Listen up, gorgeous! Are you over 40? Are you feeling stuck? The proverbial midlife crisis is for real and we're here to tell you that you don't have to go it alone! The Dear Midlife mission is all about unleashing mind-blowing transformation for fabulous women in the middle. We are here to serve up sizzling inspiration and turbocharged tips and tools to arm you with the power and courage to remember who you are, figure out who in the hell you want to become and chase your passions like a total boss...even if it means kicking those old versions of yourself to the curb. So buckle up, We're all about pushing boundaries, getting cozy with discomfort, and living life without apology. Get ready to conquer with confidence and style!
Hot Flash Heroes: Mastering the Menopausal Madness
Our next guest quotes Socrates who says "The years wrinkle your skin, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles your soul". We love that thought and BELIEVE it! We are 100% certain that little things like finding joy in your life everyday and moving your body will keep you young! And our guest today, Annie Gaudreault shares with us her expertise and wisdom for how to do just THAT.
As a nutritionist and health coach, Annie founded VEEV Health & Wellness to support the needs of smart and successful individuals, giving them the confidence to do what they want to do, with the energy that they need. Annie is an endurance athlete with 12 marathons and 3 Ironman® triathlons under her belt, and practices what she preaches.
Before she was a nutritionist and health coach, Annie had a 25+ year career as a brand consultant working with executives of Fortune 500 companies and this gave her a solid background to serve the wellness needs of those living busy lives.Now, she focuses on guiding women through menopause by creating a healthy lifestyle from a holistic standpoint. Just like us, Annie believes midlife is a pivotal time for a woman to reinvent herself, overcome limiting beliefs and finally come into her own!
She supports her clients with strategies like setting a goal for something that they never have done before (a new hobby, a 10k run, etc) and creating a TO BE list as opposed to a TO DO list. She challenges her clients to put themselves into uncomfortable, yet achievable situations, as a way to gain confidence and grow some wings.
In this episode, Annie teaches us:
The symptoms of menopause is your body's way of providing you data and information that something is out of balance. It is a call to change and an opportunity for us to listen, acknowledge and take action.
Menopause is a natural and unique experience for each individual woman. Many doctors gaslight women into believing there is nothing they can do about their symptoms.
The either positive or negative beliefs you have about aging can add (or subtract) 7 year to your life.
As we age and our estrogen drops, we are much more susceptible to stress and our cortisol levels are more easily triggered. By increasing our cardio, we are putting more stress on our bodies and our body's natural reaction is to retain weight...not lose it. So, don't overdo the cardio. Instead, do strength and resistance exercises.
In midlife, we need to increase our intake of protein. We should have 70-80 grams of protein or more daily. Start your day with a protein rich breakfast. And, ladies, life is too short to feel guilty! Eat healthy 80% of the time and give yourself some grace to enjoy life the rest of the time!
And speaking of gaining confidence and growing some wings...now is your time, baby girl! We are here to support you on your midlife journey. Visit our website dearmidlife.com to gain access to our community where you will find an instant group of girlfriends who are there to HEAR you and support you. Thank you to our VERY FIRST FOUNDING MEMBER, Rhonda Osborn! We can't wait to take this journey with you! And don't forget to follow us on Facebook or Instagram! We can wait to meet you in the middle!
ANNIE GAUDREAULT BIOGRAPHY
You use midlife as a pivotal time in a woman's life as an opportunity to reinvent herself...we are very focused on midlife as being a woman's next chapter. how do you help women do take this time to grow and expand?
What are the 6 pillars of healthy aging?
What are some first steps we can take to live a healthier LONGER life?
You help women overcome long held limiting beliefs what are some tools you recommend for us to be able to do that?
When we are growing and stretching ourselves, we're often pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones. You are an endurance athlete, which requires you to mentally AND physically push yourself. How can we become more comfortable with being UNcomfortable?
