Topic Lords

Jim Stormdancer
  • 4.8 (13)
  • COMEDY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week.

  1. 1D AGO

    324. You Don't Love Staggering?

    Lords: * Andrew * Kate Topics: * The strange and alienating experience of learning to drive at 40 * The mottos of the livery companies of London * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listofmottosandhallsoftheliverycompanies * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listofmottos * Independent They Stand! * https://archive.org/details/computer-games-magazine-issue-115-june-2000/page/n83/mode/2up?view=theater * Leda and the Swan, by William Butler Yeats * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43292/leda-and-the-swan * Predecimalization currency in the UK * DIY TTRPG mapping software, the ridiculous way Microtopics: * Streaming making maps of video games on the Internet. * The people who are willing to watch someone map out every corner of this sprawling and convoluted game. * Writing about video games and writing video games. * Dicey territory. (Which is only appropriate.) * King Stephen, which will have been great. * Fun jokes and oblique references. * Forty and a half years old. * Building your life around not being able to drive a car. * Pockets of civilization separated by vast stretches of asphalt. * The car unsteering itself unless you hold the steering wheel in place. * Someone yelling at you with their little beep beep horn. * Learning a skill and forgetting how you learn it. * Learning a skill before you find out that learning is hard. * The false sense of immortality that allows people to get into a car. * During your driving test, pushing the drift button but the driving instructor is like "I don't see any blue sparks" * Learning to drive when you're six years old. * Getting your Lego Land driving license. * Awarding the worst student in your driving class the "most spirited" driver's license. * Explaining what livery companies are by reading the Wikipedia page also. * The Worshipful Company of Communicators. * Everything's so good, bread especially. * A great motto for clockmakers. * Does anyone know any cool Latin mottos? * When are all these servants having time to go out and have mottos?? * The Soggiest God you can Muster. * The Worshipful Company of Information Technologists finding a Latin word that is also a snack food for their motto. * Painting, staining, and compelling obedience. * Sticking with Hope Classic. * Shoemakers making jokes about supporting their customers. * Getting the salt/wit pun in there for people who know Latin. * Africa: always producing some novelty. * The 2000 IGF. * How to read a magazine together on a podcast. * John Carmack's Finger Server. * Doom Guy. * John Romero's specific type of memory. * How they invented mouse look. * Turning with the arrow keys and aiming a reticle around the screen with the mouse. * Dragging the mouse to the top of your cool dinosaur mouse pad. * Why doesn't Microsoft Excel keep the mouse cursor in the center of the screen? * The FPS phone interface where you swipe on the touchscreen until the button you want to press is in the center of the screen, then pull the trigger on the back of the phone and a shotgun sound plays. * Fold-away interface panels. * Thousand Hells, by the developer of King of Dragon Pass. * All the video games named "Rift" or "The Rift" * How can those terrified vague pink fingers push the feathered glory from her loosening thighs? * Zeus disguised as a swan. * Whether Marylin Monroe will would've loved Hades. * Going to Wikipedia's list of mottos because you need some more mottos. * How many ha'ppenies to a thruppence? * The half crown, worth 2/6. * Several hundred quarterfarthings. * Decimal Day, 1971. * Extremely forgeable coins. * Dividing the day into two sets of twelve. * Decimalization. (Based on 10 fingers.) * Tuppence and Thruppence. * IBM calling it "hexadecimal" because they refuse to say "sexadecimal" out loud. * Theater of the Mind storytelling. * Importing an occlusion map. * Tinting what the players can see green and tinting what the DM can see red or blue. * Swapping the lenses in anaglyph glasses so one person can only see red and the other can only see blue. * Hanging a projector from the ceiling and projecting the D&D map on the table. * A projector of uncertain parentage. * Harebrained vs. cockamamie. * A fun puzzle you can run off and waste a bunch of time solving. * A stochastic cinema where you never know if it's going to be comedy or horror and everything seems totally real to you and is about your personal failings. * Focusing on wibbly dream state. * How to exhale with your nose plugged. * Losing your Apple Watch on Mt. Everest and going back up to look for it and it turns out you dropped it in the shower. * Topics going into the bucket that nobody ever sees. * Writing a secret on a piece of paper and burying it on a hill with a single tree on it on a moonlit night.

