Alchemy For Life Author Mark Bradford

Stroke support Group







Recently, I sat in on a stroke support group. The group was for both the individuals who experienced strokes as well as their caretakers/family members. I had the blessing of the admin staff to do so. Was it uncomfortable? Yes did I feel out of place? Sort of. Did I learn something very powerful? Absolutely. I always do.







Comfort zone







We all stay in our comfort zones because they are, well, comfortable. Sometimes that discomfort is really quite a rush because it tells you you are in new territory and about to learn something. And I did.







The lesson







The powerful lesson I learned wasn’t from someone who had one, two, or even three strokes. It was from a dear lady who had had seven. Along with her support dog, she brought an iPad. She was clever enough to type up the things she wanted to share with the group a staff member read her experiences and they were shared. But unfortunately, those were quickly used up and she had far more to contribute. So she began slowly typing but then she noticed the room of silence waiting for her to finish. As her frustration mounted, she decided she would speak.







When she did, she did methodically, with a lot of effort, and with very few words. She seemed to make each one count, but for her she didn’t feel she was conveying thoughts in the same way everyone else did, so she apologized. She did so by moving her hand to her chest, then her mouth, and then her eye while she said “Sorry, talk hard.”







She needn’t have apologized for you see, I could understand her perfectly and I’m sure everyone else could as well. Despite what she thought, she was doing great! In fact, the problem wan’t that she wasn’t using enough words, it’s that we use too many.







Saying much with so little







So the next time you communicate with others—clients, your boss, your employees, potential clients, friends, and family and loved ones. Remember this lesson.







Phrases like:







“I’d love to help you.”







I’m glad you’re my client.”







“You’re important.”







“I’d like to get paid now“







“I need help.”







and







“I love you.”







Those phrases convey so much with just a few words.







I’m Mark Bradford, I’m glad you read this, and you’re important to me.

Knowing your strengths







Do you know your strengths some people do and some people don’t. If you do know your strengths, there is something about them. You may not realize and that’s the subject of this podcast.







Stretching too far







Sometimes when we approach a goal or a task, we look for a way to do it that makes sense. We learn new skills and get better at our approach.







Just keep doing it!







Push harder and harder!







That’s pretty straightforward, but sometimes we encounter things that seem very counterintuitive and this is one of them… it can be disorienting and frustrating to discover it.







What if you push too hard? What’s the downside?







Listen in for what this means, how to recognize it, and the good news of what happens when you do.







It’s one of the most powerful life lessons I’ve understood. And it all comes from a simple phrase.







A strength stretched too far becomes a weakness.

What is an iteration?







An iteration is an updated version of something built upon its previous version. But, and iteration can also be another separate version.







Examples of iterations







When someone bakes a cake, they can create a cake that has chocolate filling, vanilla frosting, and multicolor sprinkles on the outside. They can assess that cake and then realize that it would be better with raspberry filling, so they go back and create another cake with those parameters. Even though they’ve created two separate cakes—the second cake is an iteration of the first.







When someone works on a video or a movie, they have the benefit of being able to iterate that work product. They can add, delete, and adjust sections of the movie. They can apply a filter to specific instances of scenes or people. However, its the same movie. In the end everyone only sees the final product.







Kinda like you?















How we iterate







We live life iteratively. We can’t create duplicates of ourselves, but we do build upon the foundation of the past. Like the movie producer, we are able to add delete and adjust aspects of ourselves.















Let’s talk about how we live life iteratively, and what that means for us, improving ourselves, our relationships, and even our client connections.

Type A Personalities







The phrase type a refers to a pattern of behavior and personality associated with high achievement, competitiveness, and impatience. Does this sound like you? Does this sound like most C-level employees? Does this sound like most entrepreneurs and creatives? If you’re listening to this podcast you most likely are.















Productivity and meaning







You probably derive a lot of meaning from your productivity. You push harder and harder. Many people immerse themselves in their career and blink and then suddenly it’s 20+ years later.