Transforming Your Life and Relationships by Choosing Love
Let's face it...Our world today can be a SHIT show and all of this negativity can get a girl down. You know it was the end of last year and Shelby found that she was getting overwhelmed and burned out. I don't know about you...but, when this chic is tired, that permeates my day and bleeds into what and how I communicate. Much to her dismay, she suddenly caught herself spewing negativity in conversations with her team and her daughters. She began complaining about customers, traffic, life! And all of a sudden she was like who am I?! This is NOT me and she had to make a conscientious choice to shift my mindset and when she did, things shifted in her....in her relationships...in the way I felt about her day and her life.
The famous Olympic gymnast Mary Lou Retton said "Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive good things and good people will be drawn to you." This is so true. And you know, more often than not, people tend to dwell on the negative, rather than the positive and yet, it takes equal amounts of energy to put out a positive vibe as it does a negative one!
Our guest today, Atousa Raissyan, proves this point in her book called "Change Yourself, Change The World: Transform your life from fear-based living to choosing love and seeing magic". Atousa is recognized as a Shaman, Transformational Heart-Centered Healer and Spiritual Guide, Motivational Speaker. She is also a bestselling author, poet and digital artist. Her passion is to help people light up by guiding them to release their traumas and reprogram their fear-based living to a more heart-centered peaceful life.
Atousa’s extensive experience comes from years of transforming the life of her clients to tap in their truth, heart and experience their desired life, and in turn change the lives of those around them. Because of this transformational experience her clients refer to her as “Guiding Light,” “Life Changing,” “Best Teacher And Mentor,” “Game Changer,”. She has been featured in USA Today, Potomac Lifestyle Magazine, Entrepreneur Herald. She has been a guest speaker at over twenty-five podcasts and summits past two years.
If you want to transform your relationships and the people around you, start with transforming yourself by learning to love and accept yourself.
The trauma in our lives can be seen as a hindrance and can make us a victim or we can choose to see it as a gift. Healing our traumas and evaluating what we've learned from those experiences is part of the process of growth and transformation
Self-love and self-care are different. Self-love starts with looking in the mirror and loving everything about the person staring back at you. Every night choose 5 thing on the outside of your body (your smile, your skin, your collarbones) and 5 things on the inside of your body (your heart, your brain) and tell these things you love them.
Some trauma is passed down generationally in the form of the disease that we inherit from our family and ancestors. However, you can be the one to stop the cycle by healing yourself. It's not too late.
You can find more of Atousa at:
Website | www.atousaraissyan.com
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The one most important message that Atousa shared with us today is if you want to transform your life, it starts with transforming and reconnecting with yourself. We are here to go on this journey with you so you don't have to do it alone! Let's face our next chapter with the joy, enthusiasm and magic that Atousa preaches. When we come together with this energy, we can move mountains ladies. And we have the tools to help you remember who you are and figure out who you want to become! So, Please follow this podcast so you don't miss any important news and find us at dearmidlife.com so we transform our lives together.
Leveling Up Your Bad-Assery by Joining Us in the Middle
So, in 2021 Shelby had been divorced for 5 years. She'd held a variety of different jobs within a short frame of time due to the ups and downs of her industry at the time and a variety of reorganizations and acquisitions. She wasn't truly happy in life...nor was she truly DISsatisfied. The best word to describe the way she felt was "stuck". Trinity was also stuck after just leaving a stagnant relationship.
So, one day (on a whim and in support of a good friend's school fundraiser) Shelby purchased an 8-week course at an elementary school silent auction written by Brene Brown and delivered by one of her certified partners (also a mom at the school). It felt like a great investment on her part and she thought it would help her move beyond feeling stuck.
One of the exercises was around finding your core values. The exercise required you to look at a list of a 50 or so stated values and choose 15 that resonated with you. Then, from there the goal was to continue to narrow the list to 2 that really resonated. The values Shelby selected from that list included words like, "productivity", "accountability", "adaptability", integrity etc.
