The Know with Nikki Spo Nikki Spo

Okay so. This week is a little different. My girl, Jamie Ruiz is here interviewing ME to get all the TEA… Jamie and I have been besties for forever and she has been a guest on The Know a few times now. She is a life coach and is helping hundreds of women achieve their goals and dreams and live the life that they have always wanted to live. But yeah. Um… she’s going in on me this week and she’s not holding back. 



In this episode…
“Fumbling the bag”I ain’t sayin she’s a gold digger. Social media haters The struggle bus of money Life experiences 


Quotes 

“I don't think I fumbled any bags because my bag is peace, and when peace is involved I don’t think you’re fumbling any bags.” - Nikki Spo 


“I’m interested in coming home to myself and I think a lot of people want that but they don’t know that they want it.” - Nikki Spo 

“Life can be good on the other side of a sad experience.” - Nikki Spo 

“Sometimes you start relationships as one version of yourself and either one person changes or both people change and you’re no longer an energetic match for each other. And that’s okay.” - Jamie Ruiz

“Things last however long they need to last and we grow into the versions of ourselves that we need to be and we make our exits where we need to make our exits.” - Jamie Ruiz 



Timestamps:
0:00 - 3:20 | Intro 
3:20 - 5:20 | Why Jamie is interviewing Nikki 
5:20 - 12:10 | Answering the haters 
12:10 - 22:29 | The struggle bus of money 
22:29 - 26:40 | The Know 
26:40 - 28:45 | Podcast content changing post divorce 
28:45 - 34:35 | Dating 
34:35 - 41:20 | Finding an outlet  
41:20 - 42:36 | Outro 



– 
Painless Pregnancy is a group of physical therapists located in South Florida who specialize in helping pregnant and postpartum women prevent dysfunction and heal… in the comfort of their own homes. This concierge service has been a game changer for me after my third childbirth, and I am excited to partner with them and offer our Listeners 10% off their first visit with my code NikkiSpo10. Check out www.painless-pregnancy.com to book your appointment!




Connect with Jamie 
https://www.jamieleeruiz.com/ 
jameslee4 



Connect with Nikki 
www.nikkispo.com  
@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo 



Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-know-with-nikki-spo/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to The Know! We are on that continuous healing journey vibe so today I am excited to introduce you to Cari Fund who is a passionate advocate for women's empowerment and emotional healing. With a mission to inspire women to turn their pain into potential, Cari encourages them to be the women they were born to be and the parents that they never had. Tune in!



In this episode…
Leading by example Learning from trauma Healthy mom vs. toxic mom Being your true self Generational trauma Ongoing healing journey Toxic upbringing 


Quotes

“Pain keeps you silent and shame keeps you so silent .” - Cari Fund 

“It's all about the tiny little shifts. Get a therapist, talk to your friends, don't carry shame, secrets, disappointment, and pain with you because it's going to come out in everything in your life and it's going to take away your joy.” - Cari Fund

“If you're a mom and you have kids, your past is going to parent your children if you let it.” - Cari Fund 

“It's really interesting and fascinating to see who sticks around when you start to speak your truth, because some people really don't like it.” - Nikki Spo 

“I think about anxiety a lot because I wonder if I’m anxious or am I just operating from a place of fear in my upbringing? Like, am I anxious or is my environment genuinely stimulating this anxiety?” - Nikki Spo 

“It feels good to feel good so do what makes you feel good.” - Cari Fund 



Timestamps: 
0:00 - 1:20 | Intro 
1:20 - 6:10 | Facing challenges 
6:10 - 7:50 | Cari’s accomplishments 
7:50 - 10:50 | Toxic mom vs. healthy mom 
10:50 - 14:25 | Not hiding behind a character 
14:25 - 18:40 | Finding people and things that support you 
18:40 - 22:13 | Leading by example 
22:13 - 29:30 | Recovering 
29:30 - 34:40 | Balancing motherhood while healing 
34:40 - 40:05 | Sharing family and relationships on social media 
40:05 - 41:47 | Outro 



–
SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.


Connect with Cari 
https://www.cari.fund/ 
@cari.fund  



Connect with Nikki 
www.nikkispo.com  
@nikkisappspo /  @theknowwithnikkispo


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-know-with-nikki-spo/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What’s up fam! Today we are welcoming back Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri for another conversation about narcissism and how to navigate it. This is part two of a multi-part series that we are doing and I'm really honored to have this opportunity to chat with her again. In our previous episode together, we talked about some of the different types of narcissism and narcissism in general and today we are focusing on the effects of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person. Tune in!



