The Porch with Lindsay Boccardo Lindsay Boccardo

We had Forbes' top-rated speaker Jess Ekstrom on The Porch to talk about speaking with confidence and using your story to make a difference. There is so much great advice in here for speakers.

Here are just some of the tips she shared:

1. A good story has a Premise and Promise. Your Premise is your story. The Promise is the takeaway for the audience. The lessons you’ve learned shared in your premise can apply to everyone through a promise.


2. The best speakers have a curious mindset and are learners, not just tellers.


3. You don’t have to be the expert on the stage to be credible. Simply being ahead of the game compared to your audience, having an interesting story, and a relatable message is enough to provide value and influence to your audience.


4. You decide what your “success currency” is for yourself. It won’t be the same for everyone and the freedom is letting go of the expectations of others with different currency expectations compared to you.

There are so many ways to stay in Jess' world in real life. Her weekly hype texts (which I receive and LOVE), her Mic Drop Workshop, TikTok, LinkedIn... stay connected so you can borrow her courage!



You can find Jess here ⬇️
LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-ekstrom-speaker-author/

Website: https://micdropworkshop.com/
Sign up for her weekly hype text: 704-228-9495 - text the word: HYPE

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsayboccardo/
Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com

This month, I came on the Porch solo to talk about my experience as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

There were several reasons we held a special Porch session:
1. Representation. There were folks on the call from all different backgrounds. I work with many leaders who are working hard to understand someone different than them. I also know many folks who are closeted for fear of losing their job, their stability, and their community. I did this to create a safe place for those that have known me for years.

2. To talk about implicit bias and learn about how the brain categorizes information naturally. We really can't stop how our brain categorizes information but we can choose how we interpret it!

3. To give some direction for how business and non-profit leaders can be more supportive of their LGBTQIA+ teammates.

If you are looking for ways to support your LGBTQIA colleagues, here are some starting points:

1. Spend quality time with LGBTIA+ folks and show up to events that are designed to celebrate them. It shows us that you’re safe and you care about our well-being.
2. Know that actions speak loudly. If you put a pride flag pin on your jacket, we notice it. You are sending us a clear signal that you get it.
3. Be mindful of the language used when talking about families, whether you are speaking to adults or children. Many folks do not live with their mom and dad in the same houses. This could be from divorce or death, or maybe there wasn't a mom and dad to begin with. Using language about "moms and dads" makes it hard for many people to feel like they belong.
4. Establish an employee resource group. There is power in numbers and representation matters! Find a champion in a senior leadership position to give the group a voice. You can find more information about that here: https://www.hrc.org/resources/establishing-an-employee-resource-group


Know that your words and actions matter. Teens are at risk and are watching the way we speak and act around LGBTQIA issues.

There is plenty of research available but two important sites I'd like to highlight:

1. LGBTQ Youth are more likely to be bullied at school:
https://www.hrc.org/news/new-cdc-data-shows-lgbtq-youth-are-more-likely-to-be-bullied-than-straight-cisgender-youth

2. LGBTQ Youth are more likely to attempt suicide:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/


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Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com

We had bestselling author Mark C. Crowley on The Porch to talk about what it looks like to Lead From The Heart.

Warning: Do not be confused by the word "heart". This is not a fluffy interview full of cozy stories. Mark brings research and years of leadership experience to the table to tell us the biological NEED for us to change the way we lead others.

Here's some of what we covered:
- We need to ask ourselves if we are willing to make life better for those we lead or if we want folks to experience the same hardship we did.
-Human beings are hardwired to reciprocate - if you treat them well they want to treat you well. But it has to be genuine care and not a quid pro quo expectation.
-We have to practice boundaries, not just talk about them. Consider those after-hours emails and texts that ruin your teammate's time away from the office. (It doesn't matter if you say "don't worry about it until Monday" it was still sent...)
-Do a gut check on why you're talking about well-being at work. Is it a means to get more productivity out of employees? This is not helpful. Employees know when it's not genuine. The heart tells us.
-We now know that the heart is not just a pump. It's the core of our humanity. It's sending information even ahead of what the brain is able to process.
-The heart is connected to EVERYTHING, without it, everything else does not work.

The future of leadership is not just an intellectual exercise, it's a spiritual and emotional one. We must align ourselves with human nature as we lead into the future.

You can find Mark here ⬇️
LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markccrow...
Website: https://markccrowley.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Lead-Heart-Tra...

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsaybo...
Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com

We had Alison Martin, Founder, and Managing Director of Engage Mentoring on The Porch. She joined us to talk about the serious need for mentorships in all sizes and types of organizations. Did you know that by 2030 boomers will have reached retirement age? That means companies need to start thinking about the transfer of knowledge of their senior leaders NOW to ensure future success.   

