IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Lana Manikowski
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IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

I am an infertility survivor—the kind you never hope to become: childless. After enduring multiple rounds of IUI and IVF at some of the leading fertility centers, I was advised to discontinue treatment. When my fertility journey ended, I was offered no resources to help me navigate the reality of an unexpected childless life. I was left asking: So now what? In the years that followed, I tried to convince myself I’d be OK, but I wasn’t. I felt shattered, alone, and failed—not just by the process but by my own body. I longed for someone who truly understood the pain I felt, a guide to help me navigate a life without children. But I couldn’t find it. So, I decided to create it. Today, I am still childless, but I’ve redefined what that means. I’ve learned that a meaningful and purposeful life is possible, even without motherhood. I’ve learned to love myself and embrace the body I once felt had let me down. Through my certification in life coaching and my own transformation, I’ve discovered tools and insights that helped me thrive—and I’m here to share them with you on The "So Now What?" Podcast. If you’ve been on this journey, join me as we build what we were never offered: a sisterhood for the bravest women I know. Together, we’ll rewrite the narrative, shedding labels like failed, unexplained, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, not-viable, or advanced maternal age. Follow me on Instagram: @lana.manikowski for resources, inspiration, and opportunities to live a fulfilling life without the children you dreamed of.

  1. 6 DAYS AGO · VIDEO

    Thrive Without Children – Because You CAN

    If your fertility journey didn’t lead to motherhood, it’s easy to feel like everything else is just second best. After years of IVF, IUI, and trying everything to have a baby, you never imagined navigating a life without children. And now, instead of embracing the opportunities in front of you, you might feel stuck, wondering if true joy, fulfillment, and connection are even possible for you. But here’s the truth: You CAN create a life that feels meaningful, fulfilling, and deeply connected because you CAN. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, I’m sharing how my recent injury and surgery forced me to shift my focus from what I can’t do to what I can and how this same mindset shift is essential for embracing your life after infertility. Too many women who are childless after infertility struggle to see the gifts available to them. You might hold back from fully living, believing nothing could ever measure up to motherhood. But when you start doing things because you CAN instead of focusing on what’s missing, you’ll begin to create a life that feels aligned, purposeful, and truly yours. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: ✔️ Why it’s so easy to overlook the opportunities available to you after infertility ✔️ How my experience recovering from surgery helped me reframe what’s possible ✔️ How to stop treating your life as a backup plan and start embracing it fully ✔️ The simple shifts that help you find joy, fulfillment, and meaning without guilt ✔️ How I help my clients in Thrive After Infertility create lives that feel truly theirs You don’t have to stay stuck in the feeling that life without children is less than what it could have been. The things you CAN do, the dreams you CAN pursue, the adventures you CAN take, the ways you CAN show up for yourself are not second best. They are your life. And when you begin to truly live because you CAN, everything starts to shift. Resources & Next Steps for Your Journey: 📖 My new book, So Now What?, is coming out in April! Enter to win a free signed copy here 📞 Book a free Thrive Call to start creating a life you love without the children you dreamed of. Schedule here The Other's Day Brunch is May 10, 2025 in Chicago.  Click here to get on the waitlist! 📩 Download my free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond).  Get it here 📲 Follow me on social media for daily inspiration: Instagram → @lana.manikowski TikTok → @lana.manikowski 🎧 Catch up on past episodes of The So Now What? Podcast. Listen here If this episode resonates with you, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. And if you haven’t yet, leaving a review helps more women find this space and know they are not alone. Until next time, remember: You CAN create a life you love because you CAN. 💛

