Intersectionality: Being Biracial on a Predominantly White Island Violet Ho

My podcast portrays what it was like for me growing up on Mount Desert Island, and how it forced me to unintentionally other my valid human identity. It made me, quite frankly, scared to accept my biracial-ness. When on the island, I never felt white enough, and when at family reunions, I felt too white. It's taken almost 17 years for me to accept and give recognition to the intersectionality of growing up on a small predominantly white island, being a young woman, and being biracial. Through experiences I have recently had an abundance of time to dissect, I've become more comfortable with my identity and realized how this intersectionality has opened my eyes wider to the scope of systemic racism within our country.

There is no arguing that Mount Desert Island lacks diversity, I used to see this as being horrible because I felt like I had to closet my biracial identity. I blame this on no specific person or interaction I had growing up, but rather a sequence of events. These events consist of comments on my last name that occurred more times than I can count on my hands; then, when I got older more specific stabs toward my race that was meant to be just a “joke” but made me subconsciously feel like I needed to hide my Chinese identity on the island. My defense was always “but I'm mostly white” every single time me being Asian was brought to the table. I now recognize that the lack of diversity fostered this need to be whitewashed inside me because compared to most - not all, but to the majority of this Island, I am not white.

My choice to express my intersectionality through a podcast was fueled by my incapability to express my feelings in words. Throughout the past year, there have been a lot of times where I have tried to share why what someone is doing is hurting me, however, I have been unable to express these feelings as my responses always come out as complete word vomit. I am an internal sorter of my issues, meaning I spend a lot of time thinking about my experiences, but I am unable to talk about or dissect these experiences without becoming a complete emotional wreck. When this project came along, I thought there was no better time and place to push myself and share personal experiences that have reflected my intersectionality. There has been a weight lifted off my shoulder as for the first time in my 17 years of life I have told my truth without breaking into tears.

Finally, I want to disclaim that my very small experiences with racism are not comparable to the racism other minorities, and fully chinese people face outside, and within our community on Mount Desert Island and the United States. I am here doing this because I am eager to shed light on the fact that MDI is not a safe haven from discrimination against, and silencing of People of Color. I am extremely privileged with the racial ambiguity that has given me a chance to live both lives as I have the privileges akin to white people, but I am not immune to being personally hurt by the racist jabs and slurs toward the Chinese American community.