75 episodes

Heal your life following parental alienation. Supporting and inspiring target parents in their journey to rebuild after experiencing the gut wrenching effects of unjustified cutoff from their child (aka parental alienation) and/or domestic abuse. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondthehighroad/support

Beyond The High Road of Parental Alienation Shelby Milford

    • Education
    • 5.0 • 26 Ratings

Heal your life following parental alienation. Supporting and inspiring target parents in their journey to rebuild after experiencing the gut wrenching effects of unjustified cutoff from their child (aka parental alienation) and/or domestic abuse. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondthehighroad/support

    Beyond Blame: Understanding Guilt & Regret In Alienation

    Beyond Blame: Understanding Guilt & Regret In Alienation

    Guilt is an extremely common emotion during (any kind of ) grief. So if youre experiencing it, nothing has gone wrong in your healing.

    AND... as alienated parents, I think we can all agree that we guilt ourselves probably far more often than necessary. Before doing this work, I had no idea why. In this episode:


    Why guilt is a go-to for us
    Why we feel comfortable w/ guilt, even if the blame is on us
    How blame tricks us (and our children) into a false sense of structure
    The massive distinction between the two emotions & how to determine which one is accurate
    What to do if you are in fact, guilty
    The importance of having your own back, regardless.

    Join the BTHR Private Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/HighRoadPrivate⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.beyondthehighroad.com  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@beyondthehighroadcoach⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠






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    • 33 min
    Ultimate Rejection: Navigating Beyond Your Hurt & Rediscovering Purpose

    Ultimate Rejection: Navigating Beyond Your Hurt & Rediscovering Purpose

    So... I received some news last week... News that even just two short years ago would’ve had me in a tailspin.  I would’ve been so worked up, stomach on a roller coaster while working full speed to put reference to & defend the outrageous claims he was making against me.

    I think it's safe to say that, when youre cradling your darling, sweet smelling, softly cooing tiny infant in your arms, you never in a million years consider the possibility that one day, they will reject you. That one day, the parent who spent years finishing your sentences and orchestrating things like "dancing Thursdays" in the living room w/ PJs on, would ever act as the barrier between you & your child.. 

    But, here we are.. Devoted parents who experience the ongoing and devastating effects of alienation. 

    Many of us feel devalued & discarded on a daily (hourly) basis. That's exactly what the person who is alienating your children from you would LOVE for you to feel.  Because then, they don't have to consider you each time they look at the child you made together.  

    But through this work, Ive found that nobody can devalue me unless I allow it. Yeah, life is not how I planned it. And YES... I would give all of this self-betterment back in a HEARTBEAT if I could just have my child back. But that clearly isn't in the plan for life (at current). I trust that our children will come back when they are ready. 

    SO why not try plan B? Why not SOAR in the meantime? 

     


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    • 34 min
    Finding Peace: Understanding the Distinction Between Giving Up & Embracing Acceptance

    Finding Peace: Understanding the Distinction Between Giving Up & Embracing Acceptance

    In this episode, we'll delve into the crucial distinction between giving up and acceptance for us, as parents experiencing alienation.

    Only you can decide what's right for you (and there is no "right" answer, anyway), but thru a couple personal stories, along with my own experience, this content will provide you with the clarity you've been searching for! 


    Why so many target parents find themselves burnt out and frustrated 
    How to set productive parenting goals from a place of empowerment
    Surefire way to find peace, while not falling prey to your own expectations
    How to not lose momentum and stay true to your goals



     


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    • 31 min
    Elevate Your Life & Custody Situation: Adopt a CEO Mindset

    Elevate Your Life & Custody Situation: Adopt a CEO Mindset

    We can learn to "get by" after alienation happens; ducking behind a shield of indifference, while experiencing an ever-present undertone of victimhood... head on a swivel, while the subconscious brain scans the environment for any sign of danger (in the form of the alienating parent)...

    Is it obvious that I speak from experience on this one? 😆 

    ...or we can muster up the courage and make a conscious effort to take charge of our lives. 

