Louder Than Silence EndCAN

Kevin Peterson is an expert in the correlation of substance abuse and child abuse.  In this podcast, Kevin talks about the steps and shares, "The 12th step is 'carry the message'!"

His childhood was overshadowed by his mom's hidden prescription drug abuse, and they, as children, were taught to lie to cover for her. 

By the age of 13, he himself was drinking and using drugs, and he liked it.  At the age of 26, his father told him they loved him but were done.  His parents were making a change, and that meant, he was out.

On May 5, 1991, he got sober and has been ever since.  In 2007, he had a midlife crisis, got out of sales and decided he wanted to change the world.

He graduated college in 2011 and started his own practice where he works with families who are struggling with addiction.  And that, involves kids - direct and overtly or indirect and covertly.

In his work, he helps people once they are sober and need to deal with the "stuff".

Takeaways from this podcast:
It is not our job to be perfect; it is our job to own our imperfections and model healing, growth and a willingness to improve.Showing children how to take responsibility for your behavior and actions, how to take care of yourself and how to acknowledge when you’ve made a mistake.Being perfect is a waste of time; they’re watching you.  If they’re watching you get high all day, they’re going to get high all day.Starts with consistency, level of expectation how to treat each other.  Everyone has a voice.  Kids need a witness, they need someone there.Your kid really just wants to hang out with you.Kevin has authored the book, "Chronic Hope: Families and Addiction"

Resources: www.chronichope.us

In this episode, Lori Poland is joined by Alli Meyerhardt, the founder and executive director of Breaking Silence, a national organization designed to give a voice to survivors of abuse. As a survivor herself, Alli knew that the story many had to share would pave the way to ending sexual assault and domestic violence. She followed this vision and began a nonprofit that focuses on teaching people about the consequences of sexual assault, ways in which they can prevent it, and the realities of consent.  

The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org 

Takeaways: 

We need to believe in the power of people’s stories and to teach people to accept those stories and create safe spaces. 

Stories need to be felt with love and kindness rather than saying, “we don’t talk about it.” 

“I believe you, I hear you, I am so sorry that happened to you,” should be the response to anyone who shares their story. 
 
Everyone needs to humanize people’s stories and learn to feel it. 

The goal of Breaking Silence and the work they do is to create a world full of advocates. 

The definition of "safe" is different for every person.  We need to be protectors of all. 

It is not easy to get someone curious when they don’t want to talk about “it.” 

It is not always your responsibility to change someone else’s mind, but compassionate listening is necessary. 

If you are open to hearing, then go and listen.  Become a learner.  There is someone in your life who has been impacted by violence. 

 
Quote of the Show: 

“A universal truth is we all feel pain. We are all human.” 

 
Links: 
Breaking Silence - www.breakingsilence.org 

In this episode, Lori Poland is once again joined by fellow survivor, Jon Vaughn.  To change things up, Jon interviews Lori about her experiences as a survivor. 

The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org  

Episode Takeaways: 
What made Lori write her book?  “When we are survivors, there is a developmental process, and my sentences became paragraphs, and then a book.  It is one of the faces of survivorship – we start as a victim, then move out of that phase and transition into survivorship and then into being a thriver and then when you’re through finding ‘your own’, you transition to transcender.” The title is, “I Live Here” which details her life story, starting with her kidnapping at the age of 3. When she was found by rescuers at the bottom of an outhouse toilet, she told them, "I live here."Children do not know what normal is, so what they are experiencing may seem normal to them without realizing it is abuse.    The narrative of her story was only what she had been told by family, and it was their story, not her's.  Every time she was interviewed publicly, they accused her making parts of the story up and the more this happened, the more she did research and saw details that she was not aware of.  Their narrative and her experience were not the same. The history of books is “his” story in everyone’s own perspective.  And, you have to own your perspective and truth and defend it. It’s okay to not have a family in the way most people envision.  You’re going to have family that will never leave because they are touched by your story. Always take time for yourself; wounds don’t heal in a day. We have to be able to say no, to society, to parents, to abusers, to anyone trying to hurt you.  
Quotes of the Show: 
"Transcenders are people who turn around and give it back. ""Don’t be concerned about people talking, be concerned when they aren’t."
Links: 
Lori's book, "I Live Here" - https://endcan.org/2022/07/11/lori-poland-memoir/

In this episode, Lori Poland is joined by Stephanie Knapp, a supervisory child and adolescent forensic interviewer for the FBI's child victim services unit.

