How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships TruStory FM

In this listener question episode, Seth and Pete address a variety of concerns that many individuals face when going through a divorce or considering ending their marriage.
The hosts dive into topics such as dating during the divorce process, fighting for your marriage, handling unresponsive attorneys, and the potential impact of changing laws on no-fault divorces. They also discuss the differences between equitable distribution and alimony, inheritance laws in Florida, and how to approach property appraisals during a divorce.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How should you handle dating before your divorce is finalized?Can the divorce process actually save a marriage?What should you do if your attorney is unresponsive and hasn't filed important documents like your QDRO?Key Takeaways:
Equitable distribution deals with the division of assets and debts, while alimony is based on need and ability to pay.In Florida, inheritance maintained as separate property is generally considered non-marital and not subject to equitable distribution.When seeking a property appraisal, focus on finding a reputable and qualified appraiser rather than trying to manipulate the outcome.It’s an information-packed episode with questions sent in from listeners, and also from listeners who have used our chatbot on the website. Those questions are valuable too, so if you have questions of your own, make sure you get them asked and we’ll do our best to answer them in an episode for you.
Links & Notes
Reach out to Andy to practice dating while going through your divorceReach out to Matt Lundy to see if he works in your state regarding QDROsSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Listener Questions!
(00:51) - Question #1
(02:57) - Question #2
(06:17) - Question #3
(10:27) - Question #4
(14:14) - Question #5
(18:39) - Question #6
(20:46) - Question #7
(25:38) - Question #8
(31:38) - Wrap Up

Navigating Post-Divorce Relationships with Wendi Dumbroff
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete welcome Wendi L. Dumbroff, a licensed professional counselor and highly trained couple and sex therapist. The conversation centers on the challenges of maintaining civility and communication with an ex-spouse, particularly when children are involved.
Seth and Pete explore the intricacies of post-divorce relationships, seeking guidance from Wendi on how to manage the emotional terrain while prioritizing the well-being of the children. They discuss the significance of redirecting negative energy, establishing clear communication goals, and discovering ways to be heard and validated during the difficult divorce process.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I communicate effectively with my ex when emotions are running high?What can I do to maintain a cordial relationship with my ex for the sake of our children?How do I handle the feelings of resentment and anger towards my ex-spouse?Key Takeaways:
Prioritize your children's well-being and use that as motivation for maintaining civilitySet clear goals for your communication and ensure your messages align with those objectivesAcknowledge your feelings while finding ways to avoid reactive behavior that could escalate the situationThroughout the episode, Wendi offers valuable advice on reframing perspectives, understanding triggers, and doing the necessary personal work to navigate the challenges of post-divorce relationships. Seth and Pete provide relatable examples and insights, making this an engaging and informative listen for anyone grappling with divorce-related communication issues.
Plus, we tackle not one but two listener questions!
Links & Notes
Visit Wendi’s Website or find her on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, or FacebookSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:27) - Meet Wendi L. Dumbroff
(00:58) - The Draw to Getting Along with Your Ex
(06:30) - Civility During Resentment
(07:54) - Help When in the Thick of It
(11:33) - Reminding Yourself It’s for Your Kids
(14:32) - Correcting Yourself when Angry
(20:56) - Being Heard
(22:34) - Finding the Right Goal
(27:15) - When You’re Damaging the Process
(28:59) - Action Steps
(31:26) - Finding Wendi
(31:46) - Listener Question #1
(37:48) - Listener Question #2
(40:47) - Wrap Up

