The Therapy Gents Michael Medley, LPC & Andy Newman, LAC

Seneca - “It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It is because we dare not venture that they are difficult.”


“There is no growth in the comfort zone, and there is no comfort in the growth zone.” 


Safety ➡️➡️➡️ Challenge ➡️➡️➡️ Overwhelmed ⤵️
   ⬆️⬅️⬅️⬅️⬅️⬅️⬅️⬅️


What is anxiety? 
Defined by Dictionary.com - “1.distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune. 2.earnest but tense desire. 3. A state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder.”


What is depression?
Defined by Dictionary.com - “a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason. Dullness or inactivity


How can we properly calculate what is a healthy ‘challenge’ or risk to take? 


What happens when the ‘challenge’ causes me to be ‘overwhelmed’?


How can I learn to ask for help?  - Set a goal to accept any help that is offered for a day, a week, a month, or longer. Notice areas you can already ask for help and then compare it to areas you struggle asking for help, what is the difference between them?


List of common Cognitive Distortions and discussion on how they hold us back in safety. 

Ep. 051 Self-Compassion


Self-Compassion = Way of relating to the self kindly and accepting who we are and how we are. The 3 elements of Self-Compassion are: 1. Kindness; 2. Common Humanity; and 3. Mindfulness. In other words - It is a loving, connected presence with self. 


Self-Esteem = Global evaluation of self, increases the thought or belief that I have to be special, research has shown a strong correlation to the increase of narcissism since self-esteem movement started, perfectionism, inadequacy, and it is contingent on success.


Self-Kindness vs Self-JudgmentCommon Humanity vs IsolationMindfulness vs Over-identification

Physiological effects of self-criticism - triggers the sympathetic nervous system (Fight or Flight) response, you are the attacker and the attacked at the same time. 


Self-pity is the enemy of Self-Compassion


Connection with self and others activates the parasympathetic nervous system (Rest and Digest)


Self-Compassion has very few pitfalls in its practice. There are no comparisons, no association to narcissism or perfectionism. 


Christopher Germer - “Love reveals everything unlike itself” 
This is why it is common that people will think they are doing it “wrong” because as they begin to be self-compassionate they often feel opposite. 


Carl Jung - “Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.”
Eckhart Tolle - “Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.”










Exercise 2: Self-Compassion Break
Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. Call the situation to mind, and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.
Now, say to yourself:
1. This is a moment of suffering
That’s mindfulness. Other options include:
This hurts.Ouch.This is stress.2. Suffering is a part of life
That’s common humanity. Other options include:
Other people feel this way.I’m not alone.We all struggle in our lives.Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.
Say to yourself:
3. May I be kind to myself
You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:
May I give myself the compassion that I needMay I learn to accept myself as I amMay I forgive myselfMay I be strong.May I be patient

What keeps people stuck in a job they don't like?Is it the job or is it me? - Dealing with situational mental health Turning Self-sabotage into Self-promotion.The following is a short list of things that can keep us stuck or trapped in a position we do not want to be in: fear of rejection, self-doubt, perfectionism, perceived lack of opportunities, loyalty to company or boss, fear of the unknown, financial stability (or at least you know what you make), lack of confidence, external pressures, family, negative views about change, the company offers insurance, impostor syndrome, no goals or aspirations (no clear aim to improve oneself), risk aversions, isolation from those who could help you progress, no good mentorship or leader to look up to
What can I do to prepare for a job change?How does someone ask for a promotion?

Today's episode features several questions from all of you! Michael and Andy both gathered questions on social media to do a mental health Q&A. If you would like to toss a question into the mix for our next Q&A episode, feel free to email them to actioncounseling@gmail.com

In today's episode Michael and Andy break down some dating advise! First date advise, red flags, goals to consider and more. Dating can be daunting and finding a balance between putting your best foot forward and being yourself can be difficult but we're here help!

In this episode Michael talks about how the traumatic things of our past does not need to determine our future. Michael makes some references to the book series "Fablehaven" and also a slogan from the book "1984" which read (and was paraphrased in the podcast) "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past."

Michael also explores how to address the different parts of ourself to heal from the past so that the past does not control the future.