There's Nothing Wrong With You Unconventional Minds LLC

This episode includes a conversation between TNWWY’s host, Samantha Cooper, and their guest, Lindsay Tauscher, on the concept of Chosen Family, which is a term used to describe close, committed relationships that are not based on biological or legal (“bio-legal”) ties.  In this discussion, they explain ways that Chosen Family can provide support and enrichment that may not be available from or with your “nuclear family” or “family of origin.”
Sam and Lindsay share how they met and became close friends, and how their relationship exemplifies the value of Chosen Family. They also talk about how Chosen Family can be a subversive force against norms and expectations associated with the nuclear family. 

“...a chosen family is made up of people who have intentionally chosen to embrace, nurture, love, and support each other regardless of blood or marriage.” - Bahiyyah Maroon, Ph.D.

The term Chosen Family is often used in queer communities to refer to the people who have intentionally chosen to support and love each other, regardless of bio-legal ties (such as biological relation, adoption, and marriage) This term originated during the climax of the AIDS crisis in the United States when many queer people could not rely on their families of origin for even the most basic forms of support. Today, Chosen Family is still a significant part of queer culture, as it provides a sense of support and community for those who may not have that depth of connection with their families of origin.

Relevant episode timestamps:
1:47 - Chosen Family: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Relationships Outside of Family of Origin
5:26 - The History and origins of "Chosen Family"
9:31 - Chosen Family structure
15:42 - The Nuclear Family Structure: A History
22:12 - The Negative Impact of the Nuclear Family on Individual and Community Wellbeing
28:26 - The Importance of Community Rituals and Practices 
31:13 - The Relationship Between Chosen Family and Family of Origin
38:55 - The Benefits of Non-Monogamy for Building Stronger Relationships
42:25 - How to Celebrate the Holidays as a Non-Monogamous or Polyamorous Person
49:06 – Incorporating Your Chosen Family into Holidays AND throughout the rest of the year
51:56 - Lindsay and Sam wrap up a conversation – you are not alone


Episode Resources:
Families we Choose: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship by Kath Weston: https://a.co/d/1pDwBWD
“We Just Take Care of Each Other”: Navigating ‘Chosen Family’ in the context of Health, Illness, and the Mutual Provisions of Care amongst Queer and Transgender Adults: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33050069/

Homelessness Among LGBT Adults in the US: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/lgbt-homelessness-us/ 

What Chosen Family means, and how to build your own: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/what-is-resilience 


Follow Lindsay:
Lindsay Tauscher, Somatic Resilience Coach: https://workwithlindsay.com/
Instagram: a href="https://www.instagram.com/workwithlindsay/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

This episode includes a conversation between TNWY’s host, Samantha Cooper, and their guest, Lindsay Tauscher, about navigating challenges with one’s "family of origin" (a term that refers to the family in which you were raised) during the holiday season, including estrangement, conflict, and boundaries. Sam interviews Lindsay, and both share their personal stories and experiences with parental estrangement. The conversation includes some guidance, support, and practical suggestions for listeners for navigating family challenges during the Holidays (and more generally). 
Lindsay (she/they) is a trauma-informed Somatic Resilience Coach and one of Sam’s dearest friends. Lindsay is a coach who works with queer, gender-expansive, and neurodivergent leaders and visionaries. Throughout this conversation, they talk about the importance of authenticity in connecting with others and connecting with yourself during this (sometimes) challenging season.
In the second (solo) segment of this episode, Sam 1) briefly covers some research about family estrangement experiences and stats, and 2) offers practical suggestions for how to make things easier for yourself at this time of year, whether or not you are actively in a relationship with your family of origin, and whether or not you are spending time with them during the holiday season.
Episode timestamp guide:
00:00-03:37: Intro to episode topics, structure, & guest bio (with a content note)
PART 1: INTERVIEW & CONVERSATION
03:38-07:15: Sam and Lindsay kick off the conversation
07:16-10:28: Discussion of personal stories of family estrangement; intersections with the Holidays; and the unexpected positive, generative results of estrangement.
23:20-40:24: Ways “tradition” and “obligation” can be used to disguise and protect troubling patterns within family systems; disrupting unhealthy patterns with boundaries; differentiating between rules and boundaries, and natural consequences and punishments.
PART 2: SOLO SEGMENT w/SAM
48:18: Sam discusses some research about family estrangement stats and experiences (note that the Pillemer survey is part of a family reconciliation project at Cornell University).
53:30: Practical suggestions for how to care for yourself during the Holidays if you have a challenging relationship with your family of origin and spend the Holidays with them.
58:03: Practical suggestions for how to care for yourself during the Holidays if you are not spending time with the family of origin (due to estrangement or otherwise).

Episode Resources:
8 things not to say to someone estranged from a parent: What people with great or good-enough parents need to know about listening.Pillemer: Family estrangement a problem ‘hiding in plain sight’ (Cornell Chronicle)Fault Lines by Karl Pillemer (associated with the Cornell Family Reconciliation Project)

Follow Sam (host):
unconventionalmindscoaching.com
Instagram @unconventionalmindsadhd | twitter @neuroresilient

Follow Lindsay (guest):
a...

Personal growth has become yet another set of ‘rules’ for people to follow.  And if you don’t follow the rules, you are sometimes led onto the path that there is something wrong with you.  Sam includes themself in this group of people and talks about the idea of personal growth and self-improvement and explains why and how these efforts should be focused on personal liberation. They define personal liberation as a process of examining one's thoughts, actions, and beliefs to see if they are in line with one's own values or if they are based on oppressive societal structures. They give examples of how personal growth and self-improvement can be used to uphold oppressive norms if they are not done with the goal of personal liberation in mind.
Personal growth and self-improvement are often framed as overcoming negative behaviors and traits without acknowledging that these behaviors are often developed as a coping mechanism to difficult life circumstances.  Sam discusses how these concepts are often misunderstood and how better understanding them can help us developer greater self-compassion.
Follow Sam:
Unconventional Minds Coaching: unconventionalmindscoaching.com
Instagram @unconventionalmindsadhd 
Twitter @neuroresilient 
 
 
*Produced by KP Creative Media

Let’s take a look at reframing and redefining self-trust.  Our current concept of self-trust is often used against neurodivergent adults. Instead of benefitting them to cultivate a sense of self-kindness and inner safety, they often feel challenged by social ‘norms.’  This is especially unhelpful in difficult situations or in distress.  It’s time to disrupt the cycle of blame and shame and take action that shows care and concern for oneself.
Sam weaves a story of their recent adventure back into rollerblading, talking about how reaching out to relearn and be kind to oneself has brought about a better and more enjoyable experience.  This shows that sometimes your inner critic can be harsh and misguided.  It’s time to quiet the voice while acknowledging its intentions.
 
Follow Sam:
Unconventional Minds Coaching: unconventionalmindscoaching.com
Instagram @unconventionalmindsadhd 
Twitter @neuroresilient 
*Produced by KP Creative Media

Welcome to there's nothing wrong with you. This is a podcast about personal and collective liberation, where we ask powerful questions and have dynamic conversations about what it means to be fully human. If you've often asked yourself the question what's wrong with me, then this podcast is made for you.
The name of this podcast is there's nothing wrong with you because it's the foundational principle upon which all of our conversations are based. You're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. You are not bad. You do not need to be perfect. In fact, you need to be imperfect. You need to be fully alive and fully human by accepting this foundational principle as truth.
We free ourselves to formulate more useful, powerful questions and explore the conversations that take us on a journey toward meaningful change. Our conversations, aim to challenge, normative beliefs, frameworks, and approaches, and unpack and unlearn, internalize stigma. We're going to explore the boundaries and limitations of self-help and self-improvement in general highlighting where those efforts.

Start to shift from helpful to harmful. We'll move beyond blame and shame and learn how to accept and embrace our full humanity and the entire spectrum of our human experiences. You might be wondering whether there's nothing wrong with you actually applies to you specifically. So I'm gonna nip that in the bud right now.

The answer is almost certainly yes, it applies to. It applies to humans who have done something wrong or harmful in their lives, which is, uh, everyone to people who struggle day to day with their health and wellbeing. And to those of us who might feel broken or spend a lot of our lives feeling that way, this principle applies to those of us who are disabled.

It applies to humans who have experienced or are experiencing illness, disease, and trauma. Addiction and, or some type of dysfunction. This principle applies, regardless of whether someone has received a dozen or more diagnoses or has never received a diagnosis of anything. My name is Samantha Cooper.

Although most people in my life call me Sam, I'm a professional coach while I'm trained as an ADHD coach, my training enables me also to work as a general life coach. I've run my own coaching practice, which is called unconventional minds coaching for the past several years prior to going through my intensive coach training and opening my own practice.

I had a very career in international development and public health and epidemiology. Although I welded, I held a wide variety of jobs outside those industries as. As a coach, I focus on working with neurodivergent adults, which in the context of my work means adults who suspect or know that they have ADHD and or that they're autistic.

In addition to being neurodivergent, my clients usually have multiple co-occurring mental and physical conditions tend to have lifestyles and life experiences, and identities that many people would consider to be unconventional or outside the. Usually, my clients have figured out that they are neurodivergent relatively late in life, often well into adulthood.

Sometimes they're still figuring it out. Sometimes they were diagnosed during childhood, but didn't receive any support at that time and didn't know how to seek it out. Until later in life, I work with my clients to lower their stress levels, expand their capacity and dramatically increase their sense of well-being and quality of.

Generation-wise, I'm an elder millennial, although I've always had friends and loved ones across multiple generations. I'm non-binary in terms of my gender and my pronouns. Are they them? I identify as queer and orientation and fem in terms of self-expression or presentation while my location is subject to change.

I'm currently based in New York City. I myself have