The 90 Percent Tina and Clayton of The Therapy Studio

In this episode, we discuss what affection is and how to show your partner affection in their love language.



Updated info: The Gottman magic ratio is specific to positivity *during conflict* and that outside of conflict, that ratio can be as high as 20 positive things to 1 negative, in strong relationships.



RESOURCES:

Article: How to Show Affection in a Relationship

Love Language Quiz

Article: Share Fondness and Admiration

Article: The Magic Ratio



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Want us to create a podcast specifically with YOU in mind? Submit topic requests for future episodes here: www.therapystudiostl.com/podcast

Your weekly hour in therapy is only about 10% of the work, so what do we do about the rest?. Welcome to The 90 Percent podcast, a candid conversation about mental health and wellness featuring approachable tips you can use IRL. The 90 Percent is hosted by Tina and Clayton of The Therapy Studio, a creative + progressive approach to counseling.

Disclaimer: The 90 Percent podcast is produced for educational purposes only. Although we hope it helps you live a happier healthier life, this podcast is not intended as medical advice nor as a replacement for counseling. You may want to consult with your doctor and/or therapist before attempting any of the strategies offered here.

In this episode, we discuss what burnout is, the burnout spectrum, ways to prevent burnout, ways to cope with burnout, and resources to further your knowledge about burnout.



PREVENT BURNOUT:


set boundaries
put your needs and yourself first
develop ways to rest and restore

COPE WITH BURNOUT:


utilize self-compassion
rest and recover
reestablish and revisit your boundaries



RESOURCES:

Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski: https://a.co/d/9FZIqzU

When The Body Says No by Gabor Mate: https://a.co/d/4eKJYw2

Andrew Huberman* & Non Sleep Deep Rest meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKGrmY8OSHM

Self-Compassion book by Kristen Neff: https://a.co/d/bwTvI2t

Self-Compassion Quiz: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/

*Dr. Huberman mentions NSDR in almost every podcast episode about self-care tips



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Want us to create a podcast specifically with YOU in mind? Submit topic requests for future episodes here: www.therapystudiostl.com/podcast

Your weekly hour in therapy is only about 10% of the work, so what do we do about the rest?. Welcome to The 90 Percent podcast, a candid conversation about mental health and wellness featuring approachable tips you can use IRL. The 90 Percent is hosted by Tina and Clayton of The Therapy Studio, a creative + progressive approach to counseling.

Disclaimer: The 90 Percent podcast is produced for educational purposes only. Although we hope it helps you live a happier healthier life, this podcast is not intended as medical advice nor as a replacement for counseling. You may want to consult with your doctor and/or therapist before attempting any of the strategies offered here.

Short Answer: be a great listener.



In this episode, Clayton, a Gottman-trained couples therapist, walks us through how to level up your communication skills by becoming a better listener.



SHOW NOTES:

1) Goal of Empathetic Listening: To understand your partner (and show you understand)



2) Key Guidelines for Listening:

- Put your own agenda/perspective aside, so you can focus on understanding, not responding/reacting

- Don’t defend yourself, criticize or put down your partner, or minimize their feelings

- Listen for your partner’s feelings, not just the meaning of what they’re saying

- Avoid taking responsibility for their feelings

- Save any potential solutions or problem-solving for later, if they’re welcomed by your partner



3) Three tools for empathetic listening:

- Summarize: this communicates understanding, enables clarification, and “chunks” conversations

- Ask Open-Ended Questions: these questions invite fuller explanations and show that you’re interested

- Empathize/Validate Feelings: these show that you understand their feelings and can relate to them, which tends to validate and increase emotional connection



RESOURCES:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/listen-without-getting-defensive/

https://www.gottman.com/blog/understanding-must-precede-advice/

https://www.facebook.com/GottmanInstitute/photos/a.469547105864/10158378228450865/?type=3

https://positivepsychology.com/empathic-listening/

In this episode, we talk about a topic chosen by one of our listeners--preventative couples therapy, aka going to couples therapy with the intention to improve, fine tune, and/or deepen your relationship with each other.