Navigating the Complexities of Military Divorce
In this week's episode of How to Split a Toaster, Pete is joined by a special guest, Kristin Scully, the newest member of NLG Family Law Group. With Seth on vacation, Kristin steps in to share her expertise on the intricacies of military divorce. As a family law attorney with over ten years of experience, Kristin has developed a niche in handling military divorce cases, addressing issues such as pension division, parenting plans, and jurisdictional challenges.
Pete and Kristin dive deep into the unique aspects of military divorce, discussing how factors like frequent relocation, deployments, and military benefits can complicate the process. They explore the misconceptions surrounding military pension division, the importance of understanding the service member's income structure, and the creative strategies for crafting parenting plans that accommodate the demands of military life.
Some questions we answer in this episode:
How is military pension divided in a divorce?What challenges do military families face when creating parenting plans?Can GI Bill benefits be divided in a military divorce?Key Takeaways:
Military pension division is based on the length of the marriage overlapping with years of service, not just the total duration of the marriage.Parenting plans for military families should include provisions for long-distance and local schedules to minimize the need for constant modifications.Jurisdiction can be a complex issue in military divorces, especially when one spouse is stationed overseas.Plus, we tackle another listener question! A listener asks about the difference between a social investigator and a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) in the context of divorce proceedings. Pete and Kristin clarify the distinct roles and responsibilities of these professionals, helping listeners understand when and why each may be appointed in a divorce case.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of a military divorce. With Kristin's extensive knowledge and experience, listeners will gain valuable insights into the unique challenges and considerations involved in these cases. Whether you're a service member, a spouse, or a legal professional, this episode will provide you with the information and strategies you need to approach a military divorce with confidence and clarity.
Links & Notes
Check out Kristin’s pageSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:30) - Kristin Scully and Military Divorce
(01:14) - Kristin’s Background
(02:02) - Challenges in Military Divorce
(03:07) - Military Pension
(04:38) - Other Misconceptions
(05:40) - Who Pays Pension?
(07:23) - Alimony
(08:57) - Thrift Savings Plan
(09:53) - Calculating Service Member’s Income
(12:23) - Parenting Plans
(14:33) - When Parents Can’t Work Together
(15:51) - Navigating Constant Change and Conflict
(17:31) - Court’s Perspective
(18:38) - GI Bill
(20:23) - Common Mistakes
(23:45) - Overseas Courts
(25:14) - Listener Question
(29:52) - Survivor Benefit Plan
(33:38) - Language in Final Judgment
(34:24) - Wrap Up

Navigating High Net Worth Divorce with Patrick Kilbane
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete dive into the complexities of high net worth divorce with special guest Patrick Kilbane. As a wealth advisor and former family law attorney, Pat brings unique insights on how to think about your money before, during, and after divorce, especially if you fall into the high net worth category.
Seth and Pete explore key financial considerations in high net worth divorces, such as dividing complex assets, understanding tax implications, and planning for your long-term financial future. Patrick shares his expertise on helping clients make informed decisions that align with their goals, even during the emotionally challenging process of divorce.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How do you think about money during and after a high net worth divorce?What are common financial blind spots for high net worth individuals going through divorce?How can a wealth advisor help navigate the complexities of high net worth divorce?Key Takeaways:
It's crucial to understand the long-term financial implications of divorce settlement decisions.Working with a wealth advisor can empower you to make informed choices about your future.Dividing assets in a high net worth divorce requires careful consideration of tax consequences.This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing a high net worth divorce and looking to make smart financial decisions. Seth, Pete, and Patrick offer valuable insights and practical advice to help you navigate this challenging process and set yourself up for long-term financial success.
Links & Notes
Patrick’s book Move Forward ConfidentlyVisit Patrick on the web or LinkedInSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(00:26) - Meet Patrick Kilbane
(02:02) - Patrick’s Background
(04:45) - How to Think About Money
(10:47) - What Usually Happens in High Net Worth Cases
(11:39) - Sophistication Gap
(16:38) - Leeway in Framing Items in Affidavit
(21:04) - Common Questions
(32:12) - First Things to Do
(39:20) - Long Term Incentive Plans
(42:16) - Patrick’s Book and Contact Info
(45:11) - Wrap Up