Then the facilitator took the group away from the prescribed content to help participants visualize their values in a different way. She asked the group to write one story about something in life that they had accomplished that they were proud of. This couldn't include things like marriage or children. It had to be something the individuals in the group had accomplished that made us proud.
Then she asked the group to recall a specific memory from early childhood or from our past in which they had experienced pure joy. The participants spent some time writing out these memories and then she had them read them to the group. And as the stories were read, the group was instructed to capture noticeable themes from the stories.
When the stories were done were done the facilitator and other participants to reflect back the themes THEY pulled out of the stories. You see, it is in these stories in which our TRUE values are visible. When Shelby left that session, her profound revelation was that what she truly valued were things like "community", "impact", "love/ or what Brene calls wholeheartedness".
It suddenly resonated why she was feeling so...stuck, disconnected, so...fill in the blank...right. It was because she was living a life that was out of alignment with her core values.
Then circumstances brought Trinity and Shelby back together and Shelby started talking about this crazy fucking idea about starting a podcast. Of course, Trinity was like, bitch, I don't even know what a podcast IS...let alone listen to one! lol But, the more Shelby talked about it the more Trinity was drawn to the idea.
The goal was to try to connect with and learn from other women in midlife who were struggling to find themselves, just like us. And you know what we learned along the way?!? We learned more about ourselves. We started exploring our passions...we realized there were big and little traumas that were impacting our mindset and heartset that might be holding us back from greatness! We interviewed some pretty amazing men and women and you know what?! We started DOING the shit they suggested. Trinity started working out, having her hormones tested, reflecting on her past...I mean, she definitely didn't give in and started journaling or anything crazy like that...it will take a cold day in hell before she does that...
But, Shelby journaled and learned so much about herself and was able to set and achieve some relevant goals and heal in so many ways from childhood traumas.
Trinity started on a mission to find her joy. She's always been a spontaneous person who likes to try new things....so, she took a solo trip to Ireland with nothing but a backpack, used a rope swing to catapult herself off a cliff and into a lake-fully clothed. We started living LIFE.
And we both have attracted new
Slaying Metabolic Myths While Feasting, Lifting and LIVING
I don't know about you, but we have been taught for our entire lives to eat less and do more exercise if you want to stay fit and lose weight. and girl...we've taken that shit to heart! Is anyone else out there finding it frustrating that, lately, what used to work to help shed a couple of pounds no longer works! Heck! In midlife, it feels like everything...including our metabolism...is dragging. AND, if you're like us, you feel hungry all the time!
If you're feeling as though you're at your wits end, don't despair! You will love what our guest today, Sarah Thomas, says about stepping into this chapter in life and looking at the years ahead as a clean slate. We have this new opportunity in midlife to live our best years AND Sarah will convince us today that we can actually ENJOY life FEAST on foods we love while also maintaining a healthy body weight.
Sarah is the founder of Burn Fat and Feast, elite comprehensive wellness lifestyle for women across the globe. She is a Personal Trainer, Fitness Instructor, and Nutrition Coach for women 30+ who are ready to live a healthy and strong lifestyle. For more than 22 years, she has been teaching them how to balance their hormones and metabolism through proper nutrition, mindset training, and quick and effective fitness workouts so that they can take back control of their health and finally feel their best.
Sarah, herself, is a 45-year-old personal trainer, fitness instructor, nutrition coach, business mentor, wife, mom of three, and BFF for women who feel stuck and frustrated with weight loss and overall well being. Burn Fat and FEAST provides a proven, step-by-step system that educates and empowers women to finally shed the excess weight, increase metabolism and stop the yo-yo dieting once and for all. At Burn Fat and FEAST we teach women to live life to the fullest by focusing on progress over perfection!
Sarah is your girl if you want results without feeling deprived or getting stuck in a plateau. She's been featured in TV and magazine publications such as Nashville's Talk of the Town, Franklin Lifestyle, The Tennessean, Nashville Voyager as well as on Podcasts and as a keynote speaker for national wellness and educational conferences across the country.
In this episode, Sarah teaches us:
We've grown up being told eat less, put yourself in a caloric deficit and you will lose weight. But, we are not math equations. we are more complex and other things like hormones, metabolism and stress all impact our ability to lose weight.
Make it a "feast" day...not a "cheat" day. Ensure you build into your lifestyle the ability to engage socially and enjoy life.
This phase of life is like a new beginning or a blank slate. YOU get to choose how you approach this chapter in life and how you want to approach life in a different way in order to live a more vibrant lifestyle.
Prioritize protein! Our bodies need more protein as we get older and increasing our intake of protein helps us to better maintain our muscle mass as we face this season of life where everything is slowing down.
We also need to be capable to prioritize strength training 3x per week as adding muscle mass will support your metabolism. Then we need to ensure that we are get good sleep to allow ourselves to rest and recover.
Find more of Sarah:
Facebook | @burnfatandfeast
Instagram | @burnfatandfeast
LinkedIn | @burn-fat-and-feast
So are you ready to turn the page in this next chapter in life? You have an empty page before you and you get to write your own story! What will you manifest this year? If you want to live a healthy and vibrant life so you can do what you love find our Facebook Group and follow us on Instagram. You're not going to want to miss out on a single thing that we have in store for you moving forward. We can't wait to introduce you to some exciting new tools that will help you remember who you are and figure out who in the hell you want to become!
Creating a Blueprint for Parental Liberation
This episode is very timely for both of us as Shelby's oldest daughter is about to head off to college next year. She can't even begin to express the variety of emotions she has about that. Perhaps you have a child who is headed to college or children who are starting their own lives and you've also felt pride in your child for the adversity they've faced in High School and the confidence your child has gained to prepare them for college and life. Maybe, you're equally afraid to let go of your child...the world is such a different place now than it was when we were younger and there are so many dangers and unknowns to consider. Then, whether you're a single parent or in a partnership we know this time can be full of new adventures and, simultaneously, daunting! We lose a part of ourselves and our identity when the humans who have been our singular focus for so long are no longer fully dependent on us and we are left with TIME and wondering what the hell we can do to fill it!
If you find yourself in a similar place as Trinity and I do, with a child headed off to college or one who boomeranged home and getting ready to "launch" again, you'll love our guest today, Anthony Damaschino, the author of "The Empty Nest Blueprint". The truth is, just as we dove head first into parenthood without a manual when these babies were born, we are now expected to send them off into the world and THEN reclaim our own lives after making our children and families a top priority for so many years! I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't even know who the hell I am anymore!
Thank goodness for our guest, Anthony, who has an obsession with what he calls, “The most underrated phase in a parent’s life” which led him to create a blueprint for all future and current Empty Nesters to follow. He combines current research, practical advice, and personal experience to help others not just survive, but thrive in their Empty Nest adventure.
The Empty Nest Blueprint is more than just a book–it's a journey of self-discovery. Anthony and his wife have successfully launched 3 children into the world (two of whom are still in college). He considers himself a recovering HR exec with a BS in Political Science and an MS in HR and organizational development. It is his goal to utilize his personal and professional experience to put readers on a path of reflection and empowerment while gaining profound insights into your most cherished relationships. By the end of this read, you'll emerge with a tangible blueprint and actionable plans to create a future filled with happiness, motivation, and a renewed sense of intimacy.
If you are in our shoes and sending your beloved humans out into the universe, we beg you not to let this precious chapter in YOUR life pass you by–This is your chance to seize the opportunity to create a blueprint for a joyful and fulfilling life and you don't have to do it alone! We are right here with you every step of the way.
The "Empty Nest Syndrome" is meant to define the feelings of sadness and loss experienced when children move out and on their own, but can extend farther to concerns such as what is your new purpose as a parent, loneliness and emotional toll, marital stress and parental anxiety.
