Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Jen Lumanlan
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Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive Podcast

Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thrive - and make their own lives a bit easier in the process. Like Janet Lansbury's respectful approach to parenting? Appreciate the value of scientific research, but don't have time to read it all? Then you'll love Your Parenting Mojo. More information and references for each show are at www.YourParentingMojo.com. Subscribe there and get a free newsletter compiling relevant research on the weeks I don't publish a podcast episode!

  1. 3 DAYS AGO

    224: How to heal your Mom Rage

    There are several books available on mom rage by now. They tend to follow a predictable formula: a journalist interviews a bunch of parents and makes sweeping pronouncements about how anger-inducing it is to be a Mom, interspersed with anecdotes about terrible things they’ve said and done to their children. They usually end with a call for free childcare, universal parental leave, and more support for Moms’ mental health. (Yes to all of those things, obviously.)

    1h 8m

  2. 16 SEPT

    Q&A#6: Am I damaging my child?

    Today's episode comes from listener who submitted an emotional voicemail on the Ask Jen a Question button on the Your Parenting Mojo homepage, which boils down to: Am I damaging my child? The messages you can leave are limited to two minutes in length, so we get just a taste of what the parent is struggling with: a difficult relationship with their neurodivergent son, because he triggers the parent and then the parent feels triggered again by the guilt and shame that some of the challenges the son is facing might be the parent's fault. In this episode I walk though neuropsychologist R. Douglas Fields' LIFEMORTS framework of rage triggers - because if we understand the kinds of things that trigger us, we can avoid some of those triggers entirely and then see the rest of them coming and resource ourselves before they arrive. I link these rage triggers with broader social issues that we may be carrying in the backs of our minds without even realizing it, and the energy it takes to constantly manage our thoughts about these issues is energy we don't have to spend meeting our children's needs - or our needs. I also offer a set of three steps you can use to help you navigate triggering situations with your children more effectively. If you see that your relationship with your child isn't where you want it to be because you: Speak to them in a tone or using words that you would never let other people use with your child... Are rougher with their bodies than you know you should be when you feel frustrated... Feel guilt and/or shame about how they're experiencing your words and actions, even though your intentions are never to hurt them... ...the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you. Enrollment opens very soon, on Sunday September 29. Before that happens we also have a unique opportunity for you - a FREE 'flipped classroom' masterclass, where we'll send you the recording of the masterclass: Why You're So Angry With Your Child's Behavior, which you can watch anytime before Friday September 27. Join us on the 27th and we'll have 90 minutes to do some really deep group coaching and QandA on effective strategies to tame your triggers. I'll only remind you of the contents of the recording very briefly; I won't do a formal presentation and we'll be in a Zoom meeting where we can easily talk with each other, which will be much more interesting and fun than a webinar! Sign up for the FREE masterclass, as well as a coupon code for the Taming Your Triggers workshop when enrollment opens, by joining the Taming Your Triggers workshop waitlist. Click here to join the workshop waitlist, get a coupon code, and join the FREE masterclass: www.yourparentingmojo.com/tamingyourtriggers

    1h 2m

  3. 6 SEPT

    223: What, Why, and How to Parent Beyond Power

    I know that when you start using new parenting tools, things don't always go according to plan. Your kids don't say what you think they will, or maybe you perceive that their behavior is just kind of crappy, or maybe your partner isn't on board with your ideas. In this episode I address what to do about all of these challenges, as well as how to use the tools I work with to address difficult topics like children wanting ever more snack foods, ever more screen time, and refusing to go to school. We hear from parents who have managed to address tricky challenges - including a child with a skin condition who must take a bath daily and who was successfully extending the dinner/running around/reading books process until bedtime was delayed as well. Once the child's parents came to see what needs the child was trying to meet, bath time suddenly wasn't a problem anymore. I share some realizations that parents have had about their place in the world as they've engaged with my work and how I plan to shift the ways I talk about these issues moving forward. I also invite you to celebrate with my book Parenting Beyond Power's first birthday by baking (or buying) some cupcakes! One of many parents' favorite ideas in the book was the feelings and needs cupcakes, which makes it easy to visualize your most common feelings and needs. We've made some flags you can print and use with your children to identify your (and their) feelings and needs. Share them on social media and be invited to a group coaching call with me later in September, and stick them to the fridge as a reminder of how to connect with your kids - and yourself!

