The Obey House Classic Loose Cannon Comedy

Warm up those wrists! This… is the 25th annual Obey House Classic Rock Paper Scissors Tournament! Always-professional amateur commentators Mike DiGuglielmo and Adam Prevade are on hand to call all of the exciting action (through previously-recorded audio), as they tell you just who is doing which of three distinct actions with their hands. A field of eight Obey House Tavern regulars vie for a chance to face the reigning RPS champion Kathy in a fierce battle of finger gestures for all the marbles. Referee Mike and Scorekeeper Mark officiate this spectacle in front of a crowd so large, you can hear each of them speak individually during gameplay. Don’t miss a second of our coverage of the Great American Pastime, Rock Paper Scissors in a dive bar!

It's all come down to this— probable winners Laverne and Brian of Team Oh S**t (Celery) square off with the post-pubescent upstarts Anne and Quinn of Team Quanne. In-over-their-heads commentators Mike and Adam have gotten drunk, sobered up, and gotten drunk again while talking about a dumb video game. They're once again joined in the booth by all-around good sport Brandon Johnson. Brian and Mike continue to not get along. Anne yawns. Quinn hijacks a microphone.

This godforsaken tournament is almost over as The Wii Splitters clash with Team Quanne in the last semifinals matchup. Delirious commentators Mike and Adam are once again joined in the booth by infamous 14-time Wii Bowling loser and known cheat Brandon Johnson. Sideline reporter Jonathan DeCarlo has to leave before public transportation shuts down for the night.

Commentators Mike and Adam are six beers deep into the 83rd Annual Obey House Classic Wii Bowling Tournament as Team Tojo and Team Oh S**t (Celery) usher in the semifinals. Some and/or most of the competitors get a bit testy as the tournament rolls past midnight. Brian gets a turkey and yells at Mike. In return, Mike yells at Brian.

Strap in for the last quarterfinals matchup of the 2018 Obey House Classic Wii Bowling Tournament, as Anne and Quinn of Team Quanne lock horns with Lavern & Brian of Team Oh S**t (Celery). Progressively-more-drunk commentators Mike and Adam are joined in the booth by Obey House Tavern owner and tournament founder Mark Cupp, who wanders off after a few minutes. Sideline reporter Jonathan DeCarlo steps in to fill time.

The quarterfinals of the 83rd Annual Obey House Classic Wii Bowling Tournament rage on as the reefer-loving Wii Splitters, Molly and Karl, go head-to-head with the reefer-adverse Bailey's Bombers, Beth and Hutch. Your always-professional commentators Mike and Adam are joined in the booth by first-time digital bowler Anne Casper who talks about her favorite soup. Sideline reporter Jonathan DeCarlo asks the winning team about beef stroganoff.