As children leave, there are 3/4 things to explore: what is your relationship to self and new purpose, what is your plan for your relationships, what is your plan for the marriage (if there is a spouse) and what is your new relationship with your child going to look like moving forward.
When launching a child, there are gains and losses. The biggest gain is time. And then there is the loss. The empty nest age group is the second largest group suffering depression. The best thing you can do for yourself is to fill the additional time with meaningful activities and people you love.
When your child leaves the home it is important to set expectations around grades, money and communication.
To find more of Anthony:
Ditching Comparanoia, Lifting Heavy Sh*t, and Living Fit
It is sooo hard managing our weight in midlife. I mean...nothing that used to work...minimizing calories and being a slave to cardio seems to be working anymore. We don't know about you, but we're at our wit's end! Further, society does not make it any easier by creating impossible to achieve ideals! Our guest today, Kathy Mead Fronheiser calls this "comparanoia" because we are constantly comparing ourselves to other women and the societal standards projected in the media. But, the reality is that trying to live up to those standards may be the exact thing that is preventing us from being our healthiest selves.
Kathy is a health coach who focuses on helping high-achieving women over 40 (i.e. in perimenopause and menopause) achieve their health goals. She has an MS in exercise science and has over 15 years of experience as a health coach. She coaches women to lift heavy shit, not eat like toddlers, have fun and find a supportive community when working towards new levels of fitness in this age and stage of life. And...Don't forget the sleep! Getting enough rest helps our bodies to recover so that we can have more strength and energy to reclaim our future and prioritize our selves and our health.
Kathy teaches us that fitness in midlife (while different for each individual) can be a simple formula of working out LESS, resting MORE, enjoying food, and losing inches. That's a win-win-win our book! And girl, if you're a woman in the middle and find you have a tire in the middle (I mean...who doesn't at this age?!) you MUST listen to this episode! As a matter of fact, we want you to join us each and every week as we meet right here in the middle to discuss all the ways in which you can let go of past negative narratives and start the next chapter of your life with purpose and intention.
In this episode, Kathy teaches us:
The way we used to diet and exercise in the past no longer work in middle age and even puts stress on our bodies. This has a detrimental impact on our bodies by increasing our cortisol levels, which makes it more difficult to lose fat.
If there were a hierarchy of health priorities, sleep should be at the top.
High intensity and high impact are not the same. There are ways to do high intensity without high impact. We should be striving for high intensity to get our heart rate up while building muscle.
Work with a personal trainer just a few times, as necessary, until you have established a routine and understand what exercises work for you.
Make sure you are prioritizing fiber and protein in your diet at you age. As we age, we need more protein. If necessary, front load your protein by eating a breakfast that is high in protein so you don't reach the end of a day and not had enough. Strive to eat 1 gram of protein for each pound of your body weight in a day. i.e. if you weigh 150, eat 150 grams of protein.
To find more of Kathy:
Website | www.kathymeadfronheiser.com
Instagram | @kathy_mead_fronheiser/
New year, new you, baby girl. What will you do to change your life!? It starts with knowing you're worth it. We're bringing you some exciting new tools this year and can't wait to share them with you. Join our Facebook Group and follow us on Instagram so you don't miss out on the excitement!
Love this show! The chemistry between Shelby and Trinity is awesome and they are so real and vulnerable. The expert guests they interview are smart and provide so much value for women our age. The topics they tackle are so relevant for midlife and helps me feel like I’m not alone.
I enjoyed being a guest on Dear Midlife and have listened to numerous episodes. Shelby and Trinity are amazing hosts! I’ve learned something from each guests they’ve brought on - especially the “Nope” coach! That’s been my anthem this year…saying no in order to please everyone else. If you’re a lady in midlife, tune in!!
Clarissa Castillo-Ramsey, PsyD
Podcast Host of Painting Your Path
I appreciate Shelby and Trinity creating an inviting space for their guests on their show! Candid chats with warm personalities!