    Are you tired of feeling victimized, powerless, useless, directionless... and all the other "less"es? Well, you're in luck... 

    I have got the mindset shift you need! Become the CEO of your custody situation, and notice how quickly you shift into feeling poised, in-charge, and purposeful! 



    Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://beyondthehighroad.com/contact




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    • 22 min
    Letting Go Of "Should" Talk

    Letting Go Of "Should" Talk

    Should talk. Do you ever get tired of the pressure that comes with "should" & "shouldn't"?

    "Life shouldn't be like this."

    "My ex shouldn't be alienating my kid from me."

    "People shouldn't be so rude."

    "I should be further along than I am"

    "I should look forward to my parenting time"

    "I should look forward to my scheduled call with my kid"

    "I shouldn’t feel nervous about or have mixed feelings about seeing my kids"

    "My neighbor should be less annoying."

    "I should be sending them more gifts"

    "I should be doing more"

    "I should be doing less"

    Here's the thing: the word "should" is almost always an argument with reality. Using any version of the word is our way of placing a.) conditions on others or b.) pressure on ourselves to do or be different than we currently are.



    Join the BTHR Private Facebook Group⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/HighRoadPrivate⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.beyondthehighroad.com  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

    TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@beyondthehighroadcoach⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


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    Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondthehighroad/message
    Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondthehighroad/support

    • 28 min
    Unintentional Hater Mindset?

    Unintentional Hater Mindset?

    Are you an unintentional hater? Chances are, if you've gone thru the tragic situation of alienation, you probably also had your "fair" share of heartbreaking experiences before the custody battle even began. 

    It would make perfect sense if you picked up a few protective/coping mechanisms without even noticing. Here are just a couple of reasons why this might be happening:




    If you came from any degree of narcissistic abuse, you might've unconsciously learned to question the intentions of those with whom you interact. This is simply because relationships w/ a narc are transactional, by nature. 
    😲"Fun" Fact: during extended periods of isolation, the human brain secretes a neuropeptide called tachykinin (or TAC2) . This peptide activates the amygdala, causing heightened paranoia, anger, aggression, and fear. 👀 

    (Now ,👆🏼 are just the two I forgot to mention while recording. I provide many more in the episode 😉)



    Here's the thing:  we need isolation like we need gaping holes in our heads. If anyone deserves a cheering section & community, it's an alienated parent. Can I get a "Hell yeah!"? But!.... If we wanna to keep people around, we need to learn how to give and receive love again -- without allowing our coping mechanisms crash the party. 

    Join the BTHR Private Facebook Group⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/HighRoadPrivate⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠Website⁠⁠:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.beyondthehighroad.com  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ 

    TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@beyondthehighroadcoach⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


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    Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondthehighroad/message
    Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beyondthehighroad/support

    • 32 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
26 Ratings

26 Ratings

III2IV ,

A1

I found this podcast only a few weeks after looking searching false allegations and parent alienation…in that short time Shelby’s topics and the manner in which she lays it out have become an invaluable resource that I look forward to listening on my to/from/ during work. Thank you Shelby for your strength and courage! Bless you, your listeners, and all!

baxmama ,

Helps me Keep Going

Shelby is able to voice the unbearable questions and gives guidance by living her life ahead of mine…I hope I can get to we’re she is. She brings us with her without leaving us behind and letting us know she remembers what it was like and is still living in real time the pain of alienation without hiding her vulnerability. I hope this makes sense. I’m less alone and feel a bit less crazy and desperate. And that’s more than before. Thanks Shelby

Christy Lantz ,

Life changing

I started by listening the pod cast and I would think back to past episodes to help me make sense of what was happening. I felt like Shelby was talking to me directly which was so comforting- I was convinced that no one else had ever been through what I had. After listening for a while I ended up doing private coaching with Shelby- which I can't recommend enough. She is sweet, smart and most importantly non judgmental. If you want to get control back of your own thoughts and feelings and how you navigate through the ups and downs of alienation (and life in general) listen to this podcast. Thank you Shelby 💕

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