Small Jar Podcast - The Ride to the Empty Nest Jennifer Collins

I have learned two incredibly important lessons over the past few years. And these lessons have made my own transition to having a child in college so much easier. Raising teens can feel challenging. We simply want to help them be safe, happy and successful...and yet, this seems to become increasingly difficult as our teens grow up. But even when our kids don't want our help, or when we recognize that there is little that we can do actually make them happy when they're struggling, it can be terrifying to let go of our desire (maybe even our need) to make things better. In this episode, I explore two lessons that changed everything for me...and they may surprise you.

"The only scarier than change is regret." Oof. I don't know who first said this, but for us moms of teens, this hits home. Our lives are constantly changing. Teens growing up. Pulling away. Facing new challenges. We are approaching a time when our kids will no longer be around as much. These changes can be scary. But often, we find ourselves stuck in guilt and regret about the past. Our parenting style and the way we've chosen to raise our kids. Our love lives. Career choices and sacrifices. Our personal identity and self-care. Regret often starts with a belief that somehow the present would be different...better...if only I had made different choices in the past. But my friend, this regret isn't helping you move forward. It's keeping you stuck. Join me as I explore why regret might be the one thing you need to let go.

What is a "Managed Mindset?"  It's the antidote for the Worry Mindset, the Validation-Seeking Mindset, the Judgment Mindset, and the Fix It Mindset. Our subconscious brains fall into mindset traps all the time in an effort to keep us safe.  This is normal. But if we don't recognize this - if we don't supervise our minds, then we end up stuck in painful emotions -- anxiety, anger, shame, guilt, and overwhelm. When you are able to manage your mind, you can overcome these mindset traps and find peace and confidence, even when the world around you is in turmoil. Having a Managed Mindset means taking control of your emotional well-being.

This is the fourth in the series on the Mindset Trap Types that we can fall into as moms navigating life with teens and the transition from motherhood to the empty nest, what I call the empty nest straddle. In this episode, I explore the "Judgment Mindset Type". My friend, we all judge. We judge others, we judge our lives and how we think they "should be", we judge ourselves. And we also judge ourselves for judging all of it!  Join me in this episode as I explore what part of judgment is actually a trap, and what part is a sign that our minds are functioning perfectly.

This is the third in the series on the Mindset Trap Types that we can fall into as moms navigating life with teens and the transition from motherhood to the empty nest, what I call the empty nest straddle. In this episode, I explore the "Validation-Seeking Mindset Type". Think controlling, mom-guilt, focusing on the negative, and taking responsibility to fix all of it. There is a reason that we fall into these traps that create frustration, anger, guilt and anxiety for us, and it's not because there's something wrong with you! Join me to take a deeper diver into understanding these traps so that you can break free and find peace.

I wanted to take a big step back to give you a bit of perspective on how I approach the journey of mindset work, both in my own life and in my work with clients.  And because I think it can be helpful to think of these things in terms of acronyms, I came up with the LOVE Technique. Here's what it means. L – is to Learn about how your mind creates your emotions and results. O - Observe your own mind in action as the watcher. V - Verify through your own observations the impact of your mindset. E - Empower yourself to decide to create the results you want in your life. Joins me as I break this technique down and share insight into my Mom 2.0 coaching process.