Ever wonder what tools and advice psychologists are inspired to use in their own lives? Join Avery, Jamie, and Lucy, three psychologists, and moms, as they discuss what they’ve figured out, what they’ve yet to figure out, and what there’s just no figuring out. Through our stories and pearls of wisdom, we hope we can inspire listeners to connect to themselves and others more mindfully, authentically, and powerfully. It’s sure to be fun, and you may learn a little something along the way!
EP 51: You are not Your Job
In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about work. We briefly discuss the impact of The Great Resignation on the world of work, share some of our early work histories and what moved us into the world of psychology, and what a “work identity” is. We then talk about the drawbacks of shaping one’s entire identity around career and offer self-reflection questions to help determine whether one is “enmeshed” with career, We also share tips on how to disentangle your self-worth from what you do for work.
Do Try This At Home:
Fund your time – give yourself permission to free up time by relying more on othersBe intentional about your time – set boundaries around work so that you can invest in other activities.Revamp how you describe what you do to disentangle what you do from who you are. (e.g., I educate youth vs. I’m a teacher; I help others make changes and find meaning in their lives vs. I’m a psychologist).
Ep 50: Distracted
In today’s episode Lucy shares about her biggest current struggle: feeling distracted. She asks Avery and Jamie for guidance on how she can intervene to find more peace and presence. We explore how distraction shows up, both for Lucy specifically and for many of us more generally. We talk about potential culprits for distraction, as well as dive into some specific strategies to help settle our brains and nervous systems so we can be more present in the moment.
Do Try This at Home:
Read Deep Work by Cal Newport, and start setting aside time for “deep work”Set limits around technology, one of the biggest contributors to our distraction (e.g., only check email at pre-determined times, turn off notifications, have blocks of tech-free time)Look for opportunities to experience “flow”Practice being intentional with your time (especially leisure time)
EP 49: Teen Frienships
One topic that we can’t seem to stop talking about these days is adolescent relationships: with our patients, with our friends who are parents, and at home with our own teens and pre-teens. As a parent, it can be difficult to figure out when to step in, when to step back, and when to step alongside our adolescents as they navigate social dynamics. Recent situations such as the pandemic and the increased reliance on technology for social communication have made connection and interaction even more complicated. In today’s episode, we touch on some strategies that we have found helpful as we make our way through this terrain.
Do Try This at Home:
Check out the book, The Power of Validation by Karyn Hall and Melissa Cook for practical tips and great advice on how to offer your kids validation. Another great resource is How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims which covers strategies to appropriately step back and step alongside children throughout their development.As parents, it is really important to ask ourselves how we can slow it down, take a step back, ask a lot of questions, let go of our own desire to fix, control, and manage the situation, and work towards becoming more of a consultant to our kids in certain areas.
EP 48: Making Friends
In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about friendships! We discuss changing trends in our friendship networks over time, why friendships are important for our physical and mental health, and what to do if we are spread too thin. We also share tips on how to develop new friendships and deepen current ones.
Do Try This at Home:
Do a “friendship inventory” to discover whether you have the bandwidth to take on new friends and to examine whether your current network is healthy and fulfilling. In making new friends, start small. Pay attention to who you interact with on a regular basis and choose one way to connect on a deeper level.To deepen current friendships, authentically compliment your friends. It’s always a good time to tell someone how great they are!
EP 47: What's So
Jamie, Avery, and Lucy are mixing things up for today’s episode! We start with a beautiful reading called What’s So by Werner Erhard. We then offer some journal prompts, and you can pause the podcast to reflect in the moment, or you can hold on to these prompts for later. Finally we discuss our experiences with the nuggets of wisdom from the reading. Feel free to get your journal and a pen ready, so you can take some notes along the way.
What strikes you about the What’s So reading? What interferes with you aligning with What’s so?What are you experiences in getting caught in interpretations? Do you notice any patterns here?
Do Try this at home:
Think of What’s So like an invitation. A perfect time to practice What’s So is when life doesn’t go according to plan…when things don’t work out like you were expecting. Step into the freeing notion that life will just keep bringing more of what’s so – we don’t have to judge or get caught up in the specifics.
EP 46: Swimsuit Season
Avery, Jamie and Lucy get pretty vulnerable in this episode. We each talk about our own experiences with diet culture, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. We review some of our favorite sources of inspiration and information on this topic and talk about a few helpful questions to consider: How much space do thoughts about diet and body size take up in your life? If you were able to clear some of that space, what else would you be thinking about? What do you value? What are your top priorities? At your funeral, what will people remember about you? What do you find beautiful in other people? Bring 5 people to mind that you love and adore – why do you love and adore them?
We also talk about strategies that help us to pull our focus away from our bodies: Writing love notes to yourself about things that are not body-centered (I am strong, I am grateful, I am loving) and paying close attention to who you are following on social media can really make a difference in how you see yourself. Following a variety of individuals with a variety of body types helps us recognize that there really is space for every BODY.
Do try this at home:
Steps to having a swimsuit ready body: Have a body, Put on a swimsuitPut yourself in situations that challenge your notion of who is able to do what. When you see what you are capable of doing, it can help you to see yourself in a broader view. Diet culture is woven into many aspects of our lives and we are often not aware of it. If you haven’t heard the phrases “diet culture” or “anti-diet”, you may want to get a better understanding by looking them up or checking out the resources below. As you start to intentionally notice all the ways that diet culture shows up in your life (advertisements, conversations), you can shift away from it and challenge it. We invite you to be an advocate for change in your own life.
Maintenance Phase https://www.maintenancephase.com/ Food Psych https://christyharrison.com/all-episodes The Body is Not an Apology https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/F**k It Diet https://thefuckitdiet.com/ Beyond the Shadow of a Diet https://judithmatz.com/books/beyond-a-shadow-of-a-diet/
Practical self thinking and improvement
As 3 therapists and moms talk, I feel like I can be a better person after listening to a few episodes. It’s not all kid talk either. We can obviously be a better parent by taking better care of ourselves.