The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch Network
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The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.

  1. HACE 9 H

    Universal Lessons from Grief: Ashlee Boyson, Author of One Day - A Child’s Journey Through Grief and Loss

    When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children, including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT,  explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One Day: A Child's Journey Through Grief and Loss," illustrated by her daughter Bostyn, takes a revolutionary approach by deliberately omitting facial expressions and colors—creating space for authentic emotions rather than prescribing how one "should" feel when grieving.Beyond the book, Tony and Ashlee dive into the messy truth of grief—how contradictory emotions can coexist, why well-intentioned comfort often invalidates emotional reality, and practical strategies for creating genuine healing. With moments of unexpected laughter amidst profound wisdom, they explore how Ashlee's journey led her to develop courses on infidelity and widowhood, practice foot zoning, and, most importantly, help parents understand that there's no "right way" to grieve. Whether you're personally experiencing loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers a masterclass in compassionate presence and emotional intelligence that transcends age, making it essential listening for anyone seeking to process grief authentically.00:00 Introduction and Announcements01:35 Introducing Ashley Boyson02:10 Ashley's Incredible Story03:27 Ashley's Journey Through Grief03:54 Discussing Ashley's New Book12:04 The Healing Power of Foot Zoning17:40 The Importance of Emotional Awareness26:35 Addressing Children's Emotional Pain27:06 Recognizing and Validating Emotions27:45 Personal Experiences with Suppressed Emotions28:52 Navigating Grief and Loss30:33 Complex Emotions and Healing31:30 The Importance of Open Communication32:25 Balancing Past and Future Fears34:11 Encouraging Emotional Expression in Children35:51 Handling Grief Triggers43:45 The Role of Truth in Healing46:21 Final Thoughts and Resources

    50 min

  2. 1 MAR

    Taking the Scenic Route to Connection: Steph and Craig Salazar on How to Heal Individually Together

    What happens when two first responders fall in love, face career, life, and faith crises, and embark on a radical journey of healing? How do couples navigate from survival mode to genuine connection after years of chaos and trauma?Tony welcomes Steph and Craig Salazar, the authentic couple behind the popular podcast "The Steph and Craig Show." What begins as a reunion of newfound friends quickly transforms into a profound exploration of relationship transformation, personal growth, and the messy beauty of healing together.Steph and Craig share their remarkable journey from meeting as a police officer and dispatcher to becoming relationship content creators who are changing lives through radical vulnerability. They don't hold back as they discuss the chaos of their early relationship—blending families, career crises, mental health struggles, and the imbalanced dynamics that nearly tore them apart.Listen as they reveal the pivotal moments that shifted their path: Craig's life-changing men's retreat that Steph secretly feared might end their relationship, Steph's breaking point in her dispatch career and her courageous pivot to follow her dreams, and how they both found healing through therapy, spiritual practices, and even psychedelic-assisted healing experiences.This conversation isn't about relationship experts who have it all figured out. It's about two people who've "taken the scenic route" through life's challenges, hitting every obstacle along the way, and discovering that true connection happens when we heal individually first.Whether you're facing relationship challenges, navigating career transitions, or doing your own healing work, this episode offers profound insights wrapped in genuine, heartfelt conversation. Steph and Craig's mission to create a mirror where others might see themselves and feel less alone in their struggles shines through every moment of this unforgettable discussion.Join Tony, Steph, and Craig for a conversation that proves we're all healing together—one vulnerable step at a time. The Steph and Craig Show is available at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-steph-craig-show/id1742462702 or wherever you listen to podcasts, as well as on YouTube. You can find the episode that Tony references on their show at https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH (https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH) 00:00 Introduction and Welcome01:07 Special Guests: Steph and Craig01:49 The Transformative Podcast Episode02:22 Authenticity and Vulnerability03:35 The Journey of Steph and Craig04:03 Career Transitions and Challenges04:39 The Scenic Route to Healing

    53 min

  3. 20 FEB

    From Fairy Tale to Real Life: A Marriage Therapist's Raw Take on the Journey from "I Do" to "What Now?"

    Every couple starts their marriage journey with hearts full of hope and eyes bright with optimism. But what happens when the fairy tale meets reality? In this compelling episode of the Virtual Couch, marriage therapist Tony Overbay takes listeners on an intimate journey through the evolution of marriage, sparked by his observation of a young newlywed couple, Hannah and Cody, during a recent podcast interview.Drawing from over 20 years of experience as a marriage therapist, Tony bridges the gap between those magical early days and the complex reality that many couples face years into their marriage. He addresses the common refrain of "just wait until..." that many newlyweds hear, while offering hope and practical tools for couples at all stages of their relationship.Key insights include:- The power of intentional curiosity in long-term relationships- Why emotional maturity matters more than initial chemistry- The critical balance between self-care and partner care- How to maintain individual growth while nurturing your relationship- The four pillars of connected conversation that can transform your communicationTony shares vulnerable moments from his own 34-year marriage journey, demonstrating how the principles he teaches aren't just theoretical—they're battle-tested. He tackles the delicate balance between maintaining individual identity and building a strong partnership, offering practical insights for both newlyweds and seasoned couples.Whether you're basking in newlywed bliss like Hannah and Cody or navigating the complexities of a decades-long partnership, this episode provides a roadmap for understanding how to evolve together while maintaining the spark that brought you together in the first place. Tony's unique perspective helps couples understand that while change is inevitable in marriage, it doesn't have to mean growing apart—it can mean growing together in new and deeper ways.This episode is essential listening for:- Newlywed couples wanting to build a strong foundation- Long-term couples seeking to reconnect or deepen their bond- Anyone curious about the real journey from romantic love to lasting partnership- Couples wanting practical tools for better communication and understandingJoin Tony as he unpacks these insights and more, offering both hope and practical strategies for couples at any stage of their marriage journey.Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b)

    49 min

  4. 17 FEB

    The Self-Care Paradox: Why Putting Yourself First Isn't Selfish and Is “Healthy Narcissism” a Thing? Live QA w/Tony and Mackie Overbay

    What happens when you walk face-first into a wall at the movies? For therapist Tony Overbay, it led to a deep discussion about relationships, self-worth, and the challenges of being true to yourself in a world that often demands conformity.In this engaging episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony is joined by his daughter Mackie for their regular Sunday night Q&A session. After sharing a humorous story about his movie theater mishap (complete with butterfly stitches), they dive into profound conversations about relationships, mental health, and personal growth.The episode explores the concept of "normal" versus "pathological" narcissism, with Tony breaking down Eleanor Greenberg's research on how healthy ego differs from defensive narcissism. They discuss how true confidence comes from actual accomplishments rather than a fragile facade of superiority.A significant portion focuses on the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships, particularly when dealing with emotional immaturity. Tony explains how many people lose themselves trying to make others happy, and the importance of choosing self-care first - not as an act of selfishness, but as a necessary foundation for genuine connection.The father-daughter duo tackles numerous listener questions, covering topics like:- Setting healthy boundaries versus giving ultimatums- The impact of being a "scapegoat" in family dynamics- Dealing with betrayal trauma and infidelity- The struggles of highly sensitive people (HSP)- Navigating relationships with emotionally immature partners- The challenges of being authentically yourself in a society that often rewards conformityThroughout the episode, Tony emphasizes the importance of differentiation - developing a strong but flexible sense of self while maintaining connections with others. He provides practical advice for listeners struggling with various relationship challenges, including resources for finding affordable therapy and support groups for those dealing with emotionally immature partners.The conversation weaves together clinical insights with personal experiences, creating an authentic and relatable dialogue that helps listeners understand they're not alone in their struggles. Tony and Mackie's natural rapport adds warmth and accessibility to complex therapeutic concepts, making them more digestible for a general audience.00:00 Introduction and Setting the Scene01:06 Super Bowl and Halftime Show Reactions02:30 Movie Theater Mishap and Story Time07:10 Relationship Dynamics and Self-Care

    1 h y 22 min

  5. 15 FEB

    Breaking Social Barriers: Enhancing Confidence with Autism Support - w/Karla Gragg and Sarah Bailey

    Tony welcomes sisters Sarah Bailey and Karla Cragg, who share a passion for enhancing the social lives of individuals with autism. They introduce their

    46 min

  6. 11 FEB

    The Evolutionary Superpower of Highly Sensitive People: How HSP Differs from Autism (and Does it Matter?)

    Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive' or that you need to ‘get over it,’ or ‘don’t worry about it,’ but that only causes you to worry more, or feel less connected to others, or even yourself? Or have you been told that your sensitivity must mean you're on the autism spectrum? Or are you on the autisim spectrum and can you also identify with many of the characteristics of Highly Sensitive People? With over 2.2 million views and hundreds of comments on recent viral videos about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), it's clear this topic strikes a nerve. Drawing from his experience working with both HSPs and individuals with ASD, Tony dives deep into why these distinct experiences are often confused - and why understanding the difference isn't just interesting, it's essential for creating a more empathetic world.Through viral video statistics, personal anecdotes, and real-world examples, he breaks down how HSPs (representing 15-20% of the population) and individuals with ASD navigate life differently. From sensory processing to social dynamics, discover why that deep emotional processing might actually be an evolutionary advantage rather than a disorder. Along the way, the discussion explores how ADHD and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) intersect with these experiences.This episode provides crucial insights into recognizing, understanding, and supporting both HSPs and individuals with ASD. Whether questioning your own experiences or trying to better understand someone else's, listeners will find the clarity and validation they've been seeking. Perfect for anyone who's ever felt misunderstood about their sensitivity or confused about where they fit in the neurodiversity spectrum. Join Tony for an eye-opening discussion that might just change how you see yourself - or someone you love."00:00 Welcome and Introduction00:30 The Viral Video on Highly Sensitive People01:04 Behind the Scenes: Social Media Stats02:05 Addressing Misconceptions and Personal Insights03:26 A Personal Anecdote: The Butterfly Bandage04:12 Responding to Drive-By Comments04:29 Understanding Highly Sensitive People (HSP) vs Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)07:27 Story Time: Sarah and Michael's Interaction18:57 The Evolutionary Purpose of High Sensitivity21:39 Traits and Characteristics of Highly Sensitive People29:17 Challenges Faced by Highly Sensitive People33:59 The Importance of Curiosity and Understanding35:30 Understanding Human Uniqueness36:22 Fascinating Facts About Human Preferences37:22 The Complexity of Sensitivity

    1 h y 10 min

  7. 4 FEB

    Trisha Jamison, host of the Q&A Files Podcast on Overcoming Emotional Immaturity for Better Relationships

    Have you ever tried selling a grand piano on Facebook Marketplace? Our latest episode of the Q&A Files kicks off with some personal tales of downsizing and the hilarious adventures that come with it. Join us as Trisha Jamison, a board-certified functional nutritionist, and Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist and seasoned podcaster from The Virtual Couch,  and Waking Up To Narcissism, discuss these issues for Tony's podcast, The Virtual Couch. Trisha and Tony discuss emotional immaturity and narcissistic traits and offer a path to healthier relationships. We share our own journeys of growth and healing to show how. This episode delves into the challenges of navigating emotionally complex relationships and the power of validation. Whether dealing with resistance from a partner or unlocking the transformative potential of self-awareness, our candid discussions aim to provide fresh perspectives and practical strategies for listeners who might be walking similar paths.Join us next time as we discuss how to keep your relationships fresh by talking to a newlywed couple who are just as cute as can be! Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b (https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b) Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-q-a-files/id1730736061 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

    52 min

  8. 30 ENE

    Anxious or Avoidant? Why Your Relationship Patterns Repeat & How to Change Them (Part 1)

    Are you tired of repeating the same relationship patterns? Whether it's constant worry about abandonment or a tendency to keep people at arm's length, these behaviors - known as attachment...

    46 min
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  • Based on the overwhelming amount of feedback from the "Waking Up to Narcissism" podcast, particularly in the form of questions, Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, answers listener questions specifically related to narcissism, narcissistic traits and tendencies, and emotional immaturity in relationships. A percentage of the proceeds of the podcast will go toward helping people in narcissistic or severe emotionally immature relationships receive help in the form of counseling, legal and moving costs, and providing additional tools to help people rediscover their self-worth, and learn how to successfully find their voice, their sense of purpose and understand that everybody has the right to their own opinion, experience and goals out of life.

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The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.

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