Haven‪!‬ Evergreen Podcasts

I think sometimes with the media we are set up to think we will have the one "end all / be all / bff" friend that will fulfill all our bestie needs. But that's just a lot of pressure and expectation to put on someone. I like to see my relationships like a color palette - I want allllll the colors.
The yellows which are the girls I just go to the nail salon with and talk about the Bachelor.
Passionate reds who are chasing their career dreams and can gas me up and inspire me to go for my goals.
Deep blues for when I'm going through something hard and need to process it with their wisdom.
Light pinks which are maybe my neighbors who I walk to the Sunday farmer's market with and talk about whatever.
Some people can carry multiple colors but ultimately, just like in marriage, I can't expect one to meet all my needs.
For this topic I bring in a multi-color friend of mine, Tess Roy, and we talk about how the nuances of this topic like...

Is it easy or difficult for you to make friends? 

How do you personally handle when someone wants to commit to a deeper friendship but you’re either not interested, or can’t meet them where they’re at?

Who is one great friend you’ve had in your life and what made them special? 


I hope after you listen you leave with a new appreciation for some relationships in your life.

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.”
That reference is of course a line written by William Shakespeare from the play Romeo and Juliet to convey that the naming of things is irrelevant.
But, I want to explore that. 
My friend has a theory that asking someone “how did you get your name?” is an noninvasive way to hear about their origin story and a way to learn a lot about them. It taps into past generations of humans with how we are given our names - while it is a seemingly benign question, it possibly can be an astute window into the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.
My guest for this episode, Erwin Raphael McManus, speaker & author of “Mind Shift” has a very unique name as well as backstory so I thought he’d be the perfect person to test this hypothesis. 
Throughout the episode he answers questions like…

If your name wasn’t given with meaning, how do you bring meaning to it?

What do you do if you don’t like your name?

Do women lose parts of their identity in taking their husband’s name?

It's been one full year since I've launched this pod!
I still get the question of "what made you want to start a podcast in the first place?" so I thought it would be fun to take it back to my "why" and also go into the greater concept of origin stories.
Did you know that research says that who you are before the age of 5 is likely your "truest self"? Unless you had something very traumatic impact you within that time frame, you were typically the most authentic, raw, and real version of your personality.
Before socialization, peer pressure, outside influences, and other environmental factors you were blissfully un-self aware and thus free to just BE.
So, how do we in adulthood look over our shoulder at our past self and appreciate that little version of us, but also take forward some of the necessary lessons life taught us since then?
I bring in the person who has known me for over 20 years and has seen the evolution of many versions of me in that time frame - my husband & best friend Aaron Weits.
Together we talk a bit about how childhood interests and personalities can be a window into what brings us even true peace & joy in adulthood.

What comes to mind when you think of mentorship? Oftentimes we picture the one-on-one type scenario like in Star Wars where Qui-Gon Jinn mentored Obi-Wan Kenobi who then later on matured and took Luke Skywalker under his wing.Yet, that can sometimes feel like a lot of pressure - to wait to be chosen by someone who sees something in you. Or, on the inverse side, it can be really difficult to select someone you want to invest your time & intention into that will truly benefit from your experience. I bring in my long-time (going on 10 years!) mentor in business, Mike Abercrombie, and we explore how mentorship is largely accidental. We discuss questions like - what is the difference between mentorship and coaching? What are the characteristics needed in a mentee? And, how do you know when you're ready to switch from mentee to mentor? Overall, you may find it to be less formulaic than we initially perceive and you can have micro-moments of mentorship in each stage of life.


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"Oh, are you feeling frustrated?"

"That sounds really frustrating..."

There are so many other words to express emotions other than "frustrated" but why was that the only one that what was coming to mind when I was trying to teach my toddler what was happening in their body?

Disappointed, jealous, embarrassed, angry, ashamed - those are way more on the mark and elicit an entirely different and appropriate response.

I realized that I may be emotionally illiterate - not only to identify and name the emotions, but to understand how they operate within my brain and psyche.

These are some of the conversations I've been having with Angel McNeil, the nanny who watches my kids and is currently studying these concepts in her Graduate program, so together we explore the science behind emotions, how to move through 8 of the most difficult ones, and overall hopefully scratch the surface of Emotional Literacy 101 together.


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The "gentle parenting" movement is all the rage right now.

At its core, gentle parenting is all about the relationship. It's talking about treating your child as a dignified human worth respect and choice all meanwhile teaching them emotional literacy and tools for how to handle the big feelings in their little bodies.

Many of us millennials entering into child rearing eras and are determined to do things differently than how we were raised during a more authoritarian time. So, of course, erring on the side of valuing the relationship as the most important component is enticing and alluring - but has the pendulum swung to far in the other direction?

Are we doomed to be sitting by the door during a meltdown saying "Yes, I hear you don't want to put your socks on... Sure, you wish you didn't have to wear those..." ad nauseam until they're late for school and we're late for work?

Tune in as I dive into this topic with my friend and child psychologist, Gaia Althsuler, to hear about the pros / cons of this movement and the middle ground of "gentle parenting-ish" where I find myself as a parent.


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Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support