships stuck. Then, we explore what it looks like to play offense in love: showing up with emotional confidence, taking leadership in connection, and creating a relationship built on trust and co-leadership. This is the foundation of Tough Love: learning to lead with strength and vulnerability—without losing yourself in the process.

    30 min

  5. 10/31/2025

    The Ultimate Hack to Save Your Relationship!

    In this episode, we explore what truly makes a relationship work—not quick fixes, but consistent practices that build real connection. Ryan and Luke share seven core habits every couple can cultivate, from sharing new experiences and maintaining meaningful eye contact to mastering repair after conflict and keeping playfulness alive. They also discuss how structured planning and intentional communication reduce stress and strengthen partnership. These simple but powerful practices help couples stay grounded, curious, and connected—no matter how long they’ve been together. Link to Podcast on Repair 00:00:00 - Introduction: No Actual Hack, Just Real Talk 00:01:22 - Fundamental Relationship Practices 00:02:05 - Sharing Novel Experiences 00:02:38 - Quality Eye Contact 00:04:26 - Assessing Relationship Health 00:05:30 - The Importance of Repair 00:09:13 - Vulnerability in Connection 00:11:03 - Understanding Connection Beyond Positivity 00:12:48 - Navigating Resentment and Trust 00:16:09 - The Role of Play in Relationships 00:19:02 - The Power of Laughter and Lightheartedness 00:25:14 - Weekly Planning Meetings: A Structured Approach 00:28:22 - Recap of Key Fundamentals 00:29:06 - Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

    29 min

  6. 10/11/2025

    The Inevitability of Disappointment in Relationships

    In this episode, we explore one of the most challenging truths about love: at some point, you will be disappointed in your partner — and they will be disappointed in you. Drawing from personal experience and real-life examples, we unpack why disappointment is inevitable in long-term relationships and how societal pressure to maintain perfection only deepens the disconnect. We share how marriage, parenthood, and life’s demands reveal our deeper survival patterns — and how embracing these moments can lead to growth and deeper connection. We offer practical tools for navigating these seasons with resilience and tenderness, reminding us that love isn’t about avoiding hardship — it’s about learning to stay open through it. We also announce our upcoming course, Tough Love for Men, a deeper dive into building strength, empathy, and emotional awareness in relationships. 00:00:00 - Introduction to Relationship Disappointment 00:01:00 - Understanding Human Limitations 00:02:00 - The Reality of Disappointment in Relationships 00:03:30 - The Facade of Perfection 00:05:00 - The Impact of Parenthood on Relationships 00:06:30 - Facing Personal Disappointments 00:08:00 - Navigating Difficult Moments Together 00:10:00 - The Importance of Connection 00:12:00 - Choosing to Be Present 00:14:00 - The Lone Wolf Mentality 00:16:00 - Reframing Tough Love 00:18:00 - The Role of Vulnerability in Relationships 00:20:00 - Breaking Patterns of Isolation 00:22:00 - The Dance of Connection and Disconnection 00:24:00 - The Challenge of Codependence 00:26:00 - Creating a Supportive Environment 00:28:00 - Tough Love vs. Heartless Love 00:30:00 - The Guardianship of Each Other's Hearts 00:32:00 - Upcoming Course Announcement 00:34:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action

    36 min

  7. 09/22/2025

    White Knuckle Marriage: When Endurance Replaces Connection

    In this episode, we explore the idea of a “white knuckle marriage” — relationships held together by tension and control rather than true connection. Much like gripping a steering wheel too tightly, this state reflects couples enduring without emotional safety or intimacy. We discuss how traditional masculine values, like “happy wife, happy life,” often push men into silence and resignation, fueling resentment and disconnection. Without cultural guidance on empathy, boundaries, or partnership, many men end up white-knuckling through marriage. We also examine the costs — from loneliness to physical stress — and the patterns of conflict that keep couples stuck. Transformation, we argue, requires vulnerability, self-awareness, and often professional support. Drawing parallels to horse whispering, we highlight how attunement and nonverbal connection can restore intimacy. The journey isn’t easy, but with courage and guidance, couples can move from endurance to growth. Listen in as we unpack this metaphor and share resources at beingmen.net to support healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 00:00:00 - Introduction to White Knuckle Marriage 00:01:00 - The Pain of Enduring in Relationships 00:02:30 - Cultural Expectations of Masculinity 00:04:00 - Lack of Training for Men in Relationships 00:06:00 - Physiological Impacts of Tension in Relationships 00:07:30 - The Pandemic of Loneliness 00:09:00 - Creating a Life of Connection 00:10:30 - The Complexity of Intimacy 00:12:00 - The Need for Support and Education 00:13:00 - Stages of Conflict in Marriage 00:15:00 - Understanding Core Wounds in Relationships 00:16:30 - Navigating Sensitivity and Vulnerability 00:18:00 - The Importance of Transformation 00:19:30 - Personal Reflection on Marriage Challenges 00:21:00 - The Role of Nervous Systems in Relationships 00:23:00 - The Process of Compassionate Connection 00:25:00 - The Challenge of Emotional Growth 00:27:00 - The Role of Guided Support in Transformation 00:29:00 - Equine Therapy as a Metaphor for Connection 00:32:00 - Conclusion and Upcoming Events

    33 min

  8. 08/20/2025

    Is It Me or Her? Understanding Relationship Dynamics

    In this episode of The Crux, we tackle the question many couples face: “Is it me or her?” Often asked after years of conflict and disconnection, this question points to deeper relational patterns like the avoider–chaser dynamic. We explore a three-step process for resetting relationships: Reset Yourself — Prioritize self-care, sleep, nutrition, and emotional well-being.Support Your Partner — Once grounded, help create a shared environment of healing.Seek Quality Therapy — Invest in structured couples work, ideally with approaches like PACT, to repair and rebuild connection.Along the way, we discuss how past trauma, unresolved hurts, and cultural conditioning affect intimacy—and how love can be reignited with commitment and care. If you’ve wondered whether your relationship can recover, this episode offers both guidance and hope. 00:00:00 - Introduction to Relationship Questions Exploring the common question: "Is it me or her?" and the context of relationship struggles. 00:01:44 - Understanding Well-Being Issues Discussing the importance of individual well-being in relationships and the impact of physical health on emotional connection. 00:03:36 - Resetting Your Own Physiology The necessity of personal responsibility and self-care as a foundation for relationship improvement. 00:08:38 - Assessing Your Partner's Well-Being The importance of ensuring both partners are resourced and healthy before diving into relationship work. 00:09:12 - Engaging in Couples Therapy Recommendations for finding effective couples therapy and the value of investing in quality support. 00:10:34 - The Cost of Therapy vs. Divorce Highlighting the financial implications of therapy compared to the costs associated with divorce. 00:12:34 - Reigniting the Relationship Fire Discussing the need to rekindle the emotional connection that initially brought partners together. 00:15:10 - Addressing Resentment and Hurt Understanding how past wounds affect current relationship dynamics and the importance of healing. 00:18:04 - The Process of Repair Outlining the steps necessary for repairing a relationship and the importance of expert guidance. 00:24:22 - Recap of the Three-Step Process Summarizing the steps for resetting a relationship: individual reset, partner support, and couples work. 00:26:09 - Conclusion and Encouragement Encouraging listeners to embrace the challenging yet rewarding journey of relationship improvement.

    27 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Tough Love for Men is a podcast hosted by Ryan Ginn and Luke Adler that explores modern masculinity, emotional intelligence, and conscious relationships for men who want to grow—not retreat—when life gets hard. Through honest conversations, real-life stories, and practical insights, the show helps men develop emotional maturity, relational leadership, and inner strength without losing their edge. Topics include relationships, marriage, communication, personal growth, nervous system regulation, intimacy, and what it truly means to lead with presence and integrity. Tough Love for Men is for men who are done with avoidance, defensiveness, and surface-level advice and are ready to build deeper connection, confidence, and purpose in their lives and relationships.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan Ginn and Luke Adler
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    38
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Show Website
    Tough Love For Men