81 episodes

The Great Leader has returned to Radio X and transmission of The Important Broadcast will commence on Sunday mornings from 11am - 1pm! Gather round, grab your listening partner and prepare for laughs, japes, larks and skits. You can listen to Radio X across the UK on DAB, 104.9 in London, 97.7 in Manchester on your mobile or via www.radiox.co.uk.

You can send your listener comments to Danny@radiox.co.uk

Danny Wallace's Important Broadcast Global Media & Entertainment

    • Comedy
    • 4.8, 314 Ratings

The Great Leader has returned to Radio X and transmission of The Important Broadcast will commence on Sunday mornings from 11am - 1pm! Gather round, grab your listening partner and prepare for laughs, japes, larks and skits. You can listen to Radio X across the UK on DAB, 104.9 in London, 97.7 in Manchester on your mobile or via www.radiox.co.uk.

You can send your listener comments to Danny@radiox.co.uk

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
314 Ratings

314 Ratings

MechRisky ,

THE LEGENDS WERE TRUE.

Danny Wallace
Dune
Desert planet.

For now upon the whispering desert of the radio phonic wasteland, where long the battle has waged.
There whispers a whisper and it whispers thusly:

let thee heed thee with a message.

You and I as the listeners have hidden deep within the void of the radio chatter caves. Searching, hoping daring to believe that one day upon a Sunday a new sunrise will break.

A glorious dawning of light to bring meaning to world that once so bright has now fallen into misery, desperation and boredom.

We have prayed that salvation will be delivered upon us and that we too might be free.

It has been told in books and tablets of yore of the coming of the Messiah. The balancer of ways, the unifier. The man who bares an X on his chest, from which beams energy of psychic oneness, Nirvana!

Listen thee laymen of the listener pads, plug thine eye specs and finger toes into the mainframe. Which for too long has been steeped in the dust of a thousand falling suns. For too long have we gazed in unison, tears collecting in the communal cup of offering. The cup runeth over and we have cried too long, under the punishing depths of absence we have lost our way. A void which we have thought would never be filled.

Now the tide is chanting change, I have seen it I have heard it, I beg of you to oil thine earth dusted bodies to wipe clean thine eyes of cries. Adorn your selves with trinkets, glasses and tribute beards.

Step up and rise, cast the pods. Trust brethren that now they shall be filled!
NOW BRETHREN NOW!

Don your tin foil hats and bow to pray unto the coming of the great leader. As the legend tells! we await the great Aeons rupture as the fissures break into a cascading cry! a cheer!. Name him brethren name him!

USTAHAFFEN DANNY BANDEN KLAUSCHAFFEN WALLACE HAGER!!!!!!!

He who has learnt the weirding way, he who has learnt the power of voice to cast the radio houses asunder.

For too long have they meddled, trying to control that which cannot not be controlled.
Entropy awaits! At long last the void gates crumble the pylons from which the false gods energy are failing. The skies crack with thunderous applause!

I am watching now as the rumbling from beneath, birth the brazen effigies of our X chested Messiah.

NOW IS THE TIME! No longer will the world try as it might to Hold back the great leader from paving a way for new era of radio and culinary, stipulated time based references to essential food intake updates.

Now is their time to quake in their little tiny shiny false radio god boots. They cannot claim the right to the mighty dawning of the X chested god.

Behold as Danny Wallace rides fearlessly and with a bare chested righteous nobility! oiled and loin clothed, chewing upon the fabled spice melange (which incidentally allows him to fold space time to make travelling super quick and easy rendering tube travel obsolete).

The motorways and by lanes quake and shudder. Do not fear the booming voice of our great leader.

Cast your eyes upon his vision.
Cast your eyes upon his mighty steed The fabled cherished carrier of greatness behold the SAND WORM STEVE watch as he strides into audio phonic battle, none shall stand in his way.

What’s that? A peacock? HE TOO SHALL JOIN US!!

With his microphone held high! Aided by Joe Attiwell the psychic queen who has risen from the depths of the finest post production gene pool. Crafted to perfection.

It is Joe who we will see adorning the messiah with golden trinkets.

So that when the sun doth dip we shall see this mighty chariot twinkling gold on the horizon.

It is he who shall boost Danny Wallace’s X chested reverence and bid it reach across the landscape.
So that we might hear this greatest blessing! That we may hear the lessons we have waited so long to hear.

Praise thee great leader

Praise thee bare X beamed chested chariot riding behemoth of power and bringer of change.

