Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

Cheryl Fraser
  • 5.0 (93)
  • HEALTH & FITNESS
Sex, Love & Elephants with Dr. Cheryl

Ever notice that everything you thought would make you happy ever after...didn’t?   Me too. Turns out Shaun Cassidy was NOT my soulmate, orgasms only last a few seconds, and happiness is an inside job.   As a psychologist, Buddhist teacher, sex therapist & author of Buddha’s Bedroom my mission is to kick you off the couch and into your unfolded life. But first, you gotta meet your elephant. So let’s go. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 4 DAYS AGO

    Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Are you a Romance Dud? 3 Tips for More Romance

    Want to Rate your Relationship and Learn the Three Keys to Long Term Love?  Take the Passion Quiz Now!  “But Dr. Cheryl, don’t you know that romance is dead?”  “How can I be as sexy as those guys my wife reads about in her steamy books?” “Will I ever stop waiting for my rom com meet-cute whirlwind romance?!” It's pretty easy to be cynical about modern love. We’re so misled by the media and romantic comedies and romance novels about what love should look like that it can be really dangerous to our relationships. We have this illusion that love and romance need to be a certain way, but the truth is that real life relationships are a whole lot different than what we see on the screen or read on the page.  On this Sex, Love, and Elephants rewind, I’m teaching you my biggest tips to create and sustain romance between you and your partner through 2025 and beyond.  When’s the last time you and your sweetheart really thought out of the box for a date night? What about exploring a whole new-to-you cuisine, stepping out of your typical movie genre box, or even learning to ice skate together (and sharing a laughing fit when you both end up on your bottoms!) It can be hard to get out of your comfortable rut, but branching out can bring some much needed spice and bonding time to a long term relationship.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: The most important predictor of happiness, health, and well being in our lives is the health and happiness of our romantic relationship (00:40) Idealized portrayals of love can be damaging to our real life relationship (03:38) Date nights are a no-brainer and a non-negotiable (04:38) A great relationship is about taking action (11:16) Expressing gratitude lowers your heart rate and your stress response (12:09) Get off your butt and celebrate with your sweetheart (16:18) Today’s LoveByte (18:56) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!  Let’s Connect!   Follow @DrCherylFraser on Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube

    22 min

  2. JAN 20

    Best of Sex, Love & Elephants: Stop Ugly Fighting! 3 Tips to Argue Effectively

    Want to Rate your Relationship and Learn the Three Keys to Long Term Love?  Take the Passion Quiz Now!  “But Dr. Cheryl, shouldn’t the goal be not to have any arguments with my sweetheart?” If you’re a human being who loves another human being, do you truly think it's healthy to never argue with your sweetheart? To never disagree, never have a tense conversation or one that leads to you feeling anxious or worried or hurt or angry?  On this Sex, Love, and Elephants rewind, I’m teaching you why a long term relationship with no fighting or arguing is one giant red flag. When you’re arguing with your partner, you literally cannot know their side of things. You can’t see their side of the clock, you can’t visualize what they're seeing—they have a different background, a different family upbringing, different hopes and dreams. It’s this simple, powerful idea that often becomes one of the most important teachings for couples in my Become Passion program.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Couples who don’t have conflict are avoiding the tough topics (02:00) One of the best ways to improve your communication is to take a step back from what's happening in the moment (09:38) To argue effectively, you and your honey need to agree on a “time out” signal (12:40) When we're triggered and irrational, we are being hijacked by our emotions (14:28) We make mistakes and our partners make mistakes—learn to apologize like a pro (19:30) Today’s LoveByte (21:09) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!  Let’s Connect!   Follow @DrCherylFraser on Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube

    25 min

  3. JAN 13

    Three Tips for Better Sex in 2024

    “Dr. Cheryl, we never have sex anymore!”  “Dr. Cheryl, with the kids, the dog, and the mortgage, there’s no time left for the bedroom!”  “Dr. Cheryl, our sex life has totally lost its spark—how did things become so boring?” These are the types of questions I hear repeatedly from the couples in my Become Passion program, and they’re the sort of issues that nearly every long term relationship goes through. Whether you’ve found yourself running your marriage like a business or your sex life has become as exciting as a 12 hour Netflix binge, there is hope and you and your honey CAN bring the sexy back. On this episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about how to improve your sex life in the new year. I'm very passionate about helping long term couples just like you improve your relationship and I’ve had plenty of practice doing it. Today, you’ll hear three tried and true tips to start out 2024 with your most sensual foot forward.  In This Episode, You’ll Learn: My first tip for better sex is to practice more non-erotic touch (01:43) The three breath hug is a great way to start regularly using non-erotic touch (03:15) Tip number 2: Schedule sensual time (05:55) Waiting for spontaneous sexual desire is like waiting for a teenager to spontaneously clean their room (08:51) Whether you're making love these days or not, try bathing together naked (14:37) Tip three: Please, be a little more creative! (20:11) Today’s LoveByte (21:55) Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open April 2024! Click here to join the waitlist.  Still not sure about joining? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner. Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Follow  @drcherylfraser on Instagram  Let’s Connect!   About Me Instagram Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Facebook Page   Youtube If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

    25 min

  4. 12/30/2024

    Dr. Cheryl & Her Hubby Talk Sex, Love & Life: SLE Holiday Rewind Vol 2

    “Dr. Cheryl, how do I bring back the spark?” “How do I spice up my sex life with my spouse?” “Am I in a sexless marriage?” I'm a sex expert— That means my sex life is like a romantic comedy mixed with an erotic novel, right? Well, a lot of that used to be true, but things don’t always stay all sunshine, butterflies, and constant bunny rabbit sex… Today’s episode of Sex, Love & Elephants is a look back at my number one episode of 2024. You’ll hear my hubby and I sit down for a chat about all things sensuality, sex, and what to do when those things stop being easy. In This Episode, You Will Learn: The lust you have for a stranger is a fleeting thing (05:57) Menopause can cause a radical downshift in a couple’s sex life (15:38) Sexuality is neglected in long term couples—but there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re not having constant spontaneous desire (21:09) There are biological reasons for our lust to fade in a long term relationship (29:36)  Top Tip? Schedule Sex! Today’s LoveByte (39:19) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

    43 min

  5. 12/16/2024

    Sensual Ways to Stuff a Stocking & Make the Holidays Romantic: SLE Holiday Rewind Vol 2

    “Dr. Cheryl, how can I be more present for my sweetheart?” “What’s the number one gift to give my spouse?” “How do I make Christmas more exciting?” This season, remember that gifts don’t have to have a monetary value. Show your partner you care by being intentional and letting them know how much they matter to you. A happy, healthy relationship involves shared rituals—why not give your lover the gift of presence? On today’s classic episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll hear a rerelease of one of my all time favorite episodes where I focus on the sex and love part of Christmas and show you some special ways to make this time together magical.  Remember being a kid on Christmas morning, waking up even before the sun… overwhelmed and giddy at the idea of what Santa Claus might’ve brought? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to recapture that special, magical feeling—even long after we stop believing in old St. Nick? In This Episode, You Will Learn: Yes, you CAN make the holidays more romantic and sexy and avoid becoming totally burnt out by the end of the season (04:33)  It’s not about the presents, it’s about the presence (11:00) If you've got  little inquiring eyes and ears around, put your stocking stuffer in an envelope or add an IOU for an erotic massage (12:34) If you don't celebrate Christmas, you don't have to put your gifts in a stocking (13:52) Why not try out The 12 Days of Christmas for Couples? Instead of a partridge in a pear tree, what about dancing to a romantic song together in the living room? (18:08) Today’s LoveByte (25:52) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