    11 min

  2. FEB 18

    If Not Now, When? Moving Forward After Infertility and IVF

    Have you been living in a holding pattern—waiting, hoping, and unsure of when you’ll finally start living again? For years, infertility treatments dictated your schedule. You held off on vacations, skipped girls’ weekends, and put projects on pause, thinking, Maybe by then, I’ll be pregnant. Maybe I’ll have a baby. But now, fertility treatments are behind you, and you’re still feeling stuck. You have ideas of what you could do—remodeling a room, traveling, learning something new—but the energy just isn’t there to start. Why? In this episode, we’re breaking down the three biggest reasons why moving forward can feel paralyzing when you are childless after infertility: 1️⃣ Fear – Making plans for your future feels like closing the door on motherhood, and that’s terrifying. 2️⃣ Comparison – Nothing seems as meaningful as motherhood was supposed to be, so you tell yourself it’s not even worth trying. 3️⃣ Overwhelm – You don’t know where to start, so you keep waiting for the “right time.” But if not now… when? I recently worked with a coaching client who felt this exact way. She had things she wanted to do—remodeling her bathroom, planting a garden, traveling more with her husband—but nothing was on the calendar. It all just felt big. So we mapped it out. What mattered most? What was her first step? When did she want to start? And suddenly, it didn’t feel so overwhelming anymore. This is exactly what we do inside the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind. One of the three core pillars of the program is owning your time—because when you start making intentional choices about how to fill your days, you stop feeling lost in your own life. ✨ Want more guidance? My upcoming book, So Now What?, has an entire chapter dedicated to planning your future in a way that feels meaningful and fulfilling. I’m giving away 10 free signed copies, and you can enter to win using the link in my show notes or by heading to my bio on Instagram or TikTok. And if you’re ready to take action, book a free Thrive Call with me. We’ll create a personalized plan to help you stop waiting and start moving forward. The time to start is now. 🎧 Listen now, and let’s get you out of that holding pattern! 🔗 Resources Mentioned: 🎁 Enter to Win a Free Copy of My Book: click here 📖 Grab My Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) 🤍 Book a Free Thrive Call: https://calendly.com/lanamanikowski/strategy-session You don’t have to wait for your life to start. The question is: If not now, when?

    10 min

  3. FEB 12

    Infertility and Self-Blame: It’s Time to Let Go

    Infertility and Self-Blame: It’s Time to Let Go of Guilt After IVF and Fertility Treatments Failed Have you ever found yourself questioning every decision you made on your fertility journey? Wondering if you should have started trying sooner, chosen a different doctor, lost more weight, or pursued another round of IVF? If self-blame has become a constant companion after infertility and failed fertility treatments, you are not alone. So many women who are childless after infertility carry a heavy burden of guilt, believing that somehow, they could have done something differently to change the outcome. But here’s the truth: infertility was never your fault. You did the best you could with the information, resources, and circumstances you had at the time. Blaming yourself isn’t helping - it’s keeping you stuck. It’s time to stop carrying the weight of guilt and start moving toward a future that feels fulfilling, even without the children you dreamed of. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: 💔 Why infertility and self-blame go hand in hand—and how to break free from the cycle of guilt 💬 The most common thoughts women have after failed IVF and fertility treatments—and why they aren’t true 🔗 How guilt impacts your relationships, marriage, and self-worth—and how to rebuild confidence ✨ The truth about control—why infertility was never in your hands and why it's time to let go of the illusion that you could have changed the outcome 🌱 How to release self-blame and start moving forward—without the weight of infertility guilt holding you back You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck in Guilt If infertility has left you feeling like you failed, it’s time for a new perspective. You are not broken. Your worth is not measured by motherhood. And most importantly—you don’t have to carry this guilt alone. If you’re ready to move forward and release the blame you’ve been holding onto, I invite you to join me for a free Thrive Call. This is your opportunity to talk about where you are, how self-blame is impacting your life, and what it would feel like to finally let it go. Together, we’ll create a plan to help you take the first step toward a future that feels meaningful, even without the children you longed for. 🔗 Schedule your free call here: Book a Thrive Call Exciting News! 📖 My book So Now What? launches on April 2nd! I need your help choosing the final back cover design. Head over to my Instagram (@lana.manikowski), check out my latest reels, and vote for your favorite. I’m also giving away signed copies—stay tuned for details on how to enter! 💌 FREE RESOURCE: If you’ve ever struggled with what to say when people make insensitive comments about your childlessness, I have something for you. Download The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond) for free: Get Your Copy here! You Are More Than Your Fertility Journey Infertility and failed fertility treatments may have shaped your past, but they do not define your future. It’s time to release the blame, let go of the guilt, and start embracing the life that is waiting for you. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Your story is not over—it’s just beginning. 💛 🎧 Listen now and take the first step toward healing, self-acceptance, and a future filled with possibility.

