Dear Midlife..‪.‬ Shelby Bybee and Trinity Greenfield

Have you ever stood on the verge of making a big decision that you knew would change your life forever? We can think of only a handful of moments like this is in our lives...when it came to shifting jobs or, perhaps, saying "yes" to marriage...deciding to leave our marriages (lol). These moments are pivotal and, to be honest, we wish we were brave enough to take more of these leaps in life!

Today our guest, Laura Ericson, did just that. One day, she found herself with her finger hovering over the "send" button on her computer hesitating only briefly before sending a communication that would forever change her life. Today, Laura is living the life of her dreams as a female nomad and travel influencer to thousands of followers. She's got some serious mojo when it comes to globe-trotting after having played travel guide to over 150 people across 7 countries. She's practically the Pied Piper of travelers, leading her loyal following to exotic destinations while dropping wisdom bombs along the way.

That's not just a vacation; that's a movement! And her mantra? "Just do it. Make it happen. No regrets. Laura loves travel because it provides perspective. Traveling opens your eyes to the struggles and triumphs of people worldwide, making you appreciate the heck out of your own situation. Laura inspires us so much with her life's too short attitude. We're seriously ready to grab my passport, pack my bags, and go! Who's in?!

But, Laura reminds us that it is also about the journey sometimes and she puts out the rallying cry for camaraderie. Her trips bring people together and create connections that may not have otherwise occurred, reminding us that we don't have to go it alone on this crazy journey called life. Laura's reminds us to find your tribe and to embrace adventure.

Life's too short for solo missions. And Laura's living proof that age ain't nothing but a number. Divorce might feel like the end of the world, but she's here to remind us that it's just the beginning of a new chapter, baby! She is like a beacon of hope, shining a light on the endless possibilities that await those brave enough to take the leap.

In this episode, Laura teaches us: 



Just do it. Make it happen. No regrets. You'll miss out on a lot of lessons in life if you don't just take a leap sometimes.



Focus on what you DO have, instead of what you don't. Traveling can offer you perspective on the struggles and challenges that so many face around the world. Appreciate where you are and what you have.



You don't have to do life alone. There are always people out there to go along for the ride, to do the "thing" with you, to take the adventure, to support your dreams. Find your people.



Life goes on! You still have opportunity to live. No matter your age. Divorce may feel like a death. But, there is so much more life to live!



To find more of Laura:

website | lauraericson.com

info@lauraericson.com

Instagram | @lolawhiskey

To all you listeners out there, what are you waiting for? Embrace the unknown, seize the day, and let's make some damn memories! If you're looking to level up your life and find your tribe go to our website dearmidlife.com. Join our community of like minded women and let's do life in the middle together.

You know, we spend so much of our lives taking care of other people. Many of us are parents and raise and nurture our children. Many of us are not parents, but we care for and nurture spouses, parents, neighbors, and colleagues. Caring for others feels instinctive to women. However, we rarely take the time or have the inclination to care for our own social or emotional needs.

So true! It is especially this time in midlife when women long for more emotional depth, connection, and closeness in their relationships with their older children, female friendships, and intimate partners. And yet, if you're like us....we have struggled in so many ways to cultivate the kind of relationships that really feel nourishing and mutually fulfilling. If you're also feeling this way, our guest today, Deb Blum, reminds us that building deep and meaningful relationships with others ALWAYS starts with our relationship to ourselves. 

Deb teaches us how to use EVERYTHING that happens in life as a way to learn more about ourselves. If we pay attention to our triggers or gaps, we can see reflected back to us those places where we are still not accepting ourselves, where we are defensive, or otherwise resisting ourselves, others, or life.  These idiosyncrocies often stem back to our childhood and the way we've interpreted and internalized certain occurrences or consistent messaging from our caretakers.