Listen to hear more about:


Different reasons why people go to couples therapy--to fix a problem vs. to strengthen their connection proactively
What this proactive approach to couples therapy might look and/or feel like
Benefits of going to couples therapy from a preventative perspective (i.e., the why)



RESOURCES MENTIONED:


Gottman Method: https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/
Gottman Method's Sound Relationship House: https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-the-sound-relationship-house/
Emotion-focused Couples Therapy: https://iceeft.com/what-is-eft/
How to send us a Listener's Choice topic:  www.therapystudiostl.com/podcast
Joanna Townsend: https://www.instagram.com/joannatalksfeelings/

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Want us to create a podcast specifically with YOU in mind? Submit topic requests for future episodes here: www.therapystudiostl.com/podcast

Your weekly hour in therapy is only about 10% of the work, so what do we do about the rest?. Welcome to The 90 Percent podcast, a candid conversation about mental health and wellness featuring approachable tips you can use IRL. The 90 Percent is hosted by Tina and Clayton of The Therapy Studio, a creative + progressive approach to counseling.

Disclaimer: The 90 Percent podcast is produced for educational purposes only. Although we hope it helps you live a happier healthier life, this podcast is not intended as medical advice nor as a replacement for counseling. You may want to consult with your doctor and/or therapist before attempting any of the strategies offered here.

In this episode, we introduce the first topic of our "What We're Learning" series, Brainspotting! We are both certified Brainspotting practitioners and utilize brainspotting techniques in our therapeutic practice.

Brainspotting is a somatic therapy that uses spots in your visual field to heal trauma and emotional baggage.

Listen to hear more about:


What Brainspotting is
What Brainspotting is used for
What got us into Brainspotting
What we like about it
Some of our biggest takeaways and coolest experiences so far using Brainspotting

RESOURCES MENTIONED:


Learn more about brainspotting and find a certified practitioner: www.brainspotting.com
Watch Tina's brainspotting demo with Dr. Jessica Rabon on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iloC5u60ME
David Grand (founder of Brainspotting) explains Brainspotting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm3Plvaf3UE
David Grand's book on Brainspotting: https://www.target.com/p/brainspotting-by-david-grand-paperback/-/A-77305513

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Want us to create a podcast specifically with YOU in mind? Submit topic requests for future episodes here: www.therapystudiostl.com/podcast

Your weekly hour in therapy is only about 10% of the work, so what do we do about the rest?. Welcome to The 90 Percent podcast, a candid conversation about mental health and wellness featuring approachable tips you can use IRL. The 90 Percent is hosted by Tina and Clayton of The Therapy Studio, a creative + progressive approach to counseling.

Disclaimer: The 90 Percent podcast is produced for educational purposes only. Although we hope it helps you live a happier healthier life, this podcast is not intended as medical advice nor as a replacement for counseling. You may want to consult with your doctor and/or therapist before attempting any of the strategies offered here.

Tina and Clayton discuss adult friendships in detail--particularly why it is so difficult to make friends during adulthood. We share three strategies that might jumpstart your search for new friends and also share ideas of where to find them.

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Want us to create a podcast specifically with YOU in mind? Submit topic requests for future episodes here: www.therapystudiostl.com/podcast

Your weekly hour in therapy is only about 10% of the work, so what do we do about the rest?. Welcome to The 90 Percent podcast, a candid conversation about mental health and wellness featuring approachable tips you can use IRL. The 90 Percent is hosted by Tina and Clayton of The Therapy Studio, a creative + progressive approach to counseling.

Disclaimer: The 90 Percent podcast is produced for educational purposes only. Although we hope it helps you live a happier healthier life, this podcast is not intended as medical advice nor as a replacement for counseling. You may want to consult with your doctor and/or therapist before attempting any of the strategies offered here.