Social Skills Coaching Patrick King

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:01:12 Broadly speaking, there are three types of validation:
00:01:44 1. Emotional Validation
00:03:52 2. Behavioral Validation
00:05:49 3. Cognitive Validation
00:10:02 In Listening to Conflict, author Eric Van Slyke outlines six listening levels.
00:14:37 To be a good listener, try to remember H-U-R:
•Hearing the Message
•Understanding the message
•Responding to the message
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• Validation is the process of genuinely hearing, seeing, and witnessing another person’s lived reality and allowing it to be what it is. It’s crucial in good communication. Validation is not agreement or reinforcement but recognizing emotions for what they are. It can be emotional, behavioral, or cognitive—or all three.

• Good listening is the ability to be open and receptive, to accept what we’re told, but also to process and really engage with that information so that we can also return it to the speaker if appropriate.

• There are six increasing levels of listening: passive, responsive, selective, attentive, active, and empathic. Remember your role as a listener with the HUR acronym: hear the message, understand it, and respond. We can respond and show our understanding by paraphrasing, reflecting, and summarizing.

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Easily listen to The Science of Self in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/ScienceOfSelfPodcast
http://bit.ly/GeniusHollins
• Lincoln’s genius traits included intellectual honesty, morality, non-conventionality, and soft skills such as empathy and communication.

• Lincoln had little formal education and had an ordinary background, but was someone who possessed all the skills we associate with genius. He was most talented, perhaps, at working with the genius of others.

• After he was elected president, Lincoln surprised everyone by appointing his “team of rivals” consisting of the men he had beaten in the election, and who often disagreed with him. But with this team, he was able to achieve the enormous accomplishments he is still known for today.

• Like Darwin, Lincoln understood that success and learning come from challenge and the courage to consider alternate and conflicting viewpoints. Lincoln’s cabinet also allowed him to make use of people’s diverse talents.

• Lincoln was also, unlike many in this book, a master at soft skills such as empathy, communication, and the ability to tap into a strong moral code of ethics to power his goals.

• The five genius traits already covered are enhanced and transmitted more effectively when combined with these soft skills, as Lincoln demonstrates. Under his leadership, the Civil War ended with emancipation and the end of slavery, as well as a new and unified national spirit that defined the democratic principles of the country going forward.

• To be like Lincoln, we need to know how to ask for help, to work with others, to engage our critics and competition strategically, and to take even our enemies as our best teachers.

• Lincoln also teaches us the power of connecting not only with our own moral compass, but with other people via their values and principles, to become better communicators and more effective leaders.

#AbrahamLincoln #AdamSmith #AmericanCivilWar #Confederacy #Darwin #Declaration #Descartes #DorisKearnsGoodwin #Edison #Einstein #Genius #Gettysburg #GettysburgAddress #IsaacNewton #Kentucky #Lincoln #Nonconventionality #PoliticalGenius #Socrates #SoldiersNationalCemetery #Tesla #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #ThinkLikeaGenius

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home
00:05:11 Step 1: Be Aware of What You Feel
00:09:47 Step 2: Normalize
00:11:52 Step 3: Tell the Truth
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• When we engage in people-pleasing, we are trying to extract validation, approval, and liking from other people. However, self-validation is the ability to provide all these things for ourselves.
• We create self-validation when we acknowledge and accept how we feel without judgment, normalize that feeling, then speak the truth about it.

#Boundary #Normalize #Peoplepleasing #Selfvalidation #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching #StandUpForYourself #SetBoundaries #StopPleasingOthers