    13 min

  4. FEB 5

    Handling Pity When You’re Infertile and Childless

    How to Handle Pity When You’re Childless After Infertility If you’ve ever felt the sting of someone’s pity—whether it’s the sad look, the heavy sigh, or the “I just feel so bad for you” comment—you’re not alone. When you’ve been through fertility treatments like IVF and IUI, only to walk away without the child you dreamed of, the last thing you need is for others to make you feel like your life is something to mourn. In this episode of The ‘So Now What?’ Podcast, we’re talking about how to recognize and process both your own feelings of sorrow and the misplaced pity that others place on you. If you’ve struggled with feeling like people see your life as incomplete because you’re childless—not by choice—this conversation is for you. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: 💔 Why feeling sorry for yourself sometimes is okay—and how to move forward without guilt. 🧠 How to stop internalizing other people’s pity—so you don’t start believing their sadness for you. 👀 Why people pity childless women—and how their words are often more about them than you. 🗣️ How to confidently respond when people say things like “I wish you could have had a baby”—without feeling like you have to justify your happiness or explain your sadness. Your life is not something to be pitied. If you’ve ever felt the weight of infertility, failed IVF, and the unexpected reality of a childless future, I want you to know—there is still so much for you. You can create a meaningful, fulfilling life, even though it looks different than you expected. And if you don’t know what that looks like yet? That’s what I help with. Book a free Thrive Call and let’s create a plan that helps you move forward—so you feel connected to your future instead of stuck in the loss of a dream. Links & Resources: 📖 My Book So Now What? is Coming Soon!—Want updates on the release? Click here. 📞 Book a Free Thrive Call—Let’s create a plan to help you thrive after infertility: Schedule here. 📩 Join My Email List—Get exclusive deals on Thrive After Infertility and weekly encouragement: Sign up here. 🗂️ Download My Free Guide: 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond)—So you can handle these conversations with confidence: Get it here. You are not alone, and your story is far from over. Let’s release the weight of pity and start embracing what’s next.

    14 min

  5. JAN 28

    Feeling Left Out of the Mom Club

    Do you feel like you don’t belong because you’re not part of the "parent club"? Maybe you’ve noticed friendships shift as kids come into the picture, or you’ve caught yourself feeling excluded from conversations or outings. That sting of being left out is real, and it often taps into a much deeper wound—the grief of the dream of motherhood that didn’t come true. In this week’s episode of The 'So Now What?' Podcast, we’re unpacking this tender topic: Why parenthood seems to create a natural “club” that can leave you feeling like an outsider. How feelings of exclusion connect to the grief of childlessness after infertility. Personal stories of navigating shifting friendships and feeling left out of social circles. Strategies to stop taking it personally—even when it still stings. How to find connection and meaning on your own terms, without needing to fit into the “parent club.” You’ll leave this episode with a new perspective, encouragement to rebuild relationships authentically, and a reminder that your life and connections are deeply meaningful—just as they are. 💌 Never miss an episode! Sign up for my Love Letters and get each new episode delivered straight to your inbox. Click here  🎧 Listen now and discover how to feel confident and connected—even without kids. 📅 Upcoming Free Masterclass: Join me this Thursday, January 30, at 6 PM CT for How to Confidently Navigate Things People Say When You Are Childless. Learn how to handle intrusive questions and unsolicited advice with confidence and ease. Save your spot here: Register now. ✨ Ready to thrive? Book a free 45-minute Thrive Call with me and let’s create a personalized plan to move forward into a fulfilling future. Schedule your call. The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and how to respond): Download your free copy here! Stay connected with me: 📩 Sign up for Love Letters 📅 Register for the Masterclass 📞 Book Your Thrive Call 📱 Instagram: @lana.manikowski 📹 YouTube: Lana Manikowski 🎵 TikTok: @lana.manikowski #ChildlessNotByChoice #NavigatingInfertility #LifeAfterInfertility #YouAreEnough #ThriveAfterInfertility #SoNowWhatPodcast

    15 min

  6. JAN 21

    Time Doesn't Heal the Ache of Childlessness

    Episode Summary: Many people believe that time will naturally heal the pain of being childless after infertility, but what if that isn’t true? In this episode of The 'So Now What?' Podcast, Lana dives into a powerful story shared by a woman in her 60s, who has spent decades hoping time would ease the ache of childlessness—only to find herself still struggling with the same feelings of disconnection and loss. Through this heartfelt and thought-provoking conversation, Lana unpacks why the belief that "time heals all wounds" can keep you feeling stuck and disconnected from the life you deserve. She explains how our brains use defense mechanisms to protect us from disappointment but often hold us back from creating the lives we truly want. Lana also shares her own pivotal moment of realizing that the life she was living wasn’t the one she wanted and how taking intentional steps—rather than waiting for time to heal her—changed everything. What You'll Learn in This Episode: Why the idea that "time will heal" might not be enough to overcome the ache of childlessness. How fear of disappointment keeps us stuck in a comfort zone that feels anything but comfortable. The power of deciding to create the life you want, even when it looks nothing like the life you envisioned. Real-life examples of women who moved from just "getting by" to thriving in their childless lives. Connect with Lana: Website: www.LanaManikowski.com Instagram: @LanaManikowski Join the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Learn More Book a Thrive Call: Schedule Here Take the Next Step: If you’ve been telling yourself that time will eventually heal your wounds but still feel stuck, it’s time to take action. Imagine feeling confident, joyful, and connected one year from now. The life you want is possible—if you’re ready to stop waiting and start creating it today. Don’t let another year pass by without taking a step toward thriving. Listen to this episode and discover how to begin your journey toward a fulfilling, childless life. Share This Episode: If this episode resonated with you or someone you know, share it on social media or send it directly to a friend who might need this message. Let’s keep the conversation going and support one another in thriving after infertility.

