The Most Hated F-Word Shaun Maslyk

With Dennis Harhalakis | Certified Money Coach (CMC)® | Founder of Cambridge Money Coaching







Summary







Dennis shares his journey from knowing a lot about money to realizing he didn't know much about money and himself. He discovered his inherited money anxiety and how it affected his behaviours and beliefs (unconscious to himself). Self-forgiveness and self-compassion played a crucial role in his journey of change. Money coaching is different from financial coaching in that it focuses on the why behind financial behaviours and helps individuals understand their money patterns and beliefs. It involves reaching out to clients, validating their feelings, and building trust and connection.







Dennis discusses the importance of creating a safe space for clients to talk about money and building trust with them. He emphasizes the need to meet clients where they are and normalize their feelings about money. Dennis also highlights the significance of understanding a client's money history and beliefs in order to help them make financial decisions. He explores the idea of having a healthy relationship with money, which is based on positive feelings about oneself, money, and money in oneself.







Highlights:









Money coaching focuses on understanding the why behind financial behaviours and beliefs.







Self-forgiveness and self-compassion are essential in the journey of change.







Inherited money anxiety can affect behaviours and beliefs around money.







Money coaching involves reaching out to clients, validating their feelings, and building trust and connection. Create a safe space for clients to talk about money and build trust with them.







Meet clients where they are and normalize their feelings about money.







Understand a client's money history and beliefs to help them make financial decisions.







Develop a healthy relationship with money based on positive feelings about oneself, money, and money in oneself.







Recognize one's own worth and sufficiency.









Quotes:









"I knew a lot about money, but not much about money and myself." - Dennis Harhalakis







"Self-forgiveness and self-compassion play a role in the journey of change." - Dennis Harhalakis







"People want to talk about money desperately. We haven't always had the environment or the trusting person that we feel like we can share." - Dennis Harhalakis









Links:









Dennis' Website: CLICK HERE

With Todd Kashdan Ph.D.| Best Selling Author | Professor | Clinical Psychologist







BIO:







Todd B. Kashdan, Ph.D. is a Professor of Psychology at George Mason University, and a leading authority on well-being, curiosity, courage, and resilience. He has published over 200 scientific articles, his work has been cited over 32,000 times, and he received the American Psychological Association’s Award for Distinguished Scientific Early Career Contributions to Psychology.







His books Curious? and The Upside of Your Dark Side has been translated into over 15 languages. His writing has appeared in the Harvard Business Review, National Geographic, and other publications, and his research is featured regularly in media outlets such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, Fast Company, and Time Magazine.







He’s a twin with twin daughters (plus one more), with plans to rapidly populate the world with great conversationalists.







Highlights:









Curiosity can help us unlock creativity and become a principled rebel







How curiosity and the art of insubordination can help us re-write our money stories







The power contained within asking questions to “seek to understand” before judging







How money can increase your well-being……..when used in the proper ways







How the three temporal dimensions (parts of time) of buying experiences provide towards our well-being (anticipation, being on the trip, post mortem)







How cultivating psychological flexibility can help us gain clarity over our money stories







Why acceptance and honouring our dark emotions is beneficial to our well-being









Links:









The Art of Insubordination Book CLICK HERE







Todd’s website CLICK HERE

With Dr. Rick Scott | Behavioural Scientist | Author | Associate Professor







Summary:







This episode explores the psychology of money and our relationships with money, beginning with a debt prioritization study that even caught the eye of financial guru Dave Ramsey, who called Dr. Scott an 'egghead'. The discussion broadens to include personal stories about how family influences and past experiences shape our spending habits.







We also examine the contrasting spending styles of 'tightwads' and 'spendthrifts,' revealing the emotions behind each approach and their impact on financial decision-making. Emphasis is placed on the importance of self-awareness in recognizing our own fears and anxieties about money.







Dr. Scott then explores how couples handle finances, discussing the benefits of joint bank accounts for fostering trust and minimizing financial disputes. It introduces the concept of financial translucency—maintaining a healthy awareness of each other’s financial activities without needing detailed oversight. Challenges arising from different spending habits are considered, highlighting how mutual understanding and compromise, particularly in gift-giving, can lead to greater relationship satisfaction and happiness.







Takeaways









The psychology of money is influenced by both mathematical and emotional factors.







Personal experiences and family stories play a significant role in shaping our views and behaviours around money.







Tightwads and spendthrifts have different orientations towards spending, but both can experience regret and anxiety.







Understanding our tendencies and emotions around money can help us make more informed financial decisions.







Joint bank accounts can promote trust and reduce scorekeeping in couples. Financial transparency and trust are crucial in a relationship.







Mismatched spending habits can be challenging, but there is potential for happiness with mindful approaches.







Finding balance and happiness in financial matters requires individuality and joint decision-making.







Privacy and secrecy can coexist in a relationship, but certain secrets can be destructive and need to be addressed.









Links:









Dr. Rick Scott's Website: CLICK HERE







Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships

With Dr. Jenny Olson | Assistant Professor of Marketing |







Summary:







Dr. Jenny Olson explores the complexities of financial decision-making among couples. She talks about why people with different spending habits often end up together and what challenges that brings. Dr. Olson also explains 'financial infidelity'—that's when someone hides or lies about money matters.







Dr. Olson discusses the reasons people might hide their spending or debts, from wanting more control to simply trying to dodge an argument. She highlights the importance of having open conversations, really understanding your partner's financial perspective, and getting to the heart of their concerns.