The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org 

Episode Time Markers

1:00 - Lori introduces Stephanie Knapp and shares their connection 
4:22 - Here we are! 
4:50 - Stephanie shares her background and what she does in the world 
7:43 - Today’s topic introduction: sex trafficking 
8:16 - The “layperson’s” description of sex trafficking 
9:20 - What trafficking really is 
10:26 - Language and why it matters 
12:20 - Our most vulnerable population 
12:50 - Who is impacted by trafficking? 
15:00 - What are the traffickers doing to victimize our kids? 
15:40 - How do we identify the risks and what do we need to know about the traffickers? 
16:55 - What the most important thing to recognize about trafficking 
17:50 - We need to acknowledge trafficking is happening and how can individuals make a difference 
18:13 - Most important way to help prevent, acknowledge, and identify abuse 
20:43 - What do you do as a teen when you have concerns? 
22:00 - Helping kids prepare for if “they get that feeling” 
23:34 - Who do I call, where do I go, what are my resources if I “know” something 
26:25 - How big of a problem is trafficking actually? 
28:40 - Easiest, best way to protect the children 
29:30 - The power in one 

Resources: 

National Human Trafficking Hotline: https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en 

Local FBI Field Offices: https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices 

In this episode, Lori Poland is joined by Dr. Desmond Runyan.  Dr. Runyan is a member of the Board for EndCAN and has researched child abuse for over 30 years while maintaining a clinical practice evaluating possible child abuse victims and serving as a general pediatrician. He has published over 170 articles, book chapters and books. His research has addressed the identification and consequences of child abuse and neglect in the United States and in other countries.    
The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org

Episode Time Markers 
1:12 - Lori introduces Des 
2:03 - Des shares his story 
3:33 - The focus of this podcast episode 
4:45 - What exactly is child neglect ? 
6:02 - Definition of neglect 
8:02 - The potential for harm 
9:38 - The complexities of neglect 
12:09 - Injury by neglect reporting 
13:08 - Standard protocols by hospitals 
15:08 - Surveys and reporting 
16:08 - International reporting 
17:30 - Stigma of the added shame and guilt of the system 
19:40 - SafeCare  
22:14 - Nurse vs. social services approach 
24:13 - The correlation of shame and guilt 
26:08 - Teen parents and neglect 
27:30 - What can someone who observes neglect do? 
28:59 - What can someone do that does not involve social services? 
29:55 - How can people help themselves 
32:29 - Advice for parents no matter where they live 
33:37 - Wrap up 

Resources
SafeCare Colorado: https://cdec.colorado.gov/safecare-colorado
The Kempe Foundation: https://kempe.org/
Tennyson Center for Children: https://www.tennysoncenter.org/  

Lori Poland is once again joined by fellow survivor Jon Vaughn. In this installment, Vaughn discusses the sexual abuse he experienced while playing football at the University of Michigan.    
The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN). 

 Episode Time Markers
1:02- Lori introduces Jon Vaughn 
2:01- “That doesn’t happen in my neighborhood” 
2:38- Jon shares his story 
4:13- Rite of passage to college destroyed 
5:30- 40-year reign of terror 
6:45- The range of emotions felt 
8:40- The beginning of the memories 
11:50- Looking back and thinking the screenings were “normal” 
13:41 - The realization of “wait, this isn’t normal”? 
15:51- Jon shares his childhood memories and how college was his exit strategy 
17:45- Being part of the team, the program, etc., you are part of something that is bigger than you 
19:00- Children are born to trust 
22:00 - Stopped contacting victims . . . it was just too numerous to find out the number of victims 
23:00 - What Jon is discovering as a 50-year-old 
23:55 - Why Jon is sharing his story 
24:24 - A lesson for our listeners 
25:30 - The lighthouse in the storm