Wake The F*** Up Wake Wellness

Welcome back to Wake the F* Up!** Our theme for June is Man Month.


Alix begins with a heartfelt apology for interrupting, underscoring the importance of respect and humility in conversations about grief and loss.
Dr. David shares a good laugh with Alix on this as they both acknowledge their roles as loss experts. David offers a profound exploration of the male role as a provider, tracing its roots back to the generational trauma from WW2. He discusses how these historical events have shaped contemporary expectations and the internal conflicts men face between financial responsibility and emotional engagement.


For longtime WAKE listeners, the episode reiterates the detrimental effects of shame and abusive family dynamics on men's ability to be vulnerable. The discussion emphasizes the need for breaking these cycles to foster healthier emotional expressions. We cover:




Generational Trauma from WW2: We examine how the aftermath of World War II has left a lasting impact on male psychological health and familial dynamics.
Emotional Awareness: The importance of men recognizing and articulating their emotions, breaking free from traditional stoic norms.
The Pressure on Males to Provide: Analyzing the societal expectations that men face as primary providers and the emotional toll this responsibility can take.
Alix's Pregnancy Update & Hospital Stay: A personal look into Alix's journey, highlighting the intersection of personal health and professional life.
The Dichotomy of Financial vs. Emotional Provision: Discussing the often-overlooked aspect of men providing emotional support alongside financial stability.
The Growing Acceptance of Therapy and Mindfulness Practices: Exploring how men are increasingly embracing therapeutic practices despite the generational trauma that discourages vulnerability.


In addition to this episode, Man Month will feature a series of engaging content projects. One of the highlights is a men’s roundtable, where diverse masculine perspectives will be brought to the forefront. This roundtable aims to provide a platform for men to share their experiences, challenges, and strategies for emotional growth.


Stay tuned to the WAKE podcast throughout Man Month for deep dives into these crucial topics. We are committed to shedding light on the emotional lives of men, promoting awareness, and encouraging a culture of openness and support.

Thank you for joining us on this journey. Let's dive deep into the intricate world of men's emotional health and break down the barriers that prevent true vulnerability and connection.



More reading on male emotions: 

⁠The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing⁠

⁠The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love ⁠

⁠How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving⁠

⁠Cry Like a Man: Fighting for Freedom from Emotional Incarceration⁠

⁠Nothing's Wrong: A Man's Guide to Managing Emotions⁠

Connect with us! 

⁠Learn more about WAKE Wellness⁠

Download the WAKE app on the ⁠Apple App Store⁠ or ⁠Google Play Store⁠  

Follow WAKE on Instagram ⁠@thewakewellness⁠

Follow Alix on Instagram: ⁠@alixlongwinded⁠Follow Grace Pilates and Yoga on Instagram ⁠@choosegracenola

Welcome back to Wake the F*** Up! Our theme for June is Man Month, in honor of Father’s Day on June 16 (U.S.). This week Alix sat down with David for a Q&A to share an inside look at the male psyche, emotions, and consciousness. Thank you so much to our listeners who sent in questions. This episode covers everything from:


Societal expectations of men


Emotional awareness


The impact of fear and love on emotional health


The significance of direct communication in relationships


The innate drive of men to provide and protect


The growing acceptance of therapy and mindfulness practices among men



David kicks things off by explaining that his thoughts on masculinity are continually evolving. He also shares his feelings on the male dynamic as a provider, being and feeling responsible for both money and stability, and his fear, going back to his first marriage, that if he did not provide adequately he would be unlovable. Longtime WAKE listeners know that fears of being unlovable are a common thread in our podcast episodes. 

Our listeners sent in some great questions. You’ll have to listen to the podcast to hear David’s answers:


Do you think men need women to open the door for emotional conversation? 


Who did you learn your masculinity from? 


How do you think the idea of masculinity has evolved from your dad's generation, to your generation, to your children's generation?


Do you feel you need to start your day mindfully? How do you start your day? Is this something that you're knowing you need mindfulness? Have you always started your day mindfully?


Do you think that masculinity means solving your own problems without asking for help?


What does it mean to be masculine to you?


Do you think men hate feeling? 


Think about the feelings you feel versus the feelings you choose to express as a man. What is the difference? Why is there a disconnect? How do you choose when to feel and express feelings?



Keep listening to the WAKE podcast all “Man Month” long for deep insights into the emotional lives of men. We have a lot of exciting content projects planned this month, including a men’s roundtable to bring in a variety of different masculine perspectives. 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Connect with Dion on Instagram - @dionneeleanor_

Or here https://thebodysagemethod.com/

More reading on male emotions: 

The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love 

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Cry Like a Man: Fighting for Freedom from Emotional Incarceration

Nothing's Wrong: A Man's Guide to Managing Emotions

Connect with us! 

