13 episodes

A Blessing in Divorce is a podcast born out of Elisabeth's personal divorce experience as well as the years she has spent guiding women through this difficult time. Listen and subscribe for weekly uplifting, relevant and helpful content that will help you heal and rise while you navigate your divorce and create a new life for yourself. This is a safe space where all are welcome.

A Blessing in Divorce Elisabeth Joy

    • Society & Culture
    • 5.0 • 8 Ratings

A Blessing in Divorce is a podcast born out of Elisabeth's personal divorce experience as well as the years she has spent guiding women through this difficult time. Listen and subscribe for weekly uplifting, relevant and helpful content that will help you heal and rise while you navigate your divorce and create a new life for yourself. This is a safe space where all are welcome.

    Ep #12: Understanding our fear and overcoming it

    Ep #12: Understanding our fear and overcoming it

    Let’s talk about fear


    Fear of the unknown
    Fear of the future
    Fear of being alone
    Fear of finances
    Fear of missing your ex or soon to be ex, forever
    Fear of making the wrong decision
    Fear of judgement, failure and other's opinions

    USEFUL LINKS MENTIONED (and some other ones):


    HUGE BLACK FRIDAY SAVINGS in our brand new Course Portal: https://www.theseparationclub.com/course-portal
    Join our upcoming retreat in Costa Rica, March 4-11, 2023: www.theseparationclub.com/retreats 
    Head over the website and check out all the upcoming events like free Masterclasses, Retreats and so much more: www.theseparationclub.com/upcoming-events 
    Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
    Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
    You can also find me on Instagram @theseparationclub where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.

    KEY TAKEAWAYS:


    Fear is the space between what you know and what you don’t know. It's that space where we play the "what if..." game.
    It’s a worst case scenario game that your brain does to you so you don’t do scary things which is the same as new things. Just because you don’t know the outcome doesn’t mean it’s bad, but it’s a little stressful and your brain perceives that as danger and before you know it you are choosing to stay where you were. Why? Because it feels better to be unhappy in the known than to head towards the possibly happy unknown.
    Fear paralyzes your from progress, growth and future experiences
    Why is it so hard to have the conversations you need to have, or to start the habit that’s good for you, or quit the one that’s bad and to do the things you need to do and stop doing the things you don’t want to do.
    We don’t explore the edge enough to see the opportunities and possibilities. We even miss the hands reaching out to guide and help us. That space between who you have been and who you are becoming. 
    It’s a scary space because there are no real instructions. Just faith. Faith in yourself, in those who believe in you and the possibility of what is ahead of you.
    Fear is only an emotion. It’s our brain’s response to a situation that feels dangerous simply because it’s new and the path is unknown. 
    Fear is the word we use to describe our emotional reaction to something that seems dangerous. 
    Ask yourself: What about this situation makes you feel unsafe? Could it be that it’s just the unknown that feels scary and that’s not actually real?
    One way to manage the what if’s and the fear is to start planning for the worst case scenario.
    What to do: Hire a coach; work out the worst case scenarios; understand where the fear comes from; identify your limiting beliefs and get rid of those that are standing in your way.

     

    • 36 min
    Ep. #11: Considering leaving your marriage? Gain clarity as you make this decision

    Ep. #11: Considering leaving your marriage? Gain clarity as you make this decision

    Contemplating leaving a long-term relationship or marriage? 

    It’s one of the toughest decisions you will make. And one of the reasons it’s so hard is because we have never been taught that we are allowed to choose to be happy even if it doesn’t make your partner happy.

    Are you feeling emotionally exhausted? Tired of fighting for the relationship all by yourself. Frustrated continuously giving up on your dreams and the things that matter to you in the name of peace? 

    I get it and this episode is for you.

