A Blessing in Divorce Elisabeth Joy

This is it! Part 6 of the 6-part healing summer series here on A Blessing In Divorce. Create your own blessings by working through your healing with this series. 🤗💖


EP 83: An introduction to the series and the things that can speed up (or slow down) your healing
EP 84: Understanding your pain story 
EP 85: The inward journey of healing
EP 86: Overcome divorce grief
EP 87: Recognizing and managing yours and others' expectations 
EP 88: Planning for the future 
EP 89: Releasing/Overcoming fear and not letting it paralyze your healing

I would love to hear what you think of this series. It's been fun and will definitely do again. Until then make sure to jump into the new Rising Free divorce support community to learn the tools and discover who you are and the strategies for your healing while you create a beautiful life for yourself.

JOIN RISING FREE COMMUNITY TODAY: https://theseparationclub.com/risingfree 

USEFUL LINKS MENTIONED:


RISING FREE Divorce Support Community - https://theseparationclub.com/risingfree 
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE BRAND NEW JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching


Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444 

Advanced planning isn’t always possible because if the decision to divorce wasn’t yours then you have had no time or opportunity to prepare. And this is true for so many of life’s challenges as these tend to land into our lives with us not being ready.   

But that’s life right? As John Lennon said - Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.  

Today I want to talk about some of the specifics around planning around and preparing for your divorce, your healing and your new life.   

You are here, so this is happening and whether you wanted it or not. Dwelling on that you didn’t want this is counterproductive. Understandable but not helpful. If you just want me to tell you that you don’t have to do anything then you have chosen the wrong episode.  

Did you notice that I mentioned planning your divorce, your healing and your new life?  

Yes - this is not just a financial and legal road map.  It is important to focus on all areas of this journey. And while the financial and legal can feel the most daunting and also the most important - it is likely the easiest as there are so many who can help you and there are specific steps that need to be taken.  

The scary factor is the unknown results, the potential emotional chaos and hostility and our own fear of working our way through these legal and financial avenues that most of us had no understanding of leading up to this time.  

Let’s start with the financial and legal.  If you are listening to this then you likely are going through or have gone through divorce. If you are done then you might want to skip ahead to the part about planning your healing and your new life starting at 16:50.  

Legal and Financial Planning 


Gather your team 
Learn as much as you can 
Become clear about what your best and worst outcome is and plan to land somewhere in the middle. 
Be fair 
Keep a level head (more on that in the healing planning) 
** And join the Rising Free membership   

Plan to heal 


Gather your team and your people 
Be honest with yourself 
Lots of self-reflection, self-compassion, self-love and patience 
Learn who you are and what you want out of your life 
Spend time around people who lift you and don’t drag you down. Plan for this 
Expect healing  

Plan for your new life 

The focus tends to be so heavy on the scary stuff and the negative things that happen and may happen. So few talk about the good. It’s like we are afraid to feel good or feel guilty feeling anything positive at all. Enough of that!  


It’s time to map out a beautiful life for yourself and start making some plans to get you closer to that - Retreats, Vacations, time with people you love 
Work you find satisfying, and a home life that is balanced and easy   

This is all within your control so make it happen.  

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE 

💃🏼 RE-LAUNCH OF RISING FREE Divorce Support Community - Join the waitlist now to be the first to know about all the launch specials and events. www.theseparationclub.com/risingfree

💃🏼 Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025 https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat   

💃🏼 BUY THE BRAND NEW JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal  

💃🏼 I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching  

💃🏼 Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist 

💃🏼 Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub 

💃🏼 You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations

There are many parts to a healing journey during and after separation and divorce. That's why I started this healing series and here is part 4. So manke sure to check out the previous 3 and the introduction to the series in episode 83.  Having high or unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others can really get in the way of the healing journey because you are essentially giving your power (and peace of mind) away to the person you expect something from. And for self-expectations - they are often tied to how we want others to react based on our actions etc.  All in all it's a messy business that can cause us a lot of pain. So let's dive into this together and as always I will have some great insights and tools for you.

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE


RE-LAUNCH OF RISING FREE Divorce Support Community - Join the waitlist now to be the first to know about all the launch specials and events.
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE BRAND NEW JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching


Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444 

Grief after a divorce can be particularly intense and persistent, and many people find themselves stuck in their grief and ruminating on the past for several reasons.


Loss of Identity
Emotional Attachment
Unresolved Issues
Fear of the Future
Habitual Thinking Patterns
Societal and Cultural Influences

 

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE


The Healing Heart: https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching 
Download the free Separation Checklist with all the important first steps as you embark on this journey https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444 

Last week I talked about understanding and healing our pain story. This week I am talking about the inward journey mentioned last week. It’s a journey that is crucial to our healing and self-discovery journey available to us during and after a divorce.

Healing after a divorce is a deeply personal and multifaceted journey that involves emotional, mental, and sometimes physical and spiritual practices. Here are several strategies and practices to help you turn inward and find healing:

Emotional healing and mental/cognitive healing are closely related but distinct aspects of overall psychological well-being. Understanding the differences between the two can help in addressing each area more effectively.

Emotional healing deals with processing and releasing emotional pain, while mental/cognitive healing focuses on reshaping thought patterns and improving mental clarity. Both are essential for overall psychological well-being, and integrating practices from both areas can lead to more effective and holistic healing.

 

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE


Sign up to be the first to know about the August 1st re-launch of the Rising Free divorce support community happening this summer www.theseparationclub.com/rfwaitlist
The Healing Heart: https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching 
Download the free Separation Checklist with all the important first steps as you embark on this journey https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444 

We all carry a painstory, a personal narrative shaped by our experiences of trauma, loss, and hardship. Understanding and acknowledging this painstory is crucial for healing after significant life events such as divorce, loss, or abuse. By exploring the origins and impact of our pain, we can begin to unravel the emotional knots that bind us to the past. This process of self-awareness allows us to identify patterns of suffering, recognize triggers, and gradually disempower the pain that has accumulated over time. Through compassionate self-reflection and acceptance, we can transform our painstory from a source of ongoing distress into a catalyst for growth and resilience, fostering a deeper sense of inner peace and emotional freedom.

Triggers of the Pain-Body:


Negative Thoughts and Emotions: Negative thoughts and emotions can feed the pain-body, causing it to grow stronger and more influential over an individual's state of mind and behavior.
Relationships: Close relationships, particularly those involving conflict or intense emotional interactions, can activate the pain-body.
Stressful Situations: High-stress circumstances or situations can trigger the pain-body, bringing old emotional wounds to the surface.

Healing the Pain-Body:


Awareness and Presence: The first step to healing is to become aware of the pain-body's presence. Recognizing when it is active allows an individual to disidentify from it. Practicing presence and staying in the "now" reduces the pain-body's power.
Observation Without Judgment: Observing the pain-body without judgment or reaction can weaken it. By acknowledging its presence without engaging with it emotionally, an individual can prevent it from gaining more energy.
Acceptance: Accepting the pain and understanding it as a part of the human experience can help in the healing process. This acceptance involves not resisting or trying to escape the pain, but rather allowing it to be without feeding it further.
Inner Body Awareness: Focusing on the physical sensations in the body can help in grounding and staying present. This practice can diminish the influence of the pain-body.

LINKS MENTIONED AND MORE


Sign up to be the first to know about the August 1st re-launch of the Rising Free divorce support community happening this summer www.theseparationclub.com/rfwaitlist
The Healing Heart: https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart
Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025  https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat 
BUY THE JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal
I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching 
Download the free Separation Checklist with all the important first steps as you embark on this journey https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist
Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub/
You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce.
And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444