And they have to retire.







And that word is terrifying. Why? Because you found meaning in what you’ve done and now you’re not allowed to do it anymore. And it has become your identity. It’s who you are.







Terrifying.







But there is hope and direction. You can still feel the meaning. You may actually find more meaning in this new direction.







Check out Job, Career or Calling for more insights into how this all works. And let’s chat for 10 minutes.









* Productivity and obligations are just that – obligations.







* If what you do for a living (productivity) also fits in one or more columns (learning, fun, health, etc) then it becomes more meaningful. It’s no longer a job or even career. It’s much more.







* Your career can become your identity, and when you lose the ability to perform that job (retirement) it can feel like you are losing your identity.







* You’ll find that the most meaningful things in your life fit in more than one column of the balance sheet







* You can not only take a turn, but bloom into a bigger flower for the thing that brings you not only meaning, but joy (and get paid for it).

White Space







The first known use of ‘White Space’ was back in 1946, and it means the area of a page without writing or pictures. It’s the part between the words, the part that allows us to pause and consider. it allows us to compartmentalize one set of thoughts from another.







Social Media and the looooooong post







Have you ever noticed posts on social media sometimes people post a few words, hit a couple hard returns, then say a few more until the post is about a foot tall? They do this to manipulate the way you read it. Each line becomes (presumably) an impactful statement. Guess what they are force-feeding you? That’s right, white space. So instead of a meaningful paragraph separated by some whitespace, you get white space on







every







single







line.







Why saying nothing is as important as saying something







It takes stamina to consume any form of communication whether you are reading a book, listening to an audiobook, a conversation, or watching a speaker. Pauses matter. In fact, sometimes they matter just as much as the words they separate.















Attention spans and the desire to complete sentences







But there is a danger, especially when communicating in person, or in a conversation. If you have ever had thoughtful pauses in a conversation, more often than not, that will be interpreted as confusion, hesitation, lack of confidence, or uncertainty. Those who perceive this will then interrupt you and/or try to complete what they think you want to say. It’s also an open invitation for those that do not feel like they are heard, or have an unbalanced desire to add to the conversation.







Fiction, dialogue and ADHD







Fun fact – when I first started writing (even before I wrote my trilogy years later) I was so fascinated with dialogue that it intimidated me and inspired me to examine it very deeply. When I finally wrote my trilogy (after three nonfictions that did not contain dialogue) I developed a very specific way of writing it. I allowed it to stand on its own. I did not violate any rules of style but did develop a fairly unique way to present it.







The interesting thing is it became second nature and I didn’t think much of it… until a review specifically mentioned it. The review said the book was an easy read. It wasn’t in my humble opinion. it’s a deep slow burn with lots of layers. When I read further I found the review specifically mentioned the layout, and the reviewer explained that he had ADHD and this 400-page book was one of the few he enjoyed reading—because of the white space.







Listen to this episode—it’s got ample white space, and hopefully it gives you something to ponder as to not only how you communicate, but how you stay true to your thoughts.

Coach







So what is a coach? And what is a life coach? “Life Coach” never really generated positive professional images in my mind, even though I’m considered to be one. It appeared out of nowhere and came with baggage. At least to me.







But now it seems that everyone is a coach, and each one has a different flavor. Even those that focus on a very specific task are coaches.







Words







You know I like me them words. We are bombarded with industry buzzwords (see this episode). The right word can make all the difference in the world for a reader or a potential client.







I want to give some food for thought to both coaches and the people that hire them. Let’s talk about Mentors, Guides, Instructors, Teachers…. and Coaches.









* What’s the difference?







* Does using the term “coach” enhance or diminish the perception of potential clients?







* Is your coach a coach, or more of an instructor? Or a teacher? Or…?







* Does the term “Certified instructor” or “Certified coach” carry more weight in your mind?







* Does “Financial Coach” or “Financial Advisor” sound more professional to you?









Let’s talk about it in this open-ended episode.