85 episodes

An intersectional healing podcast for survivors of sexual assault and any/all abuse. When survivors share, they share strength. "Finding OK" helps people navigate this difficult healing process. The focus is on recovery, self-care, empowerment, and healing. You are not alone.

Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse Hecate

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 32 Ratings

An intersectional healing podcast for survivors of sexual assault and any/all abuse. When survivors share, they share strength. "Finding OK" helps people navigate this difficult healing process. The focus is on recovery, self-care, empowerment, and healing. You are not alone.

    Let Me Prey Upon You - Healing After Clergy Abuse

    Let Me Prey Upon You - Healing After Clergy Abuse

    Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivors of clergy abuse as a board member of the Council Against Child Abuse and through her work with The Hope of Survivors. Today Sandy will be sharing her story, and we'll be discussing her incredibly powerful book.

    Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.”
    Sandy's Website: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/

    Sandy's Book:
    https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/

    https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-me-prey-upon-you-breaking-free-from-a-minister-s-sexual-abuse-sandy-phillips-kirkham/13830913?ean=9781734195200

    The Hope of Survivors: http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.org/

    Council on Child Abuse: https://www.cocachild.org/

    GRACE: https://www.netgrace.org/

    SNAP: https://www.snapnetwork.org/

    Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
    Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

    Support the podcast and become a Patreon member!
    https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

    Finding OK is funded entirely by the generosity of listeners like you!
    https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

    Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

    Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3



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    • 1 hr 33 min
    Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 2

    Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 2

    Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy,  how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU,  and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong.

    Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
    Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links

    Andrew's Podcasts-

    Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
    Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger

    Andrew's Interview with Josh Harris
    https://youtu.be/qRwx4OoS2aM?si=Qtv8ifHW5vICIB9W

    The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
    https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

    Conversion Therapy
    https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy

    Pattern of Narcissistic Abuse
    https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/narcissistic-relationship-pattern

    Hypnotherapy for Trauma
    https://psychcentral.com/health/hypnotherapy-trauma#hypnotherapy-for-treating-trauma

    IndoctriNation Podcast
    https://www.podpage.com/indoctrination/

    Deconstruction Reddit Threads
    https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/

    https://www.reddit.com/r/cultsurvivors/?xpromo_edp=enabled

    Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/

    Become a Patreon member!
    https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

    Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

    Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

    Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

    Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3


    Support the show

    • 1 hr 50 min
    Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 1

    Escaping Fundamentalism and Speaking Out - Part 1

    Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew and I had a wonderful talk which I'll be sharing in two parts. This episode is focused on Andrew's experience of being raised in a Christian cult (IFB), the effect indoctrination had on his mental health, and his time at BJU up until the pandemic. The rest of his story will air next week.

    Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/
    Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links

    Andrew's Podcasts-

    Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6
    Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger

    Subjects that came up in discussion-

    Family Research Council:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Research_Council
    https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/family-research-council

    Institute in Basic Life Principles & Bill Gothard:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_in_Basic_Life_Principles
    https://people.com/who-is-bill-gothard-the-institute-in-basic-life-principles-founder-7506014

    Umbrella of Authority:
    https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/05/umbrella-of-oppression/

    Focus on the Family: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_Family

    GRACE Reports: https://www.netgrace.org/investigation-archive

    The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth:
    https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

    Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/

    Become a Patreon member!
    https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

    Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
    Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
    Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

    Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3






    Support the show

    • 2 hr 10 min
    Raising Yourself

    Raising Yourself

    Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved. 

    Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/
    Alice's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland?lang=en
    Alice's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alicecottonsox/

    Here are some of my favorites of her videos!
    Going Outside:
    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7197807235156757765?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7238978249345289498?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7237546556323384603?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7213016240347024645?lang=en

    Trauma Talk:
    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7217381847066479878?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7241885515643899163?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7191874000010743046?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7188860104647757061?lang=en

    Alice Being Awesome
    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7227840114544741659?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7194465830086774022?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7174066013716286725?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7155122264155884805?lang=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7154382013007482118?lang=en

    Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

    Become a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

    Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/

    Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3
    Support the show

    • 55 min
    Broken vs. Wounded

    Broken vs. Wounded

    Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different experience of the word and we share stories that might help you ask yourself some important questions.
     Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies.

    Questions I encourage listeners to ask themselves at the end of the episode:
    1. What words do I use to talk about my pain or trauma?
    2. Do these words have any hidden implications that I might not have considered?
    3. How does my culture interact with broken things?
    4. How did my family or the people who raised me interact with broken things when I was growing up?
    5.  How do my own experiences or medical history impact the way I think about the words, "broken" or "wounded"?
    6. Do the words I’m using to talk about my trauma keep me in an old thought pattern?
    7. Are the words I’m using to talk about my trauma healthy or useful to me? Do they need to change?
    8. What body system do I most relate to and why?

    Learn more about the history of Kintsugi and see a Master at work:
    https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/kintsugi/

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UU

    Podcast Website
    https://www.finding-ok.com/

    Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project and an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. Listeners are invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. At the end of the Season all the letters will be read and then burned in a special episode. Learn more about how to participate here: INSERT LINK

    Hecate's Links
    https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

    Join the Patreon!
    https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

    Donate to Finding OK
    https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

    Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself 3



    Support the show

    • 21 min
    Personal Update - Witches, Crows, Art, and Growth

    Personal Update - Witches, Crows, Art, and Growth

    I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now.
    In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this witchy gathering! I let you know which rituals, workshops, and lectures I attended and which ones were my favorites. I share some of my time at the family cabin in Wisconsin, my progress befriending my local murder of crows, joining my local printmaking studio, and a surprising moment of post traumatic growth and healing I had recently. I'm so excited to be back! Let's gooooo

     Paganicon
    https://tcpaganpride.org/paganicon-landing-page/

    Laura Tempest Zakroff
    https://lauratempestzakroff.com/
    Art and Shop
    https://owlkeyme.square.site/

    Omega Artworks - Ritual Blades
    https://www.omegaartworks.com/

    Watchful Coyote - Jack
    https://healthecycle.com/
    TikTok
    https://www.tiktok.com/@watchfulcoyote?lang=en

    I Got Out
    http://www.igotout.org/

    Hecate's Links
    https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

    Join Patreon
    https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK

    Letters for the Fire
    https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/
    Support the show

    • 52 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
32 Ratings

32 Ratings

Ella_Loves_Cheesecake ,

Obilis is AWSOME!

She is my favorite WEBTOONs artist and anything she supports I will. I totally recommend her work as a personal survivor or sexual trauma and abuse.

arb1098 ,

An amazing person doing amazing things

This podcast means everything. 80% of these mental health podcast are so clinical and makes me feel like I’m at the doctor. Once I found Hecate and Finding OK, I felt like they were an anonymous friend trying to help others speak up. Sharing this space with survivors is magnificent. So excited to join the podcast here soon!

Kalpashree ,

Fantastic podcast!

Hecate asks very though provoking questions🔥 and I found very authentic conversations inclusive of the perspectives of the most marginalized people in our societies. Highly recommend this podcast (of course, I’m biased as I was a guest on this podcast😘). Take a listen or share with someone who this may help.

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