The Science of Emotions & Relationships

In this episode, I discuss the biology of emotions and moods in the context of relationships. I focus on the science of how early infant-caregiver attachment, combined with adolescence and puberty shape our adult patterns of attachment. I explain the three universal aspects of emotions, the reality of right-brain versus left-brain personalities, and how the roots of adult attachment are also grounded in specific aspects of puberty. I review what factors determine when puberty starts and ends, and the role of oxytocin and other chemicals in controlling how we perceive and remember others. As always, I refer to various practical tools including new tools for understanding and predicting our emotions before they occur, and neurochemicals that shape human connection.

Access the full show notes, including referenced articles, resources and more, at hubermanlab.com.

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Timestamps

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:00:32) Sponsors: AG1, LMNT & Waking Up

(00:05:10) Announcing New Cost-Free Resources: Captions, NSDR Link

(00:07:40) Emotions: Subjective Yet Tractable

(00:10:53) To Understand Your Emotions: Look At Infancy & Puberty

(00:15:21) Your First Feeling Was Anxiety

(00:17:36) What Are “Healthy Emotions”?

(00:19:03) Digital Tool For Predicting Your Emotions: Mood Meter App

(00:21:08) The Architecture Of A Feeling: (At Least) 3 Key Questions To Ask Yourself

(00:24:00) You Are An Infant: Bonds & Predictions

(00:27:57) Attachment Style Hinges On How You Handle Disappointment

(00:32:40) “Glue Points” Of Emotional Bonds: Gaze, Voice, Affect, Touch, (& Written)

(00:36:34) “Emotional Health”: Awareness of the Interoceptive-Exteroceptive Dynamic

(00:37:50) An Exercise: Controlling Interoceptive-Exteroceptive Bias

(00:42:19) Getting Out Of Your Head: The Attentional Aperture

(00:46:59) Puberty: Biology & Emotions On Deliberate Overdrive

(00:47:58) Bodyfat & Puberty: The Leptin Connection

(00:50:34) Pheromones: Mates, Timing Puberty, Spontaneous Miscarriage

(00:54:37) Kisspeptin: Robust Trigger Of Puberty & Performance Enhancing Agent

(00:58:26) Neuroplasticity Of Emotions: Becoming Specialists & Testing Emotional Bonds

(01:00:25) Testing Driving Brain Circuits For Emotion: Dispersal

(01:07:48) Science-Based Recommendations for Adolescents and Teens: The Autonomy Buffet

(01:11:05) “Right-Brain Versus Left-Brain People”: Facts Versus Lies

(01:14:18) Left Brain = Language, Right Brain = Spatial Awareness

(01:16:15) How To Recognize “Right Brain Activity” In Speech: Prosody

(01:18:32) Oxytocin: The Molecule of Synchronizing States

(01:20:09) Mirror Neurons: Are Not For “Empathy”, Maybe For Predicting Behavior

(01:23:00) Promoting Trust & Monogamy

(01:27:00) Ways To Increase Oxytocin

(01:28:34) Vasopressin: Aphrodisiac, Non-Monogamy and Anti-Bed-Wetting Qualities

(01:30:43) Bonding Bodies, Not Just Minds: Vagus Nerve, Depression Relief Via the Body

(01:35:18) A Powerful Tool For Enhancing Range & Depth of Emotional Experience

(01:30:43) MDMA and Other Psychedelic Compounds: Building A Framework

(01:38:54) Roundup, Various Forms of Support

Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac