Coming Out + Beyond | LGBTQIA+ Stories Anne-Marie Zanzal

Krista Oakes is a certified yoga and meditation teacher specializing in working with beginners and seniors. She teaches gentle and chair yoga classes in Daytona Beach, Florida and nationally, online.  Krista leads group wellness retreats and teaches yoga and meditations to corporations. Her classes focus on safety, proper body alignment, mindfulness, and trusting oneself. Krista's approach to teaching integrates the mindfulness of meditation, lifestyle coaching, and the compassionate approach of Kripalu yoga rooted in faith and spirituality, with humor sprinkled throughout. Krista received her BA from Muhlenberg College where she first discovered the thrill of expressing herself through writing. As a yoga teacher, she enjoys reconnecting with that joy through blogging and communicating with her students. In January 2024, Krista published her first book, Shedding Shame: Finding Freedom to Live an Authentic Life, where she takes the reader on a journey through her life's challenges. She shares about being a child growing up with gay parents, losing her dad to AIDS, and the shame of her marriage full of dysfunction and mental illness which ended in divorce. Krista shares her path to unravel the shame that held her back, where's she's been, and how she's gotten to where she is today, living her best, authentic life. 
Learn more about Krista's gentle yoga programs here: https://www.daytonayogawithkrista.com/
You can find Krista's book, Shedding Shame: Finding Freedom to Live an Authentic Life here: https://www.daytonayogawithkrista.com/sheddingshame
Krista's "coming out" song is Defying Gravity from the musical Wicked: https://youtu.be/MslDnwerQRA?si=ip60m30HHGF0d02N
Two books that have influenced Krista are Daring Greatly by Brené Brown https://brenebrown.com/book/daring-greatly/
and Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33516773-big-little-lies


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Fellow later-in-lifer and Philadelphia-based therapist Mallory Hanfling is our special guest on this episode of CO&B. Her practice, Courage to Grow Counseling, caters to the Queer community, working with individuals and couples, specializing in identity development, coming out, communication skills, and connecting with one's most authentic self. Mallory is a doctoral student at the California Institute for Integral Studies (CIIS) working towards a PhD in Human Sexuality, working on a dissertation about how community mitgates the impact of compulsory heterosexuality on those who come out later-in-life. Mallory coined the inclusive term "Fireflies" for women/ non-binary/trans people to encapsulate a spectrum of identities and experiences reflected in the later-in-life community. Mallory offers a weekly Firefly peer support group where Fireflies at various stages of their journeys can come together to support and empower one another through the highs and lows of their experiences. 
You can learn more about Mallory and her work on her website, https://www.couragetogrowcounseling.org/about
Books that resonated with Mallory are Untamed by Glennon Doyle https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52129515 and Bossy Pants by Tina Fey https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/167987272-bossy-pants?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=zHsUsI2...
Mallory's coming out song is Drive by Incubus. https://youtu.be/fgT9zGkiLig?si=g98J8LJ24IjUvXBm


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Lesbian dating – specifically when a long-time out lesbian dates a newly out lesbian – is the topic of this week's episode, featuring guest conversationalist, Tonda McKay. In addition to being an award-winning photographer and community advocate, Tonda holds a very special role of distinction: she is wife to podcast host, Anne-Marie Zanzal! Tonda and Anne-Marie met just as Anne-Marie was beginning her coming out/divorce journey. In this engaging episode, Tonda and Anne-Marie talk about the benefits and challenges of the long-out/newly out dating dynamic, the hurdles they have overcome, and the rewards of perservering through what can sometimes be characterized as a difficult pairing of long-out/newly out lesbians. This is an episode that will be of great interest to anyone who is embarking on a dating journey later in life!
Tonda McKay earned her bachelor's degree in photography at Middle Tennessee State University and has been a professional corporate photographer for over 35 years. She has worked for several Fortune 500 companies, including Philips/Magnavox and DESU, LLC. While working at Philips she received two ADDY awards, which recognizes and rewards the creative spirit of excellence in the art of advertising. In 2001, her coffee table book, A City In Harmony, on Nashville was published. This was a two year collaborative project with the Nashville Chamber of Commerce. Tonda also won several national magazine awards (Best Cover - National Magazine Association) for her editorial work on Business Nashville and Nashville LifeStyle. While architectural photography (including Matterport 3D Imaging) and drone photography is her niche now, Tonda has worked in every imaginable area of photography, from jewelry, furniture, editorial & photojournalism. Tonda likes to say there isn’t anything she hasn’t done in photography and she still enjoys learning new processes and information. She has gone from shooting on an 8x10 view camera to HDR digital photography. She believes photography is ever changing and it is always a journey of learning and growth. When not photographing Tonda enjoys kayaking, travel, and of course scenic photography.
To learn more about Tonda and her work as a photographer, visit https://tondamckay.com/
A song that has special meaning to Tonda are 'She Keeps Me Warm' by Mary Lambert. https://youtu.be/NhqH-r7Xj0E?si=1c3fLiKIE5Rogo0T
A book that has impacted Tonda and she recommends to others is 'Another Mother Tongue' by Judy Grahn. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/64767


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Nita Agustin is a Queer and gender affirming clinical counselor based in Burnaby, B.C., Canada. Their jam is helping Queer youth and young adults find alignment within themselves so they can feel confident showing up in their own skin. This is accomplished by finding words to name their experiences and discover ways to live on their own terms. In this episode, Nita describes coming out in the pressure-cooker scenario of the pandemic, being Queer in Southeast Asian Indonesian culture, emerging and moving on from Catholocism, what it's like working with Queer youth, and much more!
You can find Nita online and learn more about her work at nitaagustincounselling.com
Nita's coming out songs are You Need to Calm Down by Taylor Swift, and Born This Way by Lady Gaga.
A book that inspired Nita is Me, Myself and They by Luna Ferguson. A show that has inspired Nita is I am Jazz.


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This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, we introduce you to media PR expert, April Mason.
April is the President of Violet PR, a busy agency that utilizes new and traditional media tools to craft powerful stories for their clients that shine a spotlight, attract new business, and enhance their public identity. April is also a later-in-life lesbian who learned to embrace all facets since the end of her marriage. Tune in and learn April's coming out story, how she stepped into her power after divorce, and her journey as a leader and business owner.
Learn more about April and Violet PR at https://www.violetpr.com/


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In this episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal speaks with transgender advocate and educator, Ben Greene.
Ben is a sought after speaker who has spoken at international events and conferences about topics surrounding transgender inclusion. After coming out in 2015 living in a small town in Connecticut and givng a popular TEDx talk at Brandeis University, Ben has dedicated his career to spreading empathy, education, and storytelling around the trans experience. He has spoken to groups at companies, hospitals, schools, religious organizations and government entities sharing what it means to be transgender and how to show up as an ally. He is a fierce advocate for transgender youth, regularly speaking up for them at the Missouri state capital. When he is not speaking during working hours he is delivering free presentations to parent support groups around the country and spending hours speaking one-on-one with families with newly-out transgender loved ones. He is passionate about educating others from a place of compassion, no matter where they are starting from.
In this episode, Anne-Marie and Ben talk about Ben's coming out experience, what it's like to be queer in New England, the importance of sharing positive and 'normal' transgender narratives and much more.
Ben's coming out song is 'Riptide' by Vance Joy: https://youtu.be/lYoWuaw5nSk?si=BHa6bqGR1y_K1M01
A book that resonates with Ben is Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers.
Ben's book is called 'My Child is Trans, Now What?' You can pre-order it on his website here: https://www.bgtranstalks.com/preorder
You can find Ben online at bgtranstalks.com


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