    1h 18m

  2. 12/29/2025

    323. The Astigmaprism

    Lords: * Ryan * CisHetKayfaber Topics: * My vocal stims are getting out of control now that I don't have pets. * Training to become a Tetris Grandmaster * https://www.youtube.com/@cishetkayfaber/videos * Switching to not-bifocals * Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nntd2fgMUYw Microtopics: * Introducing yourself or plugging something. * Going to Cape Town for Playtopia. * Enemies to enemies to lovers. * A game conference with a name that sounds way too much like Fruitopia. * What you would do for an Orbitz right now. * An apple juice with basil seeds ensconced in it, like an Orbitz. * I'm not mean, I'm just trying to manifest bullying. * Semisolid Kind of Life. * A dog following you into the kitchen and acting like a Ghostbusters trap except for all your b******t rather than ectoplasm. * The movie about the prep school kids who poop on the floor at their magic school. * Making yourself laugh by doing a Gollum voice while you make a sandwich. * Hanging up a happy face on the fridge and writing "mirror" on top of it to convince yourself that you're okay. * An action figure that absorbs all the dark energy aimed at you. * Giving advice to someone that you really have no basis for. * The dog who loved your terrible celebrity impressions and the dog who gives you a look like "I expected more of you" * Your online source for news about what water parks Jim and his family went to. * The kind of Tetris that you become s grandmaster in. * Tetris but the pieces don't fall, they just instantly appear at the bottom of the well. * How the Tetris company wants you to play Tetris. * Delayed Auto-Shift. * Doing a hadouken move to place the zigzag piece in the correct column. * Stack faster, stack better. * A skill you can practice and get better at. * Training for three or four hours a day on a hacked PlayStation Vita to become a Tetris Grandmaster. * How the Tetris the Grandmaster community feels about leverless controls. * Going several years between occasions to say hello to your wife. * Going for a walk around the block so you have an excuse to say hello to your wife when you get back. * Seeing a person and immediately infodumping at them. * What they have now instead of bifocals. * Training your eyes to look through the part of the lens that does the thing. * Going to the optometrist and saying "just f**k me up" * Why they don't make bifocals for text at the distance of a computer monitor. * There's still time, and there's dignity. * Watching the VOD of your own death because you missed the livestream. * Getting used to your vision swimming in a new way when you get new glasses. * Getting an eye exam and saying "I'd rather not say" when they ask you what letters you see. * Freeballing your corneas. * A fellow glasses enjoyer. * A cursed gem that gives you astigmatism. * Doing the Magic Eye thing in order to learn to read. * Being born a trust fund kid, except it's your eyeballs. * The return of the quarter speed music video. * Even slower slow motion. * Why can't Eagle-Eye Cherry crawl? * Wondering why you haven't leaped yet. * Singing to the camera while being robbed. * Watching music videos at 1.5x speed as practice for watching them at .25x speed. * Suddenly the dog takes its mask off and it was Eagle-Eye Cherry the whole time! * Promising to eat your glasses frames on camera. * Forgetting how cool your whole premise is and just stopping doing it. * Literal music videos. * A houseplant can't save shit. A houseplant doesn't know what time it is. * People running around New York and looking sad at the camera. * Buck Cherry. (Named after Chuck Berry.)

    1h 13m

  3. 12/22/2025

    322. Tony Hawk's Skateboarding Without Dying

    Lords: * Maxx * Michael Topics: * Reinventing pants * Plortonomics (the economy in the game Slime Rancher) * The Leaning American * Maggie and Milly and Molly and May, by E. E. Cummings * https://poets.org/poem/maggie-and-milly-and-molly-and-may Microtopics: * Rabbits and writing. * Buying the lede (but thankfully the rabbits dug it up) * Lord Veterans * Ancillary Justice, or The Imperial Radch. * Rabbits who want nothing more than to chew louder than you talk. * Leaving space for the elephant in the room * Inventing a new kind of pants inspired by taiko drumming. * After years, finally trying out your new idea for how to sew pants, and realizing that the waist of the pants only reaches the crotch. * Pants that are only made of rectangles. * The slow process of realizing what pants are. * Rapidly becoming pants. * The universe doesn't end with a bang, but with a zip. (Of the pants.) * Inventing a new kind of pants and looking them up online and realizing that they already exist and the name is extremely offensive. * Pants that are just a square of cloth that you fold around your leg. * A new kind of pants where the crotch is higher than the waist. * Disassembling the kimono to hang it up to dry. * Looking up the etymology of "pants" and it comes from an ancient word that means "the thing you can't just fold around your legs, you have to find a pattern on ravelry and sew it" * Back when "pants" were just two leg tubes that you tied to your shirt. * Clothespins: they turn tubes into clothes. * How pants are different for fat people. * Clean room pants reverse engineering. * Asking a tailor who's never seen pants to make you pants based on a verbal description of a Taiko drummer you saw once. * Making plorts after eating. * Vacuuming up the plorts. * Extremely ineffective insider trading. * The kind of crime you only get caught at if people hate you. * Gathering data on when people didn't file a malpractice suit. * Doctor Parsley diagnosing you with sleep apnea based on the width of your neck. * Suing a little mouse for malpractice because his tiny thimbleful of chamomile tea didn't cure your hepatitis A. * Wholesome farming games where you go back to nature and practice aggressive capitalism. * Throwing your slimes into the sea. (Which is maybe made of slimes.) * The fantasy of running at high speed down a hill. * The fantasy of skateboarding without dying. * Incentivizing the player to discover new plorts. * The fantasy of being on friendly terms with your neighbors. * Comparing your favorite Animal Crossing villagers with your favorite Love Island cast members. * The two competing Britain's Favorite Gardener. * A reality show where you check in three times on people doing a project. * What the rest of the world does instead of leaving. * Learning how to stand – normally a thing only babies do. * Leaning on an inclined surface made for a butt. * Leaning less when you're visiting Japan. * Crab Doctor. * Reading a poem before it's too late. * Narcissists soaking French. * Tag yourself, I'm the horrible thing racing sideways while blowing bubbles. * As small as a world and as large as alone. * Wikipedia Dad. * Gauging how long an answer to give a child asking a philosophical question. * The Final Plug of Maxx Yamasaki.

    57 min

  4. 12/15/2025

    321. Mist Is Just Wet Dust

    Lords: * Linker * Alexa Topics: * Variations in vampire stories: types of powers, origins of vampires, lack of consent lol * Anthropomorphism/Connection in media * Get a free burger when you join my rewards * Meditation at Lagunitas by Robert Hass * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47553/meditation-at-lagunitas * What letter of the alphabet would win in a Royal Rumble * Anti-Lesbian Vampire Propaganda of the 1970s as shown in The Vampire Lovers (1970) * https://crossingsjournal.ca/index.php/crossings/article/view/283 Microtopics: * Being American and then being Canadian-American. * Elephantasy and Elephantasy Flipside. * Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty. * 3D-printed worms. * A plastic casing attached to your keychain that used to have a clicky button on it. * What we did to fidget after the industrialization of textiles. * How office workers goofed off before the Internet. * Bella's lead skull that prevents Edward from mind-controlling her. * Making up a power to be your favorite vampire power. * What happens when you inhale a vampire in mist form. * Using a picture of Cat's Cradle to illustrate the concept of telekinesis. * Putting the vampire coffin in steerage and the familiar has to sit in coach and then pull the coffin off of the luggage conveyor belt. * Would it be fun to turn into mist and be collected in a cup and then drunk? * Miss Frizzle, vampire expert. * Getting frustrated at a stealth video game and giving up being a pacifist as a metaphor for being an old vampire. * New Money vs. Old Money vampires. * Vampires going on Fetlife to find ethically sourced food. * One mysterious vampire at Goth night at the nightclub quietly asking to drink your blood, vs. twenty vampires going around begging and everyone's like jeez, this again? * Nobody expecting you to embezzle the blood. * Talking to a computer like it's a person you have absolutely no respect for, in a way you'd never talk to a real person because you assign a baseline respect for just being a real person, and people overhearing you are like "holy shit they're really mad" but you're not mad, you're just talking to a computer. * Apologizing to the table you just ran into. * It Takes Two. * Following the instructions of the book of love. * Creation of personality in moments of friction. * Interacting with video games in similar ways as you would a person, expect without the social anxiety. * Why would you ruin this perfectly good complex system with social anxiety? * We've got teamwork at home. * Sentient burgers enslaving other sentient burgers. * Being rewarded with a free burger but then turning into a burger and being given away as a reward. * Chicken stars! They're like chicken nuggets but they're shaped like stars! * Where were you when you were drafted into the Rewards Wars? * Naming your rewards program "My Rewards" so when the mascot refers to it it sounds like the rewards belong to the mascot. * Demanding to see the terms and conditions before you eat this hamburger. * A word that is elegy to what it signifies. * Moments when the body is as numinous as words. * Taking some LSD and learning about non-symbolic states. * Ignoring poetry in the same way that you ignore ads. * Vampire jokes! * Transylvanian Hounds. * Serif H being much more combat-ready than sans serif H. * The most bouba letters. * Capital O rolling around crushing the other letters of the alphabet like in Raiders of the Lost Ark. * Distraction the ref so you can stab. * Which letter of the alphabet could do the best backflip. * Whether the ampersand counts as a letter. * Letters that are good at stabbing vs. letters with broad sturdy bases. * The nuclear family emerging in response to the financial boom following World War II. * Anti-lesbian propaganda films that are far too sexy to be effective. * Heteronormative fiances. * Carmella the lesbian vampire stealing your wife. * The vampire lesbians receiving their comeuppance and the heteronormative couple living happily every after. * Be gay do crimes. (Murder.) * Buying Linker's games so he doesn't die.

    1h 8m

  5. 12/08/2025

    320. Wri Your WriMo, Gen Your GenMo

    Lords: * Hallie * Peter * https://www.paschaefer.com/ Topics: * Do you know where all your things are? * How education doesn't melt * Bebop Bytes Back * Augustus Gloop by Roald Dahl * https://allpoetry.com/-Augustus-Gloop...- Microtopics: * The Directrix of Cybernetic Security. * Unity licensing from Unity as Unity. * Fantasy Book of the Month. (FBOM) * Part zombie, part ghost. * Accidentally GenMoing your WriMo. * A house with a bunch of your things in it, and they're everywhere. * Knowing someone who knows how to find things and knowing someone who knows where things are. * Knowing where to put something because it's where you first thought to look for it. * A person who itches when they see somebody not using a switch statement. * Having been gradually removing yourself from social media since back when Twitter was Twitter. * Back when you could get out of a chair without grunting. * Getting the whooping cough and coughing your disc out. (And you're in your twenties.) * Whether your dad named you after the murderous robot in 2001. * Seeing your students cheating poorly and teaching them how to do it well. * Scaffolding it pedagogically. * Big boat: hard turn. * How do we get education to exhibit swarm behavior? * A brand new exciting way to be bummed. * Education by Panopticon. * LLMs exposing how much of people's jobs and education are bullshit busywork. * When does the salt jump? * Putting together the 50s and then putting together the tens and then putting together the fours. * The simplest shallowest version of active listening that exists. * Doritos hacking the learning loop. * Continually finding new opiates of the masses. * Typing hex opcodes into the Beboputer. * An effective educational tool that has never been less appealing to the youth it's targeted at. * Steve Jobs coming out of his grave and slitting your throat if you install a programming tool on your iPhone. * Making the sun wink and realizing that this is the rest of your life. * Deescalating your LLM partner when it has an anxiety attack. * Your Socratic Oxford Don persona. * The Life Cycle of Software Objects. * There is a mistake, and it is being overcome. * Steps you can take to avoid Godzilla coming back and nature reclaiming the earth. * A poem written by a beloved children's author who absolutely loathes fat people. * Whether the terrible children in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are all based on people that Roald Dahl knew. * SwitchBitch, Roald Dahl's famous Typescript library. * Making sure your weirdness is a kindness. * Roald Dahl: boy did he do the stuff. * Penning The Twits in an effort to "do something against beards." * Why Stephen King? * The Dollar Babies. * Whether Stephen King is still on MySpace. * Walking down the road and hearing Stephen King yelling at cloud. * The Dave Barry game jam. * Going into the sewer and solving puzzle platformer problems. * Group hug vs. forming a blob. * Tube Hippo is back! * The game engine sorting hat. * Coming out of character to talk about Inform 7. * The year that you f****d around with interactive fiction but never shipped anything. * Presuming that interactive fiction has continued to be great even after you stopped playing. * Choosing Twine over Inform 7 because of your absolutely enormous forelimbs. * LLMs as an extremely fancy Tarot deck.

    1h 16m

  6. 12/01/2025

    319. Rolling Dice Like Mozart

    Lords: * Esper * Cort Topics: * Building your identity around a thing that you're kind of not as excited about lately * Stateless procedural music * Hulu can't decide whether it has X-Files * Offering, by Ursula K Le Guin * https://fleurmach.com/2016/09/28/ursula-k-le-guin-offering-2012/ Microtopics: * Figuring out new ways to make video games more expensive. * Puzzled Pint. * Oh man, this one's a real quart! * Puzzled Pint getting you through to the next MIT Mystery Hunt. * Blippo Plus. * If you're going to watch TV, why not watch TV from another dimension? * Capturing broadcast artifacts and CRT fuzz on a 1-bit display. * An amateur DSPist. (Such as myself.) * Whether Lucas Pope took time away from his busy life as a pirate actuary to make a video about temporally-stable dithering. * Dr. Richard Garfield, who loves lasagna and hates Mondays. * Final Fantasy espers vs. Magic the Gathering espers. * All the different licenses Wizards of the Coast is using to f**k up Magic the Gathering. * How to play Magic the Gathering without getting your ass kicked by a SpongeBob deck. * Splitbeard, my nemesis. * The Kickstarter backer tier that nobody pledged to get. * Jim's beard braids, still floating around in a Ziploc bag somewhere. * Electroswing Jackson. * Trying to continue to evolve as an artist after you named yourself Chrono Trigger Remix DJ. * A sci-fi weird constructed zone. * The guy on the team who comes up with names like "banalia" * Fake scam Oxford English Dictionaries. * A Finn named Viznut. * The C program on Viznut's business card. * Recognizing the twelfth root of two in an obfuscated C program. * Bytebeat. * Generating audio in ShaderToy. * A closed form function of T that produces the Terminator theme. * Learning how to put GLSL into the GPU. * Needing the preceding 200 samples to produce the current sample so you just start at T-200 and start crunching numbers. * The oldest film on Netflix. (From 1987.) * Trying to finish X-Files before it leaves your streaming service. * Esper's power over the Futurama production schedule. * Why would you attack and dethrone God when you could summon God to help you fight a slime? * Trying to summon your god in a tough JRPG battle and she's like "not right now I'm editing a podcast." * Trying to describe a vocal sample without saying what the voice is saying. * The bitrate itself shaping new phonemes. * Wahoo vs. wahey vs. waheh. * The great darkness where sleep goes and farther death goes. * The gods choking on all the dreams you forget. * The dump trucks of tasteless gruel keep coming. * How to prevent the data miners determining exactly how far the mystery goes. * You Can't Data Mine Fallen London. * The character who doesn't exist in the game, only the game data files, because he erased himself. * Media where you can predict how much longer the story goes and media where you can't. * The forty second episode of Topic Lords. * The episode of Game Changer that had the fake "end of video" screen before the episode continues. * Hitting tab to switch to the next field. * Hitting tab to highlight the secret clickable button. * Bittorrenting all eight hours of Bandersnatch and watching every scene in random order. * How many names does a Seaman know? * Escaping the internet. * Binge watching the PiCoSteveMo development thread.

    1h 6m

  7. 11/24/2025

    318. Fast Thick Pants

    Lords: * Mitch * Kory Topics: * The Nintendo 64DD * Wristwatch repair videos * How to switch to Linux?? * Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43991/kubla-khan * The ICZN's recommended method of determining the Latin grammatical gender of a word that isn't Latin Microtopics: * Being a fledgling your whole life. * Mitch from the Super Mario Wiki. * The episode of Topic Lords where we specifically didn't discuss what's happening in Washington DC. * A show with nobody on it discussing nothing. * Putting money in the jukebox to have three minutes of peace and quiet. * A noise cancellation podcast that guesses what noise you'll probably be surrounded by when you listen. * The least notable of Nintendo's major failures. * What if we added a floppy disk reader to compete with the Playstation? * In retrospect, it sounds like a bad idea, but at the time, it also sounded like a bad idea. * Paying $100 for a plastic replica of a Virtual Boy to play Virtual Boy games on your Switch. * The rich tapestry of homebrew games for the Virtual Boy. * Why isn't the Nintendo 64DD in Super Smash Bros. Brawl? * Animal Crossing for the Nintendo 64DD. * People writing very politely worded letters to Nintendo and getting Mother 3 released. * Playing with the 3D sculpture mini game on the title screen of Donkey Kong Bananza and thinking "I bet I could do something cool with this if I was an artist" * Mario Artist Polygon Studio. * Wario Ware as a spinoff of the Mario Paint series. * Family BASIC for the Famicom Disk System. * The Tonkachi Editor. * Mario 64 2 for the Game Boy Advance. * Vegging out by binging wristwatch repair videos. * Jewels on the movement that you ambiently know of. * Using a ruby or sapphire as a bearing for a mechanical device. * Synthetic corundum. * Why the little work is going back and forth. * Solving a very particular problem at a very micro scale. * Transistor radios advertising how many transistors are in there. * The World's First 128-Bit Web Site! * What 1990s video game enthusiasts knew about numbers of bits. * 1.21 Gigaflops! * The sad state of Nintendo 64 emulation. * Nintendo Classics – Nintendo Switch Online. * Migrating all the executables you use to the inside of virtual machines running Windows XP. * Winboat. * Linux distributions with as much or as little configuration as you want * How they made Linux good. * The year of Linux on the Desktop. * Attaching an IR transceiver to the GPIO pins. * Setting the oven via PHP script. * Getting an ancient Thinkpad to install Linux on. * The red nub in the middle of the keyboard. * Whether there's any possible way this $50 Thinkpad doesn't run Pico-8. * A stately pleasure dome decreed. * Women wailing for their demon lovers. * Five miles meandering with a mazy motion. * Samuel Taylor Coleridge: a native speaker of early modern English, or he's Just Like That? * A poem that starts with a real Rubik's Cube of a sentence. * How Adam Saltzman does it. * Procrastinating game development by installing Linux on everything. * The Zoologist with naming dibs. * Finally getting to name a beetle and choosing to name it a word borrowed from Serbo-Croatian just to piss people off. * The ICZN's stance on Serbo-Croatian.