Deb is an expert in reparenting our inner child. She guides her clients to understanding and learning to relate to their emotional triggers in a much more self-compassionate and self-aware way. She advocates a hand to heart technique in which we can all speak to our inner child in a way that evokes a renewed sense of calm and safety so that our protector parts can become less vigilant over time allowing our true self to emerge.

Her approach helps us to learn more about what we need what our inner child needs, especially when we really don't even think we have needs or don't know what we need. And THEN the magic happens because when we learn how to start bringing ourselves more into our lives - we can then also start to bring our opinions about little things like what to eat for dinner, what movie to watch and, ultimately, find our voice for the larger more important things in life...

We have long recognized the fact that women in midlife have gotten lost somewhere along the way. Maybe we've allowed the past to override our voice. Or, perhaps, we've just given ourselves over to so many other priorities that we've lost ourselves along the way. But, NOW is your time to find yourself and your voice. Deb says her goal is to remove all of the barriers to love so that she eventually becomes love in its fullest and purest form! I think that is so beautiful and if you are in this place and space and don't know where to start, go to our website dearmidlife.com and tap into the resources we have available for you there.

In this episode, Deb teaches us...



When we are young, do to conditioning or parenting, we are taught that who we are is not "good" or "right" and, as a result, turn away from our authentic selves to become who we believe mommy or daddy want us to be. As an adult, it becomes difficult to break out of those patterns because these were our survival patterns



We have many "parts" that live within us. There is the adult self, the protector, the inner child and even a higher self. Oftentimes, the person we believe we are is truly a protector part masquerading as an adult.



Put your hand on your heart and you speak to yourself with compassion, in the way you would speak to a good friend. This motion will build a connection to self and demonstrate that you are there to give your inner child a voice.



When doing parts work, there are many possible parts that live within you. Meet the one that is there and meet them where they are.



There are also shadows that live within you. Although the shadow self can include negative impulses, su

Our guest today, Lynne Golodner did something brave and bold. She pursued her dreams and stepped into the role of author, writing coach, marketing entrepreneur and host of the Make Meaning Podcast. Lynne writes emotional novels with compelling Jewish characters who are determined to fill their lives with passion, purpose and love.

That's right! so many of us have these dreams or beliefs that we are meant for more, but are too afraid to pursue them. We allow our own internal negative narratives to hold us back. But, in this episode, Lynne encourages us to live lives of passion and purpose, just like the strong female characters in her novel. 

Lynne's first novel, Woman of Valor, debuted on September 26, 2023 and is a story about the courage to love the ordinary and seek satisfaction where you are, while shedding the need to please others. Lynne draws from her life experience as an Orthodox Jew for ten years to allow the reader a glimpse into what that world looks like. 

Lynne is an inspiration not only in her ability to help others become better writers, but also in her life experiences and own personal career pivots. Lynne found the courage to launch her own business as a single mom, utilize her skills and ultimately, embrace what she's always wanted to do, become a writer, and find success! 

Lynne has worked hard to hone her writing skills and has had the courage to decide that writing is what she wants to focus on in the future. She is no longer going to listen to those who say she won't make any money at it and she has moved past her own self-doubt to set a goal of publishing a book a year moving forward and she's been featured on Character Development, The Book Marketing Action Podcast, Savvy Social podcast and in a number of other outlets.

In today's episode, Lynne teaches us;


 Become a perpetual student.
Allow yourself to pursue creative endeavors.
Follow your dreams and do the "thing" (whatever that thing is for you). Do it messy and then...make it better. Don't wait for perfection to get started.
Explore the "what-ifs" or the "worst case scenarios" that live in our brain and prevent us from moving forward to step into our purpose. You may just find that these are not as scary as you think!
Find your people! Whether you want to write a book or pursue another endeavor, find the people and community to support you.