In this episode… 
Spectrum of personality traits Relationship patterns of narcissism Love bombing The 3 C’sRed flags Trauma bondingDIMMER - what it means and what to look forGaslighting 


Quotes:

“Narcissists come across as being really curious about you, but really what they're doing is they're collecting as much information so that they can use it against you.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“Trauma bonded is trauma occurring within the relationship and that is the bond between the two.” - Nikki Spo 

“Gaslighting mostly occurs by a person who you trust.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“Lying is a denial of reality and gaslighting goes on to dismantle the target.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“I've learned over the years that I can't control how other people treat me or what they do to me or what they say to me or how they try to make me feel. I can only control my reaction to things and how I respond to those situations.” - Nikki Spo 

“You can't gaslight me because I know myself. I know who I am. But when you are in a space of not knowing who you are and slowly your self-worth is being chipped away at and that breaks down over and now you feel like your self-worth is completely diminished, that person is easy to gaslight.” - Nikki Spo 

“Gaslighting is the pathologically insecure person who's preying on the conventionally insecure person.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“Let's not blame the victim. Let's give them the support that they need. Let's give them the understanding.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 



Timestamps: 
0:00 - 2:10 | Intro 
2:10 - 5:20 | Relationship patterns of narcissism 
5:20 - 8:25 | Breakdown of narcissistic relationships: Love bombing  
8:25 - 11:55 | Identifying the red flags 
11:55 - 14:05 | Trauma bonded 
14:05 - 15:55 | The devaluing phase 
15:55 - 22:40 | Manipulation 
22:40 - 34:05 | Gaslighting
34:05 - 39:45 | The D and R of DIMMER 
39:45 - 42:40 | Hoovering 
42:40 - 46:05 | Having a narcissistic partner 
46:05 - 48:55 | Cognitive fallouts 
48:55 - 51:15 | Emotional or interpersonal fallouts 
51:15 - 52:10 | Fallout of identity 
52:10 - 53:25 | Physical and behavioral fallout 
53:25 - 55:50 | Giving support 
55:50 - 57:44 | Outro 










– 
SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.



–
When shopping for a new car, Toyota of North Miami has to be at the top of your list. Toyota of North Miami is a Miami based dealership that offers you a superior selection of new Toyota vehicles as well as a large inventory of used vehicles and certified pre owned Toyotas. Right now, you can lease a new Toyota Corolla for just $79 a month and get free car washes for life. Be sure to check out Toyota of North Miami for all of your car purchasing needs. 






Connect with Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 
https://buxanicare.com/rachna-buxani-mirpuri/ 
@bruxanicare 




Connect with Nikki 
www.nikkispo.com  
@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo 


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-know-with-nikki-spo/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What’s up fam! Today I am welcoming back a woman who I feel comfortable enough now to call a regular, Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri, for a conversation about narcissism and how to navigate it. Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri is a licensed mental health counselor. With nearly 20 years of experience nationally and internationally, she has worked in government, private practice and school settings. Her approach focuses on providing a safe and empathetic environment for clients to heal and become resilient and empowering them to reclaim their strength. Let’s jump in! 



In this episode… 
Education around narcissismNarcissistic abuse Different types of narcissism Self worth/respect vs. narcissistic tendencies Attention seeking The vulnerable narcissist The grandiose narcissistThe malignant narcissist 


Quotes:

“I think the sign of a really great psychologist or any type of professional is somebody who's willing to keep learning about it.” - Nikki Spo

“Remember that the arrogance and the envy of others and the grandiosity is really just covering up a deep level of insecurity.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri

“I have a self esteem that's not dependent on somebody else. For a narcissist, it's completely and solely based on what other people think of them.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri

“Narcissism is a problem in relationships because what it's doing is it's hurting the people in these relationships much more than it's hurting the narcissist.” -  Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri

“Where it really gets tricky is when you live with a narcissist and you are building meaningful relationships or trying to build these meaningful relationships.” - Nikki Spo




Timestamps:
0:00 - 3:40 | Intro 
3:40 - 6:10 | Education around narcissism 
6:10 - 9:00 | Diagnostic and statistic manual 
9:00 - 10:55 | Defining narcissism 
10:55 - 16:20 | Differentiating having self worth/respect vs. having narcissistic tendencies  
16:20 - 26:18 | Different types of narcissism 
26:18 - 27:55 | The malignant narcissist 
27:55 - 36:15 | Empathy 
36:15 - 39:20 | Interpersonal relationships 
39:20 - 44:00 | Defining gaslighting
44:00 - 47:30 | Understanding the cause of narcissism 
47:30 - 50:16 | Outro 





–
Painless Pregnancy is a group of physical therapists located in South Florida who specialize in helping pregnant and postpartum women prevent dysfunction and heal… in the comfort of their own homes. This concierge service has been a game changer for me after my third childbirth, and I am excited to partner with them and offer our Listeners 10% off their first visit with my code NikkiSpo10. Check out www.painless-pregnancy.com to book your appointment!






Connect with Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 
https://buxanicare.com/rachna-buxani-mirpuri/ 
@bruxanicare 




Connect with Nikki 
www.nikkispo.com  
@nikkisappspo /  @theknowwithnikkispo 


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-know-with-nikki-spo/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What is upppp! Today we have an awesome episode with my friend Shea Curtin. Shea is the vice president at one of the largest financial institutions in the world who focuses on wealth management and financial education. She's a global sports and entertainment associate director and is a registered financial advisor for the NFL Players Association. She's a woman who is making waves in the world of finance and today we are having a much needed conversation about women's relationships with money and wealth so let's get started. 



In this episode…
Being rich in every part of life Stigmas around women and wealth Wealthy women empowerment Finances with divorce Women vs. men perspectivesLong Term security vs. immediate fun Financial discipline and financial goals 


Quotes:

“It's cool now to ask questions because you realize you're helping yourself and you're helping so many other people.” - Shea Curtin

“I want to be rich in all ways. I want to be rich in the bank account but I also want to be rich in my life experiences. I want to be rich in the relationships I have and I want my wealth and abundance to carry over into all areas of my life.” - Nikki Spo 

“I can't help people who don't want to be helped and I can't be everything for everyone and those were huge lessons that I wish I would have learned long before.” - Shea Curtin 

“You're inheriting your family trauma and emotional and mental behavior but you are also inheriting their financial traumas, and so you've got to be conscious and work really hard and get comfortable being uncomfortable to lean into it” - Shea Curtin

“I trust myself fully to put myself in the best possible scenarios for my life, not for today, but for my life.” - Nikki Spo 

“I think money can give you freedom of choice and I think that having freedom of choice can bring you tremendous joy.” - Nikki Spo



Timestamps: 
0:00 - 1:45 | Intro 
1:45 - 4:50 | Understanding the finances  
4:50 - 8:10 | It’s okay to not know
8:10 - 11:10 | Stigmas around women and wealth 
11:10 - 13:20 | Finances with divorce & relationships 
14:45 - 17:30 | Women vs. men perspectives with finances 
17:30 - 21:38 | Women becoming more interested in finances 
21:38 - 23:30 | Long Term security vs. immediate fun 
23:30 - 27:15 | Financial discipline 
27:15 - 31:00 | Creating an environment where you can trust yourself 
31:00 - 40:50 | Tips for women when speaking to a financial advisor 
40:50 - | Outro





– 
Painless Pregnancy is a group of physical therapists located in South Florida who specialize in helping pregnant and postpartum women prevent dysfunction and heal… in the comfort of their own homes. This concierge service has been a game changer for me after my third childbirth, and I am excited to partner with them and offer our Listeners 10% off their first visit with my code NikkiSpo10. Check out www.painless-pregnancy.com to book your appointment!



Connect with Shea Curtin 
fa.morganstanley.com/shea.curtin
http://linkedin.com/in/shea-curtin



Connect with Nikki 
www.nikkispo.com  
@nikkisappspo /  @theknowwithnikkispo 




Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-know-with-nikki-spo/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Trigger Warning: This week we are discussing a topic that can feel heavy for some. Our guest is Alreen Haeggquist and we are having a conversation around sexual abuse, assault, healing from trauma, and advocating for yourself and others. Alreen is a seasoned lawyer, author, and advocate on a mission to amplify voices and combat silence around abuse. As always, check in with yourself as this topic can be super triggering, so move through this as you need to🤍


In this episode…
Women feeling silenced Secrets Emotional triggers GaslightingShame Women as sexual objects Belief 

Quotes:

“Keeping secrets is like drinking poison. It really poisons us from the inside out.” - Nikki Spo 

“Not staying silent and starting to let out all the trauma is how we can get out of that shameful mindset and stop the generational pattern of keeping it all in.” -Alreen Haeggquist

“I was really angry. Not about what happened to me, but angry that I had to deal with the messed up stuff and thoughts that I had to deal with this and that I have to clean it up.” - Alreen Haeggquist

“I want women to know you could talk about it and it actually is how you're going to get to the next step and live the life that you didn't think you were deserving of or didn't think you could have.” - Alreen Haeggquist

“It is so important to have people in your corner who believe you. I know what it's like to come out and not be believed, and it’s excruciating when you have to try to convince people you've been hurt. It's really such a horrible toxic place to be in.” - Nikki Spo 

“Sharing what happened to you with other people is healing in and of itself.” -  Alreen Haeggquist




Timestamps: 
0:00 - 2:15 | Intro
2:15 - 5:20 | Feeling silenced 
5:20 - 7:20 | Not keeping secrets 
7:20 - 12:15 | Listening to your body  
12:15 - 17:15 | Gaslighting 
17:15 - 23:21 | Silencing as the biggest form of gaslighting 
23:21 - 25:00 | Woman are under attack sexually 
25:00 - 27:35 | Identifying and not identifying as the victim 
27:35 - 29:40 | Helping women from a lawyers perspective 
29:40 - 32:30 | The importance of being believed  
32:30 - 39:55 | Steps to healing 
39:55 - 42:21 | Outro 




–
SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.


– 
When shopping for a new car, Toyota of North Miami has to be at the top of your list. Toyota of North Miami is a Miami based dealership that offers you a superior selection of new Toyota vehicles as well as a large inventory of used vehicles and certified pre owned Toyotas. Right now, you can lease a new Toyota Corolla for just $79 a month and get free car washes for life. Be sure to check out Toyota of North Miami for all of your car purchasing needs.



Connect with Alreen 
https://www.alreen.com/ 



Connect with Nikki 
www.nikkispo.com  
@nikkisappspo /  @theknowwithnikkispo


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-know-with-nikki-spo/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy