Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban

Bill Schmalfeldt on Podiobooks.com
Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban

For his second Podiobook, Bill Schmalfeldt goes from the sublime to the ridiculous. His follow-up to the non-fiction "No Doorway Wide Enough" is this fanciful, hilarious narrative, voiced by disgraced, former alcoholic truck driver Billy Big Rig (who can never reveal his real name because everyone wants to kill him) who -- if he is to be believed -- infiltrated a terror cell, went to Afghanistan, and single-handedly saved America from another terror attack in the days after 9/11. Along the way, he shares his philosophy about life, love, truckstop meals and waitresses, men's room protocol, how he killed the REAL Saddam Hussein, and his many, many marriages. This will probably be the most politically-incorrect book you will read or hear all year. Definitely not for the kiddies, mostly for language, violence, and brief nudity. If you download this book and are offended, it's YOUR fault, not the author's! You've been warned. But if you like a bawdy, action-packed story, told by a character who is one part Stephen Colbert, one part Archie Bunker, one part Forrest Gump, one part John Wayne and 100 percent AMERICAN MAN, then you'll LOVE "Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban." In a manly way, I mean. Billy doesn't swing that way. That sh*t just ain't right! WARNING TO THE SATIRE IMPAIRED: You will need ALL your satire glands in order to enjoy this.

Episódios

  1. 13/08/2010

    UndercoverTrucker 02

    In the last episode, you met Billy Big Rig -- disgraced former alcoholic truck driver, bon vivant, and the most enlightened bigot you'll ever meet.  He can never reveal his true identity because nefarious agents want him dead. In Episode #2, Billy gets his chance to drive a truck.  But after nearly murdering his co-driver, Sammy, for letting a "lot lizard" into the truck, Billy find himself looking for another job... this time as a solo driver.  Along the way, Billy explains why he refuses to use the commonly-accepted racial slurs, but just so you'll know who he's talking about, he'll refer to African-Americans as "Freightliners," Asians as "Volvos", Hispanics are "Kenworths" and Middle-Easterners are "Sand Freightliners." (Billy has no problem whatsoever with homophobic slurs, however.  To Billy, "That sh*t just ain't right!")  Knowing that after hearing his story, YOU will want to become a truck driver TOO, Billy shares some of the rules of the road that they'll never tell you in truck driver school -- stuff you can only learn out there on "The Killer Road."  Billy finds a job as a tanker truck driver, hauling grain alcohol.  It almost becomes his doom. WARNING:  Billy sees himself as the picture of enlightenment.  You are not likely to see him through the same lens.  You may find him downright offensive.  So you have been warned.  If your satire gland is missing and you download this episode and are offended, it's YOUR fault, not Billy's!

    30min
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de 5
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Sobre

For his second Podiobook, Bill Schmalfeldt goes from the sublime to the ridiculous. His follow-up to the non-fiction "No Doorway Wide Enough" is this fanciful, hilarious narrative, voiced by disgraced, former alcoholic truck driver Billy Big Rig (who can never reveal his real name because everyone wants to kill him) who -- if he is to be believed -- infiltrated a terror cell, went to Afghanistan, and single-handedly saved America from another terror attack in the days after 9/11. Along the way, he shares his philosophy about life, love, truckstop meals and waitresses, men's room protocol, how he killed the REAL Saddam Hussein, and his many, many marriages. This will probably be the most politically-incorrect book you will read or hear all year. Definitely not for the kiddies, mostly for language, violence, and brief nudity. If you download this book and are offended, it's YOUR fault, not the author's! You've been warned. But if you like a bawdy, action-packed story, told by a character who is one part Stephen Colbert, one part Archie Bunker, one part Forrest Gump, one part John Wayne and 100 percent AMERICAN MAN, then you'll LOVE "Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban." In a manly way, I mean. Billy doesn't swing that way. That sh*t just ain't right! WARNING TO THE SATIRE IMPAIRED: You will need ALL your satire glands in order to enjoy this.

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