86 episodes
The Art of We Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer
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- Society & Culture
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5.0 • 24 Ratings
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As a leader who deeply cares about your contribution and impact on the world, what if you were told that achieving the next level of success with your team, business and family won't be found through signing up for yet another training, expensive mastermind, or who's-who networking event. What if the key to your potential sits across from you at your breakfast table every morning?
Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer are husband and wife, business partners, and hosts of The Art of We, a podcast that explores how committed partnerships can be potent vehicles for fully delivering our gifts to the world.
As seasoned leaders, educators, and entrepreneurs, they know that the key to their greatest success out in the world lies inside the health, security, and depth of their relationship. The more skilled and secure their partnership, the greater capacity each has to step into their fullest authenticity and potential.
On this show, they will share lessons from their marriage and professional careers that help them thrive. They’ll share where they get stuck, how they overcome challenges, and they’ll dialogue with thought leaders to broaden the conversation. You’ll leave each episode with practices, tools, inspiration, and conversation topics for the dinner table or your team’s next offsite.
If you’re a leader, founder, or overachiever, and you want to better understand how to leverage your relationships for personal and collective growth, then we invite you to subscribe to The Art of We.
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85. How Will “Called In” Our Relationship
Will shares his journey of waking up on his 40th birthday realizing he didn’t have the kind of relationship he really wanted, and what he uniquely did to eventually call-in his next partner (Krista!) and co-create the kind of partnership they have today. Whether you're single and searching or looking to elevate your current relationship, this episode offers valuable insights and useful advice.
Topics Covered:
Getting Honest: Will's 40th birthday epiphany about wanting a secure-functioning, interdependent relationship.Defining Your Ideal Relationship: Will shares how he clarified and envisioned the specific kind of partnership he wanted.Doing Inner Work: The unique process Will underwent to be ready for a new kind of partnership.Practical Wisdom: Learn about the essential steps Will took, from leaving a long-term marriage to defining a new relationship model with a "mandala" of qualities he desired.Overcoming Challenges: Moving beyond our limiting beliefs.Categories: Dating Advice; Leaving Your Relationship; Calling In The One; Marriage Advice; Relationship Advice, Personal Growth; Divorce Advice
Listen now and continue your journey towards the partnership you deserve!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Resources Mentioned:
Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*** - Mark MansonNo More Mr. Nice Guy - Dr. Robert GloverPACT Couples Therapy
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute:... -
84. Standing For The Kind Of Love You Want
Within our web of vows that help us maintain what we believe is possible in our relationship, gambling everything for the love we want is at the center. In this episode, we unpack what that means for us and how we work to bring forth every aspect of ourselves, even in challenging or uncomfortable conversations.
Unless we take a real stand for the kind of relationship we desire, and then be willing to put everything on the table to give our relationship a chance to live into that stand, we are going to compromise or settle in an unfulfilling partnership.
Although we have a deep commitment to addressing ruptures and impact, we’re not immune to misunderstandings. There’s a level of consciousness inside our relationship where we can recognize the filters that we have for each other. These assumptions and automations not only limit the possibility for deeper connections, and they also have the potential to intensify resentments and wounds.
We share five practices that help us to lay our vulnerability on the table and work through tension. In our conversation, we break down what these five tools are and how they can help you and your partner co-create solutions. Join us as we look at these techniques in action and discuss ways to approach edgy topics within your relationship.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Topics Covered:
Why we don’t agree with the concept of ‘choosing your battles’ Noticing when make assumptions about your partner and where those beliefs come from Having safeguards in place to deal with the consequences of addressing an uncomfortable reality that exists in your relationship Honoring the voice that signals your needs aren’t being met Developing a willingness to to receive feedback and see it as an opportunity for growth
Resources Mentioned:
The Art Of We Weekly Newsletter
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Integrative Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. -
83. Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Partner Exactly The Way They Are
Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer discuss why loving a partner exactly the way they are may not be compatible with growth and support in a relationship. They argue that unconditional love can become a cop-out for not truly supporting one another to step into their greatest potential, and that growth as a couple requires the willingness to acknowledge and address blind spots together.
Listen in to hear about:
The importance of challenging each other to grow and expandWhere couples get stuck in their partnershipCreating the context in relationship to support each other to see blind spotsExamples of how to approach one another with a challengeCommunication skills for healthy relationshipsTaking on the role of holding our partners to live into their greatest expression
Resources Mentioned:
Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Bessel Van Der KolkEpisode on Navigating Introvert-Extrovert Partnership
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We Website3 Game Changing Conversations Every Couple Must HaveThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. -
82. Questions From Oprah – Candid Q&A For Couples
Join us as we explore Oprah's '110 Relationship-Boosting Questions for Couples,' asking each other spontaneous questions that not only led to unexpected insights for us as a couple but also highlighted areas where we need to gain deeper clarity in our intimate partnership.
We get into topics such as:
Is there such a thing as a “harmless” lie?How organized glasses in cupboards helps our relationshipLearning to speak more straight and maintain positive impactVampires vs werewolvesDoes commitment lead to more or less freedom?
