11 episodes

Educator and bestselling author Dr. Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science. The eight-part series is a modern guide to sexual wellbeing, backed by groundbreaking research about desire, anatomy, orgasm and much more. In conversation with her producer, Mo, Dr. Nagoski debunks cultural myths and flips the script on everything you thought you knew about sex and sexuality. Come As You Are will help you unlock your most pleasurable life, in the bedroom and beyond.

New episodes drop on Wednesdays.

Lead production by Monique LaBorde.

Come As You Are is produced by Pushkin Industries and Madison Wells.

Show art by Sofie Birkin.

To hear episodes a week early and ads free, subscribe to Pushkin+ in Apple Podcasts or at pushkin.fm/plus.

Come As You Are Pushkin

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.5 • 355 Ratings

Listen on Apple Podcasts
Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher

Educator and bestselling author Dr. Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science. The eight-part series is a modern guide to sexual wellbeing, backed by groundbreaking research about desire, anatomy, orgasm and much more. In conversation with her producer, Mo, Dr. Nagoski debunks cultural myths and flips the script on everything you thought you knew about sex and sexuality. Come As You Are will help you unlock your most pleasurable life, in the bedroom and beyond.

New episodes drop on Wednesdays.

Lead production by Monique LaBorde.

Come As You Are is produced by Pushkin Industries and Madison Wells.

Show art by Sofie Birkin.

To hear episodes a week early and ads free, subscribe to Pushkin+ in Apple Podcasts or at pushkin.fm/plus.

Listen on Apple Podcasts
Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher

    Sex after Heartbreak

    Sex after Heartbreak

    Science writer Florence Williams felt blindsided when her twenty-five-year marriage unexpectedly fell apart. Trained as a journalist, Florence set out on an expedition to understand the science of heartbreak and game her way back to health. Enjoy this special excerpt from Florence's audiobook, "Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey", where you'll hear her talk about sex and dating amidst divorce. And if you’re interested in hearing more of her story, download the complete audiobook at pushkin.fm/heartbreak. 
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 32 min
    Love Lessons From the "Masters of Relationships" on The Happiness Lab

    Love Lessons From the "Masters of Relationships" on The Happiness Lab

    Some people are just good at building and maintaining healthy partnerships. In their "Love Lab", the married researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman have seen how certain couples interact in ways that mean they'll happily stick together for decades. Enjoy this special episode of The Happiness Lab with Dr Laurie Santos.

    The Gottmans join Dr Santos to explain what we can learn from these "Masters of Relationships" - so that the stresses and strains of life don't destroy our intimate partnerships. 
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 45 min
    The Science of Great Sex in Long-Term Relationships

    The Science of Great Sex in Long-Term Relationships

    A listener in his eighties wants to know if there’s an expiration date on his sex life, and how to reconnect in the bedroom with his wife. Luckily, Emily is writing a new book about sex in long-term relationships. She delves deep into what the research reveals about couples who sustain a strong sexual connection over many years. Plus, she shares practical, science-backed sex advice on aging and navigating your changing body.

     

    If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.

    Books mentioned by Emily: 

    “Magnificent Sex” by Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz 

    “Black Girls Guide to Surviving Menopause” by Omisade Burney-Scott

    “What Fresh Hell Is This?” by Heather Corinna

    “Why Good Sex Matters” by Nan Wise

    ”Couples Sexuality After 60” by Barry and Emily M
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 36 min
    Consent and "Enthusiastic Maybe"

    Consent and "Enthusiastic Maybe"

    This week, Emily answers a question from her producer, Mo, about consent. Mo and her girlfriend are considering a new sexual experience but they’re not both an “enthusiastic yes” on the idea. Mo’s girlfriend joins the conversation, and they delve into the idea of “enthusiastic maybe” in consent and how to handle all the comfortable, joyful, and consensual “maybes” that can come up in sex. A heads up before listening: in this conversation, we touch on difficult topics such as coercion and manipulation in sex. If this episode brings up some feelings for you, check out our resources below.

    If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show. 

     

    ADDITIONAL RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 

    “ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society” by Angela Chen 

    Emily learned the language of “willing consent” from Suzanne Iasenza

    For more on “human givers” and “human winners” read “Burnout” 

    Emily’s Tiktok 

    Emily’s definition of consent: “Everyone is glad to be there and free to leave with no unwanted consequences. Plus, there is no unwanted pain.”

     

    CONSENT AND SURVIVOR RESOURCES: 

    RAINN on consent and information for sexual assault survivors 

    National Sexual Violence Resource Center

    Me Too Movement Resource Library 

     
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 49 min
    Sex Ed from Pop Culture

    Sex Ed from Pop Culture

    We switch things up this week as Mo challenges Emily to watch and rate a sex scene from the popular TV show “Ted Lasso." Emily rarely watches sex scenes since they often create the myths she works so hard to dispel, but she agrees to endure this torture for the good of our sex education. The scene prompts a deep conversation about vulnerability in sex, the absolute prison of masculinity, and what the dual control model can teach us about our porn habits.

    If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 28 min
    How to Improve Your Orgasms

    How to Improve Your Orgasms

    Emily answers calls from listeners who are struggling with their orgasms, and debunks several myths about where orgasm happens in the body. She also explains how we can train our brains to change our experience of orgasm with some practice… and a little dismantling of the patriarchy.

    If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    • 37 min

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5
355 Ratings

355 Ratings

Lizàna ,

A real game-changer!

This podcast is for anyone and everyone, especially if you struggle with any part of your sexuality. The episode on orgasm had me ugly crying in car because finally I felt seen, normal. Emily and Mo are kind, compassionate, and non-judgemental. I’m now reading the book and look forward to getting into all of Nagoski’s published work!

SexMedNP ,

The Real Deal Sex Podcast

Dr Emily was my gateway sex educator! Absolutely love her work -smart, funny, down to earth. So glad she has a podcast now, look forward to all she does!

Margo Hikes A Lot ,

This is freedom

Hallelujah! There is a place to go to learn/explore about my body, my pleasure, my sex— without judgment or patriarchy. I am 54, and come to this age sadly under educated and fearful about my body, desire and pleasure. About a year ago I started listening to podcasts that would help me break down my walls and discover something more. This podcast, and a few others….wow, just wow. I am so much freer, happier, and satisfied. I heard Emily Nagoski interviewed in many of my favorite podcasts and now she has her own. Bravo!!

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