Communicating with a New Partner After Divorce
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete explore how to effectively communicate with new partners after divorce. They're joined by Dr. Etel Leit, a human communication researcher, prominent figure in psychology and education, and founder of Sign Shine, a family center in Beverly Hills. The conversation focuses on breaking old patterns and learning to relate to new partners, especially when communication issues contributed to the end of a marriage.
Seth, Pete, and Dr. Leit dive into the importance of self-reflection and awareness before entering a new relationship. They discuss the fantasy of a perfect future partner and the need to address what went wrong in the previous marriage first. Dr. Leit introduces her concept of the "3 Vs" crucial for a successful relationship: Vibe, Values, and Vision. She explains each in detail, offering valuable insights into how these elements contribute to a strong partnership. Additionally, Dr. Leit shares the "3 As" essential for effective communication: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I avoid repeating negative patterns in a new relationship?What are the key factors for a strong, lasting partnership?How do I know if I'm ready to date again after divorce?Key Takeaways:
Self-reflection and awareness are essential before entering a new relationshipShared values and vision are crucial for a successful partnershipEffective communication, built on awareness, acceptance, and action, is vitalThis episode is packed with practical advice and thought-provoking ideas to help you navigate the world of dating and relationships post-divorce. Whether you're considering a new partnership or already in one, Seth, Pete, and Dr. Leit's insights will give you the tools to build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Links & Notes
Find Dr. Leit on the web here or here, Instagram, or LinkedInSee Dr. Leit’s books onBarnes & Noble or AmazonSchedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:07) - Meet Dr. Etel Leit
(03:31) - Old Patterns of Communication
(05:52) - Clean Your Water
(06:49) - Shifting Mindset Post-Divorce
(11:22) - Three Vs: Vibe, Values, Vision
(22:45) - Choosing the Same Type
(24:40) - New Relationships
(31:41) - Three As: Awareness, Acceptance, Action
(38:12) - Finding Dr. Leit
(40:27) - Listener Question

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Parenting Across Dimensions with Tim McCarthy
In this episode of How to Split a Toaster, Seth and Pete explore the topic of parenting and how to be a better parent before, during, and after divorce. They are joined by special guest Tim McCarthy, educator, writer, and grand master in the martial arts. Tim's unique perspective on integrating Eastern philosophy into Western approaches to parenting provides a fresh take on the parent-child relationship.
Seth, Pete, and Tim dive deep into the concept of four-dimensional thinking and how it applies to parenting. They discuss the importance of being present as a parent and engaging with your children across the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. The conversation touches on practical ways to connect with your kids, from shared physical activities to fostering curiosity and problem-solving skills.
Questions we answer in this episode:
How can I be a better parent during and after divorce?What are some practical ways to connect with my kids?How do I help my children process the emotions of divorce?Key Takeaways:
Being present is the most important thing you can do as a parentEngage with your children across physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensionsFoster curiosity and problem-solving skills in your kidsSeth and Pete also explore the emotional challenges children face during divorce and how parents can support them. They discuss the importance of not leaning on children emotionally and maintaining positive co-parenting communication.
This episode is packed with insights and practical tips for parents navigating the challenges of divorce. Whether you're currently going through a divorce or simply looking to strengthen your relationship with your children, this conversation with Tim McCarthy offers valuable wisdom and actionable strategies.
Links & Notes
Find Tim on his site!Schedule a consult with SethGot a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
(00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
(02:07) - Meet Tim McCarthy
(03:28) - Parenting Across 4 Dimensions
(06:59) - Divorce at the Expense of the Kids
(08:56) - Physical Dimension
(13:18) - Mental Dimension
(17:02) - Emotional Dimension
(20:46) - Spiritual Dimension
(22:06) - Ages and Manipulation
(24:48) - Communication
(26:13) - Teaching Kids to Care
(28:05) - Returning to Spiritual
(32:07) - Compartmentalizing to Find Your Blind Spots
(33:53) - Finding Tim
(34:40) - Listener Question

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