This relationship podcast episode with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer has questions for couples to explore around relationship challenges, couples communication and relationship growth as a couple.
Resources Mentioned:
Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Jayson Gaddis InstagramOprah’s List of Questions for Couples
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We Website3 Game Changing Conversations Every Couple Must HaveThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. -
81. Healing After Heartbreaks & Betrayals with Sara Avant Stover
Today we have a special guest to talk about navigating the turbulent waters of heartbreak & betrayals, & the power of grief as a portal for healing & transformation. Sara Avant Stover just came out with her third book “Handbook for the Heartbroken.” We talk about her very personal & vulnerable journey from devastation to rebirth. This conversation is a beacon for anyone wanting to heal & transform from heartbreak.
Listen in for an intimate look into:
Sara's serial heartbreaks across all facets of her life Learning her former fiance was living a duplicitous lifeThe journey of overcoming heartbreaks & transforming from griefThe power of internal family systems (IFS) in addressing deep-seated woundsPractical advice on moving from devastation to rebirth, featuring potent learnings, rituals, & practices that aid in emotional and spiritual recovery.
This episode is not just a dialogue; it's an invitation to understand the transformative potential of grief & the journey towards becoming the person you are meant to be. Whether you're dealing with a fresh wound or an old scar, Sara's story & Krista's parallel grief journey offer a pathway to healing and hope. Join us as we explore how to turn heartbreak into a foundation for profound personal growth & renewal.
Resources Mentioned:
Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Sara’s new book “Handbook for the Heartbroken”Sara’s IG accountSara’s podcast “Her Self”Krista on Sara’s podcast in 2017Episodes 78 & 79 on Duplicitous LivesIFS Richard Schwartz
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We Website3 Game Changing Conversations Every Couple Must HaveThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
Listen to the episode... -
80. When Couples Can’t Stop Arguing
Do you ever get stuck arguing a TON? Or “processing” issues all the time as a couple? If so, this episode is for you! Listen in for strategies to break the cycle of conflict, hear Krista and Will’s personal experiences, and learn practical tools and techniques to disrupt the arguing and to foster better communication and understanding.
[0:00] - Conflict “quality” in relationships
[0:55] - Hosts personal experiences
[1:07] - Pain points in conflicts and advanced communication skills
[6:12] - Relationship agreements for successful outcomes
[7:23] - Strategies for dealing with emotional hijacking
[10:28] - ‘Witnessing awareness’ & its role in managing emotional responses
[14:10] - Practical relationship agreements to aid in conflict resolution
[19:12] - Techniques for co-regulation without conversation
[22:15] - Exploring "smart requests" to improve clarity and effectiveness in communication
[28:03] - Emphasizing the co-creation of ruptures & a growth mindset in relationships
Key Discussion Points
How the quality of your conflict determines the quality of your partnership Techniques like couples therapy, somatic psychotherapy, & psychedelics to navigate through trauma in relationshipsImportance of relational agreements in maintaining a secure partnershipStrategies for self-regulation & co-regulation during intense emotional statesUsing 'smart requests' and pre-emptive understanding of each partner's emotional needsThe value of a growth-oriented mindset in approaching relationship challenges.
Resources Mentioned:
Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements IFS Richard SchwartzInside Out Movie“SMART Goals”
Get in Touch:
The Art Of We Website3 Game Changing Conversations Every Couple Must HaveThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy Training
Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts:
If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/4R7BXjOG9f0ChuFzi4SItg?si=b0f3520d3e264cd0" rel="noopener noreferrer"...
Customer Reviews
A Treasure
I learned about your podcast because of your YWCA sponsorship. What y’all are doing is something that my wife and I had thought about doing based on our individual spiritual commitments. Our theory is that we’ve made it this long (18 years) because, even when we get triggered and go away from each other, our spiritual work basically commands us to return to one another. Our hope has been to translate that for other folks. But, when I learned about your podcast, I kind of thought, “Well who needs us when these folks are out there?” 😉 But, I hadn’t listened yet. Now, after I listened, I still think that. 😅. That’s my first compliment. But, in addition, I want to say that I really appreciate your honesty. I’m about 7 episodes in. And so far, I relate so much to what you all share. Even though, I come from a very different background in almost every way than you two, I appreciate some of the universal themes. I agree that these kinds of relationships have the potential to offer ourselves and the world tremendous gifts. So, I’m glad you’re out there doing your thing. I wish you all continued success.
Fantastic relationship goals
What a great show by a great couple. It’s fantastic to hear two actual grown ups talk about relationships from a first person perspective. Can’t recommend highly enough.
Refreshing Perspective on Relationships and Personal Growth
Krista and Dr. Will challenge conventional notions of success and personal development by highlighting the transformative power of strong partnerships. They have a genuine and relatable approach to not only discussing their own journey, but also the research supporting the concepts and strategies they discuss. If you’re looking for fresh insights and practical guidance on how to unlock your potential through partnership, The Art of We is the show for you!