36 episodes

We sit with survivors of sexual trauma, who share their stories of abuse and healing.

Am I Broken: Survivor Stories Papillon DeBoer

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.7 • 13 Ratings

We sit with survivors of sexual trauma, who share their stories of abuse and healing.

    S4 Ep1 Lindsey - "I Remember Thinking I'm Selling My Soul to the Devil"

    S4 Ep1 Lindsey - "I Remember Thinking I'm Selling My Soul to the Devil"

    Lindsey (she/her) tells her story about being groomed, taken advantage of, and sexually violated by a leader in Canada's psychedelic healing world. Learn how she finally recognized the abuse, and found her way to healing and resolution. In this episode, she asked to use a pseudonym and to have her voice masked, as she says this prominent facilitator is currently pursuing legal action against those who speak out about his abuses.

     Support the podcast at patreon.com/papillondeboer 

    • 37 min
    S3 Ep8 Kat - "I Certainly Lost Faith in People"

    S3 Ep8 Kat - "I Certainly Lost Faith in People"

    Kat (she/her) shares her story of sexual violation during 4 days of a psychedelic therapy session with a well-known clinician. We discuss the healing she was seeking in the first place, the compounding of trauma, and what she both gained and lost from this experience. She requested to use a pseudonym and to have her voice masked to protect her from retaliation by this licensed psychedelic therapist and his organization.

    Support the podcast at patreon.com/papillondeboer

    • 39 min
    S3 Ep7 Red - "I Was Still Gaslighting Myself"

    S3 Ep7 Red - "I Was Still Gaslighting Myself"

    Red (she/her) shares her story of gaslighting and sexualized violation, including nonconsensual impregnation, by a local predator who refers to himself as a "tantric" healer and teacher. We discuss her journey towards believing in herself and her own experience, recognizing the predator's techniques, and breaking free, including testifying against him in court.

    Support the podcast for$5/month at patreon.com/papillondeboer
    Find out more about Papillon's work at agencyofchange.net

    • 53 min
    S3 Ep5 Pat - "This Person Held the Trust of So Many"

    S3 Ep5 Pat - "This Person Held the Trust of So Many"

    Pat (they/them) shares a story long held secret, about their employer and colleague who offered to be their tantric teacher, then lied and manipulated and abused them. Hear how they healed from the trauma of not just that relationship, but also the ejection from that community, and what took them deeper into their own family history and catharsis.

    Support the podcast with $5/month at www.patreon.com/papillondeboer and gain access to some particularly interesting behind the scenes out takes from this episode, and others.

    • 1 hr 1 min
    S3 Ep4 Gabi - "This Has Happened Before"

    S3 Ep4 Gabi - "This Has Happened Before"

    Gabi (she/they) calls out two local perpetrators - a friend and community leader who sexually assaulted her during a massage, and the CEO of a solar power company who sexually harassed and assaulted her. We talk about failed community justice processes, and how telling her story and naming the offenders has given Gabi an increased sense of strength and power.

    Support the podcast at www.patreon.com/papillondeboer

    • 53 min
    S3 Ep3 Elle - "I Have This Connection With Her, And I'm Betraying Her"

    S3 Ep3 Elle - "I Have This Connection With Her, And I'm Betraying Her"

    Elle (she/her) shares her story of a sudden betrayal by her eating disorder therapist, a sexualized violation during their last meeting. She describes the conflict within herself as she receives various feedback from family and friends, and then learning that her other therapist is filing a report against the perpetrator. After a return of previous trauma response behavior, Elle finds her way along her own healing path.

    Support the podcast for $5/month at www.patreon.com/papillondeboer

    • 43 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
13 Ratings

13 Ratings

Laura McK ,

The power of being vulnerable

I have listened to every episode released so far and think Papillon and the brave men who share their stories have done tremendous work through the podcast by giving permission to other survivors to begin the work to understand their experience. The vulnerability of the survivors who tell their stories is incredibly poweful. This is what sets this podcast apart from others that interviews survivors. Plus, Papillon does a great job supporting and guiding the people telling their stories, and then explaining abusers behavior or the ways abuse sets in motion deeply held beliefs for survivors that can undermine relationships and happiness. Thank you and please keep up the work. It’s truly needed.

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