Invincible You with Dr. Alex Avila Dr. Alex Avila

 
 
Does life sometimes get you down?  You try hard to find the answers for a successful, happy, and loving life, but you often come up short. If this sounds like you, then you’re about to receive some powerful solutions for your pressing problems and challenges.  In our latest Love University episode, Dr. Avila answers some of your most crucial questions for ultimate living. Here are some of the important things you will learn:
*How to Handle People Problems
*How to Get Ahead
*How to Truly Relax
*How to Handle Defeat
*How to Find Someone to Love (and Keep the Love Strong)
*How to Live a Joyous Life and Achieve Your Dreams

There is a powerful way to access your greatest talents and achieve your grandest goals. It is called Brahmacharya—the use of sexual and romantic energy for a higher purpose. Our guest on Love University, Melissa Barragan, multimillion dollar real estate producer, applied the principle of Brahmacharya and explained how it led her to a powerful realization of self-love and transformation.  After initiating a lifestyle of romantic abstinence beginning in 2023, she achieved her biggest sale ever--$25 million in one day (Valentine’s Day, 2024)--and helped a loving family find their perfect forever home. Here are some of the highlights from Mellisa’s experience of personal awakening:
*God Is Your Valentine. Although Melissa wondered if she would find romantic love after her Brahmacharya experiment, she realized that her true love was God (Higher Nature). Instead of feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day, she experienced a great feeling of unity and love with her Higher Nature as she spent the day with a lovely family and helped them achieve their real estate dreams.
*Fusing Passion, Love, and Romance.  The happiest and most influential couples in the world like Grant and Elena Cardone (real estate and motivation) have the ideal blend of love qualities.  These Supercouples are able to combine mind, body, and soul to create a tremendous partnership in which they transmute their attraction and love for each other into greatness and contribution for the betterment of society.
*Livmor, Love More.  Melissa coined the phrase #Livmor (Live More) to symbolize the importance of focusing on abundance, joy, and love—every day of your life. We often feel disappointed and frustrated when we try to find happiness in externals: relationships, money, work, or experiences.  The truth is that true happiness is based on inner love and peace. To live more, we need to love more: Ourselves, others, and a Higher Nature. When we do everything with love—spending time with loved ones, eating, exercising, making love, working, giving, helping, and contributing—life becomes an absolute joy.
It’s about you now. Decide that, starting today, you will give your life energy an upward turn.  Instead of wasting your vital life forces on superficial relationships, distractions, and negativity, you will use every ounce of your energy to live more, love more, and be more.  When you do this, you will achieve everything you have ever dreamed of, and your life will be a miracle come true.  

Do you or a loved one have a serious, life-threatening illness? Do you fear contracting a deadly disease in the future and having no hope for your recovery? If so, there is a way for you to rewrite your sickness story into one of triumph and peace. Our inspiring guest on Love University, Elizabeth Benedict, bestselling author and cancer survivor, shared her personal experience (Rewriting Illness) about illness (elizabethbenedict.com). On the show, she enlightened us about the realities of disease, love, and recovery. Here are some of the things we learned:
*Medical Professional’s emotional reactions can influence a patient’s mental and physical state.  In psychology, mood contagion occurs when we pick up the moods of others—whether good or bad. A medical professional’s fears or negative emotions can influence the patient in a negative way. At the same time, positive emotions expressed by medical providers—compassion, optimism, and love—can also be healing forces to help the patient in their recovery.
*There may be a gendered response to illness.  Men tend to be more stoic about illness and not as hyperfocused on their bodies as women often are (which explains why men may detect illness in later stages when it’s too late).
 
*Serious illness is an internal power struggle—choose your own way.  Some people benefit by talking about their illness to loved ones—it helps them release their tension and fear. Others do better by not talking a lot about it and focusing on positive thoughts and activities. Each person has a different internal battle and needs to choose the mental approach that works best for them.
*Fear needs to be balanced.  According to Elizabeth, patients need to strike the right balance between feeling too much fear about an illness and not having enough fear to protect themselves from danger.  Although fear can be a practical and useful ally, too much fear can paralyze a person and take away their joy for living, which prevents them from maintaining the proper recovery mindset.
The truth is that a majority of us will get sick and die one day. Yet, we don’t know the time or the way. Those who trust in a Higher Nature (God, spirit, nature) understand that they will be called from their bodies at the appropriate time. In the meantime, our duty is to live with as much love, joy, and contribution as we possibly can while we’re here on earth. As long as you have your body, rejoice in it, love it, and be grateful for it.

Do you get stressed, afraid, or sad?  Does conflict with others wear you down? If the answer is yes, there is a solution for you.  It is called empathy: caring and giving with intention—both to yourself and others. Our esteemed guest on Love University, Judith Orloff (drjudithorloff.com), empathic psychiatrist and New York Times bestselling author shared light on the “Genius of Empathy” from her new book with the same title. According to Judith, empathy is an important part of emotional intelligence and a powerful healing tool for ourselves and others.  Here’s what we learned from Judith about the amazing gift of empathy:
*You need to start with self-empathy.  You may be hard on yourself, self-critical and attacking yourself about your flaws and mistakes. This is especially the case for sensitive and caring people who often excessively take on the psychological burdens of others and don’t know how to set healthy boundaries. If this sounds like you, it's important to put yourself in your own shoes and be an advocate for your self-worth and value.  Love yourself by putting your hand over your heart and repeating this phrase: “I forgive myself for my past and I open my heart to my future. I am a loving and valuable human being. I can say “No” to others and still be OK. All is well.”
*Practice empathy toward others.  Place yourself in other people’s shoes; feel as they feel during your time with them.  When someone angrily cuts you off on the road, instead of getting angry in return, you can slow down your thought process and see the situation through their eyes. You can consider, “Maybe they’re having a rough day—perhaps they’re feeling sick or just got into a fight with a loved one. There may be a reason for their behavior that I’m not seeing.” When you substitute your irritation and anger for empathy and love, you start to display compassion, and you have a desire to relieve their suffering. Think about how much the angry person suffers from their own reactions—their face gets red, their veins pop. They can’t really help themselves. Now you can forgive them and move on to a higher plane of feeling.
 
*Develop empathy toward the world.  According to Judith, it’s important to understand the “Power of We” instead of “Us Versus Them.”  The truth is that we are all interconnected as human beings. We all share this planet. We all breathe in air, eat, sleep, love, and work. We suffer from the same feelings of regret, sadness, anger, and frustration. We all want to love and be loved, enjoy life in the way we can, and feel meaningful or valuable in some way. By seeing other people as part of a grand human family, we can develop a global sense of empathy. We can send a healing thought or prayer to people in parts of the world who are in horrible conflict or strife.  Also, by practicing the beautiful Tonglen meditation, we can inhale the suffering of others and breathe out compassion and love.  In this way, we can help heal the world as we heal ourselves.
Empathy is on a continuum. Some people are very empathetic, others moderately so, and some (sociopaths, narcissists) have little, if any, empathy. The good news is that a majority of people can increase their empathy toward themselves and others.  By doing so, you will quiet the unkind voices in your head (self-critical thoughts), and you will befriend yourself and others.  You will also establish good boundaries so you are not overwhelmed by the negativity of others. And, most importantly of all, you will extend loving energy without expectation and shine your light of love to all who may receive it. Empathy is truly a genius, and the genius is in you.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. JOIN AVILA AND LOVE UNIVERSITY FOR A LIVE PODCAST AND BOOK SIGNING AT THE LA TIMES BOOK FESTIVAL: SATURDAY APRIL 20TH 12 TO 5PM AT USC CAMPUS, BOOTH 145.  WE'LL HAVE A BLAST, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND LEARN VALUABLE KNOWLEDGE. 

Are you an intuitive and sensitive (feeling) person? Perhaps you’re someone who loves psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and finding the meaning of life. If that’s the case, then you may be an Idealistic Philosopher, the rare personality type (about 4%) who believes that “love is the perfect place: quiet, peaceful, and kind.” On Love University, Dr. Avila began a new series on the 16 LoveTypes (Myers-Briggs romantic styles) based on his classic bestseller LoveTypes. In this segment, Dr. Avila reveals the qualities of the Idealistic Philosopher personality and how they can find and keep love. Idealistic Philosophers (INFP on the Myers-Briggs) have these characteristics:
Internal (Introvert) Energy, represented by the letter I.  They primarily get energy from their own thoughts, as opposed to socializing with other people. Although they can be quite talkative and sociable at times, they can get tired talking too much and may need to retreat to a private and quiet place to recharge their batteries.
Intuitive/Imaginative, represented by the letter N.   Idealistic Philosophers view the world through their imagination and their vision of what is possible. They may not be as practical as the other LoveTypes, but they believe they can eventually bring their dreams into reality. They also believe they have a special mission to fulfill in life, and this vision will keep driving their quest for love and meaning.
Feeling/Sensitive, represented by the letter F.   Idealistic Philosophers make decisions primarily with their heart (feelings). If they need to say something to someone and it may hurt their feelings, they may not say it because they want to maintain harmony in the relationship. As feelers, single Idealistic Philosophers are also “hopeful romantics”—they’re always thinking the next person they meet could be their soulmate.
Spontaneous (or Perceiver on the Myers-Briggs), represented by the letter P.  Idealistic Philosophers tend to be playful, fun, and spontaneous. By other people’s standards, especially the more structured types, they may be disorganized and unstructured. However, Idealistic Philosophers don’t see it that way. They would say they are organized in their own way, and they value people and experiences over strict structure.  Their motto is: You only live once, enjoy it.
Therefore, by combining the four letters above, the Idealistic Philosopher is known as the INFP.
Overall, the Idealistic Philosopher (INFP) can be a warmly appreciative and supportive romantic partner.  In terms of challenges, if you’re an INFP, you tend to be hard on yourself (self-critical) so you need to practice self-love and self-forgiveness.  Here’s the good news: If you can love and appreciate yourself as an Idealistic Philosopher, you can attract a like-minded mate who shares your passion for finding a meaning in life. A good match for you is an Idealistic Philosopher or the more structured Mystic Writer (INFJ on the Myers-Briggs).  Regardless of your disappointments in the romantic world, as an INFP you can discover your compatible love partner. When you meet that ideal soul mate, your joy will have no bounds, and you will create a harmonious relationship that lasts a lifetime.  
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. JOIN AVILA AND LOVE UNIVERSITY FOR A LIVE PODCAST AND BOOKSIGNING AT THE LA TIMES BOOK FESTIVAL: SATURDAY APRIL 20TH 12 TO 5PM AT USC CAMPUS, BOOTH 145.  WE'LL HAVE A BLAST, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND LEARN VALAUBLE KNOWLEDGE.