The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

Robert Duff, Ph.D.
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY
The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at http://hardcoreselfhelp.com

  1. 5 DAYS AGO

    422: Charles Duhigg on Becoming a Supercommunicator

    In today's episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author Charles Duhigg to explore the science of effective communication and its profound impact on our personal and professional lives. Charles shares insights from his latest book, Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, delving into how skills like empathy, active listening, and understanding different types of conversations can transform the way we connect with others. Our conversation uncovers the neurological underpinnings of communication, including the concept of neural entrainment and the matching principle. We discuss practical strategies for improving communication in various contexts—from personal relationships to the workplace—and address common pitfalls people face, such as social anxiety and miscommunication. Whether you're looking to enhance your relationships, become a better listener, or navigate tough conversations with ease, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you on your journey. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Charles Duhigg 03:00 — From Business to Journalism: Charles's Unconventional Path 08:00 — The Power of Storytelling in Communication 11:45 — Understanding the Science Behind Effective Communication 14:00 — The Three Types of Conversations: Practical, Emotional, Social 17:00 — The Matching Principle: Aligning Conversations for Connection 21:00 — Diagnosing and Matching Conversation Types 24:00 — Looping for Understanding: A Technique for Better Listening 28:00 — Common Communication Mistakes and How to Avoid Them 31:00 — Empathy Without Mimicry: Connecting Without Oversharing 34:00 — Real-World Examples: Doctors, Therapists, and Effective Communication 38:00 — Advice for Introverts and Those with Social Anxiety 44:00 — The Power of Asking Questions in Social Settings 47:00 — Overview of 'Supercommunicators' and Its Practical Applications 51:00 — Navigating Tough Conversations: Tips and Strategies 54:00 — A Challenge for Listeners: Reconnecting with Someone 57:30 — Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Charles's Work Hope you find this enlightening conversation as engaging as I did! Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. About the Podcast I'm Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode is a mix of expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Guest Links: Charles's Latest Book: Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection — https://www.amazon.com/Supercommunicators-Unlock-Secret-Language-Connection/dp/0593243919 Website: CharlesDuhigg.com — https://www.charlesduhigg.com/ Twitter: @cduhigg — https://twitter.com/cduhigg Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com — https://www.duffthepsych.com/ Instagram: @duffthepsych — https://www.instagram.com/duffthepsych/ YouTube: Dr. Duff's Channel — https://www.youtube.com/c/DuffThePsych #MentalHealth #EffectiveCommunication #CharlesDuhigg #SelfHelp #Supercommunicators #PersonalDevelopment #ListeningSkills #SocialAnxiety

    58 min

  2. 15 NOV

    421: Grieving your Therapist & Non-Suicidal Self-Injury

    In this Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I address two insightful listener questions. The first explores coping with the end of a therapeutic relationship, while the second delves into the physical manifestations of depression and strategies to manage them. This episode offers practical advice and empathetic understanding for those navigating these challenges. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Returning to Q&A After a series of interviews, I return to answering your questions. Learn how to submit your own and connect with the podcast. 02:05 — Coping with the End of Therapy A listener shares the grief experienced after concluding therapy with a transformative therapist. I discuss why these feelings are normal, the concept of transference, and practical ways to navigate the loss of such a significant relationship. 12:15 — Understanding the Physical Symptoms of Depression Addressing a listener's concern about the often-overlooked physical manifestations of depression, including fatigue, dissociation, and the role of self-injury as a coping mechanism. I explore what these symptoms can look like, why they occur, and practical tools to help reconnect with the body and manage the emotional weight. 24:00 — Final Thoughts and Encouragement Reflecting on the courage it takes to share these challenges and offering guidance on taking small steps toward healing. About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode combines expert insights, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com Instagram: @duffthepsych YouTube: youtube.com/duffthepsych Mentioned in This Episode: Book: Skin Game: A Memoir by Caroline Kettlewell. This memoir provides a vivid account of living with and overcoming self-injury. Available on Amazon: I hope you find this episode insightful and supportive. If you'd like to send me a question for a future episode, please email me at duffthepsych@gmail.com.

    26 min

  3. 8 NOV

    420: Productive Failure with Dr. Manu Kapur

    In today’s episode, I sit down with Dr. Manu Kapur, a professor of learning sciences, to delve into his unique approach to education: productive failure. Dr. Kapur explains how intentionally designing failure within the learning process can lead to deeper understanding and greater knowledge retention. We discuss the science behind productive failure and how it differs from traditional methods, which often focus on direct instruction followed by application. Dr. Kapur shares his experiences from childhood dreams of soccer to academic life at ETH Zurich, showing how personal failures have shaped his life and work. Together, we explore key concepts like the “four A’s” of productive failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly. This method encourages learners to first explore problems in a safe space, where failure is expected, to prepare them for deeper learning through expert guidance afterward. Dr. Kapur’s insights reveal how frustration and negative emotions, when managed safely, can enhance memory and motivation, making failure a powerful tool in the learning process. In this episode, Dr. Kapur provides real-world examples, from learning statistical concepts in the classroom to developing retrieval paths in social interactions. We also discuss how productive failure can be applied beyond the classroom to daily life and parenting, helping adults model and reinforce the benefits of persistence and exploration for children. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Manu Kapur and the Concept of Productive Failure 05:30 — The Science Behind Learning Through Failure 12:00 — The “Four A’s” of Productive Failure: Activation, Awareness, Affect, and Assembly 18:30 — Real-Life Examples: Productive Failure in the Classroom 24:00 — The Role of Emotions in Memory and Learning 30:05 — Applying Productive Failure in Daily Life 36:25 — Parenting and Productive Failure: Teaching Kids Resilience 41:50 — Productive Failure’s Global Applications and Cultural Reflections 47:05 — Key Takeaways and Where to Find More from Dr. Kapur About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, and on this podcast, we dive deep into mental health and personal growth, bringing expert insights and practical advice to help you navigate life’s challenges. Join us for conversations that break down complex concepts into actionable steps. Guest Links: Dr. Kapur’s Book: Productive Failure: Unlocking the Science of Failure for Deep Learning and Growth Website: ProductiveFailure.com Follow Dr. Kapur on LinkedIn, Connect With Me: Website: http://duffthepsych.com Instagram: http://instagram.com/duffthepsych YouTube: http://youtube.com/duffthepsych #ProductiveFailure #Learning #Education #GrowthMindset #MentalHealth

    47 min

  4. 25 OCT

    419: Seth Godin - Using Strategy to Shape Your Life and Mental Health

    In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I’m thrilled to sit down with marketing guru and best-selling author Seth Godin. Seth shares his near-death experience off the coast of San Clemente—a moment that became a powerful reminder of his mission to teach and contribute. We explore his philosophy of “strategy as a philosophy of becoming” and discuss practical ways to craft personal life strategies that align with our values, whether in creativity, mental resilience, or personal growth. In our conversation, Seth and I cover a range of ideas, from recognizing societal systems that impact our lives to overcoming societal pressures and finding meaning in service to others. Seth’s “lifeguard analogy” emphasizes the importance of focusing on helping others, and his insights are full of actionable takeaways for anyone looking to lead a more purpose-driven life. Tune in for an episode packed with practical strategies and reflections that can help you shape a life you’re proud of. Topics Covered: Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence The Lifeguard Analogy: Why Starting with Generosity Can Change Your Life Recognizing the Systems That Influence Our Daily Lives How Strategy and Mental Health Intersect in Our Modern World Building Powerful Daily Creative Habits Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose Developing Authentic Networks and Finding Your Community Timestamps: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Seth Godin 02:05 — Breaking Down Writer’s Block and Building Creative Confidence 06:00 — Learning Through the Lifeguard Analogy: How to Start Contributing Now 12:15 — Recognizing the Systems Shaping Our Lives 18:30 — Personal Strategy and Mental Health: How They Intersect 24:00 — The Power of Daily Creative Habits 30:40 — Real-Life Applications: Who's It For, What's It For? 36:25 — Avoiding the Trap of Playing Games We’re Meant to Lose 41:50 — How Strategy Can Help Us Cope with Modern Mental Health Challenges 47:05 — Building Authentic Networks and Finding Community About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist dedicated to breaking down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and practical strategies to help you thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, useful tips, and answers to listener questions, all to support your journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. Guest Links: Seth’s Latest Book: This is Strategy Seth Godin’s Blog: Seth's Blog Seth’s Podcast: Akimbo Podcast Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com Instagram: @duffthepsych YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel

    45 min

  5. 18 OCT

    418: Healing Childhood PTSD with Anna Runkle The Crappy Childhood Fairy

    In this episode, I sit down with Anna Runkle, better known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, to explore her journey of healing from childhood PTSD and the unique methods she has developed to help others do the same. Anna has helped hundreds of thousands of people worldwide re-regulate their nervous systems and recover from deep emotional wounds using simple but powerful techniques. We dive deep into what childhood PTSD really is, how it differs from complex PTSD, and what doctors often get wrong about trauma. Anna also shares her personal story of growing up in a chaotic commune, the lasting effects of emotional neglect and abandonment, and the practical steps she used to reclaim her life and happiness. Whether you're personally affected by trauma or seeking to support someone who is, Anna’s wisdom, tools, and personal insights provide valuable takeaways for anyone on a healing journey. Links: Order Anna's book Re-Regulated here: https://bit.ly/44Eo1ma Get Instant Access to Anna's free online course, The Daily Practice here:http://bit.ly/Cf CF_DailyPractice YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/CrappyChildhoodFairy Website: https://crappychildhoodfairy.com CCF Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/crappychildhoodfairy/ Timestamps: 0:00 – Introduction Introduction to Anna Runkle, aka the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and her mission to help people heal from childhood PTSD. Overview of the topics to be covered: childhood trauma, PTSD, healing methods, and Anna’s personal story. 2:30 – Anna’s Early Life and Growing Up in a Commune Anna describes her chaotic upbringing in a Berkeley commune, surrounded by addiction, neglect, and violence. The impact of family addiction and how it shaped her view of the world. 7:15 – Understanding Childhood PTSD vs. Complex PTSD Anna explains the difference between childhood PTSD and complex PTSD, and why she uses a more accessible term for the general public. How childhood trauma can stay latent and resurface in adulthood after new traumatic events. 12:45 – Coping Mechanisms and the Breaking Point Anna shares how being the "good girl" helped her survive but eventually led to deep depression. Her experience of hitting rock bottom and the overwhelming effects of what she calls a "trauma storm." 16:30 – The Effects of Gaslighting and Emotional Neglect Anna discusses the emotional invalidation she faced growing up and the gaslighting that made her doubt her own reality. The lasting impact of growing up in an environment of denial. 21:00 – The Role of Attachment Wounds and Limerence How unresolved emotional neglect led to dysfunctional relationships in Anna’s life, especially through a phenomenon called "limerence"—an obsessive, addictive form of love. The cycle of seeking validation in unhealthy ways due to an insecure attachment style. 27:30 – Trauma Healing and Nervous System Regulation Anna explains the concept of nervous system dysregulation and how trauma impacts not only emotions but also physical health. Her personal health struggles with autoimmune diseases and chronic fatigue, and how regulating her nervous system led to profound healing. 33:00 – The Power of Simple Healing Techniques Anna shares the simple yet powerful technique of writing down fears and resentments daily, a method she learned from a friend in AA. How this practice gave her the emotional relief she had been seeking for years. 38:45 – Generational Trauma and Breaking the Cycle Anna reflects on the generational trauma in her family and the importance of breaking the cycle of emotional neglect and dysfunction. How her own healing journey has allowed her to parent with more stability and emotional availability. 43:00 – The Myth of ‘What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger’ Anna challenges the common belief that trauma automatically leads to growth, explaining that for many people, trauma can be devastating without proper s

    1h 9m

  6. 11 OCT

    417: Podcast Updates and Random Show!

    In this laid-back check-in episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I take you through a series of updates and random musings. I discuss the current state of the podcast, why I decided to fire my ad agency, and the recent revival of interviews. I also share some personal projects, from working on my bipolar disorder book to collaborating with my kids on a creative game inspired by Minecraft. Throughout, I reflect on AI innovations, the challenges of balancing podcasting with life, and ways I've been keeping active, like my new rucking routine. This episode is perfect for catching up on everything happening in my world, from professional changes to hobbies and everything in between. Links: Email me with your questions or feedback. Visit my website for more contact options. Check out the Insight Neuropsychology blog for more brain-focused content. NotebookLM Pokémon Insurgence Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 01:00 Podcast Updates 02:00 Fired Ad Agency 05:00 Interview Segment Revival 08:00 Changes in Podcast Style 09:00 Decline in Podcast Numbers and Stepping Away from Ads 11:00 Writing Update - Bipolar Book 13:00 AI Adventures - ChatGPT Voice Mode Demo 18:00 AI Applications - Notebook LM 21:00 Personal Favorites - POV Cooking Channels 22:00 Nostalgia Gaming - Pokémon Insurgence 23:00 Podcast Recommendation - Tim Ferriss Interview with Elizabeth Gilbert 24:00 Work and Mentorship Updates 26:00 Fitness Journey - Rucking 27:00 Creative Projects with Kids 28:00 Reflections on Current Events and Mental Health 29:00 Wrap-up