Learn more about WAKE Wellness

Download the WAKE app on the Apple App Store or Google Play Store  

Follow WAKE on Instagram @thewakewellness

Follow Alix on Instagram: @alixlongwinded

Welcome back to the Wake the F*** Up podcast! Our team is busy working on some great new content, and this week we wanted to replay one of our favorite past episodes, which we think is perfectly timed for Father’s Day coming up in the U.S. This episode is hosted by Dr. David Long and features a very special guest, David’s daughter Kate Long. We hope you enjoy this powerful episode about father-daughter grief dynamics, the complexities of parent-child relationships, and how families can help each other heal. We’ll be back next week with all new content, and we have some exciting plans coming up for “Man Month” throughout the month of June, combining Father’s Day with a deep dive into the male psyche. Stay tuned!

ICYMI - It’s Okay to Not Be Okay After Losing my Mom

This week on Wake the F*** Up, David’s daughter Kate Long joins her dad on the podcast for an intimate conversation about life after losing her mom, her experience in living with grief as a young person, and the challenges and joys of belding families as Alix and David started their relationship.  Kate is David’s eldest child, she’s 19 and currently a  freshman at UT Austin, studying Mechanical Engineering. We are so glad Kate asked to be on the podcast because this father-daughter conversation offers such a unique grief perspective. 

Diving in, David and Kate talk about some of the different ways that losing Betsy affected them and their whole family dynamic. They discuss the challenges of living authentically and dealing with transitions while processing a major loss. David shared his journey of self-exploration, no longer pretending, and Kate acknowledges the similar pressures she was feeling during this period. The key takeaway here: it’s okay to not be okay.

Later in the episode, Kate shares how hard it is to be authentic in relationships after a big loss at young age, and how she’s looking for real connections, but many of her peers are in a different place emotionally because they haven’t experienced grief the way she has. 

Next we dive into the transformative power of therapy! Kate discussed how going to therapy helped validate her emotions and help her cope with anxiety. They explore the benefits of therapy in normalizing emotions and improving communication skills within relationships. Kate shared how therapy helped her recognize patterns and manage intense feelings. David and Kate wrap things up talking about the importance of reaching out for support, and using different coping mechanisms that work for you. We hope you enjoy this deep father-daughter conversation about grief and living authentically. Thank you, Kate, for sharing your experience with the Wake podcast audience!

Resources for this episode: 

Motherless Daughters - a good reference book for those who have lost their mothers

Codependent No More - a great book for living authentically 

Learn more about WAKE Wellness

Download the WAKE app on the Apple App Store or Google Play Store  

Follow WAKE on Instagram @thewakewellness

Follow Alix on Instagram: @alixlongwinded

Follow Grace Pilates and Yoga on Instagram @choosegracenola

This week on Wake the F*** Up, Alix and David sit down with Abel Keough, a remarried widower who has successfully helped thousands of women know if the widowers they’re dating are ready for a serious relationship. Before we dive in to the rest of the episode, we want to give a content warning that this episode contains discussions about suicide as well as infant loss; topics which may be triggering to some of our listeners. Feel free to skip this episode if you need to, or come back when you’re ready. 

To kick off the conversation, Abel shares his personal experience as a remarried widower and discusses his work in helping women navigate relationships with widowers. He has written several books, including “The Wife in the Next Life” and “The Ultimate Dating Guide for Widowers,” and hosts a YouTube channel (@DatingaWidower) full of helpful resources for the widower community, many of which have resonated with Alix. The three move on to discuss the challenges faced by young widowers, the lack of resources available to them, and the importance of setting boundaries with friends and family during the grieving process. 

Later in the podcast, Abel shares his story of losing his pregnant wife to suicide and navigating life after her death. He talks about finding support systems that are understanding and helpful, as well as finding ways to cope with grief such as running or journaling. The conversation also touches on topics like loneliness in grief, shame around suicide deaths, redefining relationships after loss, and starting to date again. Abel emphasizes that there is no specific timeline for when someone should start dating again but cautions against getting into serious relationships too quickly before being emotionally ready. He also advises open communication about dating with family members in order to avoid feelings of betrayal or mistrust later on. Alix and David can relate! Both hosts share their own experiences with anger towards their late spouses and discuss how they worked through it over time.

Abel is the author of four dating guides, a memoir about losing his late wife to suicide and falling in love again, and co-author of a book with his wife, Julianna, about the struggles and questions they had to overcome to take their relationship from dating to marriage. His Dating a Widower YouTube channel contains over 200 videos and valuable advice for widowers and the women who are dating or married to them.

Suicide prevention resources: 


If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the 988 Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.


Call or text 988 to get help. The 988 Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. Or visit https://988lifeline.org/ for more resources. 


Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)


Visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website to find a local chapter, get immediate help, or find resources for survivors of suicide loss.



Other resources mentioned in this episode: 

Learn more about Abel at www.abelkeogh.com - From there you can find links to his books, YouTube channel, social media, and more.

Learn more about WAKE Wellness

Follow WAKE on Instagram @thewakewellness

Follow Alix on Instagram: @alixlongwinded

Follow Grace Pilates and Yoga on Instagram @choosegracenola

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Thi

Throughout the month of May, we’re releasing new episodes of the Wake the F*ck Up podcast that are all about mother-child relationships, mothering, the mother wound, and how the experiences you have as a child with your mother or parents can have a huge impact on your attachment style and the relationships you have as an adult.