    58 min

  4. 26 AUG

    222: How to cultivate Menstrual Cycle Awareness with The Red School

    This episode was...unplanned:-) A couple of months ago I interviewed Dr. Louise Newson on the topic of menopause [https://yourparentingmojo.com/menopause]. Dr. Newson is a medical doctor and focused very heavily on Hormone Replacement Therapy as a treatment that everyone who menstruates should at least consider, and I knew I wanted to do an episode with someone who doesn't hold that belief as well. I found Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer of The Red School, and really appreciated their book Wise Power. As I usually do before recording an interview I read their other co-authored book Wild Power, and I realized there was a 'missing' episode on the topic of Menstrual Cycle Awareness. We can't really talk about being aware of the changes that are happening to our bodies during menopause if we don't know what has happened to our bodies throughout our menstruating years. When I read Wild Power I felt a deep sense of sadness that I was just discovering this now, as my own years of menstruation wind down - but also a deep sense of hope that I can help Carys develop a much closer relationship with her own body than I had with mine. We'll answer questions like: What phases does my body go through each month? How can I start becoming more aware of these phases through Menstrual Cycle Awareness? How can I align my activities with my energy levels, creativity, and arousal - even in the real world, which wants me to go-go-go all the time? How is my inner critic aligned with my cycle, and how can I use its knowledge to help me? How can I navigate Menstrual Cycle Awareness if I've had a difficult relationship with my periods and with fertility? I'd encourage you to listen to this episode if: You menstruate and want to better understand how menstruation affects your life You're raising a child who will menstruate and want to prepare them to feel 'at home' in their bodies You love someone who menstruates and want to be better attuned to them You're raising a child who will never menstruate, but you want them to appreciate menstruation and know how to effectively support people who menstruate. In other words, everyone will get something out of this episode!

    1h 2m

  5. 19 AUG

    221: How to advocate for the schools our children deserve

    How comfortable do you feel speaking up about something your child’s school needs? Have you noticed that some parents seem to feel more comfortable speaking up than others? Have you ever noticed that sometimes rules and policies in school don’t seem to be applied evenly to all students, while squeaky wheels who raise issues that concern them and their children tend to get addressed? If you have, and you’d like to understand more about what you’re seeing and know what to do about it, then this episode is for you. My guest for this episode is Allyson Criner Brown, an award-winning equity practitioner, trainer, and scholar who has worked at the intersections of pre-K-12 education, family, and community engagement, environmental justice, and local government. I also have a co-interviewer joining me, parent Cassie Gardener Manjikian, who asked for this episode after she noticed that the everyday actions she was seeing in her school weren’t matching up with the school’s (and district’s) own goals and plans. In the episode, we answer questions like: What are the valuable ways that parents contribute to their children’s learning, even if they never volunteer in the classroom? What kinds of social challenges happen in schools, and how do these affect our kids? How can I advocate for changes if the Principal doesn’t seem interested? What kinds of tools can we use with teachers and parents if people are on board with doing things differently but just don’t know what to do or how to do it? If I’m the kind of parent who is never going to join the PTA, what role can I play? We all have an important role to play in creating the schools our children deserve - this episode will help you to find yours. div class="ql-block"

    1h 11m

  6. 12 AUG

    220: Nutritious movement for your child – and you!