To find more of Lynne:

Website | lynnegolodner.com

Instagram | @lynnegolodner

Twitter.com | @YourPeople

Facebook | @lynnegolodner

LinkedIn | @lynnegolodner

So, here's the thing, ladies. If Lynne can do it...so can you. It is NEVER too late to define and pursue the life of your dreams. It is TIME to step into your purpose and we're here to help you. Go to our website at dearmidlife.com and join our community. There you will find so many tools and resources to help you reclaim who you are and figure out who in the hell you want to become.

Before we ever interview any guests, we share with them this one disclaimer...Trinity raises her hand and says, "I'm the cusser"...and Shelby follows with, "...and I'm the cryer." And, of course, If you have been listening to our pod for any amount of time, you realize that this is true (though, I'm sure Shelby has thrown out a few choice words as well! And Trinity reminds us that this damn podcast has even made her shed a tear or two! 

Our guest today, Aoife (pronounced "ee-fuh") McCormack, helps us understand that certain people (Shelby may just be one), known as "highly sensitive", have more sensitive nervous systems in which they see, sense, feel, and simply absorb more of the world and people around them. This can make it difficult for their bodies to process all of these feelings and emotions. Further, we've spoken on numerous occasions as to how these emotions can remain stuck in your nervous system and create disease in the body. This manifests itself in many ways such as pain and illness.

Aoife is a transformational health coach for highly sensitive women. She teaches her clients how to heal themselves without diets, supplements and health gimmicks. She does this by teaching women how to get laser clear on the real root of their symptoms and make some mental shifts that will help them to reclaim their past, shift limiting beliefs and start to be able to build a future they thought they had lost. 

In this episode, Aoife teaches us:



Highly sensitive people have more sensitive nervous systems in which they see, sense, feel, and absorb things more of the world and people around them and this can make it difficult for your body to process all of these feelings and emotions, which can create disease in the body.



when you feel triggered, get curious. Begin to question, what about the situation at hand has made you angry or feel unsafe. Armed with this information, you can start to do the work within your nervous system to begin to create a space of safety.



Stop berating yourself. Give yourself compassion.



When we are small, we are taught that our gifts of creativity, empathy, joy are not valued. Parents of our generation taught us to be seen, not heard. So, we had no outlet in which to express any emotions.



Speaking of building a future you thought you'd lost...this is mid life...not the end of your life! You still have a lot of life left to live. Are you out there living the way you want to. Do you scroll social media wishing you could have someone else's life? Well, this is your chance to recreate your life to be exactly how you want it to be. Here's the beautiful thing...you don't have to do it alone. You have the Dear Midlife tribe behind you. Go to our website dearmidlife.com and join one of our communities to gain access the tools, resources, and community you need to live your best life! 

Alright, ladies and our 3 guys out there! buckle up for another episode of the Dear Midlife podcast, where we spill the tea, serve the truth, and keep it realer than reality TV with our guest today, dating coach extraordinaire, Anwar White. Trinity stumbled on Anwar when her sister (shout out to Tanya) shared one of his Tik Tok videos and she was hooked on this man who is a knower and "truth sayer" on all the dating BS...which has been a real struggle for both of us in the years since our divorces 7 and 8 years ago.

We are both pretty sure we lost count of how many frogs we've kissed over the years a LOOOONNNGG time ago and BOTH of us are so ready to settle down and find a lasting and LOVING relationship and ya'll know us! Here in our little corner of the internet, we do not do small talk—we do straight talk. And today, Anwar is about to drop some major truth bombs.

Anwar's got the inside scoop on all things love, relationships, and dating disasters. And let me tell you, he's not holding back! Anwar is your fairy god brother and he's all about that unapologetic truth-telling and keeping it real, whether you like it or not.

THAT is the BEST part about Anwar's advice! He has over 13 years of experience as a dating coach. He's got so many success stories and experiences to share. And let's be real ourselves for a sec—ain't nobody got time for sugar-coated advice. We want the raw, unfiltered truth, and that's exactly what Anwar brings to the table.

So, grab your notebooks, folks, because Anwar's about to school us on the dos and don'ts of dating in the modern world. Get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe even shed a tear or two. It's about to get real up in here!

