49 episodes

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Real, genuine, vulnerable, and honest talk. There are no quick fixes from trauma, abuse, addiction, PSTD, or anxiety. Knowing what happened to you is only part of the process, we have to relive the feelings, emotions, and scenes we avoid. When we stop blaming, making excuses, and take responsibility for our own emotions, that’s the start of moving from victim to surviving, from surviving to survivor, and finally to thriving and teaching.

It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan Joe Ryan

    • Education
    • 4.9 • 184 Ratings

Listen on Apple Podcasts
Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher

For access to all episodes and bonus content subscribe at https://joeryan.com/subscribe
Real, genuine, vulnerable, and honest talk. There are no quick fixes from trauma, abuse, addiction, PSTD, or anxiety. Knowing what happened to you is only part of the process, we have to relive the feelings, emotions, and scenes we avoid. When we stop blaming, making excuses, and take responsibility for our own emotions, that’s the start of moving from victim to surviving, from surviving to survivor, and finally to thriving and teaching.

Listen on Apple Podcasts
Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher

    EP 0049 - Leaving Home Emotionally

    EP 0049 - Leaving Home Emotionally

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    Most of us never left home emotionally; we have stayed loyal to our family system by staying in our false self role, by abandoning our authentic self. We were molded into the role by being conditioned through shaming, anger, and fear. We learned how to adapt, conform and compromise our needs for the needs of the system. 



    To become our authentic self, we need to dismantle our false self role and leave home emotionally. We move away from feeding the family system and start feeding our soul as we move through the guilt and shame that has kept us emotionally hostage for so long.



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    • 23 min
    EP 0048 - The Inner Child

    EP 0048 - The Inner Child

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    The inner child gets stuck emotionally at the age that the abuse happened. We internalized the abuse and have carried it as our responsibility, and we have shamed ourselves for it ever since. We have mirrored our experience as not being valued, loved, or worthy of being cared for and carried it as our self perception.


    Joe discusses how Healing the inner child is first understanding that an emotional child lives within us. We then reparent this child to give them what they need to grow, develop and evolve into an empowered adult. What this child needed was safety through love, care, attention, and nurturing. As your inner child starts to feel safer within you and the two of you learn to trust each other, we then begin to discipline the inner child. We set limits and healthy boundaries as we guide this child through its fears towards internal freedom.


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    • 20 min
    EP 0047 - Work Through the False Self (S)

    EP 0047 - Work Through the False Self (S)

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    Dismantling the false self is done through action, not thought. We don't think our way out of the fear of being seen. We take action and fight through the false self by allowing ourselves to be visible as we show up for ourself
    Joe discusses how the false self shows up in relationships and tries to get its needs met through others, how our family systems keeps us trapped in our role. What we can do to slowly dismantle the false self as we discover who we are through action.
    Also In This Episode:
    - Coming out of hiding
    - Wounds and relationships
    - Carrying your family system
    - Building a relationship with yourself
    - Feeling safe from the inside out
    - Work through the false self

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    EP 0046 - Shame Based Addict

    EP 0046 - Shame Based Addict

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    In this episode, Joe talks about the self-conscious, shame-based feelings that he constantly faces and how he has learned to deal with them without mood altering. This episode delves deep into the protective actions one takes to hide feelings of shame and paralyzing yourself from life’s most simple activities!

    Topics in this Episode:

    -Starting with his first drink at 10, followed closely with prescription drugs and eventual heavy drug use later in life, Joe discussed the mind-altering use to mask the feelings of shame and the ultimate exhilarating “freedom” that followed

    -Building the Wall of Hiding from Yourself and Everyone Else

    -Looking into the Mirror and Seeing an Emotional Child, Not an Adult Ready to Live in This World

    -Dealing with “Going Outside Your Comfort Zone”

    -Learning to Adjust to New Surroundings and Protecting Yourself by Withdrawing from Daily Life Activities

    -Self-Sabotage

    -Seeing below the False Self…

    -Cutting Off from Your True Self and Realizing “Shame Rolls Down Hill”

    -Leaving Situations or Family Gatherings where Shaming is Continual

    -Heal the Shame by Coming Out of Hiding

    Shame is Exhausting, Depressing and a Dull Ache You Can’t Pinpoint



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    • 30 min
    EP 0045 - What's Your Secret

    EP 0045 - What's Your Secret

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    What is below all those layers you have built up? What are you hiding down there? What is your secret? 

    Uncovering your secret is an emotional process that can't be forced, it requires patience. There are things in our path that only time can move. 

    While we wait for the next layer to reveal itself, we allow ourselves time and a safe space to grieve the previous layer and feed our soul as part of the healing process. 



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    • 21 min
    EP 0044 - Shame; Trauma's Protector

    EP 0044 - Shame; Trauma's Protector

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    How do we recover from our traumatic experiences? When does the feeling of shame enter into the equation? What is the "pain of shame," and how should we deal with it?

    In this episode, learn how to deal with these emotional pains...and the dull ache that resides with it every day of your life! Learn to resolve trauma, not just store it away! Joe covers the effects of feeling "shamed" and not resolving the traumatic events that have led you to this point, as well as the difficulty in taking the steps necessary to face what put you in this place, to begin with. Learn how to overcome all of this to move forward and leave the shame and abuse you feel and have experienced behind!

     - Website: https://joeryan.com 

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    • 19 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
184 Ratings

184 Ratings

Ursapax ,

A Gift

I stumbled across this podcast during a particularly difficult time of managing my emotions from a recent difficulty. Years of harming others with my words and actions due to my childhood trauma and resulting PTSD, have harmed many of my relationships an impeded upon my growth and maturity. Years of therapy have not helped me as much as this podcast. I encourage you to give this podcast a listen and promise it will enhance your life. Joe is authentic. He is compassionate and caring. I am so encouraged that I found him and will carry him in my pocket from now on. An invaluable resource.

lmsb26 ,

Beyond relatable

His words are ALL the daily thoughts

nayre42 ,

The real deal

Joe doesn’t hold back and tells it like he feels it! I’ve learned tons from him and truly from the depths of my heart am grateful for his bravery and kindness. If you want coaching you won’t regret it. I am forever blessed by you Joe.

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