She also sheds light on how income affects how generous we are and how we view our partners financially. Towards the end, she offers some practical tips on managing money better together, aiming for a relationship where both partners are on the same page financially.







BIO:







Dr. Jenny Olson serves as an Assistant Professor of Marketing at Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business. Her academic research delves into consumer behaviour within interpersonal settings, focusing particularly on two main areas: consumer financial decision-making—exploring how romantic couples navigate their financial choices—and social cognition and inferential processes—investigating how individuals assess others' consumption decisions. Dr. Olson’s influential work has been featured in esteemed journals such as the Journal of Consumer Research, the International Journal of Research in Marketing, and the Journal of the Association for Consumer Research. Her research has also attracted widespread attention from the media, with coverage in major publications including The Atlantic, Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, Forbes, Huffington Post, New York Times, NPR, Time Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal, highlighting her significant contributions to the field of consumer behaviour.







Takeaways









Opposites often attract in financial decision-making within partnerships, leading to lower financial harmony and potential tension.







Confidence and perceived control play significant roles in influencing financial decisions within relationships.







Open communication and transparency are crucial for achieving financial harmony and aligning goals and values.







Financial infidelity, defined as intentionally engaging in disapproved financial behavior and actively concealing it, can have negative impacts on financial well-being and relationship satisfaction.









LINKS:









Dr. Jenny Olson's Website: CLICK HERE

With Emily Burnett | Writer | Consultant |







Summary:







Emily shares her journey from collecting insects for money as a teenager to understanding the impact of her entrepreneurial family on her financial mindset. She reflects on the wisdom of her 94-year-old grandmother, who values relationships and dreams over material wealth. Emily discusses the significance of facing reality and being intentional in life and money management. She highlights the benefits of making peace with your financial plans, such as finding peace and control in an often chaotic world.







Emily also discusses the resistance to budgeting and the importance of creating a personal financial oasis. She shares insights on helping those overly focused on budgeting and emphasizes the importance of embracing spending while being intentional. Additionally, Emily explores how shyness can affect financial decisions and the need to examine our financial roots.







At the end, Emily talks about her upcoming book, 'Dear Fellow Dreamer,' aimed at helping individuals who feel trapped in safe corporate jobs.







BIO:







Emily Burnett is a writer, consultant, and intentional money + life enthusiast. She spent years working in tech as a marketing technologist all the while dreaming of building her own thing. Emily left corporate in 2022 to travel and grow her financial coaching practice. Pursuing it full-time revealed that more than coaching she loves writing, speaking, and meeting people. She is the author of Dear Fellow Spender, written for the spender who typically avoids personal finance books, and is currently writing Dear Fellow Dreamer. She's on a mission to help entrepreneurs and dreamers get and stay intentional about what they're creating whether it's a meaningful life or a business of their dreams.







Takeaways









Money stories are powerful and can shape our mindset and relationship with money.







Having entrepreneurial role models can inspire and influence our own entrepreneurial spirit.







Prioritizing relationships and dreams can lead to a rich and fulfilling life.







Being intentional in both living and managing money can bring peace and control. Create an oasis of control in your personal finances to feel grounded and empowered.







Embrace spending and be intentional about how you spend your money.







Examine your roots and understand how your past experiences and beliefs shape your relationship with money.







Take risks and build a strong foundation to support your financial and personal growth.









Links:









Emily's Website: CLICK HERE







LinkedIn: CLICK HERE

With Abby Davisson | Author | Speaker | Entrepreneur |







Summary







In this conversation Abby Davisson explores the interconnection of love and money, challenging the flawed socialization that separates the two. It delves into the historical context of marriage and money, highlighting the importance of transparent conversations about money in relationships. The influence of upbringing and parents' careers on money mindset is discussed, along with the power of passing on stories. The journey of co-authoring a book and the impact of collaboration between individuals from different backgrounds is explored. The creation of a framework for decision-making, known as the Five C's, is introduced, with a focus on the challenging step of clarifying what's important. Abby discusses the importance of clarifying values and intentions in relationships, particularly when it comes to money. She emphasizes the need for individuals to understand their own values and communicate them effectively to their partners. Abby also highlights the impact of a lack of clarity on relationships and the importance of having difficult conversations. She shares insights from her work at the Money and Love Institute, which aims to help financial advisors integrate the elements of money and love in their conversations with clients.







BIO:







Abby Davisson has dedicated her career to helping others achieve their goals, first as a social innovation leader and now as an author, speaker, and entrepreneur. Prior to founding the Money and Love Institute, she spent nearly a decade driving social impact at global retailer Gap Inc., where she served as president of the Gap Foundation and co-founded the company’s employee resource group for working parents. Abby’s prior professional experience includes strategy-focused roles at Tipping Point Community, the NYC Department of Education, and The Bridgespan Group, as well as experience serving as an alumni career advisor and coach at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Abby holds a BA from Yale University and an MBA and MA in Education from Stanford University. She lives with her husband (who also studied with Myra at Stanford) and their two sons in San Francisco.







Takeaways









Love and money are deeply intertwined, and it is important to recognize and address their connection in relationships.







Transparent conversations about money in relationships are crucial for making holistic and informed decisions.







Upbringing and parents' careers have a significant influence on individuals' money mindset.







Passing on stories and values to future generations is a powerful way to shape their relationship with money.







The Five C's framework (Clarify, Communicate, Broaden Choices, Check with Trusted Resources, Consider Consequences) provides a structured approach to decision-making that considers both love and money.









LINKS:









Abby's Website for her book: CLICK HERE







Love & Money Institute: CLICK HERE