    KEY TAKEAWAYS:


    You don’t have to turn your ex into a villain to be justified to leave. Good people can leave good people because it’s what they need. Vilifying usually comes from a place of low self-worth.
    You are responsible for your happiness. And therefore, it’s ok for you to be done and not want to put your happiness on the back burner one more time so you can indulge your partner wanting to “try” one more time.
    Living in limbo and dreading having the conversation, stressing about all the what if’s and imagining all the worst case scenarios is usually much worse than actually stepping into it.
    Gaining real clarity on why you want to end the marriage and what it means for you emotionally before you end it can really help you have “the conversation” in a way that is more respectful for both of you and less emotional.
    Be really honest about why your marriage / relationship is ending. Really honest. And that includes owning and admitting that our feelings have changed.
    Ask yourself what you want and need to be happy both with yourself and potentially with a partner instead of asking if this is right or if you are justified. If you know what you truly want out of life and a relationship, then the answer will become clear to you. 
    Is your current partner/spouse capable of being that person?
    Choosing to be unhappy or be with someone where you can’t truly live fully in your light is choosing to live as less than your potential, less than what you were meant to. 
    It’s not just your fault that marriage is ending just because you are the one who has decided to end it.
    Letting someone go is much more loving than staying and being unhappy in that decision.
    Now that you know what you want and you have answered some tough questions for yourself it’s time for action! Commit deeply to yourself and your personal growth and learning. And get some help! Join the Rising Free community and get support through this from myself and the incredible women who are waiting to be there for you as you will be for them.

    IMPORTANT LINKS MENTIONED IN EPISODE:


    Join our next Masterclass where I’ll be talking about managing the upcoming holidays. https://www.theseparationclub.com/masterclass
    MOST EXCITING NEWS - WE ARE GOING TO COSTA RICA TOGETHER! Join our upcoming retreat in Costa Rica, March 4-11, 2023: www.theseparationclub.com/retreats 
    Head over the website and check out all the upcoming events like free Masterclasses, Retreats and so much more: www.theseparationclub.com/upcoming-events 
    Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
    Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
    You can also find me on Instagram @theseparationclub where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.

    • 37 min
    Ep. #10: Co-Parenting during and after divorce with young and older children

    Ep. #10: Co-Parenting during and after divorce with young and older children

    I have known Dr. Amy for almost as long as I have been running The Separation Club. We actually met online but I don’t even remember exactly how now. We Masterminded with each other for a while and still keep in touch. I have always valued her very compassionate, kind and practical approach to co-parenting. She always puts the kids first but does so in a way that feels good for the parents. 

     You will find all her contact information and social media handles below.

     

    SOME TOPICS THAT WERE DISCUSSED:


    The heartache that comes with having to share parenting time with the other parent. We did not have children to not be with them and seeing them leave on a regular basis for 2, 5 or even 7 days at a time is heartbreaking. We discuss some perspectives to consider that can make this easier for you. 
    This is also very challenging for the little ones so we talk about how to help them feel ok especially during the actual “transfer” from one parent to the other which is often the most difficult for everyone and can set the tone for their time with you or the other parent.
    It’s important to let go of needing to control the environment, rules and bedtimes etc at the other parent and to accept that even though their parenting style is different, it doesn’t mean it wrong or in any way harmful to the kids.
    Amy’s great advice of constantly asking yourself if you are choosing, speaking or feeling from a place of “is this about me or is this about them (the kids)?”.
    Divorcing with adult kids is entirely different but often very hard on the kids and how we manage this can cause long term damage to our relationships with them.
    The importance of not treating them as friends we confide in, but to remember that they are also going through this. 
    The details of the marriage break up is none of their concern.
    How to handle when the kids speak badly of the other parent with you.
    I also asked Amy in the wrap up to talk about some more suggestions around what to do and not to do to make this easier for the kids first and also for us.
    And finally - holidays - managing expectations and creating new traditions.

     

    JOIN OUR NEXT MASTERCLASS on November 17th, 2022 where I'll be talking about how to manage the upcoming holidays. This is free and open to women who are going through separation and divorce. www.theseparationclub.com/membership 

    And once you have your holidays plans organized it's time to book our upcoming retreat in Costa Rica, March 4-11, 2023: www.theseparationclub.com/retreats 

    Head over the website and check out all the upcoming events like free Masterclasses, Retreats and so much more: www.theseparationclub.com/upcoming-events 

    Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist

    Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/

    You can also find me on Instagram @theseparationclub where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.

     

    BIO: Dr. Amy King is a licensed psychologist in Newberg, Oregon. She owns a private practice serving children and families. Dr. Amy is a trainer, consultant and educator for professionals on the topics of trauma and resilience. She provides workshops, educational conferences and online events to train professionals around the areas of trauma, compassionate practices and building resilience so that families and children may thrive. 


    http://www.doctoramyllc.com/
    LinkedIn: Dr. Amy
    Find Dr. Amy on YouTube HERE
    www.facebook.com/doctoramyllc
    www.instagram.com/doctoramyllc

    • 41 min
    Ep. # 9: How and why did my ex stop loving me so fast?

    Ep. # 9: How and why did my ex stop loving me so fast?

    How did my ex just stop loving me all of a sudden and how do I stop loving them?

    Love - the thing we all seek and want. To be loved unconditionally. To be valued and put above all others. To feel passion and deep love from  your heart and to your heart from another.

    But love is complicated and not as unselfish as we would like to think. It’s often transactional and weighed in more or less, most and least. Who loves who more? Who shows it more? Who means it more? Who says it first?

    We all want the big uncomplicated love story with our soul mate. But what is true unconditional love? I will get into all of that, but first - let’s start at the beginning of our story here together - which is in this case; when the love ends.

    Separation, Divorce, the end of a relationship that is important to us, is devastating. 

    I know - I’ve been there.

    I remember asking myself this very question when I found out about his affair and that he was in love with her. How did he just stop loving me? Like, when exactly did this happen? And why?

    KEY TAKEAWAYS:


    When a relationship ends does love end? Truth: Sometimes yes and sometimes now. This is not in our control. When someone tells you they have stopped loving you, know that they didn't get there in a day, month or even several months.  It might just mean the love has changed or that they don't understand it, or what they want anymore.
    When a relationship ends and the love from "your person" ends, then you must turn towards love from other places and people. Fill that cup with love from your friends, family, pets, kids and most importantly - yourself!
    Also reach out to support group, coaching groups, Facebook groups. There is a lot of comfort with strangers who are going through the same thing. Make sure to check out the Rising Free Community. We would love to be there for you. www.theseparationclub.com/membership 
    You might never hear from your ex WHY he/she stopped loving because they might not know themselves why or when it all changed. Find peace with this. Listening to Episode # 8 on Closure might be helpful with this.
    This is the perfect time for you to do the work to clear old pain so you can move forward free of nasty ties to the past.

    LINKS MENTIONED:


    Join our upcoming retreat in Costa Rica, March 4-11, 2023: www.theseparationclub.com/retreats 
    Join the most supportive online Community and support group: The Rising Free Membership: www.theseparationclub.com/membership 
    Head over the website and check out all the upcoming events like free Masterclasses, Retreats and so much more: www.theseparationclub.com/upcoming-events 
    Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
    Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
    You can also find me on Instagram @theseparationclub where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.

    • 43 min
    Ep. # 8: How to give yourself closure when a relationship or marriage ends

    Ep. # 8: How to give yourself closure when a relationship or marriage ends

    Closure - something we want from someone else, but really only need from within. 

    So often a coaching session with a new client will start with "I just feel like I can't move on until I get closure". My answer is always the same; "Sure you can. What do you feel you need closure on? Let's figure out why you feel you need that and how you can give that to yourself. 

    KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:


    What is closure by definition? It's a feeling of being satisfied with an explanation or an understanding of what happened.
    Pretty much all of us want it at some point but very few of us get it. Or at least not how we envision it. We want validation, answers, explanations and to understand why. Most likely any such conversation will be much the same as any communication has been between the two of you on relationship issues.
    Here’s what I want you to really hear: You WANT them to say they are sorry and to apologize for what they did and acknowledge the pain they have caused you - but you don’t NEED it. 🤯
    You CAN and will heal, forgive and move forward without this conversation happening at all, but it will be harder if it's a bad conversation.
    Stop giving your power away to someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart anymore.
    How can you give yourself closure? 

    Think of it as part of the healing journey and something you give yourself in stages.
    Redefine closure in a way that keeps it within your power of doing. 
    Try out some new perspectives.

    See the current relationship patterns (ie codependency) and how they are showing up as you seek closure.

     


    You might get an apology but that doesn’t take away the pain. For that to happen the work has to turn inward - it really is an "inside job."