    13 min

  7. JAN 14

    The Infertility Blame Game: Letting Go and Thriving

    In this week’s episode of The So Now What? Podcast, we’re diving into a deeply relatable topic: the habit of self-blame when things don’t go as planned—especially when it comes to your fertility journey. If you’ve ever poured your heart and soul into IVF treatments, followed every protocol, and still didn’t achieve the outcome you dreamed of, this episode is for you. Drawing parallels from a recent personal experience, I share how easy it is to feel like you’ve fallen short despite doing everything right. You’ll learn why blaming yourself only deepens the hurt and how to shift your focus toward celebrating your efforts instead of dwelling on what didn’t work out. I’ll also share stories of women like you who have stopped measuring their worth by outcomes beyond their control and started creating meaningful milestones in their lives. From rediscovering old passions to building a life that feels true and fulfilling, you’ll hear what’s possible when you choose to stop shaming yourself and start showing up as your own greatest supporter. Key Takeaways: Why self-blame feels natural after infertility but ultimately holds you back. The connection between shame and your sense of self-worth. How to rewrite the narrative of what success and fulfillment look like without children. The transformative power of compassion in how you speak to yourself. Resources Mentioned: Free Resource: Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond. Ready to Take the Next Step? If this resonates with you, book a free Thrive Call. In just 45 minutes, we’ll create a plan to help you feel more fulfilled and confident about the future. Click here to book your Thrive Call now. Connect With Me: Instagram: @lanamanikowski YouTube: Lana Manikowski TikTok: @lanamanikowski You’ve worked so hard already—it’s time to create a life that makes you feel proud of who you are. 💜

    13 min

  8. JAN 9

    Infertility and Creating a Fulfilling Future

    Welcome to The So Now What? Podcast with Lana Manikowski. In this episode, we kick off the new year by exploring a life-changing question: How long are you willing to wait to believe that something is possible for you? If you’ve left fertility treatments without the child you dreamed of—or if you’re feeling stuck in the aftermath of your infertility journey—this episode is for you. You'll hear: Why dreaming again can feel impossible after infertility and how to shift that mindset. How to stop anchoring your future to the pain and disappointment of your past. What it means to reconnect with the version of you that exists today—a childless, determined woman capable of creating new dreams. The transformative question that helped Lana move forward and create a fulfilling, childless life. Lana also introduces you to the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, a 12-week program designed to help you reconnect with who you are today and build a life that feels meaningful without the milestones of motherhood. If support groups leave you feeling stuck, this growth-oriented program could be what you need to start thriving. 🎯 Take the first step: Book a free, 45-minute Thrive Call with Lana to create a personalized plan for your next chapter. No strings attached. 🌟 Plus, don’t miss Lana’s free resource: "The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless—and How to Respond." Download it at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay. Your dreams are still possible, and your future can feel fulfilling again. Tune in to this episode to take the first step toward believing in what’s possible for you. 💌 Connect with Lana: Website: LanaManikowski.com Instagram: @LanaManikowski YouTube: @lana.manikowski Podcast: Subscribe to The So Now What? Podcast wherever you listen. ✨ Remember: It's never too late to discover your meaning.

    12 min
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About

I am an infertility survivor—the kind you never hope to become: childless. After enduring multiple rounds of IUI and IVF at some of the leading fertility centers, I was advised to discontinue treatment. When my fertility journey ended, I was offered no resources to help me navigate the reality of an unexpected childless life. I was left asking: So now what? In the years that followed, I tried to convince myself I’d be OK, but I wasn’t. I felt shattered, alone, and failed—not just by the process but by my own body. I longed for someone who truly understood the pain I felt, a guide to help me navigate a life without children. But I couldn’t find it. So, I decided to create it. Today, I am still childless, but I’ve redefined what that means. I’ve learned that a meaningful and purposeful life is possible, even without motherhood. I’ve learned to love myself and embrace the body I once felt had let me down. Through my certification in life coaching and my own transformation, I’ve discovered tools and insights that helped me thrive—and I’m here to share them with you on The "So Now What?" Podcast. If you’ve been on this journey, join me as we build what we were never offered: a sisterhood for the bravest women I know. Together, we’ll rewrite the narrative, shedding labels like failed, unexplained, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, not-viable, or advanced maternal age. Follow me on Instagram: @lana.manikowski for resources, inspiration, and opportunities to live a fulfilling life without the children you dreamed of.

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