Queer Relationships, Queer Joy Keely Helmick & Melisa De Seguirant

Talking about sex in our own relationships can be difficult and uncomfortable—even for a queer sex therapist with a lot of practice. It’s vulnerable to talk to partners about our desires and the changes we feel around sex. That’s why we’re discussing how to talk to both new and long-term partners about our sexual desires.
You’ll hear—
(09:51) The challenges of talking about sex with our partners
(15:47) Societal pressure around orgasms
(22:31) How exploring gender and sexual labels can impact your preferences
(34:58) TW: sexual assault, domestic violence, skip to (38:34)
(39:35) Queer Joys
Connect with Keely:
    •    Follow them on Instagram and TikTok
    •    Follow Connective Therapy Collective on Instagram and Facebook
Connect with Melisa:
    •    Follow them on Instagram
    •    Follow Therapeutic Ideas on Instagram
 
If you like the show, please leave a rating and review and tell us your thoughts on Instagram @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy
 

In small communities, whether that’s a small city or simply being queer and polyamorous, exes and old connections often overlap. We're discussing how to navigate these interactions and collaborate with our partners to establish agreements or guidelines for engaging with others in our social circles. We'll explore topics such as control, comfort and discomfort, preferences and requests vs rules, and ultimatums. These concepts can help us manage our partners' relationships outside of our own while also considering what is possible and ethical.
You’ll hear—
(12:52) How much control do you have over interactions with your exes
(16:12) Making requests and ethical boundaries 
(24:48) The importance of flexibility and understanding in agreements
(31:58) Queer joys
Connect with Keely:
    •    Follow them on Instagram and TikTok
    •    Follow Connective Therapy Collective on Instagram and Facebook
 
Connect with Melisa:
    •    Follow them on Instagram
    •    Follow Therapeutic Ideas on Instagram
 
If you like the show, please leave a rating and review and tell us your thoughts on Instagram @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy
 

Are you navigating non-monogamy as a newbie, feeling intimidated by those with more experience who have read all the books or had lots of partners? Or maybe you're the one with the experience, rolling your eyes at the fresh faces? We’re exploring the nuances of different experience levels in the context of non-monogamy because experience doesn't guarantee a great partner or ethical behavior, just as being new doesn't always lead to disaster.
You’ll hear—
(12:38) The nuances of being experienced or new to non-monogamy
(22:15) Having a beginner’s mind and staying curious
(30:07) Generational differences in non-monogamy
(38:37) Going into a relationship with intentionality
(42:52) Queer Joys
Let us know your experience exploring these dynamics as either a newbie or someone with experience. As always, you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.

How do we engage with the world around us and continue some form of activism or social justice while also finding moments of joy? We’re exploring this question to bring some optimism and mindfulness when it feels like the world is fire. 
You’ll hear
(5:56) Finding joy in challenging times
(8:37) Balancing activism with moments of joy and hope.
(13:56) Finding hope and inspiration in small moments, or glimmers 
(19:43) Oxytocin and sex
(25:23) Meaning, joy, and overstimulation in modern life
(28:06) Queer joys
Keep up with Melisa on Instagram @therapeutic.ideas and look out for the training on April 20th by Alex Iantaffi on mixed orientation relationships at Eventbrite or connectivetherapycollective.com.

Differentiation of self is like learning how to be your own person while still being part of a group, or a relationship. We’re unpacking this fancy psychological term by Bowen and applying it to dating to help you be connected with your own emotions while also being present for others. 
You’ll hear—
(15:19) What “differentiation of self” is and why Melisa thinks it’s a fun term 
(18:38) Differentiation in the context of relationships
(25:12) How to practice self-awareness in this process
(29:47) Queer joys
Connect with us over on Instagram @melisa.deseguirant and @queer_therapist_pdx

How do we stay calm and adaptable in the face of life's ups and downs, especially in our relationships? We’ve talked before about regulating your nervous system, but after you’ve taken those first steps, let’s shift the conversation to building flexibility and adaptability.
You’ll hear—
(12:46) Finding reliability and stability during times of unexpected change
(15:31) How to ground yourself to feel a sense of consistency
(21:29) Creating relationship rituals
(26:56) What to do if you struggle with change or are neurodivergent
(32:22) Queer Joys
Let us know what you thought of this episode @QueerRelationshipsQueerJoy or email us at info@connectivetherapycollective.com