In today's episode, Anwar teaches us: 



Physical chemistry deteriorates after 18 months. Prioritize the items that spell compatibility for you in a lasting partnership instead of seeking a relationship in which physical attributes are the priority.



You can identify your needs (vs. wants) by exploring the things that you wanted from your parents as a child but did not receive. These are different for everyone but can include things like, attention, affection, being. cherished, encouraging your talents....think about what are these things for you?



When using dating apps, swipe right if you'd rate the match at a 5 on looks. Chances are, once you get to know the individual, they my rate higher based on their personal qualities and characteristics. When you swipe right on the 9s/10s, these men have 100s of people just like you in queue. You'll get lost in the shuffle.



Most guys are not going to have great communication skills. Use the 80/20 rule...for every 5 guys you engage with, 4 of them will not have a strong ability to communicate and ask questions.



YOU set the tone for the pace and the emotional depth for all of your relationships and courtships. You being your true authentic self, is one of your best dating strategies.



To find more of Anwar:

Instagram | @getyourguy_coaching

TikTok | @datingcoachanwar

And if you are about getting real, honest advice and actionable tips about how to level up life in the middle, go to our website dearmidlife.com and sign up for one of our communities! There we offer learning and support to topics such as building relationships, leveling up your career, gaining control of your health and hormones and so much more. AND...Tomorrow night, we are hosting our VERY FIRST Midlife momentum Happy Hour. Where you can connect and spill the tea with women just like you! To join us, go to our website: dearmidlife.com, open the community from the members button in the upper right hand corner and click on the "Meetups" tab! We can't wait to meet you!

You know, it was appropriate that just prior to recording this interview Trinity received the results of some recent blood work and was surprised to find that her Estrogen levels were at ZERO and my FSH was at 118 and these things together signified that she is "officially" post-menopausal. The funny story is that she sent the results some of her BFFs with a big arrow pointing to "post-menopausal" comment and each had a different reaction...one said, "HOORAY!!!" Another stated, "I don't know how to feel about that." Another, asked HER how she felt about it.  

This just emphasizes the societal messaging that menopausal women are old, unnecessary, irrelevant, unattractive or that our life...no WE are hopeless and maybe useless as we age! Well, f**k that shit! LOL

We, honestly, feel like menopause is a milestone to be celebrated and today our guest, Beccy Freeman, helps us understand that while menopause and midlife can, perhaps, mean an end to an era...it can also be a beautiful beginning to a new adventure and FREEDOM!

Beccy is a Women's Health and Lifestyle Coach and supports women who are making this transition to survive and thrive in the second half of life. She is passionate in her belief that perimenopause and menopause don't have to rule your life and that with, holistic supports in place, you can move through this time of change and transition and find ever more purpose, passion and power on the other side. Beccy uses her signature framework of wellness, mindset and meaning to help her clients restore their vitality and redefine their lives and sense of self.

In this episode, Beccy teaches us:



Perimenopause can sometimes start in mid-30's and go until our late 50's. 



Menopause is marked by going 12 consecutive months without a menstrual cycle. 



Essential oils can help alleviate some menopausal symptoms...including lavender for sleep, clary sage for hormonal imbalances (period pain, aches and cramps), geranium for mood and frankincense enhances or amplifies the therapeutic effects all essential oils. 



Menopause can be a time to grieve and of loss of what was...but, also a time of gain...and that brings with it FREEDOM to not give a shit!



To find more of Beccy:

Website | breatheandblossom.com.au

If you are in this phase of life...and I'm guessing if you're listening to this podcast, you are, girl...this is not the end! This is the beginning of a new adventure. But, we know that can be daunting...for all of us. So, that's why we started the "Middle" a community of women in midlife who will help and support one another as the navigate this new chapter. Visit our website at dearmidlife.com to join. Also, follow us on Facebook and Instagram.