165 episodes

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Pillow Talks Vanessa & Xander Marin

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.9 • 2K Ratings

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

    How To Actually Be Vulnerable With Your Partner

    How To Actually Be Vulnerable With Your Partner

    Did you know that only 24% of people said they’re happy with the level of vulnerability in their relationship?
    We asked our community why they struggle to be vulnerable, and heard things like:

    -I didn’t grow up being vulnerable, so I don’t know how to do it
    -We’ve been together for so long without being vulnerable; it would feel weird to try to start now
    -What’s the point of vulnerability?

    Our hot take is that without vulnerability, you don’t have a real relationship. So in this episode, we’re breaking down your barriers and helping you and your partner get more vulnerable!

    Links & Resources:
    Simple Daily Check-In

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

    • 52 min
    Why You Need To Flirt In Your Relationship And How To Do It

    Why You Need To Flirt In Your Relationship And How To Do It

    Your partner wants you to flirt with them more!

    But the majority of us feel like we don’t know HOW to flirt. It feels awkward or cheesy... Or we don’t know what our partner will actually like.

    Get your notebooks out because today we’re going to teach you how to flirt with your partner! We’ll cover why flirting is so important in long-term relationships, how to get over your resistance to it, and dozens of specific examples of how to flirt.

    Pro-tip: this is a fantastic episode to listen to with your partner!

    Links & Resources:
    Art Of Initiation
    Dirty Talk 101

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

    • 51 min
    Should We Have A Threesome?

    Should We Have A Threesome?

    Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies, but most of us feel completely clueless about how to actually make them happen! In today’s episode, we walk you through how to have your first one, and share some hot, hilarious, awkward, and horrible stories about other peoples’ threesomes.

    If you’ve ever wanted to have a threesome or just want to hear about others’ experiences, you’re in for a treat!

    Links & Resources:
    Courses & Guides

    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

    • 55 min
    “Is This Normal?” Part 3 — More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud

    “Is This Normal?” Part 3 — More Questions You Never Dared To Ask Out Loud

    Get ready for the highly anticipated third act to one of our most popular episodes yet - Is This Normal?
    You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it normal that my husband isn’t instantly turned on when he sees me naked? Is it normal to never have masturbated? Is it normal to get the ick from my husband whom I truly love? And so much more!
    Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod your head in recognition as we address your questions head-on!
    Links & Resources:
    Next Level Intercourse
    If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!
    Thanks HelloFresh. Go to hellofresh.com/pillowapps for FREE appetizers for life!
    Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor.
    Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.

    • 55 min
    We’re In Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!

    We’re In Couples Therapy - Ask Us Anything!

    Today we’re getting ULTRA personal, and answering all your questions about our recent experience in couples therapy.
    Do we think therapy sometimes digs up stuff that wasn’t a problem? Do we ever hope our therapist takes our side? And of course, the big question that everyone wanted to know… WHY are we in couples therapy in the first place? (We got really vulnerable and emotional with this one…)
    We hope these topics (and our sometimes controversial answers) start some conversations that you never knew you needed to have!
    Links & Resources:
    Our Courses & Guides
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS
    Thanks Helix. helixsleep.com/pillow and get 30% off.

    • 1 hr 5 min
    These 4 Communication Mistakes Cause Breakups

    These 4 Communication Mistakes Cause Breakups

    Are these four communication mistakes ruining your relationship?
    In today’s episode we’re revealing the Four Horsemen. Researcher John Gottman discovered that these specific communication pitfalls could predict divorce with over 90% accuracy!
    We’re breaking down what they are, how to know if you’re doing them, and what to do to have better communication going forward.
    Links & Resources:
    Our Courses & Guides

    • 54 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
2K Ratings

2K Ratings

mds1500 ,

Your Podcast is Helping Me Heal!

I have been healing from a chronic illness for nearly 10 years, and as a result it has been difficult for me to experience physical pleasure, much less have the desire for sex. I also struggled with unaddressed sexual trauma and all of this really impacted my romantic relationship. Recently I’ve started working on rediscovering my sexuality and your podcast has been an enormous help! Your relationship and energetic dynamic truly embodies the notion that sex is about having fun, being playful and feeling good! To be honest, I have actually thought about you guys during sex - not in a sexual way, but as a reminder to tap into the wisdom I’ve gained from your podcast so that I can relax and be in the moment. Thank you for the joy and insight you’ve brought to my sex life - and my partner thanks you too! 🍒

Loves2laugh87 ,

Shocked in a Good Way

I have followed Xander and Vanessa on Insta for a while and decided to give the podcast a shot. I fell in love from the first episode I found as I was scrolling. I listened to their episode about being child free and felt so connected to them. It felt so validating to hear their raw opinions and emotions. Now, I listen weekly and look forward to listening to their episodes weekly.

robinsonjackie39 ,

24 years of marriage still can use all the advice!

I found your Instagram a little while ago, and finally started listening to the podcast. Almost immediately I reached out to my spouse to have him start listening too. Our relationship isn’t bad, but it can always be better, and this is helping us be better. Thank you so much!

Top Podcasts In Health & Fitness

Huberman Lab
Scicomm Media
The School of Greatness
Lewis Howes
The High Life with Ricki Lake
Lemonada Media
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Ten Percent Happier
Nothing much happens: bedtime stories to help you sleep
iHeartPodcasts

You Might Also Like

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
Cloud10
Sex With Emily
Dr. Emily Morse
The Liz Moody Podcast
Liz Moody
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Umbrella
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon Doyle and Audacy
Momwell
Erica Djossa