Deconstructing Gaslighting‪™‬ Sarah Morales

There are a lot of words these days that are misunderstood. “Triggered” is one such word. It’s also a very important word, as it’s one of those words that can help us both recognize what’s happening to us, as well as help us communicate to others what is happening to us. So today, my guest and I are going to help bring clarity to the things surrounding the experience of being triggered and leave you with some helpful tips on how to recognize and deal with triggers.
 
Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting®, the podcast. I’m your host, Sarah Morales. This month, while summer is in full swing, I’m venturing away from specifically GASLIGHTING-themed topics, and instead bringing up topics that will hopefully help you fill your toolbelt. If you are looking for help specifically around GASLIGHTING issues, I encourage you to check out my website.
 
My guest today is Tammy Gustafson. Tammy is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR-certified clinician, and speaker. She is the founder of Betrayal Healing and is the host of the annual Betrayal Healing Conference.
Story Time: Sarah and Tammy talk about their own journey of healing and dealing with triggers, what they've seen as some of the most common struggles around triggers, and how we can "reduce or remove" triggers as we are healing.

Top Take-Aways: (5-10 min)
Reverse engineer – if you can identify when you have been triggered, work backwards. Ask your who/what/where/when. Who was around you? What did they say/do or NOT say/do? Where did it happen? When did it happen?Ask: can I remove the thing that is triggering me? If not, can I minimize an aspect of it somehow – less time around a certain person/environment; boundaries around places/things; grocery shopping example. Ask: is what I’m experiencing big feelings/activated or triggered? If it’s connected to a traumatic experience and we are in fight/flight/freeze/fawn, then we need to get to safety and get grounded/brain body connection back online. If activated, get curious - identify what feeling, what needs do I have? What values are being infringed upon, etc.Try using the "How we feel" app to identify and track your feelings/triggers.

If you want to connect with or follow Tammy, you can go to her website, or follow her on Instagram or Facebook.

As I wrap up today, I wanted to let you know that if you want to understand more about the ways GASLIGHTING has shown up in your life, and robbed you of knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting yourself, check out my website. I have offerings that will help you break the hold self-GASLIGHTING has had over you and help you step into that Radical self-love.
I invite you to follow me on your preferred social media platform… I’m on Facebook, Instagram, and a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@sassysarahdeconstructs" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Where on your list of priorities is doing things to care for yourself? How much time and energy do you put into things that bring you joy or “fill your bucket”? How you answered these questions likely reflects your beliefs – conscious OR unconscious – about self-care.
And of course we struggle to give ourselves permission to do self-care. We’ve been told that self-care is everything from “selfish” to “lazy”. Additionally, most of us, when we most need it, can’t even think of HOW to do self-care because of being in trauma-brain.
 So today I’ve invited Adrianna Lewis of The Heartbreak Box, who is doing amazing work in the area of self-care, to be on the pod so that we can debunk the GASLIGHTING around self-care AND learn both truths and tools to step into transformative, radical self-love through self-care.
 
Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting the podcast. If you’re new here, welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. I hope that the resources I have help you find clarity, empowerment, and healing.
Story Time: Sarah and Adrianna talk about the journey Adrianna has been on that led her to not only realize how crucial self-care is but find her passion in helping others embrace a lifestyle of self-care.

Top Take-Aways:
Make a pie chart of where/to whom you give your time and energy. Reflect on how much you give to yourself. Now ask yourself, how much of the pie chart do I believe reflects the values I want to live by? What would my pie chart look like if it was reflecting my values? From Adrianna - remember PIESS. These are the areas we GET to do self-care: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Social and Spiritual. Take account of where you are lacking and try doing some self-care to fill the void.

If you want to get on Adrianna's Heartbreak Box waitlist, you can do so here. You can follow her on Instagram or follow her Facebook page.

As I wrap up today, I wanted to let you know that if you want to understand more about the ways GASLIGHTING has shown up in your life, and robbed you of knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting yourself, check out my website.
I invite you to follow me on your preferred social media platform where we can interact… I’m mostly on Facebook and Instagram, though I do have a cache of videos on TikTok.