    A few months ago my daughter had a routine checkup at the doctor, who asked how much screen time she gets in a day (which is more than typical recommendations but way less time than children spend sitting in school). The doctor told her (but really she told me): “You should get more exercise.” Carys isn’t a team sports kind of person.  She doesn’t love hiking, and she only really likes biking when friends are with us. Something about the ‘get more exercise’ advice didn’t sit quite right with me, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. Then I found Katy Bowman’s work and suddenly it all made sense. Katy points out that movement and exercise are not the same thing. Even if we aren’t getting enough exercise, what we need far more than exercise is movement. In this episode, we discuss questions like: What, exactly, is movement? What does it mean for our children to move…and how about us? How do we get more of it when our days are already so full?  (I know I thought that, but I’ve found ways to incorporate a daily stretching routine without taking any time away from anything else I do.  We discuss how in the episode!) What children learn through movement div class="ql-block"...

    1h 3m

  7. 5 AUG

    219: The skills your child will need in the age of AI

    What your child is learning in school isn’t enough The things your child is learning in school are not the things that are most likely to lead to their success in the future. Who could have predicted the shifts we’ve seen since Chat GPT-3 was released to the public in November 2022? While AI still has its bugs, it won’t be long before these bugs are squashed. We’re going to be using more and more technology in our lives - and our children are going to need different skills to navigate it than we’ve used in our careers. The 56 foundational skills for future success A report from consulting firm McKinsey’s research arm described 56 foundational skills that will help people thrive in the future of work. Eleven of these skills are related to digital fluency and citizenship, software use and development, and understanding digital systems. The other 44 skills have nothing to do with digital knowledge or capabilities. These skills (and how to help your child learn them) are the topic of this episode. There's a key topic that's missing from these skills: content knowledge. The McKinsey researchers are assuming that we can quickly learn what we need to know - or that we actually don’t need to learn very much content, because our new AI tools will do that for us (as soon as they stop making up legal cases). But children spend 90+% of their time in school…learning content. How are they going to get the rest of the skills they’ll need? Well, they’re going to get them from you…or not at all. Not sure how you’re going to make this happen? Need help? My FREE You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop is coming up for the first time in two years in just three days, starting on Wednesday August 7! You’ll learn how to use your child’s own interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning that will help them to develop all of the skills they’ll need for the future.

    58 min

  8. 31 JUL

    Episode Summary 01: Building a better relationship with screen time

    Thanks to those of you who completed the recent survey on how I can serve you better, some changes are coming to the YPM world! While most respondents said they loved the length of the episodes because they appreciate how much detail we can get into in that time, a number of people said they had trouble finding the time to listen to longer episodes, as well as share them with others. Our long episodes aren’t going anywhere; I love being able to truly understand an issue and have deep conversations with experts. But I hear you that it can be hard to find an hour to listen! That’s why I’m going to start creating summary episodes. This first one summarizes the last two episodes on the topic of video games - both the conversation with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin, and my narrated episode on what children learn from video games. You’ll get my take-home ideas from both episodes in less than 12 minutes! If you’re starting to see the deep learning that children are doing while they’re playing video games and want to support them in having more of these kinds of experiences…but without using screens all the time, the You Are Your Child’s Best Teacher workshop will help you. We’ll help you learn how to use your child’s questions and your observations about their interests to support them in deep, intrinsically motivated learning. You’ll learn: -Learn how to use your child's interests as a jumping off point for deep, self-driven learning -Show (to yourself and others!) that your child is engaged in complex, multi-faceted learning -Reimagine what learning looks like (it can be exciting and fun, and not something you have to bribe your child to do!) -Understand your values about learning so you can do activities that are aligned with those values -Be and believe you can be your child's best teacher - whether or not your child is in school We’ll get started next Wednesday, so sign up now: www.yourparentingmojo.com/bestteacher

    11 min
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About

Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thrive - and make their own lives a bit easier in the process. Like Janet Lansbury's respectful approach to parenting? Appreciate the value of scientific research, but don't have time to read it all? Then you'll love Your Parenting Mojo. More information and references for each show are at www.YourParentingMojo.com. Subscribe there and get a free newsletter compiling relevant research on the weeks I don't publish a podcast episode!

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