Mr Ed Walker ,

Fish Fingers

Once upon a time,a woman fell in love with a fish. Together they had a beautiful son in human
form. The three of them lived in perfect happiness until one day, along came an evil maid of
honour, fishing for wedding favours! She kidnapped the kind-hearted lady’s fish-lover, and amid
all the ruckus, the sweet babe was swept away upon the tide. The fair maiden was left all alone
to live with her broken heart upon dry land once more.
Years later, a plucky lad named Steve is preparing to lead his three-strong gang, The Moths,
against their fierce and powerful rivals, the mighty Butterflies. The odds are stacked against our
hero, but he must bravely stand up for what is right. For the sake of Billericay. For the good of
planet Earth.
[Background soundscape: Birdsong in a park (to include a Chaffinch, a Nuthatch, a
European Robin and a Eurasian Blackcap- NO WOODPIGEONS!) ]
STEVE: Well it's 6pm lads, and no sign of The Butterflies.
STU: I hope those berks turn up soon, it's Big Bobby's bed time in half an hour.
STEVE: I'm popping up for a chat with the wise old wizard of Lake Meadows, he'll know
what to do. You two stay here and keep a lookout.
[Single footsteps walking on a gravel path]
(Singing to self): Watch me... watch me go, well I'm struttin' up ever so slow
STEVE: Hi Wise Wizard, get into the music!
WIZARD: Get into the music Steve. Do you need my help?
STEVE: Yeah, I'm ever so worried because we're supposed to fight The Butterflies
tonight, but we're no match for them. Should we run away?
WIZARD (angrily): NO! RUNNING'S FOR CHUMPS!
(sighing kindly): Only for chumps Steve. So, you're going to rid us of those
ninnyhammers? Moist! Good will prevail if you're in the right place.
STEVE: (cheerfully): Thanks Mr Wizard.
[Single footsteps jogging on a gravel path]

STU: How'd it go Steve?
STEVE: (Confident): Great! He said we'll be o.k if I'm in the right place.
STU: Where's that?
STEVE (crossly): Son of a grizzled skipper! I forgot to ask!
STU: Never mind. Why don't you show us your crisp trick again, calm all our nerves a
bit won't it?
STEVE: O.k, anyone got some crisps?
BIG BOBBY: (Squeaks twice)
STU: Well done Big Bobby. Here you go Steve, close your eyes and feel Big Bobby's
Hula Hoops.
STEVE: (Rustles packet) Hmm, feels like BBQ beef to me, am I right?
BIG BOBBY: (Squeak, squeak)
STEVE: Knew it! I haven't lost my touch.
STU: (Awestruck): Amazing! (Inquiringly):Hey, Steve? Do you remember Joe's
awesome fact from Important Broadcast 25?
[Dreamy sound effect (ascending harp?), then Clip of Joe's first fact from Tell Me
Something I Don't Know on podcast 25 with reverb, then descending harp (for example)
returning us to present]
STU (Inquiringly): Steve? Do you think you might be part fish?
STEVE:Trembling Tortoiseshells! You're right Stu! Now I know what the wizard meant;
my proper place is in the water.
STU: Hurry Steve, The Butterflies are here! (Quietly awestruck): They're so beautiful.
[Fast receding footsteps, splash, ascending swanee whistle]

STEVE: Stu, Big Bobby, look at my lumpy hand, it's becoming a huge fish flipper! I'll use
it to splash those ornamental jackwagons!
[Big splashes, riled mob]
BIG BOBBY: (squeaks quickly 4 times)
STU: You're right Big Bobby, he has ruined their mighty wings! And look, all the
commotion has attracted the Billericay peacock. He's chasing The Butterflies away!
[Peacock chasing angry mob sound effect- the stock one will do fine]
STEVE: Little Burstead!
STU: Hey, Steve! He's on our side this time!
STEVE: Nah man, I mean he's chasing them to Little Burstead, it's just south of here.
STU: Oh. [pause] (Triumphantly): Go touch a donkey Butterflies!
STEVE: They'll not bother us in Billericay again. I can't believe we actually won.
STU: You're the best Steve, we were always going to be the conquerors.

The following day is Important Broadcast day, but one senior listener has overslept. She
awakens in time to hear our Great Leader introduce a new news feature, wherein he briefly
outlines the astonishing events of the previous day. Surmising that the hero of Billericay can be
none other than the sweet child which she lost all those years ago, the lovely lady rushes to be
by his side.
They go for a celebratory meal at the Blue Boar (Steve’s mum pays), then retire to the Moth’s
HQ for a cuppa. Steve’s pet fish goes loopy when it sees his mum, and when he reveals that it
was rescued from a sanctuary for retired table decorations, she sees the truth at once. This is a
second chance at their happy-ever-after. The Ferdinandos are together once again!

Meathands ,

Wonderful scenery!

Emma and I had a lovely stay at the Danny Wallace Important Holiday Cottage. It’s safe to say that I’d never realised Westonzoyland was such a hotbed of peacocks and cheeky cockneys, but now I know!

We lost one day to rain, but thankfully there was a good selection of board games. I’d love to say that we got beyond “Tell me something I don’t know”, but sadly we ran out of time before the facts expired.

Any future visitors should probably exercise some caution, however, as our dog (Little Timmy) got overexcited and ran into the music. We have retired from efforts to retrieve him, and decided to buy a faster dog!

All in all, if I hadn’t lost an eye to one of the peacocks, and if it wasn’t for the cockney’s dubious seafood, the very best holiday we’ve ever had south of Chedzoy!

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