Mentoring isn’t a “nice to have” it’s a highly strategic "need to have", and Alison shared quite a few reasons why:  

1. Everyone needs to grow regardless of tenure and experience. The core of mentorship is the successful transfer of knowledge. That can occur at all levels and through all levels - it doesn’t have to be only top-down mentorship.  

2. Mentorship training = Emotional intelligence training. When you teach people the specific skills of mentorship, the byproduct is transforming the culture. Not only are the mentees transformed but so are the mentors. This is because they are learning how to listen, how to support, and how to continue to develop their own communication skills as well.  

3. Custom growth paths for each person. Every organization has different developmental needs - mentoring is the only program that meets people where they are and lets them take charge of their own developmental plan.  

4. Inclusion and belonging. A formalized mentoring program ensures that diverse employees (ethnicity, gender, background, etc.) aren’t passed over simply because senior leaders tend to pick mentees that they have the most in common with. This is how we raise minority voices. 

You can find Alison here ⬇️ 

LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alison-martin-she-her-7347319/

Website: https://engagementoring.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Lead-Through-Mentoring-Relationships/dp/1530346584

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsayboccardo/

Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com

We had Kristin Fuller on The Porch to talk about taking a sabbatical. No, not a yearlong vacation in Europe (although, that could work for some!) For Kristin, it was a set-aside time full of rest, learning, and quieting the noise of life to recover parts of herself.  

Here are some tips she gave us on creating a sabbatical for yourself:  

-Financial: Start small by figuring out the actual monthly amount of income you need to live. Consider living below your means to give yourself some wiggle room and come up with a game plan so you can do this without considerable stress and anxiety.  

-Focus: It can be easy to just want to take a long vacation and not strategically make purpose out of your extended time off. Instead, identify your needs for your sabbatical first by prioritizing the things you need to restore the parts of your lost self.  

-Listen: Even in the self-care world, we can be distracted from what we actually need!  You’re the only one that knows your deepest desires and needs. Create the space to get rid of the noise so you can hear your inner voice again. It’s not that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you can’t hear yourself.   

You can find Kristin here ⬇️ LI Link: 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristinefuller/

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🌏 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsayboccardo/

Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com

We had Ann Betz, an expert on the intersection of neuroscience, coaching, and relational trauma on The Porch. She joined us to talk about recognizing toxic traits in the workplace and what to do about it. So many of our guests felt seen and heard by what she shared, one attendee even called it “balm for the soul”.

This is one of those conversations that can permanently change your perspective on toxicity in the workplace. If you don't have time to listen to the whole thing, here are some major key points:

1. It's the good, flexible, hard-working, intelligent souls that get worn to the bone by toxic relationships. In fact, having high empathy can make you a target for narcissism.

2. The FIRST sign of a toxic relationship is surprising because it feels good. It's called LOVE BOMBING and it's the initiation into a toxic dynamic. If someone is admiring you, lavishing praise on you, idealizing you, and it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!

The irony is after being LOVE BOMBED for weeks or months, the individual is quickly DEVALUED and DISCARDED. All of a sudden, you aren't being asked to those meetings, and you aren't asked for your input. You may even feel accused of things you haven't done.

This roller coaster of admiration and then accusation can be very disorienting. The individual with "super traits" like extremely high empathy will give more to try to fix this pattern. The average person won't tolerate and flex that far and will leave before the dynamic continues further.

3. One of the best things you can do is listen to your body after you leave a meeting. Your body is telling you the truth. If it seems too good to be true, or you feel very disoriented, this is a sign that you are walking into a toxic situation.

4. If you recognize that you are in a toxic dynamic, don’t engage. You will not win. Do whatever it takes to get away (yes this may mean quitting your job). Ann said it best: "don’t wrestle with a pig in the mud. You’ll get dirty and the pig likes it..."

Want to learn more about toxic relationship patterns? 

Video - Explaining Narcissism to others using the CRAVED Method- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4ypZnVF03M&t=0s

Book - Dying for a Paycheck - https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Paycheck-Management-Employee-Performance/dp/0062800922

Webinar Series - Narcissism at Work - https://www.google.com/url?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.beaboveleadership.com%2Fwebinar-narcissim-at-work%2F&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1673466459561065&usg=AOvVaw2kZeanDgbw5hIIeIbGD6Nx



You can find Ann here ⬇️

LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ann-betz-a6b31018/

Website: https://www.beaboveleadership.com/



KEEP IN TOUCH 🌏

LinkedIn: https: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsayboccardo/

Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com