    29 min

  7. 27 SEPT

    416: David Burns MD - "Feeling Good" Legend on Life, Legacy, and His New AI App

    In today’s episode, I had the absolute honor of sitting down with Dr. David Burns, a true legend in the field of mental health. Dr. Burns is not only a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), but he’s also the best-selling author of Feeling Good and Feeling Great, which have collectively sold millions of copies worldwide. Spending so much time with him was a real treat, as he shared his incredible insights into mental health, his innovative T.E.A.M. Therapy method, and his groundbreaking Feeling Great App. We talked about how his methods are helping people achieve rapid and lasting recovery from depression, anxiety, and other difficult emotions, sometimes in just one session. Dr. Burns also gave us a behind-the-scenes look at how his AI-driven app is transforming mental health treatment, making it accessible and effective for people everywhere. This conversation was truly fascinating, and I’m sure you’ll find a ton of value in it. Whether you’re familiar with Dr. Burns’ work or hearing about him for the first time, you’ll come away with practical advice and a deeper understanding of how to break free from the emotional patterns holding you back. In this episode, we cover: Dr. Burns' early work with CBT and how it evolved into T.E.A.M. Therapy. The creation and impact of the Feeling Great App, and how it leverages AI to deliver therapy. Why measuring progress in therapy is essential and how data-driven methods are changing the field. The common cause behind many negative emotions, and how to tackle it. Dr. Burns’ unique approach to therapy—including why he hasn’t charged for sessions in over 30 years. Links: https://feelinggood.com/  https://www.feelinggreat.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@UCEgz2rq7N1xCHMCcjdyU5zg https://feelinggood.com/books/   Reach out! http://duffthepsych.com/contact duffthepsych@gmail.com

    1h 24m

  8. 20 SEPT

    415: Latino Mental Health, Machismo, and Vulnerability as Strength with Dr. Paul Rivera

    Breaking Boundaries: Dr. Paul Rivera on Redefining Success and Masculinity In this episode, Dr. Paul Rivera, a first-generation Latino American, shares his inspiring journey navigating cultural expectations and his pursuit of a fulfilling life. From his early challenges growing up in a Latino neighborhood in Los Angeles to his prestigious roles as a professor and diplomat, Dr. Rivera discusses the importance of discovering one's unique superpower, embracing vulnerability as a strength, and redefining traditional notions of masculinity. Together with his wife, Dr. Rivera co-founded BE ACT Change, an organization focused on aligning individuals and organizations with their purpose. He also discusses their book, 'Creating Your Limitless Life,' which provides insights into achieving authentic success beyond material trappings. Tune in for valuable lessons on mental health, family dynamics, and sustainable change. https://www.instagram.com/be.act.change https://www.amazon.com/CREATING-YOUR-LIMITLESS-LIFE-Terms/dp/B0CHL3RW4L Sponsored by 23andMe, promoting proactive steps for health through genetic screening and personalized plans. http://23andme.com/duff  00:00 Introduction: Dreams and Expectations  00:25 Meet Dr. Paul Rivera: A Journey of Defying Expectations 01:28 Navigating Cultural Expectations and Personal Aspirations 02:22 Interview with Dr. Paul Rivera: Early Life and Influences 03:12 Growing Up Latino in Los Angeles 06:33 Balancing Work, Culture, and Personal Identity 18:30 Family Dynamics and Personal Growth 23:56 Challenging Machismo and Embracing Vulnerability 29:50 The Power of Vulnerability 30:38 Creating Safe Spaces at Home 32:11 Community Outreach and Education 33:47 Recognizing and Nurturing Potential 35:07 Discovering Your Superpower 37:03 Empowering Women in Leadership 39:04 Building Trust and Overcoming Barriers 40:21 The Journey to Self-Discovery 42:36 From Diplomacy to Entrepreneurship 43:32 The Mission of BeActChange 51:21 Advice for Feeling Stuck 56:30 Final Thoughts and Resources

    58 min
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About

This is a podcast dedicated to answering your questions about mental health, anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, and life WITHOUT psychobabble BS. I am Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist from Southern California, but I'm also a regular dude who legitimately wants to help out. I wrote the best selling books Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression and Hardcore Self Help: F**K Anxiety. Those are available at http://hardcoreselfhelp.com

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