This week, our hosts Alix and David sit down to discuss a wide range of relationship topics including: 


Avoidance, especially conflict avoidance


Suppressed emotions. 


Unresolved issues with family, generational trauma


Difficulty trusting others


Chronic stress and physical health issues


Overgeneralized beliefs and survival messages


Strategies for relationship success



Alix kicks things off by addressing some of the most asked questions from our Wake listeners, including “How do I know if I have a generational trauma? What is a generational trauma and how can I heal from that?” Through a traumatic experience (whether inside or outside the home) a person develops fears and survival skills to protect themselves. As each generation follows, these very same survival skills and fears are passed on from parent to children. It’s a complex emotional story that can be hard to untangle, because by the time it comes to you, it can be three to four (or more!) generations deep, following these same thought processes and survival patterns. Generally, people feel very strongly about the thought patterns established generationally, so they can be very defining characteristics. 

Survival skills and fears that are passed down through generations may show up in a variety of different ways, like trust issues, codependency, perfectionism, conflict avoidance or suppressed emotions. Alix and David delve into a discussion about how generational trauma can have a profound effect on family dynamics, particularly focusing on parent-child relationships. The conversation highlights the challenges faced in breaking free from inherited patterns passed down through generations.

Alix and David wrap up talking about ways to heal and break the cycle. For generational trauma, seeking therapy, engaging in somatic work, and reframing perceptions are all tools and resources you can use to address and overcome generational traumas. Breaking free from multi-generational trauma can be hard, and we encourage our listeners to seek out therapy to unravel deeply ingrained behaviors, as well as use other tools and resources to properly heal. At the end of this episode, Alix and David talk about their commitment to break the cycle of trauma for future generations, acknowledging that it takes a lot of work, but it’s an opportunity to heal yourself in the process. 

Connect with us!


Download the WAKE app on the Apple App Store or Google Play Store  


Visit our website to learn more about WAKE Wellness


Follow WAKE on Instagram: @thewakewellness


Follow Alix on Instagram: @alixlongwindedFollow Grace Pilates and Yoga on Instagram: @choosegracenola

Throughout the month of May, Alix and David are discussing psychological and emotional topics related to motherhood and mother-child relationships. This week on the Wake the F*** Up Podcast our hosts take a deeper dive into the concept of Mother Wounds, examining their impact on individuals, particularly in relationships. Alix opens the episode with a question from a listener following last week’s episode on attachment styles, “How do I know if I have a Mother Wound? What are the signs?” 

Alix defines the phrase Mother Wound as “Anything that happened to you in your childhood that was imprinted by your mother and her inability to meet all your emotional needs. If a Mother Wound is severe enough it can create an attachment style or an attachment disorder. A mother wound is like an imprint on your body and it manifests in your deep psyche.”

Alix discusses how so many of the rooted problems that we have in our life come from an inner child wound, whether from your father or your mother or any caregiver. Also recognizing that no parent is perfect and it’s neatly impossible to walk the path of a caregiver and not create some kind of mother wound along the way. 

Alix and David discuss signs of mother wounds, such as being a perfectionist or a people pleaser. These likely begin in your childhood because you’re seeing the approval of your mom, but these wounds can manifest in adulthood in unhealthy ways. Mother wounds can have a detrimental impact on self-worth, relationships, and well-being. 

Later in the episode Alix and David share advice and insights on how to address and heal from mother wounds. 

Our suggestions include:


Recognizing and understanding codependent patterns


Setting boundaries


Practicing self-awareness to acknowledge past traumas 


Self-care practices and somatic work for healing


Seeing therapy to address wounds and learn coping strategies 


Self-compassion, affirmations, and inner child healing practices



Throughout this episode, you’ll hear Alix talk about the importance of reparenting oneself to address and heal from mother wounds. The meeting concluded with discussions on tools for inner child work, shadow healing therapy, and managing depression through self-awareness techniques. Taking care of oneself for personal growth and emotional presence for loved ones was highlighted, with plans for upcoming resources on mother wounds and courses for deeper exploration.

Resources mentioned in this episode: 


Codependent No More by Melody Beattie


Behavioral Change Request Form by Harville Hendrix


The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle


Download the WAKE app on the Apple App Store or Google Play Store  to access the Fear Chart Alix mentions in this episode, plus more resources for healing your nervous system.



Additional reading:


Learn about Inner Child work in this article from Positive Psychology 


Read this introduction to shadow work and shadow healing


Learn more about the Mother Wound 



Connect with us!


Download the WAKE app on the Apple App Store or Google Play Store  


Visit our website to learn more about WAKE Wellness


Follow WAKE on Instagram: @thewakewellness


Follow Alix on Instagram: @alixlongwinded

Follow Grace Pilates and Yoga on Instagram: @choosegracenola