Thank you, my listener, for listening to today’s episode.  If you found it helpful and want to help me get it in the hands of more people who could benefit from it, please leave a review and subscribe. Additionally, if you can think of one person in particular who could benefit, please share it with them.  And remember – you may have crashed and burned; been broke and hurt, but damn it, you’re a phoenix and you’re rising again. I think it’s time

A few years ago, I had my founding members group for my Empowerment program. Before we began, I asked them to share the songs that helped bring them back to themselves. Some truly amazing songs came of that. One of the songs that I found that captured the journey the group was going on was Masterpiece, by Jessie J.
The chorus says: I still fall on my face sometimes and I can't color inside the lines, 'cause I'm perfectly incomplete - I'm still working on my masterpiece. And I - I wanna hang with the greats, got a way to go, but it's worth the wait, no - You haven't seen the best of me, I'm still working on my masterpiece.
In today’s episode, I’ve asked one of my founding members, who is kinda the poster woman for this energy, to come share what she’s been doing and HOW she’s been doing it. It’s going to be an epic show!

Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting the podcast. I’m your host, Sarah Morales. And if you’re new here, welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. I hope that the resources I have on this podcast and my website help you find clarity, empowerment, and healing. Check it out, or better yet – schedule a free consultation call with me! Side note – that list of songs is on spotify.
 
My guest today is no stranger to the pod, as she was in season one at least twice. She is truly a magical person. Lauren is this incredibly fierce powerhouse of a woman who is a fighter and a queen who has survived significant betrayal and gaslighting trauma along with a total loss of self-worth. Over the years she has worked tirelessly to reclaim herself, her peace, and her power.

Story Time: Sarah and Lauren talk about the journey Lauren went through to get to the place of freedom and confidence that allows her to be "creating her masterpiece.
 
Top Take-Aways:
Create your own (or borrow mine) “creating my masterpiece” playlist you can listen to. Find your “movement”/body experience that helps you feel groundedn and/or empowered – like dancing, or running, etcCreate a mantra, and state it in the present tense: “I am creating my masterpiece” vs “I will create my masterpiece”.

If you want to understand more about the ways gaslighting has shown up in your life, and robbed you of knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting yourself, check out my website. I have offerings that will help you break the hold self-gaslighting has had over you and help you step into that Radical self-love. I’ll have the link in the show notes.

As always, I invite you to follow me on your preferred social media platform where we can connect and interact… I’m on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.

And remember – you may have crashed and burned; been broke and hurt, but damn it, you’re a phoenix and you’re rising again. I think it’s time we fly.
 

Have you ever seen that Dove “Real Beauty” sketches campaign video – the one where the women met a stranger, and after some time talking, that stranger gave their description to an FBI forensics artist. Then the women described themselves to that same artist. AND THEN, they had the big reveal of the difference between the stranger’s description and their own description. WITHOUT FAIL, the more accurate picture (and more flattering picture) was the one that came from the description of the stranger. Big forehead; small eyes; too many freckles; big nose. These women tended to focus on the things they believed were negative about themselves AND saw them as a bigger deal than they actually were. Why do we do this? AND how can we STOP doing this?
In today’s episode, during this month of focusing on self-worth, I’ve asked the amazing Leslie Jordan to come back to the pod and help us understand our body image issues and the thief of self-love that comparison can be.

Welcome you to Deconstructing Gaslighting the podcast. I’m your host, Sarah Morales. And if you’re new here, welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. I hope that the resources I have on this podcast and website help you find clarity, empowerment, and healing. Check it out, or better yet – schedule a free consultation call with me!
 
Bio: My guest today is Leslie Jordan Garcia, MBA, MPH, CEDRS, CPT (she/her), a dedicated Eating Disorder Recovery and Body Liberation Coach.
*In case you missed it, Leslie and I had an amazing conversation back in season 1, where we talked about the struggle of how we view our bodies – especially when it comes to the concept of being “overweight. That episode was season 1, episode 33, titled, “I was overweight by THEIR standards”.   

Story Time: Sarah and Leslie talk about what body liberation is, why it's such hard work, and WHY IT'S SO WORTH IT!

Top Take-Aways:
Follow Leslie on InstagramIf you struggle with feeling self-acceptance and self-love when it comes to your body and want to experience body liberation - get on Leslie's wait list!

