Coming Out + Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories Anne-Marie Zanzal

Erika and Layla Quinones are an married couple who started an annual Pride celebration in their small town of Pulaski, TN. What began as a plan to welcome about 40 people to a potluck with a few vendors turned out to be an event that drew over 1300 visitors to the community. Pulaski has the dubious distinction of being the community where the KKK, a far-right terrorist organization, was formed in 1865. Erika and Layla, an inter-racial couple, quickly found themselves in the spotlight, garnering praise and support, but also hatred from the community. Tune in and listen to their story, as host Anne-Marie Zanzal asks about their coming out experiences, what it's like being a queer, racialized couple in small-town Tennessee, and their successes and challenges in starting Pulaski Pride.
To volunteer or donate and support Pulaski Pride, visit pulaskipride.online
A song that is special to Erika and Layla is She Keeps Me Warm by Mary Lambert. Listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/NhqH-r7Xj0E?si=HKhMftGvDwXG5HOp
A movie that was impactful to Layla in her youth was Bound, starring Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115736/



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Resiliency is the theme of this week's episode as host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes speaker and author, Marcie Macari. Marcie's life story has been a master class in resiliency, as she has faced numerous extraordinary challenges, which includes being abandoned and stranded in South Africa with her infant daughter after being shunned by her ex-husband and Christian ministry. Marcie's coming out and acceptance journey spans decades, culminating to her present-day reality of living a joyful and fulfilled life as an out and proud lesbian. Marcie uses her skills and experience to train others to build their resilience and lives by the motto that has become integral to her personal brand: "Bounce, Don't Break."
Find Marcie on TikTok, Instagram, and LinkedIn as @ Marcie Macari.


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Over a quarter of adults are estranged from their parents. One of the greatest concerns that people face when coming out later in life is estrangement from their children. In this week's episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes back guest Miriam Grace for a vulnerable discussion on parent/child estrangement - an often untalked about subject. This is a must-listen episode for anyone who is experiencing estrangement from their children and especially for mothers who, as a consequence of societal expectations of what makes a good mother, are guaranteed at some point to disappoint their children. In this illuminating episode, Anne-Marie and Miriam unpack what those societal expectations are, why estrangement is so painful for later-in-life LGBTQIA+ parents, how mothers bear the load of emotional caretaking for their families, how estrangement impacts surrounding family members, the grief process and getting the help you need to find strength and move forward with your life.
You can find Miriam Grace online at https://blue-skies.org.uk/
For further reading on this topic, check out this NY Times article and and this blog piece on The Hill.


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Krista Oakes is a certified yoga and meditation teacher specializing in working with beginners and seniors. She teaches gentle and chair yoga classes in Daytona Beach, Florida and nationally, online.  Krista leads group wellness retreats and teaches yoga and meditations to corporations. Her classes focus on safety, proper body alignment, mindfulness, and trusting oneself. Krista's approach to teaching integrates the mindfulness of meditation, lifestyle coaching, and the compassionate approach of Kripalu yoga rooted in faith and spirituality, with humor sprinkled throughout. Krista received her BA from Muhlenberg College where she first discovered the thrill of expressing herself through writing. As a yoga teacher, she enjoys reconnecting with that joy through blogging and communicating with her students. In January 2024, Krista published her first book, Shedding Shame: Finding Freedom to Live an Authentic Life, where she takes the reader on a journey through her life's challenges. She shares about being a child growing up with gay parents, losing her dad to AIDS, and the shame of her marriage full of dysfunction and mental illness which ended in divorce. Krista shares her path to unravel the shame that held her back, where's she's been, and how she's gotten to where she is today, living her best, authentic life. 
Learn more about Krista's gentle yoga programs here: https://www.daytonayogawithkrista.com/
You can find Krista's book, Shedding Shame: Finding Freedom to Live an Authentic Life here: https://www.daytonayogawithkrista.com/sheddingshame
Krista's "coming out" song is Defying Gravity from the musical Wicked: https://youtu.be/MslDnwerQRA?si=ip60m30HHGF0d02N
Two books that have influenced Krista are Daring Greatly by Brené Brown https://brenebrown.com/book/daring-greatly/
and Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33516773-big-little-lies


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Fellow later-in-lifer and Philadelphia-based therapist Mallory Hanfling is our special guest on this episode of CO&B. Her practice, Courage to Grow Counseling, caters to the Queer community, working with individuals and couples, specializing in identity development, coming out, communication skills, and connecting with one's most authentic self. Mallory is a doctoral student at the California Institute for Integral Studies (CIIS) working towards a PhD in Human Sexuality, working on a dissertation about how community mitgates the impact of compulsory heterosexuality on those who come out later-in-life. Mallory coined the inclusive term "Fireflies" for women/ non-binary/trans people to encapsulate a spectrum of identities and experiences reflected in the later-in-life community. Mallory offers a weekly Firefly peer support group where Fireflies at various stages of their journeys can come together to support and empower one another through the highs and lows of their experiences. 
You can learn more about Mallory and her work on her website, https://www.couragetogrowcounseling.org/about
Books that resonated with Mallory are Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52129515 and Bossy Pants by Tina Fey https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/167987272-bossy-pants?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=zHsUsI2...
Mallory's coming out song is Drive by Incubus. https://youtu.be/fgT9zGkiLig?si=g98J8LJ24IjUvXBm


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Lesbian dating – specifically when a long-time out lesbian dates a newly out lesbian – is the topic of this week's episode, featuring guest conversationalist, Tonda McKay. In addition to being an award-winning photographer and community advocate, Tonda holds a very special role of distinction: she is wife to podcast host, Anne-Marie Zanzal! Tonda and Anne-Marie met just as Anne-Marie was beginning her coming out/divorce journey. In this engaging episode, Tonda and Anne-Marie talk about the benefits and challenges of the long-out/newly out dating dynamic, the hurdles they have overcome, and the rewards of perservering through what can sometimes be characterized as a difficult pairing of long-out/newly out lesbians. This is an episode that will be of great interest to anyone who is embarking on a dating journey later in life!
Tonda McKay earned her bachelor's degree in photography at Middle Tennessee State University and has been a professional corporate photographer for over 35 years. She has worked for several Fortune 500 companies, including Philips/Magnavox and DESU, LLC. While working at Philips she received two ADDY awards, which recognizes and rewards the creative spirit of excellence in the art of advertising. In 2001, her coffee table book, A City In Harmony, on Nashville was published. This was a two year collaborative project with the Nashville Chamber of Commerce. Tonda also won several national magazine awards (Best Cover - National Magazine Association) for her editorial work on Business Nashville and Nashville LifeStyle. While architectural photography (including Matterport 3D Imaging) and drone photography is her niche now, Tonda has worked in every imaginable area of photography, from jewelry, furniture, editorial & photojournalism. Tonda likes to say there isn’t anything she hasn’t done in photography and she still enjoys learning new processes and information. She has gone from shooting on an 8x10 view camera to HDR digital photography. She believes photography is ever changing and it is always a journey of learning and growth. When not photographing Tonda enjoys kayaking, travel, and of course scenic photography.
To learn more about Tonda and her work as a photographer, visit https://tondamckay.com/
A song that has special meaning to Tonda are 'She Keeps Me Warm' by Mary Lambert. https://youtu.be/NhqH-r7Xj0E?si=1c3fLiKIE5Rogo0T
A book that has impacted Tonda and she recommends to others is 'Another Mother Tongue' by Judy Grahn. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/64767


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