     

     


    Love yourself enough to turn to yourself for closure. Believe in yourself enough to do the work. Trust yourself enough to know that you are enough

    I have been wanting to talk about this with you for a while and am so glad we have now had this conversation. This comes up so often inside the Rising Free Membership and we always work through this together with whomever needs it that day. How would you like to be part of these conversations and this work? Doing it with coaching and guidance from me along with the support of the other women who are listening, caring for you and loving you as they support you and each other on this journey. Remember this is all about relationships and most importantly your relationship with yourself. So give yourself the time, the gift of healing among others so you can nurture this relationship in a safe space with the coaching and love and community that you need. 

     


    Join our next Rising Soul Circle where we will gather online and combine our energies, creating space for healing, connection and love. https://www.theseparationclub.com/rising-soul-circle
    Join our upcoming retreat in Costa Rica, March 4-11, 2023: www.theseparationclub.com/retreats 
    Head over the website and check out all the upcoming events like free Masterclasses, Retreats and so much more: www.theseparationclub.com/upcoming-events 
    Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
    Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
    You can also find me on Instagram @theseparationclub where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.

    • 29 min
    Ep. # 7: Developing Self-Awareness and finding your voice through your divorce and why it matters

    Ep. # 7: Developing Self-Awareness and finding your voice through your divorce and why it matters

    Develop Self-awareness, find your voice... How do you do that? Let me tell you.

     Today I talk about developing self-awareness and figuring out who you are. Why that matters and everything that goes with this. It’s kind of the first step to a truly happy, joyful and inspired life. Which I’m guessing you would like for yourself.

    Let me first ask you this? Do you believe it’s possible for yourself? Do you believe you can live a happy and fulfilled life post divorce or after whatever life event has been dominating your life lately?

    If you said no, then you really need to listen to this so I can help you find that part of yourself that knows you deserve happiness, love and a beautiful life simply because you exist. And if you said yes, perhaps I can help you further your learning about yourself.

    I think it’s safe to say we all want to be in touch with our voice and our inner being so how do we do that?

    Based on my own journey I have developed a bit of a blueprint for this which I want to share with you.

    The first step is to find yourself, your voice... to develop self-awareness. This helps you understand and get to know who you are and what you want.

    It also gives you the confidence to go and get that because you will also develop the knowing that you are capable of amazing things.

    And a beautiful bonus during this journey is that you will learn to love yourself.

    **WATCH PARTY** This is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I am hosting a watch party inside my private Facebook Community on Friday, October 21st @ 9pm EST. This is a short 20 minute documentary and the best part is that the film maker and the woman who the story is about will be joining us for a Q&A after. I would like to invite you to join us. You can learn more with this link: 

    https://www.theseparationclub.com/watchparty

    --------------------------

    Join our upcoming retreat in Costa Rica, March 4-11, 2023: www.theseparationclub.com/retreats 

    Head over the website and check out all the upcoming events like free Masterclasses, Retreats and so much more: www.theseparationclub.com/upcoming-events 

    Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist

    Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/

    You can also find me on Instagram @theseparationclub where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.

    • 37 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
8 Ratings

8 Ratings

CinderellaFlyBaby ,

Love this podcast!

In July 2020 my husband of 41 years, blindsided me by telling me he wanted to end our marriage. He said he hadn’t been happy for the last few years. We did have some issues in our marriage however I was shocked at how he didn't even want to try marriage counselling.
I felt so hurt, angry, ashamed, embarrassed, unloveable, rejected and the list went on.
I only wish I knew about Elisabeth Parsons and The Separation Club sooner. I hired a therapist to help me cope with what was happening in my life, however I didn’t feel she was making a difference. When I finally found out about Elisabeth, I instantly knew she was the right person to help me cope & heal as she’d been through separation and divorce herself.
I have taken her Freedom to Rise course which has helped me tremendously! I am also a member of her Rising Free group, and the ladies I have met through weekly zoom calls are so great. We are all so supportive of each other.
I wouldn’t be doing as well as I am if it hadn’t been for finding Elisabeth and The Separation Club. I’m loving her new podcast, as it reinforces what she’s already taught me and I’m so grateful for that!
Sincerely,
Annette

Browsed 63930 ,

Blessings in Divorce

I highly recommend following Elisabeth!
She had such a kind and soothing voice!
She brings up so many different topics that each of us may be dealing with.
I love how she mentions self care and loving yourself!
I have personally done some one on one coaching with her.
She has face group called The Separation Club!

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