P.S. We Expire with Morgan Motsinger

Morgan Motsinger
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  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
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The title says it all: we expire. And yet most of us live like we have infinite time to become who we want to be, to have the conversations that matter, to stop shrinking ourselves. I'm Morgan. I'm a mother, entrepreneur, and someone who is doing the messy work of rebuilding after loss. On this podcast, I talk with people about the things we usually avoid: death, grief, caregiving, self-trust, and the courage it takes to live deliberately instead of on autopilot. These aren't conversations about becoming perfect. They're about becoming real.

  1. 4D AGO

    Ep98: Stop calling it nagging (and what to call it instead) with Laura Danger

    If you've ever been called a nag — or swallowed what you really needed because you were afraid of being called one — this episode is for you. Laura Danger is the educator and domestic equity expert behind @thatdarnchat, the account that brought terms like "weaponized incompetence" and "the nag paradox" into everyday conversation. She's also the author of No More Mediocre and co-host of the Time to Lean podcast. And she is exactly as warm, sharp, and no-nonsense as you'd hope. We started where a lot of us are right now: in the thick of May-sember — that chaos spiral of spring schedules, summer childcare math, Spirit Week emails on Sunday night, and the dawning realization that someone has to figure all of this out. (Spoiler: you know who.) From there, we got into it: Weaponized incompetence — what it actually is. It's not just "men doing a bad job." It's a pattern. And the defining factor isn't the quality of the work — it's the accountability (or lack thereof) that follows. Laura breaks down what separates weaponized incompetence from plain old incompetence, ADHD, or just different standards. The nag paradox. One person manages everything. The other takes direction. And somehow, the person managing everything ends up as the villain of the story. Laura explains how this dynamic starts, why it snowballs, and why "just make me a list" is not the solution you think it is. Domestic equity vs. equality. 50/50 is a setup to fail. What actually works is negotiation, flexibility, and both people being invested in the collective — not scorekeeping. Why we don't say what we really need. And what happens when we finally do. Laura shares the internal shift that changed everything in her own relationship — and it's not what you'd expect. The Gottman Four Horsemen. Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling. How they show up in the mental load dynamic and what to do when you're already in it. What "emotional labor" actually means. Hint: it's not the same as the mental load. Laura points us to Rose Hackman's book Emotional Labor for the clearest definition she's found — and it's going to reframe some things for you. What makes her hopeful. Even in the sh*tstorm of 2026. (Her answer involves a neighborhood gardening club. I'm not kidding. It's perfect.) Books mentioned: No More Mediocre by Laura Danger Fair Play by Eve Rodsky Emotional Labor by Rose Hackman Drained by Leah Rubiner Honest Motherhood by Libby Ward Me, Myself, And Us by Brain Little Find Laura: Instagram: @thatdarnchat No More Mediocre — available wherever books are sold Time to Lean podcast

    1h 19m

  2. APR 25

    Ep97: You're not failing, you're unsupported with Madeline Cheney (The Rare Life)

    There's a difference between a hard life and an unsupported one. This episode is about that difference. Madeline Cheney is the founder of The Rare Life — a nonprofit podcast and online community for parents of medically complex kids — and she is exactly the kind of person you want in your corner when the weight of it all starts to feel like a personal failing. Spoiler: it's not. It's a systems problem. And she's got receipts. We started, somehow, with yard work. And weeds. And the sneaky way that the things we keep avoiding cost us way more energy than actually doing them — a truth that hits different when you're a parent whose to-do list includes therapy schedules, IEP meetings, feeding protocols, and approximately ten thousand things the professionals think you should be doing right now. From there we got into the real stuff: The mental load that never clocks out. Even when you're sleeping. Even when you're at work. Even when someone else is technically watching your child. The hypervigilance is always running in the background — and it takes a toll on your body in ways that science is only beginning to catch up to. Grief that doesn't look like grief. It's universal among parents in this community, and it doesn't mean you love your child any less. In fact, it usually means the opposite. Madeline talks about why naming it — without the shame — is the fastest path through it. Why partners process so differently. And why the parent doing the daily caregiving almost always gets to acceptance first. (Hint: you can't ignore reality when it's in your face every single day.) The foster care system plot twist. Madeline is in the middle of becoming a licensed foster family, and what she discovered about the support infrastructure built into that system — the mentor families, the care teams, the respite care, the training — will make you simultaneously inspired and furious on behalf of every disability parent who never got any of that. Acceptance isn't what you think it is. It's not peace. It's not "I wouldn't change a thing." It's just — this is my life, and I'm not fighting that anymore. That's it. That's enough. And we talked about meaning-making. Not the toxic positivity version where everything happens for a reason. The real version, where you go through something hard and you become someone different on the other side — and that matters, even if nobody ever sees it. Madeline is the founder of The Rare Life, a nonprofit online community and podcast for parents of medically complex individuals. She started The Rare Life in 2020 when her medically complex son Kimball was 2, inspired by the isolation she had experienced to that point. Madeline lives in SLC with her husband Juston, 10 year old daughter Wendy and now 7 year old son Kimball. She enjoys vegging out to old murder mystery tv shows, her current favorite being Murder She Wrote, and connecting with loved ones outside. Find Madeline online: https://therarelife.org/ https://www.instagram.com/the_rare_life

    1h 11m

  3. MAR 28

    Ep96: Religion is not a dirty word with Liz Bucar

    I've been thinking a lot about religion lately — not in the way I was taught to as a kid, where there was one truth and you either had it or you didn't. More like... what if religion is actually one of the most human things we do? What if it's been a resource hiding in plain sight, and we've been too burned, too skeptical, or too cool to look at it clearly? That's exactly what I got to dig into with my guest, Liz Bucar — professor, prize-winning author, and one of the most genuinely interesting people I've talked to about this stuff. Liz has spent her career studying how religion actually works in real human lives, and she does it without the dogma or the defensiveness. She's not trying to convert you. She's trying to help you see clearly. We covered a lot of ground. We talked about what religion even is — and why that question is harder (and more interesting) than it sounds. We talked about religious literacy, and why not understanding the traditions around us leaves us less equipped to navigate the world. We talked about storytelling as one of the most powerful tools religion has ever had, and how the best stories are the ones that hold complexity without collapsing it into a tidy moral. And then we zoomed out. We talked about what's happening right now — this urgent, liminal, kind of terrifying moment in society — and why religion, for all its baggage, might actually be one of our best tools for collective change. Not because it has all the answers, but because it's been practicing community, ritual, and meaning-making longer than any other institution we have. Here's what I keep coming back to: individualism is exhausting. The antidote — the actual, research-backed, spiritually-ancient antidote — is community. Belonging to something bigger than yourself. Religion, whatever form that takes for you, has always known that. This one is worth a slow listen. Where you can find Liz: https://www.lizbucar.com/ Preorder Liz's new book Beyond Wellness: https://www.lizbucar.com/books Follow Liz on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizbucar Liz's substack: https://lizbucar.substack.com/ Where you can find Morgan: https://www.morganmotsinger.com/ Follow Morgan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morgan_motsinger/ Morgan's substack: https://morganmotsinger.substack.com/ LIZ BUCAR is a religious ethicist and professor of religion at Northeastern University, as well as a certified intenSati and Kripalu yoga instructor. Her popular writing has appeared in The Atlantic, the Los Angeles Times, Teen Vogue, and The Wall Street Journal, and she is the author of four books, including the award-winning Stealing My Religion and Pious Fashion. She lives in Brookline, Massachusetts.

    1h 22m

  4. MAR 17

    Ep95: Keeping our kids from swallowing the Red Pill with Dr. Brendan K. Hartman

    In this episode, Morgan converses with Dr. Brendan K. Hartman about the complex layers of masculinity, emotional regulation, and the societal messages shaping boys and men today. This discussion offers practical insights into emotional awareness, gender norms, and community involvement to foster healthier identities and relationships. Key Topics: The importance of talking openly with children about online risks and emotional challenges.The intersection of masculinity, femininity, biology, and social construction.The influence of media, ideology (red pill, black pill), and external narratives on boys' perceptions of themselves.Strategies for creating safe spaces for boys to express vulnerability and curiosity.The influence of community, family, and mentorship in shaping healthy masculinity.The significance of the window of tolerance, co-regulation, and emotional self-awareness.Reframing masculinity beyond dominance and control—toward connection and aliveness.Practical approaches for parents, educators, and mentors to support emotional resilience and authentic identity.engagement Bio: Dr. Brendan K. Hartman is a sociologist and consultant specializing in the social-emotional development and wellbeing of boys and men—and how this connects to the wellbeing of all genders. He works with schools, organizations, and families across North America, equipping educators, parents, and leaders to more effectively support boys and young men and navigate gender-related challenges with confidence and care. Brendan holds a Ph.D. in Education from the University of Edinburgh and is a visiting scholar at the University of the Fraser Valley. Resources & Links: Morgan's Resource VaultDr. Brendan Hartman's work – connecting gender, wellness, and community Connect with Dr. Brendan Hartman: InstagramTikTokLinkedIn

    1h 27m

  5. JAN 26

    Ep94: Allison teaches us "The Work" of Byron Katie and I'm the guinea pig

    It's getting real up in here. Allison Evans is BACK, and this time, she's teaching us one of my favorite tools: "The Work" of Byron Katie. Allison is a life coach (and one of Martha Beck's Wayfinder coaches, nbd) who works primarily with women looking to reclaim their lives and be the heroines of their own journeys. She teaches us how The Work works, and I get to be the fortunate example in this lesson. One of the reasons I love the work is because it is very intuitive. I can easily get myself into thinking knots, so any tools that help me get into my body and really feel into patterns of thinking and behaving is extremely helpful. Allison is a Certified Wayfinder Master Coach with an MA in English literature from George Mason University and undergraduate degrees in English and French from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Her work has been featured in elephant journal, Thrive Global, and Pathways magazine. She lives in Omaha with the people who inspire her work: her husband, daughter, and son. Links from the episode: Allison's website https://allisonevanscoaching.com/ Website for The Work https://thework.com/ Documentary "The Divided Brain" https://thedividedbrain.com/ Dr. Iain McGilchrist interview on the podcast "Know Thyself" https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com/podcast/dr-iain-mcgilchrist You can find Morgan on her website https://www.morganmotsinger.com/ Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Mindfulness-Based Tools12:46 Understanding the Four Questions of The Work36:19 Exploring Turnarounds and Self-Approval54:12 The Power of Visualization and Slowing Down01:05:38 The Work as a Meditation01:19:19 The Neurological Basis of Change01:30:26 Forensic Examination of Suffering

    1h 25m

  6. 12/09/2025

    Ep93: I'm Good at Being Good - And It's Killing Me with Jen Zorb

    This conversation with Jen Zorb was one of those episodes where I kept thinking "YES, THIS" over and over again. Jen is a therapist with 15+ years of experience, and she created The Pearl Project (I cannot wait to tell you about it).  But first, we dove into something that I think so many of us struggle with: Are we actually living our lives on purpose, or are we just responding to everything that gets thrown at us? When was the last time you actually sat down and thought about what you value most and then had the courage to orient your whole life around that? Jen created The Pearl Project: mental health kits because she kept wishing she could send clients home with something tangible. The work people were doing in therapy was so powerful, but then they'd leave and have to wait another week or two for their next session. Each kit includes: A metaphor or storyScience-based therapeutic contentA tangible object you can touch and holdQuestion decks for reflectionThe whole approach is multisensory because neuroscience shows us we integrate things better when we can touch, smell, see—not just think about them cognitively. Some other great things we dug into together: 💛 How to choose a therapist Real talk: Not every therapist is going to be a good fit, even if they're great at what they do. And it's OKAY to break up with your therapist. You heard it here—Jen said it! 💛 What actually is a trigger? We talked about how "trigger" has become this catch-all word for "this person annoyed me." But in a therapeutic context, a trigger is an event or sensation that activates a specific nervous system response—usually tied to an old hurt or injury. 💛 What to do when you're triggered This is where it gets practical. Jen shares 4 things you can do in the moment when you're activated (and the last one is huge).  💛 The corrective emotional experience This is when you try something new—like speaking up or setting a boundary—and you get positive reinforcement. It starts rewiring your brain. More about Jen and The Pearl Project Jen is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 15 years of clinical experience. She has helped individuals, couples, and families in a private practice setting and has also worked in a hospital setting, treating the most acute mental and behavioral health challenges. She is passionate about making high-quality, professional mental health support more accessible to the everyday person. The Pearl Project was born out of that passion in 2022! Jen loves a good iced latte and has a competitive streak that mostly comes out on the tennis and pickleball courts. She dreams of travel and the day that all of her kids put their shoes on without having to be asked. Website: www.thepearlproject.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jointhepearlproject Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jointhepearlproject   Find Morgan at: https://www.instagram.com/morgan_motsinger/ https://www.morganmotsinger.com/ hello@morganmotsinger.com

    59 min

  7. 11/12/2025

    Ep92: Alzheimer's prevention and healthy living (that only sucks a little bit) with Rachel Daugherty

    Check out my free resource vault at https://www.morganmotsinger.com/vault   Life can get pretty hairy, pretty quickly. When Rachel's mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and she was thrust into a caregiving role, something major shifted. She started to think about her own health, and not just from an aesthetic perspective, but from a neuroprotective standpoint. She dug deep into the research about Alzheimer's prevention, brain health, and microhabits that have long-term positive results.    Rachel was an absolute delight to talk to, and her online presence has grown tremendously because of her approachable demeanor, humor, smarts, and heartwarming vulnerability.    More about Rachel:   Rachel Daugherty is the daughter of a woman with Alzheimer’s and knows firsthand the grief, fear, and heartbreak of watching someone you love lose themselves. Her mission is to show people they are not doomed to repeat their family’s story. Through evidence-based tools and the practice of self-connection, Rachel teaches how to change habits from the inside out — seeing each choice as more than an act toward brain health, but also an act of self-love. By helping people reframe their relationship with food, fitness, and health, she empowers them to build self-trust and lasting strength that protects both body and brain. Rachel shows others how to shape their future selves while becoming the strongest, most alive version of themselves now — and she wants to show you how.   You can find Rachel and her amazing work at: Website www.bootyandbrains.co Instagram @bootyandbrains.co   You can find Morgan: Website https://www.morganmotsinger.com/ Instagram @morgan_motsinger

    1h 10m

  8. 10/18/2025

    Ep91: A one-way flight to India that impacted her view of dying with Elizabeth

    What are the gaps in grief care in our culture? What types of supports need to be in place that we have outsourced to healthcare that need to be reestablished in community? This beautiful conversation with Elizabeth explores paths of grief, companionship in the face of death, the social nature of dying, and the importance of everyday acts in caregiving.  I hope this conversation impacts your perspectives on the need for humility and presence in these challenging moments as we reframe illness as a communal journey rather than a solitary medical event. Grief is not a problem to be solved, but an experience to feel and be transformed by.  About my guest:   Elizabeth Johnson is the co-founder and Executive Director of The Peaceful Presence Project, a community-based organization in Oregon dedicated to fostering compassionate end-of-life care. Holding a Master’s degree in Community and Urban Planning, Elizabeth has traveled extensively as an educator and facilitator, cultivating a deep interest in the cultural and social frameworks that shape human experiences of illness, grief, and death. She serves on the leadership council of Public Health Palliative Care International. Additionally, Elizabeth is a graduate and current faculty member of the Anamcara Project, where her work focuses on grief, loss, and resilience. Elizabeth is deeply committed to advancing death and grief literacy within local communities, promoting honest and transformative dialogue around the complexities of dying and bereavement.   Contact Elizabeth:   elizabeth@thepeacefulpresenceproject.org https://thepeacefulpresenceproject.org/   https://www.instagram.com/peacefulpresencedoulas/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/peaceful-presence-project/ https://www.facebook.com/peacefulpresencedoulas   Contact Morgan: If you're interested in being a guest, visit my website at https://www.morganmotsinger.com/contact and fill out the contact form. You can find me at: https://www.instagram.com/morgan_motsinger/ https://www.youtube.com/@morganmotsinger https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-motsinger/ hello@morganmotsinger.com

    59 min
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About

The title says it all: we expire. And yet most of us live like we have infinite time to become who we want to be, to have the conversations that matter, to stop shrinking ourselves. I'm Morgan. I'm a mother, entrepreneur, and someone who is doing the messy work of rebuilding after loss. On this podcast, I talk with people about the things we usually avoid: death, grief, caregiving, self-trust, and the courage it takes to live deliberately instead of on autopilot. These aren't conversations about becoming perfect. They're about becoming real.

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