50 episodes

While everyone wants to make themselves and their lives better, it has been hard to find specific, actionable steps to accomplish that. Until now...

Patrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication, and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.

He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk.

Social Skills Coaching Patrick King

    • Society & Culture
    • 4.7 • 46 Ratings

While everyone wants to make themselves and their lives better, it has been hard to find specific, actionable steps to accomplish that. Until now...

Patrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication, and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.

He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk.

    Be Still And Reflect

    Be Still And Reflect

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    00:03:35 Psychologist Dr. Ann Vertel uses reflective listening in her practice
    00:04:35 How to Master Reflective Listening
    00:13:48 Psychologizing—A Peculiar Kind of Invalidation
    • When we listen empathically and reflect, we go quiet and still within ourselves so we can receive as accurate a picture of the other person’s account as possible. We use mirroring and paraphrasing without questioning, leading, or starting a new thread.
    • We can reflect either content, feeling, or meaning, but should always remain non-directional and non-judgmental.
    #Empathic #EmpathicListeners #Invalidation #Jung #DrAnnVertel #Psychologizing #Reflecting #BeStillAndReflect #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathy
    Photo courtesy of George Becker and Pexels.

    • 20 min
    Fake It till You Make It

    Fake It till You Make It

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    00:01:27 In 2019, Matthew Berry and Steven Brown did research on the vocal tones
    00:06:14 Jo Emerson is a confidence coach
    00:07:10 Watch Your Body Language
    00:08:33 Maintain Comfortable Eye Contact
    00:09:26 Dress the Part
    00:10:38 Develop Your Personal Sense of Poise
    • Assertiveness is something you can fake till you make! Be mindful of your body language (stand tall and take up space), maintain comfortable eye contact, fine-tune your personal sense of style (whatever that is), and practice the habits of a poised, composed person (such as gracefully accepting compliments).
    #EyeContact #GenuineConfidence #JoEmerson #MatthewBerry #KarenPine #StevenBrown #BeingAssertive—OrAtLeastHowToFakeItTillYouMakeIt #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself
    Photo by Vlada-Karpovich and Pexels

    • 13 min
    Putting Your Questions Into Context

    Putting Your Questions Into Context

    Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo
    00:04:28 Elicitation Practice If none of the above work, that’s where the practice of elicitation comes in.
    00:08:15 Ellen Naylor in her 2016 book Win/Loss Analysis wrote about six specific elicitation techniques to get people talking.
    00:08:27 Recognition Practice Human beings are social animals.
    00:10:56 Complaining Technique This technique works with something else fundamental to human beings: how much we love to complain!
    00:15:45 Naïveté Technique In the same vein as the above, many people can’t help speaking up when they believe that someone is not wrong exactly, but merely trying to understand, and it’s their job to clear things up for them.
    00:17:57 Shift The Window This technique is a little more dramatic than the others, and may take a bit more practice, or otherwise being more familiar with the person in question.
    00:21:42 Silence Practice This last technique may not seem like the others, but in many cases, it can be the most powerful of all.
    00:25:05 Episode Takeaways
    • Analyze the answers to these questions cautiously, and remember to place everything in context. Note how they answer, not just the content, and also not what isn’t said. Use extrapolation to draw conclusions about what their answers say about them in a more general sense.
    • Questions needs to be iterative and responsive to the context and the answers you’ve already received. Also think about behavior online and in emails, or “read” a person’s possessions or home the way you would their body language. Use these observations to guide your questions.

    • Elicitation leads you to the information you’re looking for, without it seeming that you are.

    • Developed originally by the FBI, these techniques are really just ways to carefully work around conversational and societal norms to your advantage. They are effective because they work with human being’s natural social and behavioral tendencies.

    • For example, one tendency is towards recognition, or social connection. Use compliments or accurate observations to foster a rapport with someone or strengthen your connection.

    • You can also elicit information by encouraging people to complain, and in doing so, reveal something previously hidden, or else tap into the human need to correct someone’s error. Sued skillfully, most people cannot resist joining in on a complaining session or correcting an “error” you make.

    • Playing dumb or using naivete or ignorance will also encourage some people to try to educate you, and share vital information, especially since you will seem so non-threatening.

    • Finally, one technique is to say something quite dramatic to “shift the window” and then act as though nothing has happened; subtly, you may well elicit a revealing response. Silence can also be used effectively, since it encourages people to fill the gap with the information you want to know.

