41 episodes

Topic Lords, the only place on the Internet where you can hear topics discussed!

Topic Lords Jim Stormdancer

    • Comedy
    • 5.0, 9 Ratings

Topic Lords, the only place on the Internet where you can hear topics discussed!

    Non-Euclidean Christianity

    Non-Euclidean Christianity

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    Ryan is @RyanIkeComposer on Twitter and @RyanIkeAudio on Instagram and is probably not working on Skyrim 2?
    Tyriq is FourbitFriday everywhere and really wants to finish Catacomb Kids.



    What's a fandom you're not a part of, but kind of wish you were?
    Pointless Automatons


    Please help reconstruct this lost pun: "vegan jazz standards" with nutritional yeast
    Mallow asks: "how do you grapple with / think about your legacy? (things that sprang to mind included the relevant timeframe, obligations to the future, how/what people inherit from their ancestors, and how (self-)censorship is a way to cut off a legacy)"
    Consistency of idiolect

    Disfluencies providing value to the listener: http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000300.html

    How can we appeal to Gen Z so when they take over we aren't executed along with the Boomers?


    Clapping just because it's fun.
    A trainwreck of three people talking over each other.
    Being in a corridor and punching a weird alien.
    Topic thirst.
    Pokemon Snap making you even more of a pariah, if that's even possible.
    Throwing apples at a Snorlax until it wakes up, like the s****y kid at the zoo.
    A reverse body snatcher situation, where you're the only alien walking around in a skin suit.
    Enjoying a game more if it doesn't involve collecting things.
    Going to a free R&B concert every Sunday.
    Going to a white small town Lutheran church which was boring and lame.
    The organ coming in for particularly high-energy moments.
    Somebody telling you that you are inches away from going to hell in the same basement that they just had an alcoholics anonymous meeting four seconds ago.
    Having to worry about all your atheist friends going to hell.
    Non-Euclidean Christianity.
    Refusing to put anything in your ears to make the music be less music and going deaf for three days.
    Big moving contraptions that resemble some sort of life form made out of shafts of PVC that wander along the beaches.
    Having no purpose other than to exist.
    Having made so many things extinct that you feel obligated to fill the ecosystem with weird new robots.
    Sentient scooters running wild in New York City.
    An adorable robot that can only roll forward and relies on passers-by to navigate.
    Automations existing wholly outside of the human sphere.
    A battlebot that got loose in the forest, a ramp rolling around the forest floor flipping over pinecones.
    Wanting to believe that battlebots are real so badly that you forget that they have RC drivers.
    A robot with a nuke or at least a flail.
    A village of Rube Goldberg machines triggering each other forever.
    Listing jazz standards except replacing one of the words in each title with "nooch."
    One of those jokes that you construct for 17 people to get, but those 17 people really appreciate it.
    Slipping in the shower and the last thought in your head before you die is the game of the jazz standard that makes the best nooch pun.
    Not being sure whether an answer to your question is possible but proceeding under the assumption that it is.
    Not allowing yourself to die until you know the answer.
    Carrying around the answer to your life's question in your wallet so whenever you're ready to die you can read it and the paramedics will find you crumpled on the floor holding a note that just says "The Girl From Ipanoocha."
    Just wanting to be a person who has a finished game.
    Being driven to finish your current project so you can start the next one.
    Realizing that just because you made a promise to finish one project, you're allowed to do other things too.
    The projects that anyone can come in and finish vs. the projects t

    • 1 hr 10 min
    I'll Show Them... I'll Invent Superman!

    I'll Show Them... I'll Invent Superman!