If you want to understand more about the ways gaslighting has shown up in your life, and robbed you of knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting yourself, check out my website. I have offerings that will help you break the hold self-gaslighting has had over you and help you step into that Radical self-love.
I invite you to follow me on your preferred social media platform where we can connect and interact… I’m on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.

And remember – you may have crashed and burned; been broke and hurt, but damn it, you’re a phoenix and you’re rising again. I think it’s time we fly.

Do you remember what your dreams were when you were a kid… or maybe when you were a teenager. How about as you entered into your mid-twenties? Were you encouraged to dream, or told dreaming was foolish or a waste of time?
And here’s the big one: were your dreams crushed by betrayal and/or gaslighting? Any number of these things can disconnect us from this thing I believe all humans have initially – the ability to dream audaciously. So today, my guest and I are going to have a chat to connect the dots of what causes this, and how we can begin to dream again – no matter the reason that was taken from you.
 
I’m Sarah Morales, the host of this podcast, and if you want to be in the know about special deals on my programs, new things I’m launching, conferences I’ll be speaking at, and lots of other helpful information and tools, sign up for my newsletter by visiting my website: deconstructinggaslighting.com
 
My guest today is my very good friend and amazing colleague, Rae Gaelyn Emerson of healing talks back.
Story Time: Sarah and Rae geek out over the intersection of dreams and values. Their discussion leads them to a variety of connecting points, with all roads leading back to how brave it is to continue to dream after betrayal/trauma.
 
Top Take-Aways: How can we be audacious dreamers?
Balance safety with audacityPlay – you don’t have to take action... yet or ever. Self-talk: “I am worthy of having beautiful dreams and seeing them come true.”Self-talk: “I give myself permission to dream. It is an important part of being human.”
If you want to understand more about the ways gaslighting has shown up in your life, and robbed you of knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting yourself, check out my website, and Rae's website. We both have offerings that will help you break the hold self-gaslighting has had over you and help you step into Radical self-love.

Follow me and Rae on your preferred social media platform… I’m on Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok. Rae is on Facebook.
 
Thank you for listening to today’s episode.  If you found it helpful and want to help me get it in the hands of more people who could benefit from it, please leave a review and subscribe. Additionally, if you can think of one person in specific who could benefit, please share it with them. 
And remember – you may have crashed and burned; been broke and hurt, but damn it, you’re a phoenix and you’re rising again. I think it’s time we fly.
 

Have you seen those social media posts that go something like this – and I quote: “After all that she gave him, imagine what she’ll be able to give to the next person…” and then it says, “Not a thing, because he broke her.” I HATE that picture. That belief that somehow, because of the trauma that I or my clients have been through, we’re somehow now “damaged goods”; as if what we went through is now our identity instead of a chapter (or a few chapters) in our life.
This month the theme of my podcast episodes is self-worth, and I can’t imagine a better place to start than tackling this nonsense with a lens on gaslighting.  
 
Welcome to Deconstructing Gaslighting the podcast. I’m your host, Sarah Morales. And if you’re new here, welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. I hope that the resources I have on this podcast and website help you find clarity, empowerment, and healing. Check it out, or better yet – schedule a free consultation call with me!
 
My guest today is Phoenix Gould.
Story Time: Sarah and Phoenix talk about Phoenix's experience growing up with a Narcissistic mother, how that caused her to have a core of, "I'm broken", and the journey of healing. Along the way, they both discuss the common obstacles to overcoming this belief, and things both they and their clients find helpful in living from a place of wholeness.

Top Take-Aways: (5-10 min)
Phoenix's guided mediation: Free Radical Self-Love PracticeDo Kintsugi as an embodiment experience!Find/create a mantra that connects you to what your authentic/higher/wiser self would say about you.

If you want to understand more about the ways gaslighting has shown up in your life, and robbed you of knowing yourself, loving yourself, and trusting yourself, check out my website. I have offerings that will help you break the hold self-gaslighting has had over you and help you step into that Radical self-love.

As always, I invite you to follow me on your preferred social media platform where we can connect and interact… I’m on Facebook and Instagram the most, but I do have videos on TikTok, too.
You can find Phoenix on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube. She also has a Facebook Group for Women, and a Free Coffee Chat with Phoenix!

Thank you, my listener, for listening to today’s episode.  If you found it helpful, and want to help me get it in the hands of more people who could benefit from it, please leave a review and subscribe. Additionally, if you can