    #AccurateAssessments #AccurateObservations #AwkwardTension #BehavioralTendencies #Beliefs #BenignSituations #ComplainingTechnique #ElicitationPractice #EllenNaylor #IndirectQuestions #NaïvetéTechnique #SilencePractice #PuttingYourQuestionsIntoContext #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #HowtoExtractInfo #Secrets #andTruth

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    • 28 min
    The Rapport Game: Five Ways To Build Rapport

    The Rapport Game: Five Ways To Build Rapport

    Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag
    00:01:58 Mirroring and Matching
    00:03:03 In the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder introduced NLP
    00:05:24 Way 1: Match and Mirror External Communication Cues
    00:07:31 Way 2: Match and Mirror Voice and Language
    00:12:16 Way 3: Match and Mirror Internal Communication Cues
    00:16:56 Way 4: Match on Content
    00:18:38 Way 5: Chunking
    • Good conversation is firstly about the degree of concordance, harmony, and synchronicity between you and the person you’re talking to, i.e., rapport.
    • We can increase rapport by mirroring and matching both nonverbal and verbal expression. This can be done with internal and external cues, voice and language, content, and chunking style (i.e., up or down).

    #Chunking #Communication #EffortlessRapport #EmotionalContent #FacialExpression #JohnGrinder #NeuroLinguisticProgrammingNLP #NonverbalCommunication #RichardBandler #VerbalCommunication #TheRapportGame:FiveWaysToBuildRapport #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #CommunicationSkillsTraining

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    • 22 min
    Curiosity

    Curiosity

    00:03:07 Can I just observe without judgment or evaluation?
    00:07:41 Brian Grazer is the author of the bestseller A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life.
    00:10:39 Type 1: Diversive Curiosity This refers to being attracted to novelty.
    00:11:03 Type 2: Epistemic Curiosity Epistemology is the philosophical branch of inquiry related to the theory of knowledge itself.
    00:11:51 Type 3: Empathic Curiosity The type we are interested in here.
    00:14:16 Keep the Spark of Curiosity Alive
    00:17:25 Resist Superficiality
    00:20:47 No Such Thing as Boring
    00:21:26 Artist and composer John Cage gives this advice: “If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four.
    00:23:51 Random Acts of Kindness • Avoid psychologizing. When we interpret people’s experiences, we are no longer fully listening to them.
    • Empathy is impossible without curiosity. Curiosity is about more than asking questions—it’s about having a sincere desire to understand someone else’s heart, mind, and complete experience. It requires imagination, a hunger to learn, and an open mind.
    • The main thing that gets in the way of real curiosity in empathic listening is the impulse to insert our own opinion, perspective, or frame of reference into the conversation. Imagine that learning to be interested in others is not a boring challenge, but a gift and an opportunity.

    • There are three kinds of curiosity: diversive (interest in novelty), epistemic (deeper inquiry into knowledge itself), and empathic. Whenever you notice mild interest in novelty, see if you can explore and amplify it till it becomes richer empathic curiosity.

    • Keep the spark of curiosity alive by consistently asking why, digging beneath the superficiality of a situation, and challenging yourself to see nothing as boring.

    • Random acts of kindness can make us more empathic. Try to be more alert to other people’s needs and respond spontaneously to them.

    • Kindness is a shift from focus on the self to focus on the other. Continually ask yourself, “How are other people doing? What do they need?”

    #Empathy #Curiosity #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #TrainYourEmpathy

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    • 39 min
    Speak Loud, Speak Clear, And Speak From The Heart

    Speak Loud, Speak Clear, And Speak From The Heart

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    00:03:25 Feelings Are Never Right or Wrong
    00:05:26 People Are Responsible for Their Own Feelings
    00:07:30 Understand What the Goal of Communication Is
    00:09:18 Applying Self-Knowledge and Asking for What You Want
    • Assertive communication is not about force or coercion (aggressive) or pandering and submission (passive-aggressive) but about speaking confidently from the heart. To achieve mature, healthy communication, remember that feelings are never right or wrong, but it matters what we do with those feelings.
    • Other people are responsible for their feelings, and ultimately, the goal of communication is not to control others but to connect with them and get our mutual needs met. Finally, an important skill is to ask for what you need from a position of self-knowledge.

    #AggressiveCommunication #Assertive #Communication #CommunicationSkills #GoodConversation #AssertiveCommunication #NegativeEmotions #Passive #PassiveCommunication #Peoplepleasers #PoorCommunication #Reframing #SilentTreatment #SpeakLoud #SpeakClear #AndSpeakFromTheHeart #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #&StopPleasingOthers

    • 16 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
46 Ratings

46 Ratings

everbestme ,

Great

Just came across this. It’s the only podcast i wanna listen to. Educative and realistic. Thank you

2kanker ,

Just wow

Unsuspectingly addictive & brilliant!

Queen of Charm ,

Basic info

Important topics, but nothing really new or insightful.

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