    1h 6m

  8. 11/17/2025

    317. This Bass Line Stinks (Non-Derogatory)

    Lords: * Danny * https://linktr.ee/dannyBstyleband * Josh * https://www.bonusstage.ca/ * Vitor * https://vitoramado.framer.website/ Topics: * Games you love that nobody else knows exist * I keep losing my sunglasses. How do I fix this? * Homebrewing * When did Bush stop hiding the facts?? * Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath * https://allpoetry.com/mad-girl%27s-love-song * I didn't actually have four poems in mind that made me say oh shit but skimming the list, this could be them: * https://www.tumblr.com/ailbey/750880084257374208 * https://cih.ucsd.edu/sites/cih.ucsd.edu/files/cfm/When%20I%20am%20among%20the%20Trees%20by%20Mary%20Oliver.pdf * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DoNotStandatMyGraveand_Weep * https://nextworldover.tumblr.com/post/705362430786748416/guooey-a-psalm-for-the-wild-built-becky Microtopics * Video game music man. * Playing a guitar part that someone else wrote by clicking with a mouse. * A very fun interesting exercise that you appreciate. * Bass dives. * Playing bass with extra fingers. * Walking into the luthier's workshop asking to pay them to put a whammy bar on a bass and they're like "fuck you, that's disgusting." * Harold Drumsman. * Tympanum Factotum. * Super Stardust vs. Super Rub-a-Dub. * The twin stick shooter you made all your bandmates play. * The most 1989 thing you've ever seen. * A lopsided castle shape drawn out of block characters. * Seeing a Lamborghini game and wondering "who would ever play that??" * Modding modern-resolution models and textures into an N64 game. * A game that looks like dogshit but with modern emulation it's extremely high resolution dogshit. * Impressing your dad at how good you are at the one video game he lets you play. * Hemiroids. * Art style becoming a monoculture more easily in small communities. * Dirty Dancing except Baby never dances again. * Phalanx. (The banjo game.) * The banjo player going inside the ship for the European box art. * Engineering Jones and the Time Thieves of DSPea. * Games that quiz you on what sorts of consulting services your company needs. * Finding a pair of crudely drawn breasts in a collection of Windows 3.1 icons on Uncle Dave's PC and thinking "Uncle Dave is into some weird shit." * Prescription sunglasses vs. Just For Fun sunglasses. * Doing something that makes you look funny and preparing a five minute angry rant to spit at anyone who looks at you funny. * Lacquering your eyes with a substance that darkens in the sunlight. * Lacquering your skin instead of wearing clothes. * Buying more and more expensive sunglasses until you stop losing them. * Pushing 32. * Being the mead guy and everyone sends you mead making videos. * Fermenting honey in the hot dog water. * Making a slurry of hot dogs and ethanol in the blender. * Letting honey sit in the closet until it becomes mead. * Putting mead in the beehive to give back to the community. * Giving all the hallucinogens to all the manufacturing insects to see if they make exciting new kinds of silk and honey. * Kirkland Signature Mead. * Going into an underground tavern in Sweden and eating boar and lingonberries. * Distilling and getting all the wrong -thanols. * Putting a couple shots of moonshine in a cup of Booster Juice. * Could potato pizza sprout more potato. * Have you ever heard a plant scream during a job interview? * There is no ethical consumption under life. * Connecting plants up to synthesizers. * The sound of two black holes colliding. (Bloop!) * Data Audializaion. * How Windows XP users discovered that bush hid the facts. * When did Bush get Microsoft to disable the "Bush hid the facts" Easter egg. * The mongoose is a common sight on the Earth. * The mongoose's shadow casts a faint glow upon the ancient tree. * Reading aloud and trying to understand what you're reading at the same time. * Cool as fuck yours truly uwu. * The four poems that made you say "oh shit." * Art that communicates ideas vs. art that communicates feelings. * Bonus stage. * Rock Band Karaoke.

    1h 9m
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4.8
out of 5
13 Ratings

About

Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week.

Information

  • Creator
    Jim Stormdancer
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    325
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Jim Stormdancer
  • Show Website
    Topic Lords

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