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    Biker Chicks Tier List. https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1591151119




    Canadian Heritage Minutes

    YouTube playlist of Heritage Minutes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCWANopglXI&list=PL1848FF9428CA9A4A
    List of Heritage Minutes on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritage_Minutes

    What are your tips for collaborating with people with a higher or lower skill level than you?
    Are we allowed to talk yet about how for decades all 3D games were incredibly ugly


    The website I build in high school & college is lost to the ages, or: how to reconstruct memories of your past without external records
    The lost Willie Brown records

    Willie Brown - Future Blues: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An9rC8olaVY
    "Grandma Blues" cover (prank?): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F9xhKLJbXs
    PBS History Detectives episode about Paramount Records: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKQbZV4lQk4


    Being a playable character in Frog Fractions 2.
    Ranking every Biker Chick from worst to best.
    Regretting not having more Canadian Lords on the show.
    Still making your TV PSAs even though nobody watches TV any more.
    The big robotic articulating arm on the space shuttles.
    That time Quebec was going to quit Canada.
    A group shot with one teen of every ethnicity and gender configuration.
    Reenacting the time someone told the creator of Superman that nobody will care about Superman.
    Canada's revolting safety PSAs.
    Hanging maple syrup for treason.
    The biggest man-made explosion prior to the invention of nuclear weapons.
    Celebrating the people who people who became successful after leaving your country.
    Trading on the low-key anti-Americanism that is part of the Canadian national identity.
    Taking a 45 minute break to worship the military.
    Deciding that an idea is important and jamming it into the brain of millions of people.
    Doing your best to enjoy yourself even though you are the worst musician at this particular jam session.
    The high pressure world of game jamming.
    The anxiety of waiting to be picked for a sports team.
    Trusting your collaborators.
    Not being a mentor so much as a friend who is around to answer questions.
    Feeling like you failed your tutoring student but he was pleased and passed his course, so probably it was fine.
    The ongoing war between R programmers and Python programmers.
    Making your favorite programming language tolerable by totally replacing the syntax.
    The smoke effect in Super Mario 64 looking like the MS Paint graffiti tool.
    Goldeneye slappy hands.
    The difficulty of going back to the video games of the Ugly Period.
    Playing old video games on an unreasonably large CRT TV that you can't move by yourself.
    Using modern technology to remove the texture filtering from Nintendo 64 games.
    Conditioning gamers to desire the next step in graphical realism.
    An epic story with three CDs full of cutscenes.
    The old movie connoisseurs who want to see only the best examples of terrible stilted 1940s acting.
    Making a video game in the mid 00s and having to support both SD and HD aspect ratios.
    Moving your web site from Geocities to a cooler hosting provider in France who then stops hosting web sites because of a change in French law.
    A gap in your personal history where no written records exist because they were on the early internet.
    Letting a web site expire because you built it on old technology that your hosting provider now charges extra to support.
    A government form asking you to remember every place you've lived for the past fifteen years.
    The threshold for memory sticking.
    What we would do with our missing histories if we had them.

    • 1 hr 11 min
    A Delicious Mushball

    A Delicious Mushball

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    Shane is a Jesuit Regent who used to make video games.

    Donate to the Jesuit Refugee Service: https://jrs.net/donate

    Nathan makes games mostly about jumping and shooting 2D monsters.



    Beforeigners (Norwegian TV show about refugees from different historical periods showing up in present-day)

    Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASr0n5LnWnU

    Curating your child's entertainment so they grow up with good taste
    I spent half an hour watching someone solve a Sudoku and it was amazing


    Brandon asks: "Taking care of children vs taking care of pets"
    Other jobs game designers would do well performing, after they leave game dev
    History of changing worldviews -- not just Darwin, but things like the Big Bang and Continental Drift were originally seen as crackpot fringe theories


    Saying your names at the beginning of the podcast and activating your wonder twin powers.
    Quality inventive gameplay-driven entertainment.
    Doing an earnest plug for once.
    Figuring out how to make games for someone other than gamers.
    Your game dev heroes being in their fifties and chasing success they had in their twenties.
    Taking a vow of poverty and annoying off your wife and child.
    Needing to find a patron because your art is not commercially viable.
    No longer having your finger on the pulse of indie games.
    Assuming the internet will be all over a particular TV series but somehow there are not endless memes about it.
    Vikings apparating into modern Oslo and and solving a murder mystery.
    The show about Vikings solving a modern-day murder mystery somehow not incorporating The Immigrant Song.
    The American remake of Beforeigners where it's still about vikings so the protagonists can be white.
    Finding out that a game is only four hours long and asking if it could be two hours instead.
    Introducing video games to your child in order of release so they develop a taste for the classics.
    Figuring out how to introduce your child to the Internet without ruining them.
    Installing an internet proxy to protect your child from depraved porn by replacing it with videos of normal people having normal sex.
    Today's teens playing Bushido Blade and discovering that it has a pocket sand button.
    The classic game history situations.
    Wanting your child to like all the hobbies you think are boring.
    Watching a man repeatedly astonish himself at his own ability to solve a puzzle.
    Feeling like you are in conversation with the puzzle designer.
    Watching a movie over and over again.
    Taking the smallest possible step when a problem seems impossible.
    One of those Master Class videos if the person was discovering that they were a master while making the video.
    A five year old taking the family car to California to buy a Lamborghini with the $3 in his pocket.
    Feeling your family tree stretching out forwards into the future and behind you into the past.
    Watching your child grow agency and opinions and knowing it's your responsibility to shape them.
    You and the cat enjoying each other's company while the cat doesn't die.
    Your kid doing something bad and everybody looking at you.
    Cheering when your child goes down the stairs correctly.
    Game design teaching you to see the world as systems.
    Studying economics at an academic level and feeling like you're turning our game design skills inside out.
    Trying to convince people outside of game development that being a game developer has taught you anything meaningful.
    Being failed up to a level design role because anyone can scrub out a tile map.
    Level designers getting more respect when it started requiring technical chops.
    Needing a web page and getting your nephew to do it rather than paying an expensive

    • 1 hr 8 min
    Inside The Atomic Purple Man

    Inside The Atomic Purple Man

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    Rachel helps run Glitch City.


    Natalie makes art games.



    If there was another animal that was horse sized and rideable, what would you want it to be?

    He-Man Sings. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32FB-gYr49Y
    Chicken beauty pageants. https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/03/the-bizarre-world-of-chicken-beauty-pageants-photographed-by-ernest-goh/

    Would Jurassic Park be the same if the dinosaurs were depicted as giant birds instead of giant lizards and can you even be afraid of fluffy dinosaurs? Also, would your first instinct really be to run away from a fluffy dinosaur?
    Daylight savings time abuse in speed runs

    Zero hour game jam. http://www.0hgame.eu/

    Brad asks: "Hands-free browsing seeming great until you sneeze and close all your tabs"

    If humans got an upgrade, what changes would you want to make? E.g. no pooping, only 4 hours of sleep.
    Graham, who evolved to survive car crashes. https://stanflouride.com/2016/07/22/meet-graham-a-human-evolved-to-survive-a-car-crash/

    Is it bad representation to put a dog in a video game and then not let you pet it? How would dogs feel about this?
    The "Cool S" and the alphabet shovel


    Is it morally conscientious to make sourdough, name it, and basically form a bond with it the way you would with a pet, and then eat it? Is it ok to eat something you've named and deeply care about?
    What's a terrible food from your childhood that you love?


    Living in the same city all your life.
    Migrating your physical co-working space to a virtual co-working space.
    Splashing around in your artwork.
    A horse-sized great Dane that you ride around.
    How human civilization would have been different if early man rode giant chickens rather than horses.
    The most testosterone-filled Saturday morning cartoon available.
    Transforming into a buff confident cat when it's time to save the day.
    Chicken dressage.
    Whether Poland has unicorn chickens, and if so, why didn't they put them in The Witcher.
    Your giant chicken companion laying a giant egg and staring at you expectantly until you eat the egg.
    Chilling out and eating bugs and vegetable scraps.
    Having a pair of pliers for a face.
    The stupendous cowardice of Steven Spielberg refusing to add feathers to the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
    Just how fluffy velociraptors would have to become in order to be considered birbs.
    Velociraptors having been about the size of a turkey.
    Being eaten by an adorable bird and hugging it from the inside.
    Whether Pom Pom is about the size of a beach ball or about the size of a shoggoth.
    Sitting on Pom Pom like a pilates ball, and whether he'd be into that.
    An extremely clever abuse of our cultural understanding of time.
    Making a video game in zero hours.
    Preferring tools maintained by small communities.
    Making a replacement for Flash without understanding why people like Flash.
    Really giving touchscreens the business.
    Whether or not touchscreens will be as good as mice and keyboards if we give them another thirty years to evolve.
    Noticing a grease print where your ear touched your phone's screen during a call.
    Keyboards also being excellent mirrors for how filthy humans are.
    Your hands feeling like they're doing something meaningful when you touch your letters.
    Starting a hobby where you touch mysterious peppers.
    The Schmidt Sting Pain Index making certain stings sound delightful.
    The sting of the digger bee: almost pleasant, a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.
    The sting of the sweat bee: light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has sin

    • 56 min
    Fela Cooties

    Fela Cooties

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    Jay is working on an expansion to Hypnospace Outlaw.

    Rollin' With Tholen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXZFm1FLx6E

    Chris's album "The Lost Backups" will hopefully be out by the time this episode airs.



    7:06 I'm looking for ideas for my "songwriters" "tarot deck"

    The Most Wanted Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McIfIx29tSg
    The Most Unwanted Song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gPuH1yeZ08

    19:05 Did CD-ROM multimedia programs have advantages over later formats (fancy websites, mobile apps, etc.) or is it just nostalgia?

    Ishkur's Guide. http://music.ishkur.com/

    26:47 Banana Variety Box results

    "The Coronavirus Is Bringing Back a 1,000-Year-Old ‘Cheese’ in Japan" https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/how-to-make-so-cheese

    33:58 Craig asks: "Picking the right speech sample for the breakdown in your '90s techno. Compare and contrast, 'I am not an Atomic Playboy' from Second Reality vs. 'Ow that hurts' from Ballz: The Director's Cut for 3DO"

    Ballz. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AhNn9vB-Lw
    Second Reality. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJF0vUtVpCM
    Legion of Rock Stars. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqSsybm3hJ5g6P7wbhfTXUk_RtM1wbUFA
    2 Legit 2 Quit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Yun_uAiaVY
    The Mollusk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5K_w9Tbhoc

    41:23 The genres available in the ID3 tag. They look like a 14 year old just started naming genres off the top of his head and stopped when he hit 128. Where did this come from and why have we let it persist for so long?

    Milton Fludgecow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWl8phxrP78&list=PLvKD5LjgylqZhQaxtDa00t1sh19MYzB9R

    46:14 Who remembers everything2.com?



    Adding even more Internet to your fake Internet.
    Hearing someone pronounce their own name wrong in a YouTube video and shaking your fist at the screen.
    Changing your name because you're just looking to make your way.
    The multitude of four-letter B and K names in the demo scene.
    Promoting your album because hopefully you'll finish it before this episode is out.
    Dreaming your friend a horrible job history.
    A pair of tongs with a sticker on them saying "Super Atheist."
    The guy in the pharmacy whose only job is to not give people their prescription.
    Getting your doctorate for free because you're dating a doctor.
    Forgetting all about Peter Schmidt.
    Buying chord pack after chord pack and eventually giving up and buying the ultra-rare G11/F# card from a collector.
    An app that scans your Spotify play list and generates a list of constraints to write songs under.
    A team of researchers writing the perfect song by surveying listeners about what elements of music that they like the most.
    A team of researchers writing the worst possible song by surveying listeners about what elements of music that they hate the most.
    A rap opera about life on the farm with a children's choir singing holiday and corporate jingles.
    Breaking your jaw harp because your jaw is just too strong.
    People hating different kinds of music in 2020 from what they hated in the 1990s.
    The identity of the accordion player on the floppy disks Jim dropped as he was arrested by time travelers.
    Round Robin Key Clicks From A Skype Call.
    Waiting for CD-ROMs in the 90s being faster than modern web pages.
    Clicking on Miles Davis' face and reading about Hard Bop.
    A topic you are interested enough in to buy a CD-ROM about it.
    Jobs paying well until investors realize they're money-losers.
    One person's perspective on how all electronic music breaks down.
    Information that is thorough and well-presented memeti

    • 59 min
    Look At An Octopus While You Shower

    Look At An Octopus While You Shower

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    This is the show we recorded live at Duckfest 2020! http://duckfeed.tv/duckfest


    Jenni is reachable at jenni@jennipolodna.com.

    Chris is making cooking videos at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRsnCRAIi-VsRPPX4AtzVGQ/

    April is @aprilsaur on Twitter.


    Befriending ravens

    Just Say No. https://www.reddit.com/r/Ornithology/comments/29y31o/id_like_to_befriend_some_local_ravens_but_should/

    What if part of the government apparatus was a PVP mobile game & billionaires willingly sent in tax dollars in exchange for units to pwn everyone else but the game was balanced so they only had a tiny edge?
    Clone ethics: can you consent on behalf of your clone? What about a different person with the same name as you?
    Larry asks: "Best ways to meet your own death as part of a puzzle or game"

    Carnivorous mushroom death at 0:58. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=58

    My sister is doing her bathroom sea-monster themed; does anyone have unsolicited recommendations for sea monster bathroom amenities?
    The badger story.
    How do we survive from when we learn to climb on the furniture to when we get scared of climbing on the furniture?
    The white-spotted clearwing



    Plugging an activity nobody but you can do.
    Eating trash out of the dumpster and fighting over dead skunk carcasses.
    Recognizing jerks and being rude to them.
    Feeding tiny bento boxes to nearby ravens.
    Mobbing random strangers to demand a tiny bento box.
    The ravens constantly pooping on your shoulders but it's ok because it's just your work shirt.
    Meeting your shitting on things quota.
    Befriending Odin's ravens and becoming Odin.
    Being the one who operates firearms in this relationship.
    Replacing taxes with a mobile game targeted at Elon Musk.
    Elon Musk being defeated at a PVP mobile game by a seven year old in a Tinkerbell outfit and deciding he doesn't like the game any more so the company forms a team whose only job is to lose to Elon Musk.
    Creating a GoFundMe to pay your rent while you save the world.
    Whether Jenni is the raven or the game designer in her relationship.
    Sharing DNA implying shared consent.
    Explaining parents.
    How consent works with conjoined twins.
    All three hosts having a different interpretation of the listener's question.
    Puzzles created in the before-times where if you solve them you see the face of god and then die.
    Cool ways to die in video games.
    A game that is great for people who have a lot of free time and don't have a child.
    Requesting ideas for sea monster themed bathroom decorations and getting answers six months after you finished remodeling you bathroom.
    A plunger shaped like a tentacle where the plunging part is just a huge suction cup.
    All of your failings as a wife being forgiven by your ability to use a firearm.
    Not knowing how to safely use a gun so you just kick it down the hill.
    Guarding the coast from sea monsters but not being allowed to talk about it.
    A shower curtain shaped like an octopus so you can paint a negative space octopus out of water all over the bathroom.
    Failing to plan your sister's bachelorette party and she's still waiting to get married eight years later.
    A COVID-19 Zoom Bachelorette Party eight years in the making.
    Having a Mukbang instead of a bachelorette party.
    Whether or not a pirate is a sea monster.
    Marrying an indie game developer for the money.
    Messaging your future husband on OkCupid because he thinks about Arnold Schwarzenegger wiping his ass a lot.
    Being a piler of things.
    Owing your wife a game about trolls but first having to train your son to be a game artist.
    Skipping a step and having your child draw directly on the fridge.
    Being asked to do something about the badger bothering people on the beach and making a joke about the badger badgering people.
    The cons

    • 51 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
9 Ratings

9 Ratings

Zelrain ,

great lords, sufficiently topical

i grew eager to listen to this podcast when i saw that someone named the second episode “Conjure a False Godot” because i thought maybe these lords might offer some engaging Beckett discussion.

only upon reaching the end of the aforementioned episode featuring, rather than Beckett, an explanation of False Gobots did i realize my mistake:

by reversing the title’s b and reading it as a d, i conjured a false Godot to wait for while enjoying “Conjure a False Gobot”

five stars - very good podcast

Zak Blankenship ,

I like it

I like it

YerrikTRB ,

topics don't stand a chance

5/5 would listen again, but will instead listen to the next episode

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