    28 min

  6. 12/09/2024

    Improve your Relationship Over the Holidays: SLE Holiday Rewind Vol 1

    “Dr. Cheryl, can I make the holidays special with my sweetheart?” “Why do I feel so burnt out at Christmastime?” “How can I prioritize my spouse?” No matter what you celebrate, the beginning of December always feels like the unofficial start to the busiest time of year. There are company holiday parties, the kids have their plays and concerts, and the family gatherings can feel endless… And with all that commotion, who has the time to make things feel special with their sweet heart? In today’s throwback episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, it’s all about taking the chaotic, overscheduled energy of December and using some of it to honor and cherish the one who’s by your side through it all.  Tune in and remember that first holiday season you spent with your sweetie. When you were dating and wooing and falling in love, you probably made a heck of a lot more effort during the holidays. You probably shopped more carefully, you probably did some romantic or sexy or fun gifts, and you probably really thought about: “How can I light my sweetheart up?”  In This Episode, You Will Learn: In the December holiday season, couples gets lost (02:03) Valentine’s Day is a manufactured money grabbing cheap chocolate holiday—but if you open your mind, it can be a reminder to be romantic as heck (03:22) Your love affair doesn't take care of itself. You need to make passion a priority (12:13) It takes work and effort and repetition to improve and to be good at what you do—if you rest on your laurels, your laurels tend to fall apart (12:52) Your challenge is to make this holiday season joyful, compassionate, and generous—but also make it about the two of you. Carve out at least one special holiday date (13:38) This week’s LoveByte (14:40) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

    17 min

  7. 11/25/2024

    Grade Your Relationship: Pass or Fail? It’s Time For a Passion Performance Review

    Dr. Cheryl, is it time to reconsider my relationship? When did my hubby become so boring?  My partner cheated on me—how do I get over it? Have you ever done a relationship performance review? At work, your supervisor probably calls you in once a quarter or once a year. They give you feedback on where you're doing well, where you need to pick up the slack, and maybe even if you’re being considered for a promotion or in danger of being let go.  On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m talking all about the idea of a performance review—but this time, it’s not at your job, it’s a check in for you and your sweetheart.  Does your partner know what's lighting you up these days? What makes you feel good? Do they know what you're worried about? Do they know what's on your mind? If you can’t answer all or any of these questions, it might be time for a review of your relationship. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Every relationship is vulnerable to falling into Marriage Incorporated (03:57) We all miss the thrill of the honeymoon phase, but it doesn’t have to be gone for good (08:33) If you don’t find your partner interesting anymore, someone else will (10:57) Most affairs aren’t planned (14:03) Join the wait list for the free workshops I'm teaching in early 2025 (22:00) Today’s LoveByte (34:09) Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

    36 min

  8. 11/11/2024

    Prisoners of the Mind—Why Suffering is Up to You: A Dharma Talk with Dr. Cheryl

    Dr. Cheryl, how can I be happier in my circumstances? Why is my anxiety so overpowering?  How can I stop obsessing about the future? What’s the cause of happiness? Could you be happier in a prison than you'd be in a monastery? And if we're accepting where we are, no matter good or bad, doesn't that mean that we're free?  Today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants features a Dharma Talk centered around suffering and why so much of our mental hardships are a choice that we make. Have you ever felt at times like you can't get out of an emotional state of anxiety or worry? Even when you know that much of it is a story and a lot of it is casting worry about the future? Even when you know that it’s something you'll be able to pivot and cope through? If you’ve answered yes, there’s no reason to be ashamed. There are times when we all fall prey to thinking like this.  In This Episode, You Will Learn: This too shall pass (06:11) Whether your in prison or paradise, your attitude is your choice (28:24) We all have self-imposed labels that stop us from being free (30:54) Beliefs are simply understandings that make sense based on what we currently know (47:37) We often find ourselves in the prison of the past or the prison of the future (51:29] Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz. Let’s Connect!   Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here  Youtube Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

    1h 4m
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5
out of 5
93 Ratings

About

Ever notice that everything you thought would make you happy ever after...didn’t?   Me too. Turns out Shaun Cassidy was NOT my soulmate, orgasms only last a few seconds, and happiness is an inside job.   As a psychologist, Buddhist teacher, sex therapist & author of Buddha’s Bedroom my mission is to kick you off the couch and into your unfolded life. But first, you gotta meet your elephant. So let’s go. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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